After taking a little rest, they all decided to go eat lunch at some restaurant nearby. Khushi waited for them outside after getting ready while the rest of them seemed to be taking forever to get ready.
She leaned against a tree and stood there silently staring at the sky and wondering how her life had changed so much in the past couple years.
Once Arnav was ready, he headed out of the room but stopped at the door when he saw Khushi standing outside all alone. A part of him wanted to go stand beside her and talk to her, but a part of him just felt guilty for everything he had done to her so far.
She looked really sad even on a holiday, he had messed up with her innocence so much hadn't he? He felt really terrible for hurting her so much, only if there was a way he could make things better, take her pain away. He had tried so much but nothing really seemed to help.
She looked down at the floor as a few tear drops fell off her eyes and just seeing her in so much pain made him feel so hurt. He was never going to be able to forgive himself for what he had done to her.
Zakhm maine diye usko kitne magar usko hontom pe uff tak na aayi...
Dil se uthata hai kyu dard banke dhuwan, baat meri samajh me na aayi...
He turned around and leaned against the wall as tears ran down his eyes too. For a moment, he couldn't even believe it, was it possible that someone else's pain could cause him so much pain that it made him cry?
Mujhe kyun rulaye uska kuch na bolna... tere sang pyaar main, nahi todna...
Chahe tere peeche jag pade chorna... tere sang pyaar main nahi todna...
He heard Tara and Rohan's voice so he quickly wiped off his tears and tried to pretend like everything was okay even though nothing was, not anymore.
"Hey... Where's Khushi?" Rohan asked.
"I think she's outside." Arnav replied, they all walked outside and found her waiting there for them.
"You okay?" Rohan looked at her worriedly.
"Yeah." She smiled, it was such a beautiful fake smile, anyone could believe that she was actually okay, even though she wasn't.
"Great, let's go eat then." Rohan said excitedly as he put his arm around her shoulders and they all walked away. He was glad that if nothing else, Khushi had Rohan in her life, he was always going to make sure she was okay.
Sometimes, we all need a friend like Rohan in our lives, Khushi had her Rohan, Arnav dint, maybe that's why it was way difficult for him to handle this pain, because he had no one to talk to. He had only Anjali and she left, now he was all alone, getting punished for the things he had done in the past. Karma was real, he had hurt Khushi and now he was hurt too.
*****
After having their lunch, they all decided to go and chill at the beach for a while, Rohan and Tara decided to go for a walk around the beach and talk about things, Tara wanted to sort things between them so they could start a fresh as friends and see where it goes and for that, they needed to talk first and a walk at the beach was a perfect excuse for that.
Khushi sat down near the water as she played with sand, Arnav kept on standing a bit further from her until he decided it was enough of ignoring each other already, he didn't want to ruin this trip and for that he had to cheer Khushi and himself up a bit so he walked towards her and sat down beside her.
"Hey." He smiled at her faintly.
"Hey." She looked at him in confusion wondering why he was talking to her suddenly after ignoring her for a while now.
"Can we talk?" He asked.
"About what?"
"About us and whatever this thing is that's going on between us. Look Khushi, I asked for these seven days so I could make things better for you, to show you that even though I was so horrible to you, you dint deserve to be treated like that, it was just my way of saying sorry to you.
My only intention was to make things better for you and not make them worse, but it looks like every time I walk back into your life, I just bring along sadness and I don't want that for you. I am really sorry Khushi, I just wanted to make things better." He looked at her sadly.
"If you wanted to make things better, why did you almost kiss me Arnav?"
"It was nothing, please don't think about it."
"That's the problem Arnav... I can't stop thinking about it, because like you said, it was nothing to you. You know what that means to me? When we got married, I always thought that it was love, when you touched me, kissed me, made love to me, it was always love for me but you know how I felt when I realized that it wasn't same for you?
You dint love me Arnav, you never did. It was just lust and hate mixed together, and it just... that kiss that didn't happen reminded me of it all and it makes me wonder, why would even try to kiss me now. Is that lust still there? Despite the fact that everything is clear between us now?
I am done feeling like a toy to you okay, I am a human being, I have feelings, I feel hurt and just because I am trying to be friends with you here doesn't mean you can still hurt me Arnav. I got weak in that moment because I love you, but what about you, what's your excuse? She asked angrily.
"I don't have an excuse Khushi." Arnav shrugged. He wished he could tell her that he did that because he was in love with her too, but maybe she dint want to know it, also what was it going to change whether he loved her or not now, it was just cause her more pain and he dint want to hurt her any more than he already had.
"That's the problem you see Arnav, I am just so weak with you, I love you like stupid so I let you hurt me and you do it. You hurt me every freaking time!" She said with tears in her eyes.
"I am sorry Khushi." He apologized, he was just trying to make things better, they got worse instead.
"What will your sorry change Arnav, it wont change the fact that you still look at me like I sell my body for money would it?"
"I don't look at you that way anymore Khushi."
"You do, that's why you tried to kiss me!" She said angrily as she stood up wanting to leave, she hated feeling this way and whenever she looked at him, that's how she felt.
"I tried that because I love you Khushi!" He almost screamed as he stood up trying to rush behind her so she wouldn't just leave like that, it wouldn't solve anything if they started a conversation and dint finish. Wow Arnav, so much of trying not to tell her already.
"You what?" She looked at him in shock with both her eyes wide open.
"Nothing. Forget I said that. I just wanted you to know that I don't look at you that way anymore, I did in the past and you know why, but things have changed. My intention wasn't to tell you about my feelings, I just did so you wouldn't feel like I did whatever I did with any wrong intention.
I know this isn't going to change anything and I am okay with it, I just dint want it to burden you or anything, I'm really sorry Khushi. I really am, please believe me. I am so sorry." He fell down on his knees and looked at her like he was literally begging for her forgiveness.
Khushi kept on staring at him in shock silently, she dint even have anything to say, all she wondered was, what was the point of all this now? After everything was already ruined.
"Why Arnav? Why now?" She looked at him in defeat.
"Because before that, even though my heart was drawn towards you, I forced myself to hate you, I dint like the idea of having feelings for the girl that slept with my father. I know it's not the truth, but that was the truth for me then Khushi.
"What am I supposed to do in this situation Arnav?"
"What would you have done if you were in my position Khushi?"
"I wouldn't get married to someone I hated Arnav, and if I had to, I wouldn't treat you like you treated me. Fine you thought I slept with your father and it was okay to hate me, but it was never okay to do what you did to me, and for that, I'll never be able to forgive you." Khushi wiped her tears off.
"This trip was supposed to be fun Khushi, it was supposed to be a reminder of our friendship, but everything is ruined now." Arnav said.
"And who are we to blame for this Arnav?" she asked, Arnav just looked at her sadly having no answer to her questions anymore. Maybe he shouldn't have asked for these seven days, he asked for it hoping to make things better for her not worse.
Khushi shrugged as he walked away from him leaving him still on his knees, she did feel bad for him, but she felt bad for herself too. She had already hurt herself enough times by choosing him over herself, today she was going to choose herself, despite knowing he was hurt, because she was hurt too.
Once she had walked further enough to be away from him, she sat down silently again as everything flashed before her. He said he loved her. She really wanted to be happy about it, dance about it, and act crazily, and if he had said he loved her before, she would have done that, but now... there was nothing to be happy about. Her fairytale had already been ruined, her innocent dreams had been shattered and nothing was ever going to make that okay, not even Arnav's love.