October 2005
Alex's Perspective
We were in the ER, waiting in the waiting room while Kaelyn got looked at. She wasn't completely sure what those dickheads had done to her, so she was getting everything checked out to make sure she was okay. Until they started taking her around to x-rays and MRI's and whatnot, I had been waiting in her room with her. The ER staff hadn't wanted me to since I wasn't family, but once Kaelyn had begged for me to stay and had assured them that I had nothing to do with what had happened to her, they let me wait with her.
Now her parents, my parents, Jack, Zack, Rian, Lisa, and Kara were all here. We'd been sitting for a bit, when Lisa put her hand on my arm.
"Can we talk?" She asked.
I nodded and cleared my throat. "Sure."
We got up and the guys raised their eyebrows at me. I just shrugged and followed Lisa down the hall.
"I know you blame yourself for this," she said.
"Well, yeah. I should've stopped it," I said.
"I feel the same way. I mean, I covered for her so many times, I let her give up on volleyball. I feel like it was my fault too," she said.
I pulled her into a hug, tucking my chin against the top of her head. "I know."
She pulled back from me. "I know you like her."
"I...no I don't," I said, but my mouth had gone dry and the words felt like rocks in my throat.
"You can deny it all you want, and Kaelyn might not see it, but I do. So do the guys. You haven't been great at hiding it and I know you at least told Jack," she said.
I put my face in my hands. "I just...I just don't know what to do. I'm so afraid of losing her."
She put an arm around me and rubbed my back. "I know. You don't have to figure that out tonight, and you should definitely wait until Kae gets through all of this, but don't wait too long."
I nodded, feeling numb. "We should get back."
She nodded and we went back to the waiting area. I refused to look at the other guys because I couldn't get into what Lis and I had talked about.
--
Zack's Perspective
I was sick with worry about Kae. Over the last few months, I'd developed a bit of a crush on her. It felt wrong. She was with Brandon, and Alex also had feelings for her. He'd told me all about it once when we were at a party and he was drunk. Somehow, he remembered what he'd said the next morning and had asked me not to say anything.
I could never tell Kaelyn's feelings for Alex. When we'd first gotten the band together, I thought maybe she felt that way about him, but then she set him up with Lisa. Still, they were always clinging to each other. They looked at each other like they were the only two people in the room. And God, they fought like an old married couple.
When Kaelyn got serious with Brandon, she started making excuses not to hang around anymore. We could tell that it hurt Alex, but he'd tried and failed to get through to her.
I just hoped it wasn't too late for me to have a chance with Kaelyn. As fucked up as it was for me to think about at a time like this, I couldn't help it.
I know it probably looked bad when I hung back while the other guys took care of her, but I couldn't get up close to her. I couldn't bear to see her like that, and I was terrified that I might scare her.
—
Alex's Perspective
Pretty soon, the doctor came out. "Mr. and Mrs. Miller?" Kae's parents stood up. They both looked exhausted and terrified and my heart hurt for them. "Come with me."
The doctor took them somewhere, for what felt like ages, then they came back to fill us in.
"She's okay," Kae's mom said. "She has some internal bleeding, which they've gotten under control, two broken ribs, a sprained wrist, a broken nose, and quite a bit of bruising. But she's gonna pull through."
"That's so good," Rian said and we all nodded.
I could barely look at Kae's parents. Why hadn't I talked to them about this? They'd always been good to me, treated me like their son, let me come over whenever I wanted, let me walk through the front door like I lived there, but I'd failed to protect their daughter. I could probably come up with an excuse, but it wouldn't have justified it, not in a million years.
"And Alex?" Kaelyn's mom asked. I startled. Had she somehow read my thoughts? Did she know I had known all along?
"Yes?" I asked meekly.
"Kaelyn wants to see you," she said.
I nodded. "Thank you."
"They gave her some pain meds, so she might be a little out of it," her mom said.
I nodded again and headed towards the room, but Kaelyn's mom put her hand on my arm. I looked at her and she pulled me into a hug. At first, I went stiff from shock, but then I hugged her back. "You have always loved her and looked out for her. Thank you," she whispered. If only she knew.
I went back into Kae's room. Her face was bandaged and her wrist was in a purple cast. I could feel a smile curling up my lips at the fact that Kae had chosen her favorite color. I could already see the bruising those shitheads had caused her, but she still looked beautiful to me.
"Hey," she whispered.
"Hey," I whispered back. I went over to the bed and sat down in the chair, taking her good hand in mine. I kissed the back of it, pressing it to my face. "Kae, I'm so sorry. Oh god, I'm so fucking sorry," I said, my voice breaking.
"Why are you sorry?" She asked.
"I--I didn't do anything to stop it. All I did was give you crap for it when it wasn't your fault, not at all. He should've known better not to lay his hands on you," I said.
"I...I deserved it sometimes," she whispered.
I shook my head. "No you didn't. Okay? Get that outta your head right now. He was the one who had a problem. I just--I can't imagine ever wanting to hurt someone like you...the way he did."
"Jeez, Alex," she said.
"It's true," I said.
"Hey," she said.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"You're killing my hand," she said with a weak giggle.
I realized I still had her hand clasped to my face and quickly let it go, my face burning. "Sorry."
"No, I--I still want you to hold it," she whispered.
"Kay," I said, and took it again.
She drifted off to sleep shortly after that.
--
That night, I stayed in the hospital with Kaelyn. I had to charm the hospital staff and Kaelyn's parents into letting me, but I managed. The next day, the police came to talk to Kaelyn, so I had to wait in the hall.
As soon as they left, I came back in.
"What did you tell them?" I asked.
"Just that my boyfriend beat me up. I--I didn't say who it was and I asked my parents not to say anything either," she said.
I gaped at her. "Are you serious?"
"What? If I say who did it, there's just gonna be a long, drawn-out court case and my name's gonna be in all the papers and I don't want that, okay?" She said.
I took her good hand in mine. "I guess I understand that. I just wish you'd make them pay for what they did."
She smiled weakly. "I know. I'm sorry."
"For what?" I asked, frowning.
"For not doing what you wanted me to," she said.
That made my chest ache. "Kaelyn, it's okay. I love you and I'll still love you, regardless of what you choose to do."
"Thanks, Alex," she said.
I kissed her forehead. "You're welcome."
--
All I wanted was to stay in the hospital with Kaelyn. At night, I'd sing her to sleep and made sure to go get the nurses whenever she needed anything. During the day, I played her songs on my guitar, played cards with her, told her stupid jokes, anything to keep her laughing and smiling. The others had come to visit quite a bit, but I was the only one who had spent most of the weekend there.
But my parents put their foot down about school. I had to go back Monday, and since Kaelyn was still in the hospital, I had to leave her there. That morning, I saw Brandon in the hall with his friends, laughing like everything was fine.
I strode up to him and shoved him up against the lockers. The crowd parted to give us space, but plenty of people crowded around to watch.
"Get your hands off me, Gasbreath," he snapped.
"If you ever go near Kaelyn again, if you ever speak to her, I swear to God I will fucking make you pay," I growled through my teeth, kneeing him in the balls.
I let him go and stalked off, in case he decided to try anything with me, making sure to weave in between crowds so it was harder to get to me.