C H A P T E R T H I R T Y - F O U R
"THE HELLFIRE CLUB"
OVER 8000 WORDS !
I'M SO SORRY I LEFT YALL FOR SO LONG!
i hope this 8000 word chapter makes up for it a bit.. :)
| D E C E M B E R 27th , 1986 |
H a w k i n s , I n d i a n a
SHE FOUND IT HARD TO BREATHE, she found it hard to talk at all. She saw nothing but darkness surround her, and the chills that ran down her body told her something that made her realize exactly where she was.
She was back in the upside down, and it was only confirmed when she felt a presence behind her. A great, dark, evil presence that always seemed to loom around her now.
Her panicked breaths quickening as she stiffly turned around, her fists clenched at her sides while she prepared to face her ghosts.
And as she looked up, she was faced with an eerie shadow, his faceless head sending chills down her spine as she watched the mind flayer stare her down. She knew it was looking at her.
She always felt his presence, and it scared the hell out of her. But her thoughts were interrupted by the shadow itself.
She suddenly felt his dark essence enter her, spreading his power throughout her being as she found images flash through her mind.
She was back. She was back where it happened.
She was in the upside down once again, standing in the very place that she felt it happen.
Right before Brenner fired the gun at her, she felt this unexplainable source of dark power enter her, branching and threading its terrible vines throughout every part of herself.
It was dark. It was taking over her more every second she stood there, and for a moment her eyes flashed black before she realized what had happened.
The Mind Flayer hadn't 'flayed' her like he did with the townspeople last time.
No, he made Y/N become him.
It was as if he were explaining this to her, she could feel everything explaining itself.
It was as if he were trying to explain what he did.
He implanted half of his very essence for her to become, using his power in that moment before Brenner shot her. In the life of death situation, The Mind Flayer gave all of his power.
It almost felt like vines as they spread and intertwined themselves with every square inch of her body, making it virtually impossible to tell where she began, and where the mind flayer ended.
He had been trying to be rid of this small population, particularly this small group of teenagers who continually foil all his plans.
But that was not the route he was taking this time. He figured, if he can't kill them, he will use them.
And Y/N was the most powerful source of internal abilities that he's ever encountered. He couldn't kill her, so he's using her instead.
This new information made no sense, until it did.
Y/N's eyes widened as she realized what all this meant.
She's his back-up plan. She isn't 'flayed' by him, she is him.
She would be the ideal candidate for it.
She can sustain a great health for herself and him outside the upside down, so the gate doesn't have to be open for him to control things. She has abilities that she hasn't even uncovered yet.
It would also explain why El lost her powers in the Battle of Starcourt- because of that small part of himself that he implanted in her leg. It took away her power for his own self that way, making hers become dormant.
Which was why when she touched the gate for the first time in months, her powers returned. Because like Y/N and Hopper, she draws her power from the Upside Down.
All this was too overwhelming to Y/N. What did this all have to do with her? What did this mean? Why her?
The mind flayer used her body almost like a vessel, inhabiting every fiber of her being. Her mind, her body, her soul.
Y/N's realities were merging, and pretty soon, she wouldn't be able to decipher what was real, and what was in her mind.
She wouldn't be able to distinguish the line that separated her animalistic side, from her human side. Or where his essence ended and herself began.
She felt herself beginning to panic, breathing heavier as she couldn't seem to escape her own mind.
She was trapped in her own conscious with the mind flayer who made her share it, and now, she couldn't find a way out.
Until she heard a voice.
"You have to wake up, Y/N." The voice spoke, "You don't have a choice here."
The voice seemed distant, as if it were coming from far away. From the outside. And it was so familiar.
"Who am I gonna call every night? To talk about everything we did that day.."
The voice struck so many memories inside her, making images of her childhood flash through her mind once again.
"And you loved me.. even though I never saw you."
Y/N was so discombobulated , she was so frightened, that she couldn't clear her mind enough to focus on the voice.
Until she heard it speak again. "I'm in love with you."
But it was with that sentence that she knew exactly who it was, his voice suddenly reaching out to her underneath the waves of her drowning mind.
She willed herself to move, trying to move her hands or fingers in any way possible.
She shook herself as best she could from the grip that the Mind Flayer had over her mind, reaching out for anything to pull herself out of the pits.
And she felt something.
She felt a hand in hers, and by god she grabbed hold of that hand with all that she had, and she pulled herself out of the dark of her mind.
She pulled herself away from the grip that the Mind Flayer had on her mind.
And the dark cleared away as her eyes shot open, the light filling them once again.
She found herself breathing heavily as if she woke up from an intense nightmare.
"Y/N.."
She stared up at the ceiling, her eyes adjusting to the natural light coming in from her open window.
She turned her head slowly to see the source of the light from outside, the trees of the forest surrounding her giving her a sense of comfort.
"Y/N..?"
Her head throbbed with a pain that she'd never felt before, and a dull ringing in her ears, wincing as she turned her head once again to face her gaze at the ceiling.
"Y/N.."
The ceiling looked familiar, as if she spent her entire life waking up to this ceiling above her.
It was because she had. She was in her own room, on her own bed, in her own clothes, all for the first time in months. She was home.
"Y/N, can you hear me?"
She allowed her eyes to wander her room, and it was here that she saw a blurred figure at her bedside.
The ringing in her ears subdued, allowing her to hear the voice that had been calling her name for the past minute since she woke up.
"Y/N!"
Y/N's eyes widened at the blurry figure's sudden appearance, retracting her hand that was holding the figure's own hand.
She sat up against the headboard of her bed, moving away from the blurry outline of a person.
Her breathing quickening as her eyes adjusted after not working for a few days, squinting as the figure began to clear up a bit.
"It's just me. It's Mike, it's okay, it's okay." The figure reached out to attempt to comfort Y/N, only to have her flinch at the attempt.
Her eyes were teary and a bit tired, and Mike knew she had to be weary.
She squinted her eyes a bit, seeing the figure clear up to reveal the teenager's surprised face, his eyes wide and glossy with hope. The same eyes she fell in love with after all these years.
It was Mike.
Her breathing shuttered as it slowed a bit, allowing herself to calm down from her attack.
"Thank god, you're okay." He smiled happily, his own breathing settling as he saw the look of recognition on her face. His hair was longer, no longer a bowl-cut. He looked the same, yet different and somehow more mature.
She blinked at him, her head hurting from sitting up too quickly, wincing as she looked down at her stomach.
She lifted the bottom of her shirt that someone had changed her into, revealing her torso wrapped in bandages all around.
There was the outline of blood beginning to seep through the cotton, making Y/N reach to trace it.
She had almost forgotten she had been shot.
"How long have I been out?" She muttered, her voice hoarse from not speaking in days.
She didn't look up from her stomach, but she could sense Mike's worried eyes on her gunshot wound before she quickly pulled her shirt over it again to hide it.
"A couple days.." He whispered sadly.
He reached to hold Y/N's hand again and press a kiss to her knuckles, only to have Y/N flinch her hand away from his touch out of a fearful reflex.
"Hey, hey, hey, it's me.." Mike whispered soothingly, attempting to calm Y/N like she used to calm him through his panic attacks. "It's okay, it's just me. It's Mike."
Y/N's eyes were tearful, her breathing shuttered as if she were cold, but was really just from the fear she felt racking through her body.
She was shot, barely clinging to life. She was practically half-monster. She wasn't human.
The mind flayer took over her consciousness, practically turning her into him; using her body as a vessel.
Who was she, now?
Mike didn't know what else to do to comfort her, so similarly like they used to do as kids, he climbed onto her bed next to her to scoop her into his arms, holding her close to his chest.
"It's okay, it's okay.." Mike whispered soothingly, stroking Y/N's short hair softly. "I'm right here."
Y/N leaned into his embrace, allowing her shuttering to calm itself as she laid against his chest. This is what they used to do when they were kids, calming each other down whenever they were scared or angry.
"You're okay.." Mike whispered again, his lips against her head as he pressed a kiss against her hair.
This just felt natural to them both. They used to do this as kids, so it felt so normal.
They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes as her breathing began to settle, and just like old times, this method of comfort worked.
"I still see it..the upside down, my experiments, everything." She whimpers into Mike's shirt, her eyes wide as she attempts to hold back her fears.
Mike furrowed his eyebrows a bit, "It's gonna be okay, you're safe now." He wondered what they did to her in that Russian facility, only knowing a brief amount because of what Hopper told him.
Would it be okay? Am I really safe? Y/N couldn't stop her thoughts.
She didn't think she'd ever be okay again. What she's done, what she's seen, and what she's become was all too much.
Although she had just woken up from a short coma, she couldn't help but feel both physically and emotionally exhausted. She glanced at the open window, the sun's early light pouring in.
But even that light didn't seem like enough.
She couldn't help but still fear the dark. The dark that enveloped her in the facility cell, in the upside down, and in her mind.
All the light in the world couldn't put out the dark running through her mind.
"Could you turn on my lamp?" She croaked, glancing over at her table side lamp on her nightstand.
"O-Oh, yeah sure." He reached to turn her lamp on, seeing the light not providing much more to her room.
"Thanks." Y/N's voice was weak and tired, yawning as she shifted in Mike's arms.
"Oh, are you tired? Here, I can just go hang out in the other room-.." Mike began to offer, not wanting to bother Y/N anymore than he had to.
"Mike?" Y/N stopped him from sliding out of her bed. "Could you just shut up and stay? Please.."
"Y-Yeah, sure. Of course." He returned to Y/N's side, having her snuggle up to his chest as he held his arms gently around her, careful of her wound.
Y/N was comforted by Mike's presence as her best friend, and that was all she needed. She didn't even bother to ask what had happened since she had been out, she just wanted a moment of peace.
When would be the next time she could get a moment of calm like this? She appreciated the silence he granted her, but even that didn't seem to last long.
It was nice and quiet for a change, but Y/N's telepathy could sense Mike's aura giving out a nervous sensation, as if he wanted to speak about something important but was afraid to. Damn right, just don't say it then.
"Y/N?" Mike spoke up, piercing the silence
Y/N so desperately wanted to keep.
Y/N sighed. "What?"
Mike hesitated for a moment, his thumb tracing circles on her shoulder absentmindedly, a common habit of his when they were kids.
"We need to talk." He spoke seriously, yet cautiously, as if he knew what the outcome of his claim was.
Y/N thought for a moment, realizing that he wanted to speak of their endeavors now. Of all times, he chose now.
"No."
Mike tensed, looking up at the ceiling. "Y/N-.."
"I said no, I don't want to talk about anything right now, so just drop it." Y/N declared, her voice was bold and strong despite her weak state.
She knew what he wanted to speak about, but she didn't want to hear it right now. It was too much too soon.
She just wanted to rest, and she didn't see how anything Mike had to say would keep her at rest.
But rest would have to wait, because it was then that she heard a knock on her door that was opened just a smidge.
"Hey Mike, how's she doing-.." The voice began before it opened the door to reveal her tired and restless father standing there. He looked exhausted, as if he hadn't slept.
His sentence cut itself off as he stared at his conscious daughter, awake and alive.
"Oh thank god.." He breathed, immediately striding across the room to round her bed to be at her side at once. He leaned down to hug her carefully, Y/N wrapping her arms tightly around her father.
She needed this more than ever, and to have her father here for her through everything, was more than enough.
Mike stood from her bed, his hands in his pockets as he watch Hopper embrace his daughter.
"Thank god.." Hopper murmured in Y/N's hair, his eyes watery as he held onto his daughter for dead life. He pulled away, cupping Y/N's face in his hands gently, "Are you alright? How are you feeling?"
Y/N shrugged, a tired smile on her lips as she was more than happy to see her father, but also just physically and emotionally exhausted. "Yeah, I think I'm doing pretty good for battling a psychopath and getting shot."
Hopper smiled at his daughter's humor, happy that she was slowly returning back to her usual self.
He stroked her short hair out of her face, kissing her forehead. He instantly embraced his daughter in another hug, feeling her holding onto him tightly. Just like she used to do when she was little.
He was just so happy his little girl was okay; he knew she would pull through.
"Jim, I told you to give them a minute-.." Joyce sighed as she walked through Y/N's door frame. Her sentence was cut short at the sight of Y/N awake.
And within seconds, Joyce was at her side as well, embracing her in a comforting hug. Y/N smiled as they pulled away, seeing Joyce stare back at her with grateful eyes.
She reached to hold her hands reassuringly, "Thank you so much..for saving our lives, for saving my life, for everything."
Y/N smiled wearily, nodding, "Y-You're welcome.." It had finally hit her that Y/N saved everyone, in more ways than one.
She saved lives, and that held such a power that boosted her morale.
"I have to tell the kids, they'll be so happy to hear you're alright." Joyce smiled, excusing herself for a moment to make the calls as well as wake Eleven up in the other room.
It wasn't long after she called, that all the kids had shown up at the cabin not twenty minutes later, including the older teens that drove them to the cabin.
Y/N smiled widely as everyone entered her room, talking to her all at once as they embraced her in hugs.
Everyone looked so different, older even. Yet they were the same.
Everyone thanked her like there was no tomorrow, making sure she knew how appreciated she was. Because she saved their lives.
The older teens joined, checking in and asking Y/N how she was feeling, and how she was doing. Y/N appreciated it all, feeling like everyone now understood what Hopper and
Y/N went through.
Billy finally properly thanked her for saving his life months ago at the Starcourt Mall, hoping that he did enough to help her know that he would return the favor.
Will was next after everyone else thanked her personally, Y/N smiling as she saw her brother-figure standing next to her.
Her and Hopper must have been gone longer than she thought, because his hair was shorter, as if he cut it. Thank god he got rid of that bowl-cut.
"Guess you really weren't joking being dramatic when you said that upside down place was hell.." Y/N joked, referring to when she got stuck as well as how Will did too.
Will chuckled, shaking his head. "Yeah, well it sounds like where you've been was worse than hell." He replied with a heavy tone, referring to Y/N's experiments in Russia.
Y/N smiled thinly, shrugging as she remembered all her experiments very vividly. They were horrifying, and she hoped she never had to feel that way ever again.
However, her worrying mind's thoughts were interrupted by Will leaning down to embrace his sister-figure in a hug, wrapping his arms gently around Y/N. "I missed you so much, you have no idea."
He pulled away with a smile, making Y/N roll her eyes playfully. "Yeah, I guess I missed you guys too."
The group then took it upon themselves to catch up on the latest events upon Y/N's arrival, catching up on everything that's happened since she and Hopper were gone.
"Yeah, and we started watching this awesome show called, 'Thundercats', you have to watch that with me, you'll love it." Dustin rambled, explaining the show to Y/N.
"Also, The Hellfire Club comics are killer, our party is practically the hellfire club. See, I even have the new shirt!"
Dustin exclaimed, revealing his white shirt underneath his flannel. "You can borrow my comics while you're healin' up!"
Y/N smiled gratefully at Dustin's enthusiasm, appreciating the efforts of the group to help her feel at ease.
"Oh please, the Wonderwoman Comics are way better!" Max exclaimed, nudging Eleven to agree with her. El stuttered before she actually paid attention, "Uh, yes. Better."
"No way Wonderwoman's better, yeah she's got mad powers, but that's nothing compared to The Hellfire club' has way more powers with more people!" Lucas chimed in, rebutting his girlfriend's claim.
"Yeah, Wonderwoman's powers are cool, but they're nothing Y/N can't do." Mike added, stepping out of his position from the back of the group with his hands in his pockets.
He wanted everyone to stop arguing to remember what they were here for. For Y/N.
Y/N blushed at this remark, partly because of the feeling of Mike's eyes set on her, or the feeling put on the spot.
This reminded everyone of the events of the battle, their questions they've been wondering were now unleashed.
"Man, you were a badass out there!" Dustin exclaimed, his eyes wide as he emphasized his words with his hands.
"What else can you do, you could do such cool things!" Max added, her eyes wide as if this were in one of her Wonderwoman comics.
"Well, she obviously has healing powers."
Can you fly? I bet you could, that would be awesome."
"Wonderwoman couldn't fly, could she?" Steve chimed in, asking himself with squinting eyes, not really into comics like everyone else was.
"Of course she could, you dingus!" Robin defended, "You should know since the actress is the new cover of Farrah Fawcett's spray commercial."
Billy snickered at this, along with the rest of the group who laughed at Steve's playful look of betrayal.
Y/N laughed as well, not being able to control her laughs before she felt a sharp pain in her lower abdomen where her gunshot wound was.
She got too excited, because she groaned at the pain in her still sore gunshot wound from her excitement, earning everyone's attention.
Hopper noticed Y/N's discomfort, and stepped in. "Alright guys, let's give her a minute." He rounded up the group, who's eyes were trained on Y/N with concern. "She's still not feeling well."
"Dad, I'm fine, really." She tried to get up out of her bed, before she winced once again from the gunshot pain and fell back against the pillow again.
Hopper shook his head, continuing to round the group out of her room. Once everyone was out of the room, he turned to enter Y/N's room again.
"Look, I know you're eager to get out of bed kid, but you need to let yourself heal." He explained, reaching to cover his daughter up with the blanket she pushed off. "Which is gonna be harder because the gate is closed."
Y/N furrowed her eyebrows, "It's really closed? For good?"
Hopper finished adjusting her bed to her comfort, sighing as he stood straight again.
Y/N noticed his stressed state: His eyes a bit red from loss of sleep and his skin a bit paler than usual - Y/N's own skin seemed to be a bit clammy as well now that she noticed it.
"Yeah, but that might not be a good thing for us in the end." Hopper exhaled, knowing Y/N would want to understand what that means.
"You know how we draw our energy and power now from the upside down? Well, I think if it's closed, it's gonna be a hell of a lot harder to use our abilities."
Hopper's hands were on his hips as he shrugged, his head shaking as if he couldn't believe Brenner made them this way.
"That's why your healing abilities aren't healing your gunshot wound as fast as it would if the gate was open."
Y/N looked at her dad with tired eyes, as if to communicate her irritation with her powers.
"You remember Sam Owens? That doctor that helped us out a year back?" Y/N nodded at this, so far following.
"Well, I got a call from him while the group was just here with you. He asked if I had seen the news on TV about Kamchatka, Russia, and the explosions." Hopper began, rubbing his eyes as he focused.
"While you were asleep, the news broadcasted a report about a nuclear explosion that was set off in a 'secret underground facility' that no one knew about." Hopper put his fingers up to quote his words.
"Of course it was Brenner's facility, the one where he performed our experiments, and the one where he was built on top of a nuclear reactor like the psychopath he is." Hopper scoffed.
"We turned on that nuclear reactor to get through the gate to escape the facility. It never turned off, got overheated, and exploded." Hopper explained, his eyes a bit sorry for what he was about to say.
"Brenner's facility imploded, all his work was destroyed. But that explosion set off another reactor in another power plant not too far away, called Chernobyl,"
"It exploded because of the facility explosion, and radiation spill everywhere."
Y/N's eyes furrowed with concern, not knowing that in the process of trying to save themselves, they might have caused the harm of innocents.
"And of course, some demogorgons got out of the facility. But when the reactor exploded, and the gate closed, they died. So the Russian news are actually trying to cover it up by saying that the demogorgon bodies were 'radiated animals caught in the explosion'."
Y/N swallowed her fear that was choking her up, knowing that she feared the answer she would get.
"Did people die?" She asked meekly, her eyes staring at her hands in her lap.
Hopper hesitated at his daughter's question, not wanting her to think that this was their fault.
"The nuclear reactor that we set off and exploded, did it kill innocents?" She asked again, more boldly.
Hopper exhaled, and nodded his head slowly. "It was the radiation."
Y/N nodded slowly, biting her lip as she tried to hold back her emotions.
She's killed people.
She had blood on her hands, and she couldn't ever get that out of her head.
"Still not sure where that son of a bitch ended up. Maybe he got stuck in the upside down like we did. Bit of karma will do him good."
She killed Brenner. She killed a person. He wasn't very much of one, but he was one nonetheless.
"I killed him.." She murdered, her eyes wide as she remembered. Hopper squinted his eyes in question. "What?"
"I killed Brenner." She looked up with cold eyes. "He shot a bullet at me, I tore it out, and shot it back at him with my mind."
She didn't feel as bad as she probably should have, but she didn't have a choice. It was either a psychopathic scientist, or her.
It was either her or him. And she saved herself.
Yet, she couldn't help but wonder which side of herself shot Brenner, and that's what scared her. She couldn't see the different between her blood and darkness of the mind flayer infecting her mind, and herself.
Hopper shook his head, his eyes understanding. "Kid, you only did what you had to do. I'm so goddamn proud of you, you know that?"
Y/N smiled tiredly, nodding. She felt her father press a kiss to her forehead, relieved that it was all over now.
But their troubles with their demogorgon blood was just beginning, and they weren't sure how to even move forward with that.
"I'll let you rest, you don't need your old man embarrassing you." Hopper joked, standing up from her bed. Y/N chuckled softly, "Wouldn't dream of it."
Hopper smiled, winking playfully before he turned around to walk out the door.
But there, leaning against the doorframe as he waited, was Mike.
Hopper narrowed his eyes, shooting a warning look to the lovestruck boy. He was about to pass by Mike in the door before he paused next to him to stand intimidatingly.
He leaned in a bit, so that only Mike could hear what he said next. "Don't piss her off, you understand?" His voice sounded angry, "Don't do anything stupid..again."
And with that, Hopper passed Mike, leaving him in the doorway of Y/N's room.
Mike inhaled, preparing himself to talk to Y/N before he walked in, his presence known.
"Hey.." He murmured, walking closer to her side of the bed to see her stare tiredly at him. "Mind if I pull up a chair?"
Y/N shrugged, prompting Mike to take that as a yes and pulled up a chair back up to the side of her bed where he was before.
The two best friends sat in a calm silence for a few moments, just getting used to the other's presence before they discussed the elephant in the room. Before they discussed everything dealing with their feelings.
"H-How are you feeling?" Mike offered a small starter, and Y/N turned to look at him with a thin-lipped look.
"Not bad, I guess. Just tired." She answered, almost dismissively.
Mike nodded, hearing the tint of irritation in her voice. He paused for a moment before he decided if he should proceed.
"You're upset.." He ducked his head a bit, as if cowering. "Aren't you?"
Y/N bit her tongue, knowing that he wanted to talk now. She couldn't put it off for forever, so might as well steer into the skid.
"You want the honest answer?" She asked without looking at him, her eyes trained on her hands in her lap.
Mike nodded quickly, his eyes wide with hope.
Y/N inhaled. If Mike wanted to know if she was mad, then he would.
"You didn't listen to me. You did exactly what I told you not to do, and you almost got killed in the process. So yeah, I'm a little upset." Y/N shook her head at the end, trying to keep her composure.
Mike instantly knew she was upset, judging by her signature facial expression she always made when she was upset with him. Ever since they were kids, it was a sure way to know she was angry.
"Y/N, I was just trying to protect you-.."
"Mike, I didn't want you to protect me. I wanted you safe, I wanted you out of the way- out of the danger. But you didn't listen." She persisted, her turning to look at his with frustrated eyes.
"Y-You're right, okay? I'm sorry, I just-.."
Y/N really didn't feel like going through the agonizing process that was dealing with their emotional feelings towards each other at that moment.
"Y/N please." Mike noticed her obvious look of disinterest. "Can we please talk? Please."
There was so much he wanted to say, so much he needed her to know.
Y/N, on the other hand, was fearful. She was scared to let him in to her heart again, because last time, he crushed it for all it was worth.
She had never been so hurt before in her life, by someone who meant so much to her. She didn't want to ever feel that way again.
So, she tried to avoid it at all costs. "There's nothing to talk about, we don't need to."
There was this underlying tension between them, as if they knew what they truly felt for one another, but were scared to scratch the surface of the argument that would ensue.
That's what love is. Taking that step and understanding that what may come next might not be pretty, but it would be worth it for the person you love.
And that's what Mike did.
"Yes, we really do." Mike inhaled, preparing for Y/N's reaction, but they needed to talk this out.
"Y/N, after you disappeared and we helped El and Will move, she had to put away your stuff."
Mike began, seeing Y/N's interest was skeptical but listening cautiously.
"So, she found a letter, a little note actually, that you wrote for me months before you disappeared. It talked about how you felt, and it was before you told me how you felt at the Battle of Starcourt, when —.."
Y/N's eyes widened at this, making her chuckle dryly, "Jesus Christ.." She scoffed as she pressed her fingers to her temple stressfully.
"You mean, when I made a mistake and embarrassed myself by saying I've been hopelessly in love with my best friend Mike Wheeler for years, just to get my heart ripped out?"
Y/N asked sarcastically, yet her eyes pierced Mike's with utter seriousness.
Mike was taken aback by her reaction, but obviously expected nothing less. She had every right to feel angry at him for how he treated her that night. He felt horrible.
"Is that what you're talking about?"
Mike realized she was in pain, and he caused it. He never meant to hurt her as bad as he did, and he felt absolutely horrible for that.
"No, it wasn't a mistake! It wasn't-.."
"It was, you wanna know why?" Y/N hissed, more like a genuine question. Mike paused, understanding that she wanted to talk this out.
"When you shot me down the way that you did, I realized that some people just aren't supposed to be together - that we weren't supposed to be together," Y/N exhaled, staring down at her hands as she spoke with a tone of utter heartbreak yet a tint of anger.
"And I really thought that we were gonna be together. I really thought it was me and you till the end. Until El came along.." Y/N shuttered, her glossy eyes staring blankly ahead of her as she remembered.
"That was when I felt the most hurt, when I watched you two get closer. That was when I realized we weren't supposed to be together, and I accepted that as best I could, and moved on.." Y/N shook her head.
She turned to lock eyes with Mike, and he could practically see the pain and shattered heartbreak he's caused her, along with everything else she's been through.
"But Mike that night of the Starcourt Mall battle, you broke my heart." She chuckled through her pain, through her tears. "You shattered it, you stepped on it with no mercy. And you pat my shoulder, and left me."
Mike's own eyes began to grow teary as he watched Y/N's eyes brim with tears herself.
"So yeah..it was a mistake to tell you how I felt. Because I never thought I'd be hurt that badly, by the person I care about most."
Mike knew she had every right to be angry with him, and his own heart yearned to make amends with Y/N's.
"Y/N.. I-.."
"And you made it perfectly clear that you're with El, so I stopped caring." Y/N shrugged, "I knew they I would always be second best."
Mike's heart broke at his best friend's words, and he couldn't feel more awful. He shook his head furiously, his eyes brows furrowed.
"No!" He blurted, "No, goddammit, you were never second best. Never." Mike leaned forward, his eyes staring at Y/N's face as she stared ahead.
There was something about her silent pain that struck Mike the most. She's felt this way for so long, and he was supposed to see it. He should have seen it, she's his best friend, he should have seen her pain.
"But me and El, we broke up a while ago." Mike realized Y/N didn't know.
He thought perhaps this would clear things up, but judging from her disappointed facial expression, he wasn't so sure.
Y/N was upset with Mike, yes. But that didn't stop her role of his best friend, which got mad that Mike threw away something that she thought made him happy.
"Mike, you idiot, why'd you go and do that?"
Y/N groaned stressfully, knowing he could be careless sometimes. "You guys were doing fine the last time I saw you-.."
Her sentence was cut short by Mike's soft chuckles. Y/N was caught off guard, staring at Mike before he looked up to meet her gaze with a small smile.
"You're incredible, you know that?" He smiled at her humor and concern.
Y/N furrowed her eyebrows, "What?"
"It's incredible that even after I hurt you, even after all I put you through, you still care about me." Mike held his smile knowingly, his eyes practically twinkling with admiration.
"You were about to chew my ass for breaking up with El." He chuckled.
Y/N was caught off guard, blinking, "Well yeah, you guys were fine last time-.."
Mike shook his head. "I broke up with her, because I didn't love her the way I thought I did."
Y/N tensed, her eyes avoiding his gaze as she went to stare at her hands again.
"I broke up with her, because I'm in love with someone else." Mike sighed, knowing he had to tell her exactly how he felt. He needed her to know.
Y/N froze, her eyes trained on Mike's now.
"It's funny, actually. I've felt this way for years, and I never knew what it meant, and when El came along, I assumed it to be because of her. But I was wrong."
Mike shook his head, as if he were disappointed in his self for not identifying his feelings earlier.
"This girl that I'm in love with..she's beautiful, she's so funny, she always makes me laugh. She's a real badass, super caring and smart, and just.. amazing."
Mike rambled, finding himself become lost in the infinite amount of things he loved about this person. "She's my best friend." Mike looked up to meet Y/N's vulnerable gaze.
"You have no idea how long I waited to hear your voice again, to hug you again, to see your smile again. I thought about you every single day," Mike's eyes twinkled at the thought. "And I couldn't wait to show you how I feel."
Y/N's eyes watered, as she was extremely happy to hear that Mike felt the same way she had about him all these years, but she was scared to let anyone in.
She spent so much time in the facility to work on convincing herself that she didn't love Mike anymore. She tried so hard, and she actually believed that she might have succeeded.
But all it took was one lock of their eyes, and she felt her stomach fluttering. It was all so confusing to her to feel these things again.
Ever since the facility, all she could feel was pain, anger, and fear.
She almost forgot what love and care felt like.
"Mike.." She breathed, shaking her head.
"And you were right." Mike nodded, his eyes were hopeful yet saddened. "I never saw you, but I do now. I see what you truly mean to me, and I'm an idiot for not realizing these things sooner."
Y/N tensed at his reference to her love note she had written and he had read. She never meant for him to see that.
"You mean so much to me. You always have, and these past few months without you have been so shitty. I've never felt more depressed or lost without you." Mike shook his head, "I never realized how much you meant to me until I lost you, and I thought it was too late."
"Mike, I can't-.."
"Y/N, I'm not wasting anymore time, I can't, so,"
"Mike, please I can't-.." Y/N was trying to spare her own heart, she couldn't bare opening it up again. Not with everything going on, not with everything she was.
Y/N's telepathy picked up on his mind's wavelengths, exerting the images of what he felt for her, and everything they've ever been through.
He wanted to love her, he wanted to show her. But Y/N feared for his own safety being around her. She wasn't sure she had the mind flayer under control, nor her demogorgon half.
It was all too much, too soon. It was a bit overwhelming.
She wanted what Mike wanted. They wanted the chance to love each other entirely not only as best friends, but she needed more time to sort things out.
"Y/N, I love-.."
"Mike, stop!" She blurted, clenching her eyes shut as she mentally regretted saying that. "I can't, I just.."
She knew what she felt, and to finally hear Mike return those feelings after so long of her wishing he did, she was happy.
But her happiness was quickly overruled and pushed to the side to be replaced with worry for what she was. For what was currently harboring her mind, and herself.
Just another thing she had to sacrifice. Her happiness.
"W-What? What do you mean?" He asked, innocently.
Y/N paused for a moment, wishing she wasn't so internally conflicted. There was just so much going on, she found it hard to understand it all.
"I-I can't. I just..it's hard to talk about."
Mike leaned forward, trying to get Y/N's stare to look back up at him rather than her clasped hands. "Y/N, talk to me."
Y/N hesitated, biting the inside of her lip anxiously.
"Please."
This was Y/N's best friend right next to her.
Mike was her first best friend, the one who probably knows her better than any of her other friends, and the only one she ever used to talk about emotional things with.
At this moment, she didn't need a lover. She wanted her best friend's emotional support she's had for years.
Which was the only reason she proceeded to open up her mind to him.
"When I..when I was in that base, Brenner made me into something I never wanted to be. I lost myself in there." She breathed, her eyes staring as she remembered every gruesome detail of her experiments. "I was scared all the time, to the point where that's all I could feel at all anymore. I was so sure I was going crazy."
Mike could hear the cracks of pain in Y/N's voice, wishing nothing more than to take it all away. "Hop told us what Brenner did to you guys..Y/N, I'm so sorry."
Y/N nodded, a single tear skipping along her cheek. "Then you know what I am, what's inside me. I'm a freak. I'm a fucking monster."
She sniffled, shaking her head, "I've changed, Mike, every thing just feels so different. I don't understand.." She exhaled, stressfully.
It was here that Mike saw similar yet worse symptoms to his depression and PTSD that he portrayed when Y/N had gone after the Battle of Starcourt.
Y/N undoubtedly had a severe case of PTSD, and the tortuous experiments she had to go through throughly terrified her.
She was broken, she was mentally and emotionally torn up, and it would take time before she could heal those wounds.
"Y/N, I can only imagine what you went through in that facility, but I know a few things." Mike leaned closer, trying to get her gaze fixated on him again.
"You may have that blood inside you, and you may have new abilities, but you're a badass! Well, y-you've always been a badass, but know you've got an extra kick."
"I guess." Y/N chuckled slightly, just feeling out of place.
Mike smiled slightly at the sight of her smile, wishing he could see more of it.
"But you are not a monster. You know what you are?" Mike asked rhetorically, nodding his head as Y/N turned to meet his eyes with a teary glance.
"You're my best friend. You always have been, and you always will be, no matter what." Mike reassured, nodding to empathize his point.
"Because Y/N.." He paused, carefully thinking about his next choice of words in fear of overwhelming her, but he needed her to know.
"Because Y/N..I'm in love with you. I always have been."
Y/N's teary eyes widened as she finally heard those five words spoken to her face, Mike's own eyes searching Y/N's for any sign of reciprocation to his profession.
But he didn't want to pressure her. "And it's okay if you can't say it back, I just needed you to know that."
Y/N bit her lip stressfully, almost as if she didn't want to say anything that would refute his profession.
Y/N knows what she feels for Mike, but her mind just couldn't seem to make room for it.
She hesitated, chewing her lip as a new habit of stress.
Mike furrowed his eyebrows with concern as he saw Y/N's eyes watering more, worried he had said something wrong.
"Mike.." She breathed with a break in her voice, "I know.. I know you wanted me to be running into your arms, kissing you, saying I want you to be my boyfriend."
She saw the look of hope in Mike's eyes waver, before she continued with the worst part of her next words, "But I just..I just can't right now. Not yet."
"I just..can we just be best friends for now? Like we used to be. I need you as my best friend right now, Mike. Please." Y/N breathed, her lip quivering as if she were pleading for Mike's friendship instead.
Mike's heart broke at the sight of her vulnerability, of her pure and raw emotions being shown to him.
She was so broken, so scared. She needed his comfort, and she wanted his help.
But he didn't hesitate to respond in a heartbeat. "I understand, of course I will
Y/N..of course I will."
He reassured, nodding his head with caring eyes. "Always."
Y/N seemed to physically relax at this, nodding her head as she sniffled.
"Hey.." Mike whispered softly, reaching to hold Y/N's hand in his. "Whatever you've been through, whatever comes next for you, I know we can figure it all out together."
Y/N looked down at their intertwined hands, grateful to appreciate the caring touch of her best friend. Her eyes then trailed back up to look at Mike intently, seeing the uttermost care in his eyes.
Y/N was overwhelmed to say the least, but she appreciated everything. Mike told her everything she's ever wanted to hear, and she couldn't wrap her head around that.
She tried so hard to push her emotions and fears to the side for the better of her family during the battle in the upside down, but now, it was all hitting her.
And she was scared. She was scared of what she would become as she now harbored the mind flayer inside her, his essence weaved inside every crevice of her body and mind.
But she truly believed, that with Mike with her, she could figure things out.
Mike wished that he could find the right words to put Y/N's busy mind at ease, but he couldn't find them.
Hopper had told Mike about some of Y/N's abilities, and although he didn't know the details of how Y/N's mind tricks work, he decided to try anyways.
Mike leaned forward to press his forehead against Y/N's, closing his eyes as he hoped she could feel what he felt for her. He hoped she could see and feel what he felt for her.
Y/N's eyes fluttered shut as she felt the wavelengths of his mind send pulses that she picked up with her telepathy, making her heart flutter at what she felt, and melt at the image she saw.
All she could see, was an image of the first day she and Mike met. That sunny day on the bright jungle gym of the kindergarten field.
It was the first time they locked eyes. The first time they smiled at each other. The moment they became friends.
And along with that memory, was a pure emotion.
It was love.
⋆
Author's Note :
SO SORRY FOR THAT LONG ASS BREAK I TOOK SORRYYY!
hope this 8000 word chapter made up for it!
but um.. my heart kinda melted during that last scene?? uh wow.
also..uh.. WE GOT ST BEHIND THE SCENES PICTURES UHH YES.
ALSO JUST WAIT YALL, THE MIKE & Y/N FLUFF IS COMING IN HOT..
if you have any questions about what has happened in this chapter , just ask, & I'll answer!
N E X T C H A P T E R :
we move forward in time..
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what do you think about all this ??
any theories ? any predictions?
thanks for reading.. stay tuned !!
PUBLISHED
November 9,, 2020
at 11:01 PM
8144 words
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