Hell Hath No Fury - Book One

Pika's Rock

They were on Theo's balcony. Jerky, mugs with tea, and a candle in between them.

"So," Ava said and took the havcera cigarette Theo handed her.

"So," Theo repeated and took a bite from a piece of jerky.

Ava laughed and looked at Theo for a crumb of anything to start a conversation. They had been sitting in silence, smoking, and snacking for a few minutes. Theo had been the one to suggest talking. Theo had also been the one that ran away so it was only fair to expect her to start.

"You're a nox," Theo said, it was toeing the line between a question and a statement.

"I kissed you which means I think you are attractive so does that answer your question?"

"Not really. Just because you find me attractive doesn't mean you are a nox. You could be a pirious," Theo said.

Ava had heard the term referenced before. Cooker had explained to her that there was a broad range of words attributed to certain experiences. Pirious were indifferent to gender when picking a partner. There were nuances with each term and each person had a slightly different meaning to it. Cooker had explained that there was an inherent clash when it came to describing things and trying to universally apply it to people. Baethos was large and the cultures and systems present throughout it differed. A lot of times the definition of a word had been molded and changed to fit the current needs of the group.

Cooker gave a good example one night when Ava had brought up the question of a certain couple on the ship. Anjiri and Fal, a nox couple that had come onto the ship together. Anjiri was a woman and presented as such but Fal wasn't. Fal was what the pirates called omkei, genderless. Ava asked how a couple made up of a woman and an omkei could consider themselves a nox couple when nox meant a woman who is a lover of women. Cooker had explained that while that was the original meaning of the word, it had morphed and molded into something new. Noxes were united in their experiences and that experience was the lack of attraction to men, not necessarily solely the attraction to the conventional sense of womanhood.

Ava knew that regardless of the personal differences people had when assigning themselves labels, she was a nox. She was not attracted to men and in turn that did not make her indifferent to gender.

"I am a nox," Ava said and she surprisingly felt a weight lift off her chest.

It was the first time she had said it and not felt uncomfortable or unsure about it. For the entire cycle, since she had figured it out, she had been second-guessing herself. Telling herself the things she had heard her family say: it was wrong, it was unnatural, it was because she was going mad. She was just only pretending to be attracted to women to stand out and feel special. These thoughts were ones she had to actively fight against. It was hard, she couldn't just unlearn and untrain her mind to stop them from creeping in. It had been 16 long lengths of being indoctrinated with a false reality and she had to work to avoid letting it infect her life again.

"And you kissed me because?" Theo asked and took the havcera from Ava.

I like you. I cannot stop thinking about your lips. Your touch sends lightning bolts down my spine.

"Your face is kind of nice to look at. Can't complain much about it," Ava said and took a sip of her tea, hiding her face behind her mug. She kicked her leg out and nudged Theo's thigh with her foot, "you're not off the hook. Why'd you kiss me?"

"Your face is kind of nice to look at," Theo shot back with a smirk.

"Then why'd you run away?" Ava pressed, she wanted to know more than anything. Theo had kissed her back the first time and initiated the second. The attraction was clearly there so why did Theo run?