Training was difficult. Ava didn't know if it was meant to be that way or Theo was pushing her extra hard; payback for putting her on the spot. Without a fail, they trained every night. Theo would receive a small lesson and instruction on reading, starting small at first, and then Theo would train with Ava. If Ava was tired from a long sun at sea, it didn't matter. They were in the training room for hours on end and Ava wasn't sure if she was even getting any better. It had been ten nights of training and all she felt was exhaustion.
It was a training routine Ava had never done before and it was miles away from how easy group training was. Ava ran laps around the deck first, Theo said it was to build endurance. Then she would train with her cutlass, small repetitive motions on a dummy; Theo said it was to build technique. Then she was given heavy objects hung at the end of a long stick and made to pick it up over and over, Theo said it was for strength. All of these exercises and all of that energy exerted and Ava was still no closer to learning anything about combat. Ava, despite not understanding and despite her body being in constant agony, never questioned Theo.
Exhaustion was the least of her problems though. Ava hadn't thought about the long term impact being in close quarters with Theo would cause. Night after night she was practically manhandled by Theo, not in a bad way at all. Ava had problems with her positioning, she never quite knew how to stand or where to grab a weapon. Theo was forced to be hands-on and Ava found herself purposely messing up the foot positions so Theo would be forced to come and help her out. Ava's brain was haywire, most of her thoughts were consumed by Theo, and being three inches away from her for hours on end was starting to drive Ava insane. Theo's touches never lingered but Ava still felt where Theo's hands had been even minutes after they had touched her.
Theo's training was harsher at the beginning, residual anger over being toyed with bubbled just under the surface of her skin, Ava could tell. It had taken a few nights to get back to normal but Theo and Ava jumped back into their light banter pretty quickly. Each night they got together to train, Theo's scowl softened more and more until Ava was finally in Theo's good graces again. The training didn't get easier, Theo just got nicer. Ava responded better to not-mean Theo. She ran her laps a little faster, picked up the weights with fewer complaints, and picked up techniques to swing faster and better more easily. Ava's internal monologue while training consisted of mostly complaints and thinking about Theo but no matter how much she complained she wouldn't trade it for anything.
Ava had just finished up her sixth lap around the ship. She had climbed up and downstairs and fought against the violent winds on deck, to say she was out of breath was an understatement. She slowed her pace as she jogged into the training room, Theo sat with a piece of paper in her lap tracing Common letters. Ava came to a stop and put her hands on her knees, her head hung as she caught her breath. Theo looked up from her paper only slightly before refocusing on it.
"How many was that?"
"Six," Ava rasped.
"Good, another two," Theo instructed.
"What?" Ava looked up, hands still on her knees, "Theo I did one more lap than yesterday. I can't do another two."
"Then we are done for the night," Theo said and got up.
They had an agreement. If any of them refused to do what was asked of them, the night was done. The rule was created by Ava, ironically. Theo was stubborn when it came to reading and for the first few nights would resist the instruction given to her. Ava's hand had been forced into creating a rule that was now being used to kill her. Literally. She felt her lungs would give out if she ran another lap around the ship.
But she had no choice. Ava just let out something between an exasperated scream and a grunt and ran back out. She was slower than she was before but she truly couldn't push herself to go any faster. She had never run before, at least not for sport as soldiers did. She would run around her garden with the chambermaid from time to time or dash away from a guard but that did not compare to this. Every few nights, Theo would increase the number of laps Ava needed to do. That night it had been six and Ava almost bailed just hearing that number, now she had to do two more.
Once she was through with the laps, her run was barely above a walk and her breathing was heavy and ragged. She stopped running as soon as she passed the threshold into the training room and she knelt down, filling her chest with air.
"Up," Theo said and grabbed something off the wall. Ava didn't move and Theo walked over and kicked her lightly, "Come on, Red. Up."
Ava looked up at Theo who had two long wooden poles in her hand, "Can I have a second to breathe?"
"Afraid not," Theo tossed one of the sticks to the ground, "Grab it."
Ava grabbed the pole and used it to help herself get up. No sooner was she up did Theo strike her with the pole. Ava ducked instinctively and her mouth dropped, "What the fuck, Theo."
Theo held each hand on an opposite side of the stick and Ava took her lead, positioning her hands so the pole acted as a bar she could raise to block hits. Theo struck again, turning her stick to hit from another angle. This time Ava was expecting it and she brought up her stick to block it. Theo was much stronger than her and Ava could only keep the position for a few seconds before stepping back. Theo unleashed a series of moves, one hit after the other, and Ava could do nothing but weakly block them and take a step back with each hit. Ava was inches from hitting the wall when Theo stopped and backed away.
"You need to fight back Ava," Theo said, "defense will only get you so far."
"You didn't let me recover before you attacked me," Ava dropped the stick and put her hands on her knees again trying to catch her breath. It felt as if she hadn't had a proper chance to breathe since she was first sent on laps.
"You won't get a chance to just stop and relax when you are fighting. If you are on the vanguard you have to be able to fight during any condition. Exhausted, barely woken up, rainy, sunny, windy, with an injury, after running for two hours," Theo kept listing.
"I get it," Ava said and waved her hand to get Theo to stop. Ava's frustration with the Captain was higher than it had ever been. She had been doing everything Theo had told her for so long and Theo hadn't even given her credit for doing a good job or trying. If Theo wanted a fight, she would get a fight.
Ava picked up the stick as quickly as she could and charged towards Theo. She brought down the stick to attack but Theo was ready to block and brought up her pole to block Ava's. The wood collided with a loud clack and Theo easily pushed Ava back with a thrust of her pole. Ava brought it down again, using all the strength she had in her to make sure the hit gave Theo a little bit of trouble. It didn't.
Not only was Theo able to block it with ease, but she also pushed Ava's pole away with her own and the force was enough to send Ava tumbling back. Ava, too tired to catch herself on time, fell on her ass. Theo's stern face did not waver but she did come over to help Ava up. Ava took the hand that was offered to her and stood up.
"Take a water break," Theo said, "We'll continue when you get back."
Ava's legs gave out the second she heard Theo's command. There was no point in being helped up because she found a home on the floor. She let her lungs fill with precious air. Her whole body was tingling, from her fingertips to her toes. Oxygen trying to reach every blood vessel inside of her. She heard Theo laugh and a smile came to Ava's face. As exhausted and annoyed as she was, Theo's laugh was always infectious. She felt something fall on her stomach and looking down she found a pouch of water. Theo was hovering above her.
"You good?" Theo asked.
"Oh so you do care," Ava quipped and sat up, taking large sips of water.
"I'm harsh with you because that is the way I train. Being on the vanguard doesn't just mean you protect the ship when raids happen. You are the first over the ship when we board others, you are the first on the ground when we do land missions, you are at the forefront of danger at all times and you need to be prepared. If you want to be on the vanguard you need to prepare for the test and this is how it is done," Theo squatted down next to Ava and grabbed some of the water, and took a sip.
Ava laid back down on the floor and took slow, deep breaths. Her body was finally coming around and she felt capable of standing up, "What's next? Cutlass?"
"No," Theo said and stood back up, "We are pausing weapons for now. You need to learn hand to hand combat."
"Why?" Ava asked and followed Theo's lead, standing up.
"Do you know how to fistfight?"
"Not exactly."
"Which is why we are learning," Theo settled her point then walked to the corner of the room.
Theo dragged something out, a cylindrical bag with hay inside. She motioned Ava to come over and Ava did. Theo left the bag and it flopped over in its spot. She walked to a chest in the room and dug around until she pulled out what she was looking for.
"Hands," Theo put simply and Ava held out her hands. Theo began to wrap Ava's palms and knuckles in what felt and looked like leather. Two long straps were tied to her, one around each of her hands, "These will protect your skin from tearing until it gets tougher."
Ava watched as her hands were carefully wrapped by Theo. Ava wanted Theo to flip her hand over and hold it, tightly. She longed for it, Theo's calloused fingers wrapped up within her own. Intimate and gentle. Ava took a sharp breath in and pulled her hands away as quickly. Thankfully, Theo had just finished. Theo bent down and grabbed the bag of hay again, holding it steady.
"I need to see how you punch," Theo said, "Go ahead and give the bag a couple of hits."
"But you are behind it."
"Aye, I need to steady it. Good observation," Theo teased.
"I won't hurt you?" Ava asked.
Theo held in a laugh and shook her head, "I would like to see you try."
------
Theo was sulking in her desk chair. Arms crossed over her chest and pout on full display. If she had been five again it would have been cute but she wasn't. She was a full-grown woman and the captain of a ship, she should have had more composure. The room around her was evidence of the pitiful scene that had unfolded before. Pencils were littered across the floor and one of her books was open, face down in front of the door.
Theo gave herself a few seconds to continue brooding before getting up and picking up the things on the floor. She had already learned the alphabet, how to write each letter, and even what letters made what sounds. It would have been impressive except it took her 15 whole nights to learn it. Ava didn't know but Theo was also practicing during her alone time just trying to get it right. They had now moved on to putting words together and sounding it out.
Well, they had tried to move on to that but Theo's fit got in the way. She didn't think reading would be that difficult. She knew common, fluently, and thought once she knew the letters that the words would just come to her. That was far from the case. She had grown increasingly more frustrated and hostile towards Ava throughout the night even though Ava had nothing to do with her inability to read. Ava had learned how to verbally fight back with Theo in the 15 nights they had worked together and she made sure to use her new skill. It was the same way Theo was being with Ava about training, strict. But Ava only got mean when Theo got mean so really Theo was bringing it all on herself.
Theo had started to shut down after the first few minutes of the lesson. She was missing every word she was trying and the constant failure to catch on to what Ava was teaching had started to anger her. She felt like a kid again, Cooker over her shoulder trying to explain how to put the letters together to form a longer sound and then a word. Theo had ended up snapping at Ava to back up and give her room and when Ava refused to pay attention Theo knocked the pencils off the table. Ava had cut the lesson short, citing the one rule they had established: the night is over when someone rejects instructions. Theo threw the journal she was writing in at the door with a grunt when Ava had closed it shut.
It was easier to push Ava away than to face her fears. It was easier to be so insufferable to work with than face failure. If she was bad enough, Ava would quit, and then Theo didn't have to embarrass herself anymore. And it was humiliating to her. Other captains could show up to a meeting without an aid meant to read papers. Other captains could sign off on a deal without a translator. Other captains could read Common.
It wasn't the fact that she couldn't read that made her so upset. It was that she had to depend on other people because of it. She depended on Cooker to read books to her, on Xyra to approve of business, and Ava to help her learn. She didn't give a fuck that she couldn't read Common. Common was not always the language of the land. Before the Great War, Common was known as Eloxian. After the Great War, sweeping reform forced all areas of1 Baethan society to adopt Eloxian as the common language. Her parents teaching her Aelizan and not Common was a form of rebellion. It was subverting The Center in a small way and she was proud of that. Little acts of dissent were what shook the foundation of a powerful system.
Furthermore, Theo found no shame in illiteracy; whether in a mother tongue or Common. Her parents knew how to read Aelizan and chose to teach her, other's did not have parents that could teach them to read. The lack of widespread education in Baethos did not speak to the level of intelligence of the common folk, it spoke to the failures of the government. Theo was determined that if she had any influence on the world, she would use it first to educate others.
Which is why her outbursts were harming her and not helping her. The need to lean on others now would pay off in the future and she knew that. But damn was she stubborn. Theo needed to know how to read Common, not for herself but for her crew. If Theo was going to command a fleet, Xyra and Cooker would not be by her side. At least not physically. They were the closest people to her and the ones with the most pirating experience. They would each get control of their own ship on the fleet one day and she couldn't rely on them to translate things forever.
It had been a while since her last outburst, around ten nights, and Theo was afraid she might have fucked it all up. She was getting up to go when Xyra walked in.
Xyra looked around then frowned, "I thought Red would be here."
"Why are you looking for her?" Theo asked and pulled on her coat.
"I was going to ask her to help me tomorrow in the aftermoning."
"She works for Tuni now. You have to ask Tuni first," Theo reminded Xyra of the rules when it came to borrowing crew members.
"Tuni's given the go-ahead on Ava to be lent to anyone who needs," Xyra shrugged, "Figured I would get my chance to scoop her up tomorrow."
"How long has this been happening?" Theo asked.
"Don't know. A while," Xyra chuckled, "I thought you approved it."
"I most certainly did not," Theo said. Her head had been in the clouds, she hadn't even noticed. She had been doing her job and making her rounds but Ava was never out and about, Theo had just assumed she was in Tuni's infirmary.
"If you see her send her my way," Xyra requested.
"Will do," Theo said and walked out to find Ava.
She wasn't in the lower decks or the library. Theo checked the infirmary, the storage room, the kitchen, and Cooker's room. Ava was nowhere to be found. Theo doubled-back and went to the library to check again but it was empty the second time around as well. When she was walking down the hallway from the library and into the storage room she caught a whiff of a strong, sweet odor. Theo followed the scent to where it was the strongest, an abandoned room between the library and the storage room. The door was closed but a gentle twist of the handle and it opened. The floor, which was supposed to be empty, was littered with pillows and blankets.
Theo had missed a lot. There was a whole room on her ship that looked like it was the scene of a crew wide orgy and she was none the wiser. The room being drastically different was not the only thing of interest, the person in the middle of it was. There lied Ava, in a dark room with a lit cigarette. By the smell, Theo guessed something like havcera is what she was smoking.
"I stressed you out so much I made you turn to drugs?" Theo teased and crawled down onto the floor. She lied right next to Ava and closed her eyes as well.
"Aye," Ava said bluntly.
Theo laughed, "Oi."
"You want me to lie?" Ava asked and took another drag of the cigarette.
Theo chuckled at that too and stayed quiet for a bit. She wanted to apologize but didn't have it in her just then. So Theo did what she did best and steered the conversation away from the real issue at hand.
"I am going to ask a question. Considering I am Captain and I should probably know the answer to it, I am going to ask you to spare the commentary on that," Theo asked and then reached over to Ava's outstretched hand. She was offering Theo a hit and Theo took it graciously.
The first signs of forgiveness, sharing drugs.
Theo coughed out after a drag, "What the fuck is this place?"
"You shouldn't know cause it's supposed to be a surprise," Ava said, "Or, less of a surprise and more of an in-the-works operation."
"Can you explain?"
"Can you promise to pretend you've never seen this room before?"
"Aye," Theo swore.
"The lower deck girls wanted a place to go and relax and meditate. Carpentry was looking for a new job. I suggested a quiet room. A room of just pillows and blankets, no noise, no light. We used to have them where I lived," Ava explained calmly. The drugs had kicked in and she seemed far less wound up than when they were reading.
"So, it just happened. A rogue settlement," Theo laughed.
"No, " Ava joined in the laughter, "They wanted to make sure it's what they wanted before they brought it up with Evana."
"Is it?" Theo asked.
Ava shrugged, a small smile on her face, "You'll have to wait and see if the proposal comes across your desk."
Theo chuckled. What Xyra had said was true. Ava was seeping into every part of the ship and loaning herself out to anyone that wanted help. Theo had never met a pirate that was unwilling to be lazy. Theo would be mad that Ava wasn't doing her job but there wasn't much to do. Tuni had no patients and there were only so many times Ava could rehearse the names of medicines.
"So Xyra wants to see you when you get a chance. She says she has a job for you," Theo mentioned.
"I am in high demand these days," Ava mused.
"I wasn't aware you were job hopping around the ship."
"Then you must not have been paying attention," Ava said, sassily. She was not going to make it easy for Theo, "It wasn't a secret."
"Watch it, I am still your Captain," Theo said but there was no real threat or menace behind her tone.
Still, Ava reeled it in a little, "Sorry. I just mean I'm not trying to hide it. I'm grateful for my job but I don't do much. Sometimes the ship needs extra hands in certain places."
"Why are you so willing to help?" Theo was genuinely curious.
"It helps me get to know the crew and the ship," Ava shrugged and took the cigarette back from Theo.
Theo sat in silence. Ava had a lot of heart and even more charisma. She had been fired from every job yet managed to get asked to come back. For eight going on nine suns, Ava had been helping people around the ship. She was smarter than she let on. Ava's naivety sometimes led Theo to overlook that fact. She was intuitive, observant, quick to adapt. Ava knew she needed votes to stay and with a job that had little interaction with others, she wouldn't be able to win the women over as easily. Theo was sure that Ava had other motivations too but Theo knew better than to underestimate the redhead. Where Ava was mistaken was that the women did not take a lot of convincing to vote someone into the crew, but that was not Theo's crew secret to tell.
Theo turned her head to look at Ava. There was a slight frown set on her face, unwavering. Theo felt bad, the pit of her stomach feeling tight. Ava was being blunt to make a point earlier but her statement still stood. Theo had wound her up so much that she had gotten legitimately upset and that wasn't something Theo wanted to do.
"Red," Theo began softly, "I'm sorry."
"For?"
"Being insufferable when it comes to you teaching me things. Where I come from, the criminal underworld I suppose, you learn that faults and failures are weaknesses. I get scared when it comes to this kind of stuff because I am so out of my depth," Theo opened up. It was a struggle, every sentence felt like a marathon but she did it. She spoke about her feelings and her chest did feel lighter. Maybe that is why people recommended healthy communication.
Ava was stunned silent. Theo figured that would be the case. It wasn't every day someone got a formal and well thought out apology from Captain Theo. Theo didn't like the silence so she continued.
"I'm also sorry for being a dick about training. I'm not going to stop, I just want you to know I am sorry. It's the process and it sucks, so again, I'm sorry," Theo said, genuinely.
Ava reached her hand out and took Theo's into her own. Ava squeezed gently, "Thank you, Theo."
Theo looked down. She couldn't see much in the dark, just the outline of their hands together. Theo's stomach was doing flips and her heartbeat started to accelerate. She felt like she did when she had her first crush, giddy, and light. Theo squeezed back and said nothing, telling herself she should remove her hand but keeping it there instead. She held hands with a lot of her friends. It was no big deal.
Except, it was a big deal.