Keefe hated midterms.
It was always a reminder to his father that Keefe wasn't perfect. There was always a fight afterward, with Cassius yelling and Gisela watching and Keefe standing, head down, withstanding the storm until he could get to safety.
They always left early, not wanting to mingle with the other parents and have to keep the fake smiles on their faces, pretending they were a normal, loving family.
Keefe held his leaping crystal up to the light. He wasn't going to be able to get away with going to the meadow. Cassius would find him, somehow, and then he would lose his only refuge.
No, it would be safer to go to Candleshade. Better in the long run.
Keefe stepped into the light. As he began to glitter away, he saw Linh run past him towards where Sophie and her parents were.
He wondered what that was about.
Probably some girl thing.
He reappeared in front of Candleshade. He could hear shouting inside, so Cassius was probably already angry.
This would be fun.
He trudged in the front door, bracing himself for the insults beginning to fly at his face.
Useless.
Failure.
Mistake.
Disappointment.
Keefe almost covered his face, as though that would stop the words that were knives from sinking under his skin, scarring, leaving echoes that would never truly fade.
"Did I raise you to come second best?" Cassius shouted. "Did I bring you up to mess up everything you do?"
Keefe knew from experience that he shouldn't try to answer. The one time he'd tried, Cassius had thrown fizzleberry wine at the expensive carpet. Then Gisela had been mad at him, too.
"Alden Vacker's son manages to get perfect marks, and he doesn't have a photographic memory! He doesn't get detention, or play pranks, or make jokes!"
"Well, Fitz is boring like that," Keefe mumbled under his breath.
Evidently, he wasn't quiet enough because a shadow loomed over him and Keefe looked up to see his father standing over him, his face twisted with anger. "What was that? Do you have a comment?"
"No," Keefe muttered, lowering his head again.
"Good." Cassius continued with his tirade. "Everything I do to get you more like me, nothing works! You always pull some stunt or make some comment, and you destroy everything I've worked for! You will never get far in life because you never take anything seriously!"
Keefe tried to zone him out. But the words, slicing at tender wounds, striking at bruises, prodding deeper and deeper...
It was all Keefe could do to keep the tears in his eyes from leaking out.
He stared at his mother. She was sitting quietly in one of her chairs.
Not moving.
Just watching.
Keefe wished he was a telepath, so he could know what she was thinking.
Did she care?
Did she love him?
Did she know that he loved her, as much as he'd tried to stamp out those feelings?
He tore his wet eyes away from the silent statue and closed them, waiting for the yelling to stop.
"What is wrong with you?" Cassius shouted. "Why do I get the useless son? Why aren't you good at anything?"
A tear trickled down Keefe's cheek before he could stop it. He didn't dare wipe it away for fear his dad would notice.
But Gisela stood quickly and laid a hand on her husband's arm. She still said nothing, but Cassius hesitated for a second.
Then he shook off her arm. "What do you want?" he snapped.
Her eyes flashed. "Are you done? Have you had enough, yet?"
Cassius inhaled through his nose, his eyebrows pressing together. Just when Keefe thought he was about to blow, he spun on his heel and marched away to the leapmaster instead of his room, likely heading to his beach house or Atlantis apartment.
Keefe turned to his mother. He opened his mouth and closed it again.
It was a rare moment when he didn't know what to say, but this was one of those moments.
"I-" he started.
But Gisela turned and walked away, never seeing the hand Keefe stretched out behind her.
The hand he dropped, thirty seconds later, the hope that had rekindled in his heart fizzling out like the bubbles in Cassius's champagne.
...
Keefe stretched out in the meadow, trying not to think about his messed-up life.
He mostly wanted to forget about the afternoon before.
He'd chosen not to bring his notebooks that day, not wanting to stir up even more painful memories.
There was nothing for him to do.
No homework (not that he'd do it anyway), no drawing, no games, no friends.
His imparter had been going off all day. First, it was Cassius, then Fitz, then Biana. But Keefe wasn't in the mood to talk to any of them.
Keefe stared at the sky. There were fluffy clouds drifting across the blue expanse. It stretched on forever, the sky. If he could go that far, he could escape from all the pain and rage of his life. No one could bother him, not Cassius, not Gisela, not Fitz, not anyone.
His imparter went off, interrupting his daydreams. He groaned and rolled over, but his lips curved into a smile as he saw who it was. He answered, making sure his hair was in place.
"Hey, Ruewen," Keefe grinned, blinking to clear the last hint of pain from his eyes. "What's up? Get bored of Fitzy?"
Sophie's face contorted; it almost seemed as though it was in pain. It smoothed out a second later, but Keefe had already seen it.
"Hey, what's wrong? What did I say?" Keefe asked. If he'd messed this up too-
Sophie shook her head.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" He knew his face was showing too much concern, but he couldn't make himself put his mask back on.
She shook her head again. Her face was still shadowed with sadness and anger.
"Okay... do you want to come here? Or should I come there?" Keefe knew that he needed to read her emotion to help her, and he couldn't do that over the imparter. Plus, he needed her as much as she needed him.
"Are you at your house?" Keefe saw her squint, trying to take in his surroundings.
"No, I'm in a random meadow. I like coming here sometimes. It's... peaceful. Away from... you know." Keefe cursed himself for saying too much, for bringing up his own problems. This was about her, and she didn't need to hear about his crappy life.
"Hang on, I'll be there soon."
Keefe told her how to get there, and she nodded and blinked away.
She glittered into the clearing a short distance away, and Keefe could hear her gasp. He smiled as she turned a slow circle, taking it all in.
"Wow, Keefe," she breathed, "This is..."
"Almost as beautiful as me," Keefe had to wipe the sadness off her face, and there was always one method that worked. "Although it isn't quite as handsome."
Sophie let out one of her laughs. It was one of the most beautiful sounds Keefe had ever heard.
Her eyes shifted down to where there was a strip of exposed skin on his stomach, and his smirk widened as he felt her emotions. She blushed.
"So, what did you need to talk about?" Keefe asked.
"Um, nothing." Sophie was obviously lying. Even if the feelings wafting off her didn't give her away, she had hailed him for some reason, and it wasn't because of his charming attitude. Although that was a bonus.
"See, I don't think that's right. You're sending off a LOT of 'I need to talk' vibes," he told her.
"Am I?"
"Yup! So what's up? And why are you feeling... hmm... may I?" Keefe grabbed her wrist before she could protest and let her emotions flow into him. "Wow, that is a LOT of anger! And it's not even all directed at me! That's a change. There's also some sadness, and shoot, you got some guilt. So I gotta ask... what's causing all the throw-up feels?"
Sophie yanked back her arm and glared at him, but he knew she didn't mean it.
"Fine. I just... I told someone something I shouldn't have."
Sophie definitely didn't want him asking, and if she shouldn't have told that someone (Keefe could guess who) whatever it was, he shouldn't ask what it was. It wasn't his business anyway. And the amount of guilt was worrying him. He had to address that first.
"Hmm... that explains the guilt... which should NOT be happening, by the way. I'm sure you had your reasons for telling them, and that the something wasn't, like, a Forgotten Secret or anything, so let's put that guilt away before you get in trouble." Keefe waited until she nodded before saying, "But why the sadness and the super large, T-Rex-sized load of anger?"
"Well... that someone was Fitz," she admitted.
Keefe tried to stop the prick of jealousy and anger. Fitz had made her tell him something she didn't want to? But why did she feel so angry and sad? "So? Shouldn't he have been all, 'thank you so much for telling me that, my darling pumpkin dove flower honeybear!' And then you kiss and make out for a bit, and then-" The words hurt, and Keefe couldn't help feeling a twinge of victory when Sophie interrupted him.
"Stop there, please," she held up her hand. "I kind of expected that reaction, to be honest," she confessed. "But I maybe sorta promised not to tell anyone, because it wasn't my secret, and I still told him anyway, and then he got all mad because it took me a while to tell him, and then he said he didn't trust me, and-"
"Wait, what?" Keefe was getting angry. Fitz did what? "He convinced you to tell him a secret that you promised not to, and then said that he didn't trust you?"
"Well, it was because he thought I didn't trust him enough to tell him, and then he said that if I didn't trust him, then he couldn't trust me."
"What- that- what?" Keefe shook his head, disappointed in his friend. "Someone is just asking to get cornobbled. So I'm guessing you turned on your Reuwen charm, and then he was like, 'actually, I love you and trust you!' and then you kissed and everything?"
Keefe knew firsthand just how powerful her Ruewen charm could be.
"Um, no. Not exactly," Sophie hedged. "I kinda... changed the subject? And then... it got worse."
"How?" Keefe was getting worried. Her face when she had hailed him...
"He... brought up matchmaking."
Keefe took a breath. "Did you tell him you weren't planning on registering?"
"How did you-" Sophie started.
"I know you," Keefe said, and blushed. "I mean, I can read how anxious and stuff you get whenever someone mentions matchmaking," He rushed to cover up his embarrassment.
"Yeah, anyway. I did tell him. And he..." Sophie trailed off, squeezing her eyes shut. Anger and regret warred on her face, and drifted over to Keefe. "Do I have permission to enter your mind?"
"Creepy telepath stuff alert! Why do you want to enter my mind?" Keefe shifted upright. There was plenty of stuff in his head he didn't exactly want her to see.
"I want to show you my memory of the fight," she told him. Immediately, guilt began to swirl with her other emotions, making it hard for Keefe to remember whose feelings were whose.
"Hey, why all the guilt, again?" Keefe asked gently. "You don't have to show me if you don't want to. And you do have permission to enter my mind, as creepy as that sounds." Anything to put a smile on her face, or at least to wipe that frown off.
Sophie shook her head. "It's not about that, it's... never mind." She reached for his temples. Keefe tensed instinctively before forcing himself to relax.
They had to shift closer, and Keefe was aware of everywhere he was close to her. And it seemed she was as well.
"Seems like your mood just shifted, Ruewen," Keefe said, his lips curving into a crooked grin against his will. "Mind telling me why?"
Sophie didn't respond, a blush rising up her cheeks. She pressed her fingers to his forehead. "Okay, here... we... go!"
Keefe watched Fitz bring up the subject, and kept pushing and prodding and trying to change her mind, and he got angrier and angrier. Fitz had no right to treat her like this! She could make her own choices!
The memory ended, and Keefe realized his fists were curled into tight balls. He ordered them to relax, but it took several seconds before they obeyed. There were a million things Keefe wanted to say, but he couldn't say any of them.
He shouldn't have said that.
Are you broken up now?
Why did you ever like him?
I would never do that to you.
But the look on Sophie's face stopped him from saying anything, and before anything, he needed to make her feel better about her decision.
"You know, if you don't register, no one's going to care," Keefe told her.
Sophie raised her eyebrows. "Right, that really showed how much no one was going to care."
"No, I mean it," Keefe insisted. He wanted to grab her hands, but it was too soon and too sensitive, so they remained at his sides. "Actually. Fitz was just reacting in the moment. He does that a lot, you know? He didn't mean anything he said. He was... I don't know. I think that he asked that initial question because he wanted you to say a specific answer, and when you didn't give him that answer, he got angry."
Keefe couldn't believe he was trying to reassure her. Trying to make Fitz seem better. But he was being a good friend, like Alden had told him to be.
"You know, this isn't helping me think anything better of Fitz right now." She rolled her eyes. The annoyance on her face was kind of adorable. "You're basically telling me he was mad because I didn't do what he wanted me to do."
"Not exactly..." Keefe paused, trying to think of what to say. "It was more like... he was scared of the situation, and he didn't like that feeling. So he got angry at the situation, and he took it out on you."
Keefe had experience with that. That was his dad's default mode.
Sophie sighed. "Okay... I guess. But we aren't getting back together until he doesn't react that badly to that response. I mean, he's probably getting his lists soon anyway."
"Maybe," Keefe shrugged. He knew for a fact that Fitz was planning on getting them at the end of the year, but he figured that wouldn't help the situation. "I mean, he registered and filled out his packet and all that, but... he might wait to get his first list. And before you worry... no, I have not registered."
"Why?" Sophie asked curiously.
"Just waiting to see how a few things shake out."
Before she could ask what that meant, Sophie's imparter went off. She sighed and reached out to answer it, checking the name. "It's Edaline, I'd better answer." She shifted, facing Keefe so Edaline wouldn't see him, and answered.
"Sophie Ruewen, where. Have. you. Been?" Keefe heard Edaline's voice radiating out of the screen. "I hailed you ten times! I thought you were at Fitz's, so I hailed them, but they said you had left! I tried every single one of your friends, even Keefe, and they said you weren't there!"
Keefe felt, rather than saw, Sophie wince. He appreciated the way Edaline said his name, as though Sophie couldn't possibly be with him. "I thought you might have gone to the Healing Center, so I hailed Elwin, but he said you hadn't come! I had no idea where you were, you could have been faded or lost or something and you have no right to worry me like that!"
Sophie winced again. "Okay, I'm coming! Bye!" She clicked off the imparter and fumbled to get her home crystal. "Sorry, Keefe I have to go. And... thanks," she said softly, glancing over at him. "You... really helped."
"Like I said, Ruewen. Anytime. Anytime." Keefe smiled gently. And he meant it. If she woke him up in the middle of the night, he would stop sleeping and help her.
Before he knew what was happening, Sophie leaned in and brushed her lips against his cheek with a feather-light touch. Keefe sat, stunned, as Sophie held her crystal up to the light and disappeared.
He reached up to touch the place her lips had met his cheek. There was no sign of the kiss but his memory, and he replayed the moment over and over in his head, the spark of hope rekindling itself in his heart.
So that started out... depressing.
But then Sokeefe!
So it sorta fixed itself lol
This is another resting point! If you have anything you need to do, chores, homework, sleep, bathroom break, then do it! Close the tab! Don't click that next chapter button! Finish your work; this will still be here when you get back! You need your sleep, and this is a good place to stop for the night or for a little bit while you do what you need to do!