CHAPTER FOURTEEN
ᴠᴀᴍᴘɪʀᴇ
I left early enough in the morning to be able to avoid Mrs Rochester on the way out. Breakfast time was beginning to feel like torture, having to force down the same grubby food down my throat day on end, Mr Rochester sitting silently with his dark cup of coffee at the end of the table. It didn't help that I'd been prolonging the days between each feed, adding a day onto my fasting to test how long I could go. Eating and hunting felt like too much of a chore to ever be enjoyable any more, thanks to my heightened need of blood.
Forks was back to being foggy again, and as I walked to school, the mist was damp even against my cold skin. The branches dropped under the weight of last nights rain that collected on the tips, of which I'd watched safely from the tiny window of my bedroom.
When I arrived at school, Jessica located me immediately, grabbing my elbow so she could pull me quickly to the front doors, looking out over the car park.
"There you are," she said, as if she'd been looking for me. "You've got to see this."
I searched the car park, eyes immediately drawing toward a shiny convertible, cherry red. It was parked when the Cullens would usually park. Then I noticed why. Rosalie was the first to step out, blonde hair flipping over her shoulder as she shut the door behind her, expensive purse slinging over her shoulder. The rest followed, Emmett finding his place by her side, Jasper... and Alice behind them.
Apparently my look said enough, as Jess exclaimed, "I know right!" Then her jaw dropped. "Oh. My. God."
"What now?" I asked. She just pointed.
Edward's silver Volvo pulled into the space beside Rosalie's convertible in one swift movement. Edward stepped out with his inhumanly elegance, sliding to the back of his car where he met... Bella. Jessica was gaping, Bella's jacket handing from on her arm. I chuckled, shaking my head as the pair walked toward us, standing closely, but not close enough to touch. As they stopped in front of us, Jess hurried to hand over the jacket, jealousy heating her face.
"Thanks for remembering," Bella said.
"Good morning, Jessica," the words melted from his mouth.
She stuttered out a response, "uh hi. I'll see you in Trig."
Jessica hurried away after a look that screamed 'I want to know everything' was shot toward Bella. I paused for a moment glancing between the two, figuring what I could possibly say.
"Good morning, Elide," Edward finally broke the silence.
I couldn't tell if it was sincere. Edward had probably mastered that charming stair and soft look decades ago, and it was much too strong, even for my piercing eyes. So, I smiled with thin lips and replied politely.
"Good morning, Edward," I said, watching as Bella's shoulders obviously deflated. "I trust your dinner was fun last night."
Edward smirked and Bella flushed even darker, her hair dropping to shield her face.
"I'll be on my way."
After school, I didn't return straight to my room. Instead I hunted, giving in to the pounding in my head and squeezing of my stomach that had reduced my movements in the day to little more than average. The forest was quiet, void of any walkers and tourist- something I loved about Forks. But I knew that I'd have to start going further, as I had the other week.
The woods in Forks were perfect for after I'd fed. I brought a book, hidden below the broken branches by one of the trees, far enough out to be isolated but close enough to the town to be able to hear the distant and quiet rumble if I strained my ears. The air was fresher here, brushing against my skin and reminding me that I wasn't the coldest thing out there. It was also a place where I wasn't the oldest living thing. I could sit amongst ancient trees, tightly knit together, weaving as far as even I could see.
I sat by the tree, folding out the crumpled pages of the small yellowing book. Ernest Hemingway. I opened at the last page I'd read- it'd been years ago now- but I continued still. My eyes floated to the scribbled pencil on the paper, the smudge of charcoal where great pressure had broken the tip.
The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.
It was almost comical, how true that quote seemed to be for me. The world had broken me, killed me quite literally at the sharp fangs of a monster. And now, where I'd once been weak, I was strong. My hiding, the camouflage I'd painted myself in, was my gift.
It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially.
I shut the book quickly, snapping the pages together so my eyes wouldn't trail over those lines any longer. But I could smell her, again. That familiar scent that floated around the school, masking everything. Alice was quickly approaching. She was moving with me as her destination.
Worry filled my body. What else could she want from me except a confession, or at least an explanation? But how could I give her one? I wanted to tell them. But I wanted to tell them in my own time. Especially now that it was clear that Bella knew about Edward and his family.
I kept my head down, trying to ignore her, to act as if I'd not sensed her coming. She stopped like a blur in front of me, eyebrows raising as I didn't move.
I didn't say anything, and she paused. "We know you know what we are," Alice said.
I let my chin lift, eyes finally meeting her soft stare, eyes twinkling. Her comment wasn't unexpected. In fact, I'd anticipated it for a while.
"How?" I asked, pushing for my voice to come out strong. I wouldn't deny it.
She ignored my question. "We just don't know what you are." Her head tilted, she smiled. "Yet."
I didn't say anything, I couldn't. There was a question in her statement that I couldn't answer.
Truth was a subjective thing. What was good for one may be inherently bad for another. And besides, I'd shared that truth once before with another, and that pathway had lead me down a road of harm that I didn't wish to retake. More than that, what right did they have to ask for my truth? It was mine to share, and mine alone. I couldn't force myself to tell her it straight- no matter how much I wanted to. It was safer that way- that's what I told myself.
Alice floated around the tree to sit at my side. "You can trust us you know," she said.
It had only been yesterday in which I told myself I could trust the Cullens. But to tell the truth you had to be brave. And courage was another thing I was lacking. I shook my head firmly, eyes shifting to avoid that gaze I'd been desperate to rid my mind of earlier. Not yet.
"I don't trust any of you," I said.
"Why not?" The question was plain enough, but I still found myself gasping for an answer. Perhaps I did trust them- I just didn't trust myself.
"I'm sure you can imagine why."
My response was weak but I forced myself to hold her stare.
"I can. Edward doesn't trust you either," she chuckled, as if the whole situation was nothing more than petty drama to her. "And I'm almost sure it's for the same reason."
My eyebrows furrowed. For the same reason?
She noticed my look. "Be careful of your thoughts. They're more revealing than you think," she said.
"What?" I gasped out, confusion taking over me. What did this have to do with my thoughts? Why did they matter? How could she know?
"You can trust us," she said.
I turned, opening my mouth to reply. But then I noticed her face, her body.
Alice was still. Not the kind of elegant stillness that took over her in the cafeteria or by her car, as I'd noticed before. No, the kind of stillness that came with death, the dark moments after life had slipped away. But hers had already gone potential decades ago, and in its place was unearthly beauty, that was now rigid and motionless like a crumbling statue, years in decay.
"Alice?" I said, hoping my voice would break her trance. "Are you alright?"
She did nothing. Said nothing. Alice stared forward with glossy eyes, as if she hadn't heard a thing. I let my hands reach out to her, placing themselves gently on each shoulder. I shook gently, then more harshly as she didn't reply.
"Alice!"
She gasped, eyes blinking rapidly as she looked toward me.
"I'm fine," she said softly, though it was clear she was still occupied by whatever had taken her moments ago.
Alice glanced down to my hands that were still holding her arms. I removed then quickly, rubbing my palms against my side. She smiled.
"You look like you've seen a ghost," I mumbled out.
"Would it be that surprising?"
She laughed, and I let myself follow, the gentle sound of her voice coaxing it out from within me, as if it were contagious. Alice blinked again, her wide, fairy-like gaze watching me wholly.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Elide," she said, then sprinted off as if the conversation hadn't even happened.
☾
I really would like to know what your
thoughts are on what's just
happened, I've been
waiting
ages to post this chapter!