Pretending to sleep had been better than being bored all night, surprisingly. Emmett had questioned me at some point during the middle of it, asking what I was doing. He joined me after I explained it to him. It was nice to sit back and relax in silence in his presence. Eventually however, he stopped and said being still wasn't his forte. I swear in his human life, he had ADHD.
In the early morning, Edward asked if I would play chess with him. He also apologized profusely for the afternoon before. I told him it wasn't his fault.
"No, no. Jace, I'm deeply sorry. I didn't know what you were going through, and I should have taken that into account before I got defensive."
"I understand. You thought I was about to hurt your daughter."
"Yes- but... I wanted to ask you something." He spoke timidly, which was odd after being around his serious demeanor.
"Yes?"
"What was that? Those images? They played in your head like a screenplay."
I pursed my lips, unsure of how to respond. It was odd to hear my own head from someone else's perspective, and the fact that a stranger already knew so much about me shot nerves up my stomach.
The truth was, I didn't really know the answer to that question. All I knew is that these flashes and images were always through my own eyes. It felt like I was experiencing my childhood all over again.
"I think you have PTSD, Jace."
I blanked. "What? Why would you say that?"
"It's not the same as human PTSD, but very similar. It's different for us because we're vampires, our emotions are that much stronger- just like our increased physical abilities."
I laughed. "But the point of vampires is that we're basically perfect- it wouldn't make any sense."
"Not exactly. Our chemical balance is perfect, sure. But not our trauma."
My mood automatically shifted.
I scoffed at him. "What are you, my psychiatrist now?" I spat at him.
Hell no. I was not about to have this conversation with a fucking stranger.
Hearing my agitation, he stopped talking for a moment.
"I'm sorry, Jace. I shouldn't be pushing this onto you. You've got a lot on your chest." He spoke sincerely.
I scoffed again. What right did he have?
"You said that you wouldn't invade my privacy." My arms were crossed now, my face hard.
"It's not something I can control, but you're right. I should keep my thoughts to myself."
Ya think? I thought coldly.
He pursed his lips and didn't speak again for a long time.
When my mind drifted off, he spoke again.
"Would you still play chess with me?"
I glared at him suspiciously.
"Why?"
My mind was different he said, my thoughts worked in an abnormal manner, and he wanted to study me so him and Carlilse could discuss it. I explained that I had never played chess in my life and that that was a very old man thing to do, but he didn't complain and taught me anyway. It had been boring when he taught me, but after winning three times in a row it was fun.
"I don't think you realize you have an advantage here, Jace." He'd told me.
"What do you mean?" I asked him. Carlilse was watching us and spoke, "No one ever wins against Edward unless it's Alice, because he usually reads their thoughts before they even make the move. The fact that you've beat him multiple times isn't a regular occurrence in this house."
"What makes me different?" I asked them, self conscious. Was I some sort of freak?
"It doesn't make you a freak, Jace. It's like a super power. You can manipulate the way I respond to you. You were playing to win, so your thoughts made it so. It was harder to read your next move because of the way your thoughts manipulated mine, it's as if it made me want to let you win."
"That could be incredibly useful, especially in a position of defense." Carlilse commented.
"In a position of defense? As in fighting?" I asked.
"Precisely." Edward responded, smiling. I ignored his attempt at a lighter air, still irritated with him from our earlier conversation.
"How would that work?" I asked, still not quite getting it.
"We both had an advantage, which I didn't expect. I thought I would win with no effort, with my being able to read your thoughts. But it was the opposite. Your thoughts invaded mine, and I caught myself letting you win because of what you were thinking: you were trying to win. So in a fight, if you're trying to defend yourself, your thoughts make the other person want to lose, because that's what you want." He finished explaining, knowing I understood now.
"So you're basically saying I can manipulate someone's thoughts just by thinking about what I want?"
"I suppose you could think of it that way, even though it's more complicated than that. In a regular conversation, not really. But your thoughts were being projected at me, and that's how it affected your success. So in order to manipulate the other person's thoughts, you have to direct it towards them."
"But how? How would this be my gift? How can you read thoughts? What causes it?"
"My theory is that a gift reflects your human life. Edward was always sensitive to other's thoughts, so he can read minds. Jasper was always intuitive, stealthy, so he knows what your feeling and how to manipulate it. Alice could see even when she was human." I awed at Carlilse's response.
"How..? How would this be my gift though?"
"My guess is that perhaps you felt out of control in your human life, and others were effected by you easily. Hence the gravity and control."
"That's so cool." My thoughts drifted off, thinking about how I could test my new found powers out. Levitation, basically telekinesis, and mind manipulation. Sounded like something out of a Marvel comic.
"You're basically a super hero." Emmett said, walking into Carlilse's office, grinning at me.
"I wonder how it would work on mortals. And the wolves- would they be affected as easily?" Carlilse thought to himself.
By now the sun was coming up, just barely light outside. The grass and trees were wet- it'd been raining last night and I hardly noticed.
"Speaking of the wolves..." I began. "Do all of them stink?"
Edward chuckled. "You get used to it after a while. It's the worst right after they come back from patrols and training, where they're out all day. They reek like a pack of mutts, but when they're not phased for a while it's not as bad. It's usually right after they shower that they smell decent."
"How many of them are there?"
"Ten."
"Ten?"
"The most in Quileute history. Every couple years a new wolf joins the pack."
"Do they ever leave the pack?" I asked.
"Yes, but it depends. There are two that just left recently."
"Why did they leave?"
"So they can grow old with their imprint."
Edward read my question before I asked it.
"When they are in their phasing years, they don't age. As long as they're apart of the pack. Their imprint will age being human of course. A wolf can just decide to stop one day to be with them."
"They can just decide that? And they just don't phase anymore?"
"Exactly." He said.
"But what about Renesmee and Jacob? How does it work with them?" Edward gritted his teeth. This may be a sensitive topic.
"Sorry." He apologized. "They're... just beginning their romantic relationship. It's been difficult to get used to."
"Just beginning? What do you mean? I thought you'd known Jacob since Bella was human." He nodded.
"Jacob imprinted on Renesmee right after she was born."
My jaw dropped.
"What?" I asked, dumbfounded. He pursed his lips.
"It's not what you think. An imprint works according to the imprintee. When Renesmee was a baby, it was purely a protection relationship, there was nothing predatory or aligned with what you're thinking. As she grew up, rather quickly might I add-" Edward cut himself off, looking down. He looked... sad. He took in a breath.
"As she grew up," He continued, composing himself. "Their relationship changed. He was her protector, her best friend. They've always been best friends. And then now, in the last year, she's grown into a young woman. Her feelings for him have shifted, and they're just beginning to see each other differently. Less platonic." He spoke through his teeth, his jaw clenched.
"You don't like that." I stated.
He chuckled darkly. "Precisely."
"Will Jacob stop being a wolf, when Nessie stops aging?" I asked, hopefully making the subject lighter.
"No. Nessie will stop aging, yes. But she'll remain a young woman. She'll be like us, immortal. At least that's our theory. We already know that she will live a very long time compared to humans, but it's not known with her being a hybrid. Jacob will remain a wolf for as long as she's around." He spoke tensely. I decided to change the subject.
"Does the imprint relationship always end up romantic?"
Carlilse replied this time, seeing Edward's distress.
"Yes. But it depends on the imprintee and their feelings. When they're of age, the wolf always has feelings for the imprintee. But if the imprintee rejects the romantic relationship, the wolf will be whatever it is their imprint needs, a friend, a brother, a protector- regardless of their feelings for the imprint. They'll do whatever makes their imprint happy and safe." My eyebrows scrunched.
"So Jacob and Renesmee have known each other since Renesmee was born."
"Yes."
"And she's older now, and their relationship is romantic."
"Yes."
"But if it's assumed their relationship would become romantic from the get go, and Renesmee was very young... Wouldn't that be considered grooming?"
Edward growled at me. I stared at him in terror. He coughed, composing himself.
"I apologize. You have to understand, I've thought about all of this myself. If I had any say, any control over their relationship, I assure you it would not be happening." He was angry, trying to hide it. "However, I have no control over the matter. But he makes her happy, and that's all that truly matters to me."
I nodded. "I'm sorry, I've upset you." He nodded no.
"No, it's not your fault. You're curious. My feelings should not get in the way of you learning about our world."
There was an awkward silence for a moment, and then he spoke again.
"Your assumptions are wrong. When Renesmee was young, Jacob's thoughts were never predatory. There's never been a day that's he's looked at Renesmee with anything but adoration. He has never thought about when things would become romantic, never made assumptions. He's simply going by her lead, what she wants. If she decided that she didn't want to be with him, he would accept it. " He spoke with perfect clarity now, a tone of respect.
I was impressed. The man who imprints on your daughter, it's hard not to be angry with him. And it seemed Edward clearly didn't like it, but he respects Jacob. Edward nodded to me.
"Jacob has proved to be worthy for my daughter. He has stood by her side and made her happier than any human boy could. Him and I get along well." He chuckled. "I can't say it was the same whenever Bella was human, though." Emmett laughed with him now. "They wanted to rip each other's throats out." He said.
I wanted to ask more questions, but the sun was completely out now, shining brightly down on the trees. Alice had said that Jacob would be here with a few of his pack at sun up, that was as far as she could see. Nerves struck me then, invisible butterflies flittering around in my stomach. Not everyday you see giant wolves in your back yard. But then again, nothing was normal anymore.
We went to the back living room to wait. Renesmee was up now, clearly anxious.
"You okay, Ness?" I asked her. She nodded and gave me a bright smile.
"I miss Jake is all. I haven't seen him since yesterday morning, and he's been busy with the pack. I'm excited to see him." I nodded, noting the anxiety in her voice.
"Why are you nervous?" Nessie asked me, glancing at my twitching leg. I exhaled a breath.
"I've never seen a werewolf before." I said, a breathy laugh escaping my lips. She laughed with me. "Don't worry, the stories exaggerate. They're good people." I nodded, glancing out the giant windows. It was a beautiful morning.
"Hey Ness?"
"Yes?"
"Wanna go on a run with me later? It's really pretty."
She beamed at me like I made her day. "I would love that!"
A moment passed.
"You know, when Aunt Alice told me about you, I was really excited." She smiled at me, wrapping an arm around my waist, her head rested on my shoulder. You could tell this was common affection among this family- Alice and Rosalie had greeted me this way so much that I'd gotten used to it.
"You were?" Surprise evident in my voice.
"Yes! We're so close in age- I mean in physicality and mentality, not literally. I've never really had a girlfriend before. I mean, I have my aunts and my mom and Grandma Esme, but never someone my age that I could be- girly with? Normal? I just started going to high school, but with the online thing it's not the same, so it's difficult to make friends. But when I heard you were a teenage girl I was hoping we could be close friends and I know it's not the same because I'm not a normal teenage girl but-" She was rambling nervously now, afraid of my response. I laughed and that stopped her.
"Ness, I'd love to be friends. I've only ever really been friends with my brother, I've never had a girlfriend either." Her expression was adorable.
"Really?" She asked, bewildered. I laughed.
"Really." She hugged me tightly in response. "I'm so excited! We can do that thing that they do in the TV shows- this-" She squealed obnoxiously. I giggled, not minding the cliché, just enjoying her happy aura.
"Of course." And then a whiff of wet dog swooshed into the house. I gagged.
Nessie giggled at me. "Don't worry, I'll make Jake shower. He always smells better after." I nodded, giving her a smile. The nerves started up again.
"Come on, they're outside." Nessie took my hand in hers as we skipped out to the back yard, which basically was the woods.
And just as we stepped off the back porch, a gigantic wolf came out of the trees.
"Woah!" The surprise evident in my voice. Brown and russet colored, the wolf galloped right up to Renesmee and brought it's head down to hers to press it against her forehead. I stepped back subconsciously, while she stood comfortable in her place.
The wolf stepped back to scrutinize Renesmee, as if checking for injuries. After being satisfied with the examination, his tongue stuck out and licked her entire face.
"Ew, Jake!" Nessie giggled, wiping her face off and rubbing the slobber in between his ears on the top of his head. In response, he gave her a wide, wolfy grin.
The exchange was fascinating to watch. He was like a giant dog. My mind automatically thought of Clifford.
I heard a barking laugh from behind me, a strange sound. Edward came out of the house then, still laughing.
"That's brilliant, Jace." He said to me.
"What were you thinking?" Renesmee asked me curiously, wondering what made her dad laugh.
"She was comparing Jacob to Clifford." Edward chuckled again.
The wolf laughed this time, looking at me for the first time. I nervously smiled at it- him, not knowing what to do. He looked a Renesmee, and glanced back at me.
"Oh, Jake! This is Jace, our newest addition to the family!" Renesmee exclaimed, wrapping an arm around me. The word family crept up again- it made my chest feel warm. Jacob looked at Edward.
"Yes, vegetarian." Edward confirmed to him. Jacob glanced at me again and nodded to me, as if saying "nice to meet you".
"Hi.." I responded to him.
The wolf huffed and trotted back into the trees. I was confused. "Where's he going?" I asked Nessie.
"He's just phasing back and putting clothes back on." I nodded at her.
When he came back, he was human. Shirtless, but human. He had two others walking behind him, a man and a woman. I could tell Jacob was Jacob by his stance, the alpha male. He stood straight and tall and made a bee line for Renesmee. The man practically skipped to Edward and gave him a hug, which made me smile. Werewolves and vampires can be friends, too.
And the woman, with a similar stance to Jacob, but clearly with less authority- maybe the beta, stood awkwardly still, coming nowhere near us. I was stunned, my jaw dropping when I laid eyes on her.
The most noticeable thing about her- her hair. Long and straight, it fell over her shoulders and framed her face, so long you could tell she'd been growing it out for a few years. It's length reached her waist and emphasized her hips.
She was putting it up into a thick bun, soft baby hairs falling in front of her eyes. I had the strangest urge to move them behind her ears, to feel her cheek in my palm. In a single glance, you wouldn't be able to see how beautiful she was.
So I stared. Feeling my gaze, her eyes met mine.
I should have put my eyes to the ground, stopped staring at her. But it was even more difficult to look away when I caught sight of her eyes, hazel and green. In all of one moment, I was suddenly bewitched.
And she was staring at me too, just 10 feet away. Her lips parted, she hitched in a breath as if she was as bewitched as I was. Perhaps I was imagining it, but a gleam of light was suddenly there, in her irises.
Someone cleared their throat. I glanced over at them. Edward. He interrupted my ogling- I was already agitated with him.
"Jace, this is Seth and Leah." He introduced the other two. I gave a smile to Seth and looked at Leah again, not wanting to take my eyes off her.
Leah, that was her name.
"Hi." She said to me, walking closer, gracefully stepping over branches to close the distance between us. She held her hand out. I timidly took it into mine, amazed at the sudden energy I felt holding it.
"Hi." I said to her. Hi? Really? That's the best you can come up with?
"There's food in the kitchen that Esme's prepared if you're all hungry." He said, glancing at Jacob and Seth. Jacob was spinning Nessie in a circle, holding her to his chest. I was still holding Leah's hand. I didn't want to let go.
"When are we not hungry?" Seth laughed, skipping right into the house like it was his, after giving Leah a strange glance.
I let go of her hand, a strange dissatisfaction coming with it. As Renesmee and Jacob began walking into the house, I followed behind them, the urge to look back at Leah strong. I ignored it and continued back into the house.
Leah POV
I stood frozen, a few feet away from the steps of the Cullen house that I'd never once walked into. It had finally happened. All of these years after pining for Sam, for begging for someone to imprint on me, it finally happened. In all of a single moment, I cared for nothing but her now.
"Leah." I was so absorbed in my relief, in this new happiness I had, that I hadn't noticed the mind reader standing by. He hadn't gone back into the house with the others, and it disturbed me how close he was. I stepped a few feet away from him, half my mind in the house. I wanted to run in, and take her in my arms and hold her and tell her how grateful I was. Jace. My Jace.
"Leah." He spoke again, stern this time. I looked at him, his face was concerned.
"You can't tell her yet. I know it's exhilarating, what you're feeling. But you have to wait."
I sneered at him. "This is none of your business."
He spoke again, calmly. "Perhaps not. However, Jace is apart of my family now. She's a newborn. She's already overwhelmed. You have to plan your next move before you make a rash decision."
"What are you talking about? A newborn? Like the ones we fought?" I thought back to the battle, the 'baby leeches', we called them. Their heads always lashing around, their eyes never looking at one thing for very long. Their blood red eyes.
Jace had acted nothing like it. Skittish, maybe. But she was absolutely beautiful, nothing compared to the strange appearance of the newborns. She acted composed, and still. She seemed to have control, which the creatures in my memory didn't have at all.
"She has experienced so much pain, Leah. She has control of her thirst, her abilities. But we're still working on them with her. The trauma she has experienced is unmeasured, and if you come at her with this, you could push her over the edge. She's not ready."
"Trauma? How long has she been one of you?" He answered all of the unasked questions I had.
"A month. She's sixteen, or she was sixteen when she was turned. She's a very young immortal, still being tamed. She's easily put off." He explained, and continued. I was listening now, wanting to learn as much about her as possible.
"Carlilse found her in the road one night on his way back from the hospital near Seattle." He said, clearly not wanting to go further.
Seattle. All of these years, and she had been so close.
"In the road? She was dying?" He nodded. Pain, physical pain ached my chest at the image of her laying the middle of the street, dying and alone. The urge to hold her, to wrap her inside myself grew stronger.
Questions were all I had now.
"Give her time, Leah. She's still adjusting." He begged.
"Get out of my head." I spat at him. If she needed time, I would give her time. As much as I hated to think it, he knew more about her than I did at this point. But how would I be able to stay away from her? The ache increased at the thought of being away from her for any length of time. Even now, I wanted her near me. But imagining myself in that house, surrounded by leeches- I shuddered.
"You're welcome to come inside Leah. Esme has food in the kitchen. Just- don't overwhelm her. She's had enough of that." I sighed, and nodded at him. He walked into the house, satisfied with my response.
I stood there for another moment. I was agitated- I didn't like that he knew more about my imprint than I did. I suppose I would have to find a way to change that.
I took a step forward and shuddered again. Ugh. But she was inside, all I had to do was toughen up and walk. I shook it off. It didn't matter that there were a bunch of bloodsuckers inside anymore. It didn't matter that they were supposed to be my enemies. It didn't matter that even being in close proximity of them made my skin crawl. None of that meant anything anymore. If she was inside, that's all it would take for me to be able to walk in.
I took the last remaining steps, gathered all of my courage, and went inside the Cullen house for the very first time.