Before:
Sophie's fingers tangled in his hair and his hands cupped the back of her neck, pressing them closer together.
Eventually, Sophie ran out of air and broke away, panting.
They both caught their breath, and Fitz gave her a smile that melted the last of her defenses.
So she told him everything.
Every last bit.
Sophie had ten hails that she'd ignored.
She hadn't checked them, hadn't bothered to pick up her imparter and see who was hailing her.
Whoever it was, she didn't want to speak with them.
She was too angry.
She couldn't believe what Fitz had said! She'd told him the secret that wasn't hers, even though she'd promised not to, and it went against her resolve. And then he'd had the nerve to say... everything he'd said! Was she ALLOWED to make her own choices? Did she have ANY free will?
Sophie gripped her pillow and pulled, trying to rip the fabric. But apparently pillows were stronger than they looked, so she just looked like a psycho, punching and scratching at a pillow.
She didn't realize tears were pouring down her face until a drop splattered onto the bed.
Her imparter went off.
Another missed hail.
She didn't care enough to check. She cycled back through her memories of the day, and, even though she didn't want to, watched a replay of her fight with Fitz.
And tried to figure out where they went wrong.
"So you can't tell ANYONE, at all, because this is Marella's secret." Sophie finished, expecting Fitz to sit back stunned, or at least thank her for telling him. They were now sitting on his bed, so close their arms were touching. Sophie had tried to turn off the part of her brain that made her hyper-aware of any point of contact.
But he stayed silent. He pulled back from her, putting some distance between them.
"So... you got anything to say about it?" Sophie prompted, trying not to feel the inches between them.
But he still said nothing, and when he eventually spoke, it was NOT the words Sophie had expected. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Um, I just did." She reminded him.
"But why did you have to keep it a secret? Why did that have to be such a big thing?"
"Because I promised not to tell..." Sophie said slowly. "And it's not my secret anyway."
"Why would Marella want to keep it a secret, anyway?" Fitz crossed his arms, pout returning to his face.
"Um, because it's a huge turning point in her life and she doesn't want the attention? Or a bunch of people trying to get into the Healing Center? Besides, she wasn't the one to decide this. She isn't awake yet," Sophie crossed her arms in return. "She's still ASLEEP from going through a major TRAUMATIC and TIRING thing."
"Well, if I were her, I wouldn't keep it a secret."
"You aren't her! And again, she isn't awake yet!" Sophie was getting more and more annoyed by her usually sweet boyfriend's behavior.
"So? Why should they make this decision for her?"
"Why do you care?" Sophie frowned.
"I don't! It's just... why couldn't you tell me?" Fitz repeated.
"What are you even talking about?" Sophie said, beyond frustrated. "You already know that! And I told you anyway! Which, by the way, I am starting to regret!"
"But I had to convince you to tell me! You didn't trust me to keep that secret. And now I'm wondering... do you trust me at all?" Fitz narrowed his eyes.
"What are you- what?" Sophie did NOT like the way this conversation was headed. "Of course I trust you! But how many times do I have to tell you- I. PROMISED! This was not my secret!"
"Then why did you want to come over, if not to tell me?" Fitz said.
"Um, am I allowed to want to hang out with my boyfriend? Do I need a reason to want to see you?" She hoped that would end the argument, but Fitz only sighed.
"I just- I don't know if you trust me, and until you do, I can't trust you."
"WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Sophie shrieked. She was pretty sure there was steam coming out of her ears. "Trust? This is not about trust! This is about me being told something important and life-changing about a friend, and then telling you for SOME reason! I wanted to keep Marella's secret!"
"But it took you a while because you don't trust me!" Fitz retorted. His face was red with anger, and Sophie was sure hers was too.
"Okay. Okay," Sophie took a deep breath. "How about we talk about a different subject, and maybe talk about this tomorrow? After thinking about it for a while?"
Fitz nodded. "Okay, fine. Are you registering for the match?"
Bad idea. Sophie would have preferred the other subject.
"I... might not," she admitted. But after what happened to Juline and Dex, and now Jolie...
"What? Why?" Fitz obviously wasn't having the same reservations.
"I don't know. It's just really unfair and biased. Like, Stina's parents? They should have been a bad match, but their results were rigged, so they aren't. And people are treated so badly if they're a bad match."
"But you can always just get your lists and see if you like the people on them. Who knows, your perfect guy could be on your list."
Sophie had had many talks with Dex, and he shared her feelings. They had more experience and second-hand experience with being a bad match, since they had close family who were bad matches.
The scorn of being a bad match was bad, yes, and any children they had would have a harder life, but...
"I just feel that if I sign up, I'm saying that everything that happened to my aunt and uncle, and to my cousins was okay. And everything that's happening to Jolie and Brant. I don't want to support a system that would cause all that pain."
Sophie heard the hope in her voice. She wanted Fitz to understand, to not care about matchmaking. But he turned away.
"But that would guarantee that you'd be a bad match," he protested. "Do you want to go through that?"
"I can handle it," she said.
"But... if you don't register, then you won't be on my lists." Fitz faced her and took her hands. "This is a big decision. Shouldn't we make it together?"
Sophie couldn't stop the incredulous laugh from bubbling up in her throat. "No, Fitz. My life, my choice."
"But this affects me, too!" Fitz told her, his eyebrows knitting together like he couldn't possibly understand why she was refusing.
"Sure it does." Sophie rolled her eyes. "It affects you, and Biana, and Dex, and Linh, and Tam, and Maruca, and Keefe. It affects everyone I know!"
"So this is about Keefe?" Fitz's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I knew it!"
"What the heck are you talking about?" Sophie placed her hand on her hips, standing up and stepping away from the bed where they sat.
"Oh, come on! I'm sure Keefe made you say that so I would break up with you!" Fitz retorted, rising to his feet.
"MADE ME?" Sophie asked, her anger simmering, almost at a boil. "You think Keefe MADE me do anything? And why would he want us to break up?"
It was Fitz's turn to laugh. "You really don't know?"
"Know what?" Sophie asked, before shaking her head. "Never mind, it doesn't matter. All you need to know is that this is MY decision, and has nothing to do with anything!"
"But if you don't register, and aren't on my list, then we couldn't date!"
"Why? Why, Fitz? Do you really care that much about your reputation and image? You care more about what people think of you than you care about me?" Sophie really wanted to know, but she was scared of what he might say.
Fitz hesitated. And that was enough.
"Fine! Fine!" Sophie knew her voice was reaching hysterical levels, but she didn't care. Tears formed in her eyes but she swiped them away. "If you care more about your image than me, then you can make your own choice! I've made mine! I will not be registering for the match, and you can choose how to react to that!"
"Well, I guess that leaves us nowhere, doesn't it," Fitz's voice seemed steady enough, but his face was twisted with anger and sadness.
"I suppose it does," Sophie answered, surprised by her steady hand as she held her home crystal up to the light. "Be seeing you, Fitz."
Sophie wiped away the tears that poured down her face. It was hard to believe that they had only been together for a few weeks. It seemed so much longer than that.
They had been friends for so long.
She had liked him since Level One, just like all the other girls. After becoming friends with Biana, she'd come over to their house as much as possible, trying to spend more time with him. She had never thought he'd returned her feelings... until he did.
The crush cuffs he'd gotten her were sitting on her desk.
Around them was every present he'd ever gotten her, in no particular order.
Every necklace, picture, charm, figurine, toy, projection, everything.
It was all there.
Sophie picked up the first one.
It was a flaredon figurine, Gildie. She had swept in one day while Keefe, Fitz, Biana, and Sophie were playing Base Quest on the front lawn. Keefe had felt her fear and coldness, and working together, all four of them had started a fire right there and saved her life.
Gildie was at the sanctuary, and had been for years, but whenever Sophie looked at the figurine, she was reminded of the life she'd saved.
The next present was a riddler. This one was from before they were friends, when Fitz only knew her as Biana's friend. The pen was silly and boring, but it reminded her of him.
She picked up the next gift: an empty tin. It had been filled with ripplefluffs, that Fitz had baked himself. He'd given them to her only a few days ago, after they'd started dating. She remembered the anxious look on Fitz's face when he handed them to her.
"I wanted to get you something special, that I had made myself," he had told her. "So you'll always know that I care."
Sophie turned away from the table, suddenly unable to keep looking at the proof of their relationship. A few tears leaked through her eyes, and suddenly they were pouring down her cheeks. A few ugly sobs escaped, and Sophie threw herself on her bed and cried until she couldn't cry anymore. When the Great Ruewen Tearfest, as Keefe would call it, was over, she stood up and went to her mirror to check on her puffy red eyes.
She needed a distraction.
And there was only one person who was always good at distracting her from everything she didn't want to think about. After making sure all traces of the crying was gone from her face, she did the only thing she could.
She hailed Keefe.
"Hey, Ruewen," Keefe's handsome face filled the screen. There was a hint of pain in his eyes, which he quickly blinked away. "What's up? Get bored of Fitzy?"
Sophie's face twisted, and she tried to smooth it out as fast as she could.
But it wasn't fast enough.
"Hey, what's wrong? What did I say?" Keefe asked with concern.
Sophie shook her head, unable to speak.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" His eyebrows pinched together.
Sophie shook her head again.
"Okay... do you want to come here? Or should I come there?"
Keefe coming to Havenfield would raise too many questions from her parents, and the last thing she wanted was for Fitz to hear about it. But going there...
"Are you at your house?" She tried to take in the view behind him, but all she could see was grass.
"No, I'm in a random meadow. I like coming here sometimes. It's... peaceful. Away from... you know."
She did. So she decided to go there. Even if Keefe could read her emotions, she wanted to be there in person. She needed an actual distraction, not just a chat over an imparter.
"Hang on, I'll be there soon." After Keefe instructed her how to get there, she clicked off and checked her hair and clothes in the mirror, brushing off any dirt and making sure her braid was still intact. When she was ready, she ran down to the leapmaster, and called out the name Keefe had given her.
When she glittered into the grass, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the blinding sun, she gasped.
The meadow was beautiful.
Soft grass bent under Sophie's feet and the sun glistened off the dew on the multi-colored flowers. A soft breeze whisked through the forest around them, smelling of cinnamon and other spices Sophie couldn't even begin to identify.
"Wow, Keefe," she breathed, turning a slow circle. "This is..."
"Almost as beautiful as me," Keefe smirked. "Although it isn't quite as handsome."
Sophie laughed and crossed the meadow to where Keefe lay stretched out in the sunlight. She couldn't help notice that his shirt didn't quite cover all of his stomach, exposing a small strip of tan skin.
She felt herself blush and hoped Keefe didn't notice it. But the way his smirk grew made her think he did.
"So, what did you need to talk about?" Keefe asked.
"Um, nothing." Sophie hoped he wouldn't press her, but of course, he did.
"See, I don't think that's right. You're sending off a LOT of 'I need to talk' vibes," he told her.
"Am I?" she tried his trick of answering a question with a question, but it didn't work.
"Yup! So what's up? And why are you feeling... hmm... may I?" Keefe didn't wait for her answer and snatched her wrist. "Wow, that is a LOT of anger! And it's not even all directed at me! That's a change. There's also some sadness, and shoot, you got some guilt. So I gotta ask... what's causing all the throw-up feels?"
Sophie wrenched her arms out of his grip and glared at him half-heartedly. In truth, she HAD come here to talk. Yes, she WANTED a distraction, but maybe that wasn't what she NEEDED.
"Fine. I just... I told someone something I shouldn't have." Sophie braced for Keefe to ask what that something was.
"Hmm... that explains the guilt... which should NOT be happening, by the way. I'm sure you had your reasons for telling them, and that the something wasn't, like, a Forgotten Secret or anything, so let's put that guilt away before you get in trouble." Keefe waited until she nodded before saying, "But why the sadness and the super large, T-Rex-sized load of anger?"
"Well... that someone was Fitz," she confessed.
"So? Shouldn't he have been all, 'thank you so much for telling me that, my darling pumpkin dove flower honeybear!' And then you kiss and make out for a bit, and then-"
"Stop there, please," Sophie held up her hand, not wanting to know what he was going to say next. "I kind of expected that reaction, to be honest," she admitted. "But I maybe sorta promised not to tell anyone, because it wasn't my secret, and I still told him anyway, and then he got all mad because it took me a while to tell him, and then he said he didn't trust me, and-"
"Wait, what?" Keefe interrupted. "He convinced you to tell him a secret that you promised not to, and then said that he didn't trust you?"
"Well, it was because he thought I didn't trust him enough to tell him, and then he said that if I didn't trust him, then he couldn't trust me."
"What- that- what?" Keefe shook his head. "Someone is just asking to get cornobbled. So I'm guessing you turned on your Reuwen charm, and then he was like, 'actually, I love you and trust you!' and then you kissed and everything?"
"Um, no. not exactly," Sophie hedged. "I kinda... changed the subject? And then... it got worse."
"How?" Keefe had a crease between his eyebrows, as though he was actually concerned and not just trying to humor her.
"He... brought up matchmaking."
Keefe sucked in a breath. "Did you tell him you weren't planning on registering?"
"How did you-" Sophie started.
"I know you," Keefe said. Was that a blush on his cheeks? "I mean, I can read how anxious and stuff you get whenever someone mentions matchmaking."
"Yeah, anyway. I did tell him. And he..." Sophie trailed off, squeezing her eyes shut. Then she had a better idea. "Do I have permission to enter your mind?"
"Creepy telepath stuff alert! Why do you want to enter my mind?" Keefe shifted upright.
"I want to show you my memory of the fight," She told him. Minus the bit about Marella's new ability. As soon as the thought crossed her mind, she felt guilty. Here she was, stressing and crying about boy troubles when Marella's whole life was messed up and changed. She was a horrible person.
"Hey, why all the guilt, again?" Keefe asked gently. "You don't have to show me if you don't want to. And you do have permission to enter my mind, as creepy as that sounds."
Sophie shook her head. "It's not about that, it's... never mind." She reached for his temples, and Keefe stiffened for a split second before relaxing.
It was that moment that Sophie noticed how close they were sitting. Their knees were almost touching, and-
"Seems like your mood just shifted, Ruewen," Keefe said, his lips curving into a crooked grin. "Mind telling me why?"
Sophie ignored him, blushing, and pressed her fingers to her forehead. "Okay, here... we... go!" She transmitted the entire fight, starting when Fitz brought up matchmaking.
When it was over, Keefe just stared at her. His eyes were bright, but not with happiness. With anger. He took deep breaths, in and out over and over again until his clenched fists relaxed and his face lost its tension. His mouth formed many words, but he didn't say any of them, and the shapes his lips formed (why was she looking at his lips?) were different from the words that eventually came out of them.
"You know, if you don't register, no one's going to care," Keefe told her.
Sophie raised her eyebrows. "Right, that really showed how much no one was going to care."
"No, I mean it," Keefe insisted. His hands reached forwards as though he was about to grab hers, but decided against it and remained at his sides. "Actually. Fitz was just reacting in the moment. He does that a lot, you know? He didn't mean anything he said. He was... I don't know. I think that he asked that initial question because he wanted you to say a specific answer, and when you didn't give him that answer, he got angry."
"You know, this isn't helping me think anything better of Fitz right now." She rolled her eyes. "You're basically telling me he was mad because I didn't do what he wanted me to do."
"Not exactly..." Keefe trailed off for a second. "It was more like... he was scared of the situation, and he didn't like that feeling. So he got angry at the situation, and he took it out on you."
Sophie sighed. "Okay... I guess. But we aren't getting back together until he doesn't react that badly to that response. I mean, he's probably getting his lists soon anyway."
"Maybe," Keefe shrugged. "I mean, he registered and filled out his packet and all that, but... he might wait to get his first list. And before you worry... no, I have not registered."
"Why?"
"Just waiting to see how a few things shake out."
Suddenly, Sophie's imparter went off. She sighed and reached out to answer it, checking to name. "It's Edaline, I'd better answer." She maneuvered herself so Keefe wasn't in view and answered.
"Sophie Ruewen, where. Have. you. Been?" Edaline demanded. "I hailed you ten times! I thought you were at Fitz's, so I hailed them, but they said you had left! I tried every single one of your friends, even Keefe, and they said you weren't there!" Sophie winced. She'd ignored a bunch of hails, but she'd never considered they'd been from her mom. Oh, the irony; she'd been in her room the whole time. "I thought you might have gone to the Healing Center, so I hailed Elwin, but he said you hadn't come! I had no idea where you were, you could have been faded or lost or something and you have no right to worry me like that!"
Edaline was breathing hard in the imparter, obviously furious.
Sophie winced again. "Okay, I'm coming! Bye!" She clicked off the imparter before Edaline could say anything else, and fumbled to get her home crystal. "Sorry, Keefe I have to go. And... thanks," she said softly, glancing over at him. "You... really helped."
"Like I said, Ruewen. Anytime. Anytime." The last word was so quiet it was a whisper, and before she could stop herself Sophie kissed him quickly on the cheek (so lightly she hardly felt his warm skin under her lips), and scampered back, holding her crystal up to the light and leaping away.
That was a little more Sokeefe than before... awww
Also, Fitz is kinda a jerk in this... I needed an excuse for them to break up and I have no imagination so... yeah
Leave a comment if you liked it!