Before:
"He told me something was going on, but not what. Tell us!" Biana narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure it's not... you know?"
"Yes, I'm sure." Keefe swore under his breath again. "I guess I have to tell you, don't I."
It wasn't a question.
"Fine." Keefe hesitated for a long second... two... and then let it out in one big breath, almost too quietly to hear. "My parents are applying for a match-fail."
Keefe stretched out in the meadow, exhaling until all the air was gone from his body and his lungs burned. He relished the need for air, associating it with his need for love that had plagued him since he was five and realized that whatever his parents had, and whatever they felt for him, it wasn't love.
Keefe couldn't stand it anymore and inhaled, sucking up oxygen from the crisp air as he gasped for air.
No, his parents had never loved him.
That was clear with every reprimand, every neglect, every time leaving without saying goodbye. Every time his mother stayed her hand while tears slid down Keefe's cheeks, every time his father shouted and threatened and did his best to crush Keefe's spirit, he was reminded, over and over, that he was unlovable, nothing, a mistake, a failure.
And this?
This re-enforced that.
It was nothing new, of course.
Of course Fitz went over to apologize.
Of course Sophie forgave him.
Of course she would never love him.
Keefe squeezed his eyes shut as his imparter went off again. He didn't bother checking it; it would be Sophie or Biana, and he wasn't in the mood to talk to either of them right now.
The light burned behind Keefe's closed eyelids, or maybe that was tears. He forced them open.
Why was this a surprise?
Why was this affecting him so much?
Keefe had never been the type to think much about girls. He was much more focused on winning his mother's love, and when that failed, his pranks. It had only been last year, in fact, that he'd actually started to like Sophie for real. And this rejection... Why did he care so much?
She could make her own choices, and she'd obviously chosen Fitz. That was fine. Keefe was completely okay with that.
Why did he care so much?
Looking at this from a critical point of view, Sophie represented all the love Fitz had received that he had never had. This was one final insult to Keefe's pride, everything that others got that he had never known.
But that didn't help. Keefe liked Sophie.
A lot.
Looking at the source of these emotions didn't help one bit.
But he could move past it.
He could move on. He could let Sophie and Fitz be happy, like Alden had told him. He could be her friend, but stop the flirting and hinting and all that.
He could move on.
Keefe stood up, suddenly realizing how dark it was. The sun had moved down while he had sat there, thinking, and he was surprised by how stiff his limbs were. He squinted at his imparter in the fading light: six missed hails. Sophie and Biana. He stretched as he got to his feet, readying himself for the insults that would soon come flying his way as he held his home crystal up to the light and glittered away.
...
Candleshade was louder than usual. Keefe knew that there wasn't a dinner party, because Cassius usually told him, if only so he would know to stay out of the way. In fact, there were only two voices, echoing off of the walls as Keefe slumped inside, hoping his parents were too wrapped up in arguing to notice him.
For once, maybe they were.
"So you're just going to run off to your little beach house as soon as I bother to come home?" Gisela's voice wasn't as loud as it could be, but the icy bite behind it made Keefe glad that the freezing tone wasn't aimed at him.
Cassius laughed without humor. "Why shouldn't I?" Keefe's father's voice, on the other hand, was raised to a point that Keefe almost covered his ears. "What is there for me here? A disgusting tower with an absent wife and a failure of a son? Tell me why I shouldn't leave to be with people I actually like?"
Keefe flinched, the words hitting a scar he tried to bury deep inside.
"If you don't like us so much, why don't you leave." It wasn't a question, what Gisela aimed at her husband. It was more like a barbed spear, designed to stab deep and tear out organs when someone tried to dig it out.
"That's what I'm trying to do!" Cassius shouted, stepping around Gisela to get to the vortinator, no doubt intending to ride it up to the leapmaster.
But Gisela grabbed his arm, sinking her nails in so hard Cassius inhaled sharply, twisting his arm to wrench it out of her grasp.
But she held tight. "I didn't mean your little beach house, or your apartment," she hissed, stepping in closer. "I meant this marriage."
Cassius stiffened, his eyes widening in shock.
Keefe felt the sensation of the whole world dropping out from under him. His parents-
"You mean... applying for a match fail?" Lord Cassius breathed. "What will people say? Hardly anyone ever has a match fail. It's like insulting the matchmakers!"
Gisela snorted. "That's what everything's about, isn't it. Your image." That wasn't a question either. Keefe knew that every word she said was true. "But this marriage... it isn't working." Another truth. That marriage hadn't been working since before Keefe was born. "If something isn't working, it has to stop. This was long overdue, and it is happening."
She twisted Cassius's arm a little before letting go. Whatever guilt elves had about physical violence, she didn't have it. And Cassius was obviously reading her emotions, because he gave a little flinch.
His parents-
Keefe involuntarily let out a little shocked noise, and his parents both whipped their heads over to him in unison. Cassius's eyes glittered with anger, and Keefe knew that with the mood his father was in, Keefe wouldn't be going to his room anytime soon.
"So," the lord sneered, stalking over to his son. Keefe knew that Cassius would not be happy with him witnessing Gisela have power over him. This was going to be bad, worse than usual. "How much did you hear?"
"Not much," Keefe lied, molding his emotions to match. "I only just got home."
"From where." It was an order, not a question. Cassius grabbed Keefe's wrist to read his emotions.
"From Everglen." If Keefe told his father about the meadow, his sanctuary would disappear. So he thought about all the times he had gone to Everglen, convincing his emotions that he had come from the Vacker's.
"Liar," Cassius breathed, his glare cutting through Keefe. He glanced down at the wrist he still gripped, and Keefe realized-
He hadn't been reading his son's emotions. He had been taking his pulse. He had felt the three skipped beats that always came when empaths lied.
Keefe swore under his breath.
"Watch your mouth, boy," Cassius hissed. Gisela started forward, but Cassius threw out a hand without looking behind him, halting her. He stopped, her eyes burning with anger. "Now tell me... where were you?"
Keefe sighed, using the pause to come up with a lie that wasn't technically lying. "I was at Havenfield." That was true. He had been at Havenfield, so his pulse and emotions should hold steady...
To his relief, Cassius let out a disappointed huff of breath and dropped his wrist, allowing his son to take a step back. Keefe's eyes darted around the room, looking for possible escapes. He could try to get to the vortinator, but his father was blocking it, with Gisela behind him. The door behind him was open, but he would still be stuck at Candleshade until he could get to the leapmaster. There was the kitchen door, and the door beyond that led to one of the sitting rooms. Keefe almost smiled, but remembered where he was and kept his head down.
If this worked, his father would be very, very, very angry... but Keefe would be gone to the leapmaster first. Gisela caught his eye and gave him a slight nod, as though she knew what he was planning. Tears almost welled up at his mother's support- until he realized that she was probably just telling him to wait until his father was done. Anger swelled, and Keefe trained his eyes on a spot on the wall across from the kitchen door.
"What is that?" He gasped, playing the oldest, stupidest joke in history, and hope hope hoping it would be enough...
Cassius turned to look, and Keefe bolted from his spot as quietly as he could, hoping to be gone before his dad realized what had happened.
No such luck. Of course, when had Keefe ever been lucky before?
Cassius immediately swiveled back, and spotted Keefe hightailing it outta there, to the kitchen door. The lord growled and jogged after him, through the kitchen door.
Keefe pumped his arms to create the illusion that he was running quickly, although he was slowing down to let his father stay close behind him. The door to the sitting room was closer, closer...
Keefe jumped through the doorway, and made it a good distance before turning to watch the fun.
Cassius appeared through the doorway, reached, reaching-
And caught his foot on the trip wire Keefe had tied there that very morning, intending to catch him on his way out of the kitchen with his usual evening fizzleberry wine.
Keefe had planned to be up in his room when Cassius caught the wire, ready to run to the leapmaster and leap away.
Oh well, at least he got to see it now.
The expensive, white-pressed clothes that Cassius was wearing were doused in Keefe's best fart bomb, stinking up the room with an invisible fog of smelliness. Keefe coughed from the smell, even though he'd already plugged his nose. He almost burst out laughing at the look on his dad's face, especially when he triggered the finishing touch and his hair burst into neon green curls.
The murderous look on his father's face made Keefe actually run this time, sprinting to the vortinator to head for the leapmaster, he made it to the crystals and shouted, "Everglen!" just as he saw Cassius appear at the top of the vortinator, face red and lungs heaving with anger.
"Stop!" was all Keefe heard before the world glittered away and he rematerialized in front of the glowing gates.
...
Keefe immediately turned away from the entrance to Everglen, not wanting to see any of the Vackers. He'd only come here so his father wouldn't know where the meadow was... but where would he go now?
He would have to face Lord Cassius eventually; he couldn't stay away forever. Especially since it was getting late anyway, and soon it would be completely dark, judging by the deepening shadows. Luckily, Cassius wouldn't follow him; he wouldn't dare fight out of the privacy of their home.
When he did go home, though, Cassius would always be there, anger flowing from every inch, every pore.
Keefe didn't even want to think about the match fail his mother would be applying for soon, most likely.
Why was his life like this?
He groaned, slumping against a tree as he tore a hand through his hair.
What a mess.
He didn't know how long it was before he felt a cold hand on his shoulder.
Cold- her hands were always cold. As though she had no warmth in her heart and her very blood.
"Keefe," His mother said softly. "Come on."
Keefe shook off her hand. "What do you want?"
"I want you to come back to Candleshade." Not home. Candleshade wasn't home, not for any of them.
"Why? Why now? Why do you try to help me now? It's a little too late for that!" Keefe snapped. He didn't remember getting to his feet, but suddenly he was at eye level with her.
He was a little taller than she was. He'd never noticed it before.
"Keefe, if someone sees you, they'll start talking. Come on!" Gisela made no move to touch him as she held her pathfinder to the quickly fading light.
Keefe snorted. Of course, she cared about people seeing them. Gossip. But he allowed himself to raise his hand and loosely grip her cold fingers, letting her leap him back to Candleshade.
As soon as they materialized, he dropped her hand and turned towards the house.
Gisela made no move to stop him, to talk to him, to comfort him as he strode to the tower.
As he walked away from her, as she stood there, saying nothing as she always did, the last fragments of hope that he'd held onto throughout the years faded, fluttered away until there was only anger and disappointment and knowledge that however much he tried, his family would never love him.
....Wow
That was depressing-
Poor Keefe-
On the bright side, he gets better, happier! It may take a few chapters but it happens-