(Writer: TheUnitedFandomOf1D, Editors: Amithisia , anakinpadmeforlife)
Padmé was sitting on the bed, her mind kept swirling around her conversation with Anakin, replaying it in her mind. Why did he always behave like that? Anakin always overreacted when it came to other men around her, Padmé just couldn't understand him, didn't she prove her unconditional love to him when she married him? She had known from the beginning that it was against the Jedi Code and she had been fully aware that their feelings could have fatal consequences for both of them. Frustrated Padmé got up and started to move around their bedroom full of resentment, Anakin knew how important her duty was to her, she was endangering her career every day and she also accepted that they lived a secret without anyone ever knowing. For instance she had always wanted to have a great wedding with her whole family being present, but Padmé knew that such a ceremony had been impossible. She also had not cared then; she always thought that their love would be enough. She would have the love of her life always beside her after all and that was just the prize she... they would have to pay and Padmé Amidala had willingly done so and with a life lasting promise she had married Anakin Skywalker. So wasn't that proof enough? She asked herself. Padmé wished she could return to the first months of their marriage, things had been much simpler then, she had been so happy at the beginning because they had lived in their own little bubble with just their undying love for each other and nothing else. Of course they would have fights like every couple, but the most ones, which had also been the worst, had always been about other men. He would lose his mind when she just stated that she had to go to a meeting because of political arrangements or he would just see her talking alone to a man at an what he would call "inappropriate" time and would assume things, especially when he was at home, wanting to spend time with her, and Anakin would request or even demand her whole time, if it was up to him she would just be occupied with him and nothing or no one else interrupting or disturbing them. Padmé rubbed her forehead stressed at all this unnecessary drama, why couldn't he just trust her, and why did he have the need to argue with her on his first day being home. Padmé sighed and let herself sink into the bed, it was just a matter of minutes till Anakin would come in, she just knew him too well.
As if he had sensed her thoughts he entered the room with a stern look on his face, Padmé knew that Anakin tried to hold a calm expression, but he failed completely. His blue eyes were glimmering icly and were staring at her coldy, she could see that he was trying hard to control his anger, but he was clenching his jaw and fists. Padmé straightened up and walked over to the other side of the room, she could feel his gaze upon her following her every move. She was just looking wordlessly at him, they just stared at each other for a short time, neither looking away, but keeping steady eye-contact, Padmé was well aware that Anakin was sure that she would be the first one to look away and she had done the exact thing many times in the past because she hated fighting with him and always treasured their rare moments, but this time she would not give in. She had to prove a point, they couldn't go on like this arguing about one thing over and over again. Padmé had hoped that he would change or just improve since the incident with Clovis, but clearly he had not, his jealousy was just getting worse to the point of often being suffocating. Padmé exhaled deeply, they were being childish, but she was sure that Anakin would not take his stare away without Padmé being the one stopping this silly game. It then surprised her all the more when he crossed his arms and began to speak up:
"This Palo guy seems to be very important to you, if you are standing your ground so much," he spoke almost mockingly, as Padmé wanted to start her response to his audacity, he raised his arm to stop her: "Do not tire yourself, I know you are just going to say: 'Anakin how can you even say that, you are just overreacting, why don't you trust me?' Wasn't that what you were going to say? Huh?, you were just going to hold a well prepared speech, but let me tell you something: You are not at the Senate, you are at home with your husband, just because I am not all the time here does not mean that when we are having a fight you can tell me to leave just to have me come back here, to your carefully written speech. Isn't that right Senator Amidala?" Shocked, Padmé looked at him, his tone was just chilling and he just smirked at her, but not that kind that always managed to make her stomach flutter with butterflies, instead it was cold and somehow even vicious. Padmé shuddered, she knew if she stayed in the same room as him their fight would turn into a huge screaming match, determined she decided to leave, as she started to move past him he blocked her way.
Looking up at him Padmé said: "Move! I wanna leave", as he stood motionless in front of her Padmé groaned out loud: " Anakin! Get out of my way", because he continued to just stand there she started to bypass him. "You can be so immature!" She muttered. As soon as she heard him growl, she felt his arm yanking her back to him. Anakin's eyes were blazing with fury.
"We are not finished talking!" Padmé struggled to get out of his grasp, she hated it that he could always overpower her with barely an effort at all.
"What's the matter with you Anakin? You enter, then continue to just stare at me and then if that isn't quite enough you just wanna keep fighting, so excuse me if I don't want to continue this so exciting conversation with you," Padmé responded. "Let me go Anakin! "For a single second Padmé thought she saw Anakin getting scared at her words, but the moment faded as soon as she saw his eyes blazing with anger. She started to pull her arm away from him, but he just tightened his grip and pulled her forward so that she collided with his chest.
"No!" He exclaimed "I am not letting you go! Ever! Did you hear me? Look at me Padmé while I am talking to you!" He yelled, Padmé flinched at his tone.
"Stop yelling at me!" She also started to raise her voice, still just focusing on his chest. "I am not gonna look at you because you tell me to! I told you to stop ordering me around, let me also again remind you: I am your wife not your tropper!"
"Why did you even come here if you are just gonna—" Anakin interrupted her by lifting her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes.
"I came here to talk about it," he uttered and began to stroke her cheek slowly. "I..I wanted us to make up and enjoy the day..." He began to look down "I am sorry..." Padmé felt herself beginning to relax, maybe he was becoming reasonable after all and they could forget their whole conflict.
"So you are please gonna stop this whole argument about the relationship between me and Palo?" She pleaded. The apologetic Anakin disappeared as soon as she spoke.
"Relationship? So you are acknowledging that there is a connection?" He was fuming now "You are practically saying that you see yourself with him as an 'us'!" Hearing this Padmé immediately pushed him away.
"Are you being serious right now?" She realized that she was also being loud now, and she normally never lost her temper, but sometimes when Anakin crossed the line she couldn't help it. "Here I thought for a second that you had come to your senses, that you realized how wrong you were because you also were starting to apologize, but not even after Clovis—"
"Don't remind me of that traitor, he was a serpent and nothing more," Anakin roared now, stepping forward. "And don't you dare tell me that it is normal for your ex-boyfriend to paint a portrait of you where you look like a—"
He started to exhale as Padmé gasped. "Did you really almost call me—"
"What I am trying to say is that it is weird that he did it, and you look inappropriate in that painting," he interrupted her again.
Padmé laughed humorlessly, "You are being ridiculous! We were twelve!" She was practically screaming now. "There was nothing inappropriate or deep about that relationship if you even can call it that." She began to massage her temples. "Anakin, please let's stop this, how many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to worry about other men, he just needed help with—"
"With what? Finding a perfect wife maybe. I don't give a damn if you were twelve, he still drew you like that! And—"
"Maybe it is your paranoia that looked that way at the painting and I just tried to tell you why I met him!" She defended herself.
"Don't interrupt me!" He screamed moving closer to her. "How did he even know how you exactly looked? Maybe because he was always watching you!" He was waving with his hands around now. "I am trying to give you an opportunity here and I am being nice, but I am losing my patience!" What patience was he even talking about? Padmé just sighed out loud and buried her face into her hands. "Will you listen to me? I am trying to be rational with you, but you just don't seem to be interested." Padmé just shook her head at his wrongness. "Maybe you have met with him before and even posed for him. That is why he knew how to paint you." He was breathing heavily now and his shoulders were shaking. "It all makes sense now, maybe that is the reason why you so often don't have time for me, lucky me that came home unannounced and was able to see it, you were probably gonna hide it and—"
"Stop! That is enough!" Padmé shouted "How can you even suggest that I would do such things, I can't believe you..." Her voice was shaking now. "You have not a single right to lecture me about other men, you know that you were my first real relationship and I have always been honest to you!" Anakin was just staring at her now. "How can you be so cruel, when you are the one that appeared with that Princess on the Holonet, who was implying so many things that you would call inappropriate, and I didn't even plan on telling you how it made me feel because..." Her voice was breaking now. Anakin came towards her, wanting to pull her into his arms, but she held her arms up. "Don't, don't touch me."
Anakin's eyes darkened. "Do you really think that I would cheat on you? You are being absurd, that thought would never come to my mind. I thought you trusted me, I am risking so much for you and you don't even see that, I don't know what surprises me more—"
"I am risking my career too! I also always dreamed of a wedding with my whole family beside me, instead I am being isolated with no one knowing about my marriage, but I didn't mind because I love you so much, how can't you see that!"
Anakin just scoffed, "So it is my fault you didn't tell your family then, don't try to push this on me!"
"I did it to protect you!" Padmé exclaimed. "And also you still haven't clarified what happened with the Princess, she was constantly touching you up and down and she was talking about your so many talents!"
He again scowled, "What is there to clarify? I mean I have all those talents—What are you looking at me like that? You know it is true" He was rolling his eyes now. "Of course she didn't get to experience them, for Force's sake! She just saw me making tricks with the force, she must have said these things because she was interested in me, before proceeding to make a move on me. I rejected her of course." He exhaled "I never thought that I would need to explain such things to you, that you would be once like that, I—".
"Anakin, please" Padmé interrupted "I have always trusted you, you are the one who doesn't believe in our marriage acting like that. I am just so exhausted from our fighting."
"Do you think I wanna keep fighting? I just hate how we were talking about Palo..." he practically spit his name out. "And you turn this whole thing around and try to talk about the damn Princess! You should know that I love you, don't pin everything on me!" He continued.
"Anakin, please this month is gonna be unbearable if—"
"What did you just say?!" he shouted.
"Anakin, I am just trying to say—"
"No, it is obvious that you don't want me here, you care more about your ex-boyfriend then your husband and his feelings, congratulations Angel." He began to clap. "Don't worry, I'll grant your wish." Anakin started to move towards the door.
"Ani, wait," Padmé tried to take his arm, but he pulled it away.
"I am leaving, don't expect me tonight." He glared one last time at her and slammed the door behind him. Padmé let herself fall backwards on the bed. How did the day start so wonderfully, just to end up like this?
Padmé woke up to screams beside her, she immediately sat up in shock and turned. She was stunned by the sight in front of her: Anakin was tossing around, mumbling words to himself, his whole upper body was shining from all the sweat. He must have lied about not coming back, and returned once she'd fallen asleep. She reached out with her hand and pushed the sweaty curls back from his face. Another nightmare, she had to sooth him quickly before it got worse. Anakin screamed loudly again making Padmé flinch, she leaned down and put her arms around him. "Ani, Ani wake up it's okay I am here," she whispered.
Anakin shouted and sat up, breathing heavily now "Padmé?" he spoke with a rough voice. "I had a nightmare, it was about my mother, I couldn't save her again—" His voice broke, "I..I..I am so useless—"
"Shhh... that is not true, you are far from being useless Ani," Padmé consoled. "You are always there for me, and you saved me countless times I wouldn't even know what to do without you. I don't want you to ever say or even think that again. Alright?" She moved closer to Anakin, putting her head on his chest, he also started to wrap his arms around her waist, hugging her closely. He exhaled as if something heavy had been lifted off his chest. He just then continued to stare at the ceiling, Padmé knew that he needed his own time to think, but she wanted to help him so badly.
"Anakin?" Padmé asked softly.
"Yes, Angel" he responded.
"Do you wanna talk about it? It can really make you feel better," she tried to convince him.
"No, I really just want to forget all about it" he answered with a hint of panic, as if the sole thought about the nightmare would send him back there.
"But Anakin—" she protested.
"Padmé please," Anakin pleaded.
Padmé sighed, but then nodded. "Of course, but if you need to—"
"I know, Padmé... I am so sorry about today," he continued. "I behaved like a total fool and I was very unfair to you, I shouldn't have made fun of your concerns that you had about the Princess, instead I should have taken your feelings seriously." He swallowed hard. "I apologize for ruining our day and—"
"It is okay Ani," Padmé intervened. "Today was a hard day, I also shouldn't have overreacted when you first asked me about the painting, I should have just calmly explained everything, I apologize for that."
Anakin smiled widely down at her. "I accept your apology, if you accept mine Angel." Now it was Padmé's turn to smile.
"Of course I do."
"Then I do too," Anakin responded. Padmé sighed out of relief.
"Ani, I am so glad everything got cleared up."
"Me too, Angel," Anakin leaned down, starting to kiss her,as it deepend and got more passionately, he began to roll Padmé onto her back "Let me show you how glad I am." He whispered, Padmé gasped as he moved lower, placing gentle kisses all over her neck. They had now the rest of the night to themselves, without wasting a single thought on the previous events.
Anakin woke up as Padmé started trying to get out of bed, confused he tightened his grip, pulling her by her hips closer to him. "Padmé, what are you doing?" His voice was still hoarse from sleeping.
"Ani, I am getting up, I need to get ready."
"What do you mean?" He was getting irritated now. "You have to leave much later today, we have the whole morning and afternoon." He hugged her closer. "It will be fun, we can eat in bed and watch a holo-movie." He was getting excited now, it had been too long since they had a whole day to themselves, except for yesterday, but the whole day had gone totally wrong, except for the ending of course. Anakin smirked, replaying the previous night, maybe they could continue this morning, and then they could relax for the rest of their time. Anakin snuggled Padmé. "I have a wonderful idea how to start this day..." He pressed a kiss on her shoulder. "Just the two of us."
"I would love to Ani, but I really have to go." she responded sadly, but what did she mean? He had even checked her schedule, she wasn't supposed to go to the Senate, what was then more important than spending time with him, her husband. He had been away for so long and she just wanted to leave?
Anakin felt himself seething with anger now. Padmé was now trying to pull his hands away from her, but he just pulled her closer, now more determined than ever to have her staying home with him. Padmé, now confused, turned around to face him.
"What's wrong Ani?" She couldn't seriously be asking him that.
"Are you making fun of me?"
"What? Of course not, what do you mean?"
"I even checked your kriffing schedule Padmé, you don't have any meetings, so where are you going?" He could see that Padmé was getting nervous and was avoiding eye-contact "Just a meeting I planned yesterday, I didn't have time to put it into my schedule... so can you please let me go?"
Anakin completely ignored her. "Can't you delay it? I wanted to spend the whole day with you, don't you want to spend time with me?"
"Of course I do Anakin," she tried to reassure him, but he wasn't having it, always the Senate, her duty, couldn't she just forget politics for a moment, for him?
"I've just come back and your politics are again more important than me, you are just unbelievable!"
"You know that isn't true, you are very important to me, but I have to go, it won't take long, alright?" she tried to sooth him, he just grumbled. "Come on Ani, don't fight with me again, I will soon come back and then we'll have the whole evening to ourselves, we'll do whatever you want."
"Fine," Anakin gave in. "But I decide what we do, and when we do it, Alright?"
"Yes, that sounds wonderful," she reached up to him and gave him a quick peck. Letting her go, Padmé got up and started to move towards her closet to get dressed. Anakin sat up watching her.
After some time she came out, looking stunning as always, wearing her typical Senate clothing which relieved Anakin. That meant she didn't want to impress anyone. Stop it! He lectured himself, they fought yesterday and she still calmed him after his nightmare and worried about him. Padmé was perfect, how could he possibly doubt her love for even a second?
After she left, Anakin smiled widely to himself—the fact she wouldn't be here for some time would play into his cards, that way he could plan her great surprise in peace.
Sorry for the long wait, we hope that the longer chapter makes up for it <3
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