The girls were all abuzz with excitement for Adrian's toilet meade party. They had all been asked by a boy to attend, and it was all they could talk about after dinner. I was a bit distracted, however, secretly keeping my eyes peeled for Draco all day. It was rare for him to come to meals in the Great Hall lately. I would maybe see him once a day, at breakfast, where we would pretend like we didn't know each other. That was fine by me. As long as he kept my secret, I would keep his.
"Dimitri asked me to the party in potions class," Evelyn chirped from her bed. "Well, he was about to, until he spilled frog's blood on his sleeve."
Penny laughed, arranging her hair in a tight ponytail for the night. "Adrian said we could all come. I'm quite excited; this is going to be our first party as fifth years."
"It'll be my first time trying meade," Greta informed us with a twinge of nervousness. She always was nervous, that girl. "What's it like? Does it make you feel drunk right away?"
"It doesn't work that way," Penny said, as if it should be obvious. "You need to drink a lot at first. Get a good buzz going. And then you can just sip for the rest of the night and you'll get drunk. I know because I've had my parents' wine on multiple occasions. Not that they knew, as I charmed it to look clear as water."
I worked on my painting silently on my bed. I had nothing to contribute to the conversation; no past experience with booze, or boys. Penny picked up on my silence, and said to me, "How did Cade ask you to the party, Erica?"
I looked up from my painting, realizing I had already forgotten the exact details of the encounter. "He cornered me outside the hospital wing," I said with a twinge of annoyance. Greta's mouth popped open.
"Ugh, that's so romantic," Greta whined. "I thought Adrian would invite me personally, especially because we spent so much time snogging in the owlery last term. But Robbie was the one to tell me."
"Robbie is fit," Evelyn said to the distraught girl. "But if you don't fancy him, we can switch."
Greta and Evelyn started to hash out the pros and cons of each of their dates, debating whether they should switch boys or not. Penny adjusted to lay on her bed propped up on her elbows, looking at me with analytical eyes. "Erica, do you reckon Cade will kiss you?"
My paintbrush almost flew out of my hand. I uttered, "I have no idea."
"Have you ever been kissed by a boy?" Penny inquired, like it was a question on an exam that I had to pass. I shook my head.
Penny's eyes squeezed shut as her body shook with laughter. Greta and Evelyn looked over from their discussion to see what was so funny.
"Erica's never been kissed!" Penny chortled. "Oh, I shouldn't be surprised. If you had, you would have told us." I looked down at my lap, feeling embarrassed.
"That has to change," Greta chimed in excitedly. "At the party next weekend, for certain. You have to."
I shrugged. "I don't know if... if I want my first kiss to be with Cade."
"Who then?" Penny asked, continuing her inquisition. I began to suspect that this was not light-hearted friendly banter, but rather, fishing for the answer to which boy I harbored feelings for. Even if I did want to tell her the truth, what could I even say? That I rather like professional Quidditch players and the twenty-something man that works at the bookshop in Diagon Alley? What about Draco, who gives me that nauseous pixies-in-the-stomach feeling whenever I think of him restraining me in the Forbidden Forest? None of these were good answers. Especially not Draco. Admitting to them that I thought he was attractive was practically handing them an invitation to tease and berate me for all eternity.
"Well?" Penny prodded me again. I snapped out of my thinking fog.
"I don't know who I fancy yet," I replied sheepishly. "I'm trying to keep an open mind, I suppose."
"Well if your mind is so open, then why not just get it over with and do it with Cade?"
Feeling verbally cornered, I gave in, only to get her off my back. "Fine," I sighed. "I suppose I might as well. But if he has ghastly breath, I won't do it."
Everyone chuckled at that. A smug smile crept upon Penny's face. "I'll make sure he takes a peppermint."
The girls went to sleep not long after that. The room was stuffy, and when it was this warm Greta snored. The rhythmic inhalations from her side of the room that resembled a sputtering broomstick kept me from ever fully closing my eyes. Additionally, I was quite peeved from tonight's conversation. Penny was getting pushier every year, treating us like actors in her make-believe play.
Can I really endure two more years of this? Two more years of being nothing more than her dog? I tossed and turned, the sheets falling to the floor. I let them stay there. My mind itched for something to do, to distract myself. I had to get out of this room, or else I might burst into tears.
I shimmied out of my pajama bottoms and into corduroy pants. I put on some shoes, grabbed my notebook, wand, and a sweater, and went to the common room.
It was late, so I was surprised to see that the common room was already occupied. Crabbe, Goyle, Blaise Zabini, and Pansy Parkinson were all sitting around the fireplace, leaning in like they were in some heated conversation.
"It's our duty to help him," Pansy whispered, her dark brows furrowed just like her younger sister's. "He can't do it alone."
"He doesn't want our help," Blaise responded angrily.
"Well something has to be done-" Pansy began to say, but stopped when she noticed me standing in the corridor. All at once, their heads turned to look at me. My adrenaline spiked. They were a fearsome looking bunch.
"Can we help you?" Pansy said to me, but I could tell it was her way of saying 'this room is occupied, so scram.'
I shifted uncomfortably. "I-I was just going to get some fresh air."
They continued eyeing me as I crossed the room to the exit. I expected Pansy to say something about me breaking curfew, but she said nothing; her only wish for me to leave. Even when my back was turned, I could feel the cold tingle of their gazes following me until the moment the door closed behind me. And in the dark hall outside of the Slytherin house, I was utterly alone.
I could take the staircase up to the rest of the castle and risk being caught by a patrolling prefect or professor. Or, I could take one of the unknown doors in the basement I had never used before. I knew a few belonged to Professor Snape; but I always assumed the others were storage closets.
A storage closet seems like a good place to hide in for an hour or so while I wait for Pansy and her lot to clear out, I decided, and opened the door closest to my right.
To my surprise, it was not a storage closet; it was a passageway containing a staircase. Why haven't I used this before? I wondered. My curiosity drew me forward, and I used my wand to light the sconces lining the passage. As I climbed the stairs, I saw light at the top; and realized that this passage led almost directly to a secret path to the Black Lake.
Perfect. I felt the relief of the cold night air on my skin, and tugged on my sweater, making my way to the sandy bank. There wasn't another soul in sight, but I kept my wand out and ready just in case something were to be lurking in the shadows. If I wasn't feeling so pissed, I might have turned back. But a part of me was kind of looking for a fight.
I took a seat right on the sand, finding a good angle for the moonlight to illuminate the pages of my notebook. The lake was the perfect subject to paint tonight; it was a waxing moon, almost full; but shining so brightly it left imprints in my eyelids. I began to sketch my outline and felt the stress dissipate from my body. Penny, Evelyn and Greta were distant thoughts, as distant as the evergreen trees across the lake. I sketched three trees, naming them each in accordance to my friends. Then after some consideration, I erased them- making them miniscule little shrubs instead.
"You shouldn't be out this late. It's dangerous."
I whipped around, wand drawn, allowing my paintbrush to fall onto the page. I relaxed when I saw it was only Draco Malfoy, dressed head to toe in a slim black suit. He had somehow appeared at the edge of the bank.
I frowned, lowering my wand. "The only dangerous thing I see is you."
His eyes flicked to the notebook in my lap. "Studying this late? You must be crazy."
"Not crazy. Just an insomniac," I closed the book, not wanting Draco to see my mediocre paintings. "What are you doing here? Out to catch another Grindylow? Maybe a mermaid this time?"
Draco did not react to my teasing like I expected. He quietly replied, "I suppose you could say I've become a bit of an insomniac as well." His gaze went to me. "I would ask if you have something for that, but clearly if you did you would be asleep right now."
I let out a frustrated exhale. "The only remedy I know of is Sleeping Draught. Unfortunately, I'm shit at potions, and don't want to attempt it and poison myself."
"Is that what you're studying there?" Draco asked, referring to my book.
"No."
Draco stepped closer to me, eyeing the book that I was hiding in my hands. "What is it then? Healing charms?"
I didn't bother craning my neck to look up at him. "It's none of your business," I muttered.
That seemed to only bait Draco. He crouched, then swiftly took the book from my hands, keeping it out of my reach as he leafed through the pages. Embarrassment seeped through every bone in my body.
"They're just crappy paintings," I said to him, not wanting to indicate that I actually put in quite a bit of effort in case he deemed them horrible. Draco flipped through the pages quickly at first, then slowed, analyzing each for a moment that felt like an eternity.
"There's no people," he finally said, closing the book and tossing it back at my feet. "Only water and bushes."
"....They're called landscapes."
"It's Muggle art," Draco said with distaste.
I retorted sourly, "I use an enchanted paintbrush. Besides, I know I'm no good at it, that's why I came here to do it in private. The common room was occupied by Pansy."
I realized I probably shouldn't have brought her name up, for that seemed to pique Draco's interest. Narrowing his eyes, he asked, "Was she alone?"
"No. Crabbe, Goyle, and Blaise were there, too," I said, which made him roll his eyes.
"I suppose they were talking about me," Draco muttered, glaring out at the water.
"I-I don't know," I said. "Why would they be?"
Draco lifted a hand to his face, running his thumb and forefinger down the bones of his temple. "They've been worried about me, is all."
I considered my response carefully. "You have been acting differently."
Draco didn't respond to that. He only remained standing on the bank, looking at the water. It seemed he was aware of his odd behavior. It was only natural for his friends to be concerned; I wasn't even close to his inner circle, and even I had taken note of his absences at meals and in common areas. It was like he was trying to distance himself from something. The school, perhaps?
"I've been burdened with a difficult task," Draco said suddenly. "It is something only I can do. No one else."
Unsure of what he was referring to, I asked with hesitance, "... is this task quite dangerous?"
Draco shook his head. He'd said too much. "It's none of your concern," he muttered.
"It is of my concern if you're going to get yourself injured again."
An owl hooted in the distance. The night air was getting crisper, more chill. A shiver went down my spine, but beside me Draco seemed unaffected. I suspected maybe his blood ran cold. I wouldn't be surprised.
"What you said to me that night you healed me in the common room," Draco began, "When you said you would heal me whenever I wished. Does that offer still stand?"
I was taken aback so much that I stumbled over my words. "W-well, for difficult wounds, you should go to Madam Pomfrey-"
"That's no good," Draco shook his head. "It has to be you. You did say she taught you all that she knew."
"Almost all-"
"Then learn it all," he said with a commanding tone. I looked up and saw that he was looking down at me, his expression determined, lips taut- but his eyes were scared. This was all he was asking of me. To become a full-fledged Healer at the age of 15.
"I'm crap at potions," I blurted. "Madam Pomfrey said I would have to get Outstanding marks on all my subjects if I want to become a Healer."
Draco's lip curled. "I don't have time to help you, if that's what you're asking. You offered to help me. So do more studying. Less Muggle art." He turned on his heel and began to walk away. I almost let him leave, but I had more questions.
"Wait!" I called after him. "How will I know if you're hurt again?"
He didn't look back when he replied, "I'll find you."
And with that final remark, he trod back to the castle, leaving me on the edge of the freezing lake alone.