✫ ✧ ˚ . * ✷ ˚ ✫
"Mhmm... fuck." you breathe out, swallowing another moan as Seokjin's plump lips latch onto your clit while his long and slim fingers are busy pumping inside your clenched hole.
"This pretty pussy," he sneers against your heat, before he starts to suck your little bundle of nerves all over again.
It's around eight in the morning, meaning you still got at least ten minutes before Yoojin wakes up. If it weren't for his occasional cries, you'd sleep like you haven't in a long time. Maybe the reason behind your good sleep was the person sleeping next to you, or you just enjoyed someone else's warmth next to you. Seokjin would wake up with you, groggily groaning whenever you were already standing up to get your son, watching you in the darkness while you bounced him in your hands, trying to get him to sleep. It was something you weren't aware of, until you found out he was still awake, waiting for you to return to bed.
Even though the night with him was great, you've never expected him to wake up a few minutes after you, ready to devour you all over again. This time, only using his mouth and fingers.
"Hmm..." he hums, as if he's savoring the taste of your arousal, is just enough to buckle your hips against his face.
Your back arches from the couch's, thighs dangerously caging his head from all the pleasure he gives you just with his mouth and fingers. You pull his hair, a deep groan vibrating in his chest sends a wave of incredible pleasure all over your body,
"Cum for me." he murmurs, enough for you to hear but still careful not to be extremely loud.
With more few pumps and his tongue flicking your clit in animalistic pace, you're chocking up on your moans as you're cumming. Your mouth fully agape, tears prickling the corners of your shut eyes are just natural reaction, your heat sucking his fingers in as he swallows your cum mixed with arousal. When overstimulation starts to kick in, you nudge his head before he gets the clue, licking your swollen heat for the last time before he pulls away.
His big lips are coated with your cum, shining in the natural lightening as you curse at the sight. He smirks, swiping it off with his finger before he puts it in his mouth, sucking on it as he cleans it. You watch him doing it with the rest of the fingers, where your arousal and cum is still clear, feeling your heat pulse.
That was incredible.
You sit up, pulling down your shirt before he plops onto the couch next to you.
"Are we going to talk about what happened?" you ask, breath caught in your throat from the intense orgasm you've just experienced.
"I ate you out, what's there to talk about?" he chuckles, showing you his white teeth while his eyes are focused on you.
"Jin," you whine, the corners of his mouth lifts at the nickname rolling out of your tongue. It's been a few months when you started calling him that and he enjoys it every time you say it. "I'm serious."
"So am I."
It still takes you at least five seconds to get used to him joking and fooling around.
"Do you think us having sex was a good idea?" you ask him with a murmur, pulling your shirt down your thighs even though you feel the uncomfortable wetness pooling between your legs.
Maybe you should've used the bathroom to clean yourself before starting this topic, but there's no turning back. Especially when all amusement wipes off his face instantly, a hardened gaze staring right back at you. It makes your shoulders tense and your arms hugging yourself, taken back by the sudden change of atmosphere.
However, when he notices your body language he relaxes his expression and licks his lips slowly, before a raspy voice reaches your ears.
"Are you regretting that it happened? Because I asked you if you're sure." he says, points out the small fact that brings you back to yesterday night, night full of kisses and deeper connection. It's weird, he almost sounds hurt asking that.
"No, I know that. I don't regret it, Do you?" you tell him quickly, watching him shaking his head.
"I don't. But why are you asking me this then?" he sounds genuinely confused, and you know you're confusing him every second you don't response.
Quickly gathering yourself, you give him a tiny smile before you sigh.
"I don't regret us having sex. It felt... nice. And different than the other times and I know something has changed, I'm not sure whether you felt it too or not..." you trail off, catching a glimpse of him but he only stares at you.
He doesn't confirm it, nor deny it which leaves your comment ignored but him not denying it means something. Right?
"I know you're not used to talk about your feelings openly, or about any situation that's close to it. And I don't wanna pressure you into anything. I'm not used to it either, well, not with you. We've never really talked about such things so openly, or ever actually. All I wanted to say is, that I don't think it was a smart move... us having sex. Even though, I don't regret it."
He stays quiet for a solid five seconds as he scratches his cheekbone, but opens his mouth.
"I'm not quite sure what this is about." he admits.
"Well," you start, "think about it this way. It happened, and it's okay and we don't regret it. But if we keep doing this, Yoojin will grow up seeing us close and I don't want him to be confused in the future. I know we still got a lot of time before he truly starts to realize this, but it's better to put pause or stop this while we can. You're still married, and imagine us being intimate again. He will just grow confused, wondering if we're together or not. I'm a single woman, but I want to find someone in the future. As much as I've enjoyed last night, I can't keep doing this with you. I know we both agreed to it, but I need to respect myself as a woman more. I don't think us doing this again would do some good."
God, you really enjoyed feeling his lips and hands all over your body. You truly did. That night was special, whether he acknowledges it the same way like you do or not. You're not necessarily someone who wants to put labels on things, as long as there was consent on both parts, there shouldn't be any issue with that. You're a grown up woman who can decide what she wants. But you're also a mother, which is a huge responsibility and you can't keep acting like that young woman who couldn't get enough of the CEO in a black suit and shitty attitude. He has changed, for the better, something you've never thought you would get to see. And fuck, how proud you are of him. You really are.
But not even that means, you're going to jump back into the previous relationship the two of you had.
There's another person in your lives, your son, who's going to grow up and sense your relationship from a far. You can't act irresponsible just because he's good in bed and you've a weird chemistry going on. Your son is much important than your secret desires and lust.
"I understand," he says slowly, biting onto his inner cheek before he sighs. "I think you're right. I should've thought of it sooner."
"Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. I want you to know, I really enjoyed last night and it gave me a different perspective. But as of now, I think we should focus on him rather than our hormones."
You obviously find each other attractive, you always did. If you didn't, you two wouldn't have secret rendezvous and nine months old son right now.
And although, you want to kiss those juicy lips again and utilize him being getting more open and affectionate, you can't let it affect the future.
"You're right," he nods, palms slapping against his thighs as he stands up. "No more kissing and sex. Got it." he chuckles, causing you to do the same, although you're pushing back the pout that wants to settle on your lips.
Idiot, you were the one who came up with this.
But it feels like the right thing to do so.
"Yeah," you nod, standing up with him as you cringe at the feeling between your legs. "I need to clean myself before Yoojin wakes up."
"I've some errands to run," he says, picking up his phone from the coffee table as he puts it into his raven black slacks. God, the image of him eating you out in his suit is devilish. "Will you be fine?"
"Of course," you smile up at him, "Will you come for the dinner tonight?"
He barely misses your dinner. There were times you wanted to bring him a homemade lunch, a surprised visit by you and Yoojin in his company, but you don't want to push things. You're not sure if you'd cross some lines. Plus, you know how busy he is.
You're thinking about making a Chinese food, or traditional Korean, whatever he chooses.
"Actually, I don't think I'll make it tonight," he answers, scratching the back of his neck as your shoulders fall in disappointment. "I'll text you."
"Yeah, sure." you muster a smile, biding a goodbye as you rush yourself to the shower.
You hear him padding around the apartment for a couple of minutes, before he shuts the front door with a soft click. It leaves you letting out a saddened sigh, turning on a warm water that covers your naked and shivering body.
✫ ✧ ˚ . * ✷ ˚ ✫
It's weird how in span of a few months this place feels foreign, even though he spent a good amount of his life here. He remembers he spent hours in a meeting with one of the best architectures and interior designers he could find in Seoul, trying to create a perfect vision of his taste and home. It's comical that no matter how much of a personal touch he gave to this place, it never felt like a true home. At first, he never realized it until now. It feels cold, unlocking the wide black wooden front door, and even the scent of it makes him want to turn around and leave.
It doesn't smell like your apartment. There is no scent of cherry blossom diffuser or baby powder, something he misses and got used to quite quickly.
And it doesn't matter if this house is huge and has a better interior, when there's no feeling to it. The whole house feels like a ghost town, empty and lonely and that's why a rustling sound takes him by surprise.
Taking his shoes off, he ignores the dust that's settled on the shoe rack, wondering if she ever took a mop into her hands and cleaned herself. The charwoman he hired got sick, so she hasn't been coming to the house to clean it and he forgot to call another one in the meantime. It's safe to say he didn't even care when he's spending most of his time in his office or at your place. Pathetically, he thought his hard-working' wife would clean it herself.
He follows the sound, realizing it's coming from the kitchen as he takes off his suit jacket while walking there.
She might not be cleaning, but he's definitely shocked to see her rustling with pots and the weird smell of something that's simmering in the pan. She turns around, ready to check her unlocked and bright phone, but she notices him causing her to gasp in shock.
"Fuck, you scared me!" she exclaims, holding her chest as she breathes through it. "You came home?" she asks surprised, still trying to calm down her beating heart while her husband just stares at her.
He decides to give her a brief nod, tossing his suit jacket onto the kitchen island as he leans against it with his hand. "What are you doing?"
"Cooking." she answers, tapping onto the screen of her phone that lightens up with something that looks like a recipe.
Well, he can see that. He hasn't seen her standing behind the stove, trying to cook something, ever. And whatever this is, he doesn't comment it and stares at her focused face.
She cut her hair short, but other than that she looks just exactly the same. She's wearing a tight red dress, a complete opposite of your loose baggy shirt that you always wear at home. Her hair is sleek, perfectly styled as if she's going somewhere but she's not. He knows that because she wouldn't waste her time trying to cook, if she had somewhere else to be. When you cook, you always put your hair into a messy bun or ponytail, so it doesn't go into your eyes and face.
He has no clue why he keeps comparing you to her, but both of you are so different. It's almost a complete opposite and he wonders how possibly he could have felt attracted to the both of you. You're both glorious women, although you're so different from each other.
She closes one of the cupboards, reaching for the glass of red wine as she slowly sips from it, glancing at him through her black lashes.
"Can we talk?" he asks, seeing she has no intention talking first.
It's weird how calm she acts, no jabbing or comments on his sudden visit.
"About what?" she hums, placing the glass back down before she licks her lips.
"This marriage," he answers, causing her to freeze in her spot before she pokes her inner cheek with the tip of her tongue. "It's not working out."
He lacks of empathy, and it's shame that he as her husband can't really read her emotions, but he's not blind. He can see how she clenches her sharp jaw, ready to snap at him any second but she calmly grips the edges of kitchen counter.
"Who said it's not working out?" she manages to say through clenched teeth, staring at the marble instead.
"I did. Just now," he shrugs, sounding careless which makes her blood boil. "I don't plan on sugarcoating anything. I wanna divorce you, but I thought you should hear it from me first, before my lawyer contacts you."
The good thing is, that she placed the glass down before he dropped this bomb onto her. It'd surely end up on the floor right now, along with her dignity.
"You–You can't just do this!" she exclaims, trying to find her voice and fight the shock while she glares at him. "Why are you doing this?"
"Why are you acting so shocked? I barely spend my time here, I don't come home anymore and we're nothing but roommates at this point."
"That's not the point!" she shoots back, causing him to sigh.
He really doesn't want to raise his voice, he remains calm while his wife is ready to burst any second.
"And what is? I don't see the point in this ridiculous marriage." he tells her honestly, but that only makes her fume even more.
"You're fucking unbelievable! So, just because you've a son now, you suddenly don't need me?"
"Let's not go there." he warns her, eyes furrowing as she has the audacity to bring him into this. He wanted to do this calmly, but if she utters a single bad word about his son, he's going to snap.
"How about let's go there?" she barks, trashing with her hands. "So, now that I can't have your children I am nothing? I'm not worth of being your wife, is that it? But she is, right? You're going to marry her and have a family with her."
He sees nothing but jealously and anger. Some part of him knew she's going to bring you into this. No matter how many months has passed, you're always ticking her nerves.
"Don't talk nonsense," he sighs, "She has nothing to do with this. I'm doing this for my son, and for me. We don't love each other, this marriage was just a plan for the both of us. Don't act like there were any feelings involved."
She purses her lips, knowing he's saying the truth. She doesn't love him, she loved the fact how wealthy he is and what can he give her. Having his kid would be just an insurance of having the rest of her life taken care of. She wouldn't have to worry about money, place to live in or designer clothes that are practically spilling from her huge closet.
"Still, you can't treat me like shit."
"Am I? I'm standing here, telling you my decision before my lawyer could. How is that me treating you like shit? I wasn't the best husband, I'm aware of that. But I gave you everything you pointed your little finger at. That was just enough for you, wasn't it?"
He doesn't even bring up the whole topic of her using him for the money. He's not here to fight.
His voice is firm, but still calm which makes her taken back by his attitude. She notices how round his cheeks got, he looks better than when she had last seen him. It makes her wonder if you're behind it.
"Do you love her?" she mutters, clenching her jaw as her knuckles whiten at how tight she grips the counter.
He almost wants to laugh out loud at her jealously. She doesn't even love him, yet she's getting jealous just from the thought of him having feelings for someone else that's not her. She has so many men wrapped around her finger, he's not particularly scared of her ending up alone. She'll find someone else before she even properly signs the papers. But here she is, getting jealous and angry just because she isn't the one who got him better.
"No," he answers simply, "I care about my son."
"So, you barely staying here is just because you care about your son?" she sounds skeptical, but there's still hatred in her voice.
He's not sure what he feels towards you. But he knows he never felt about anyone that way. It's not love, it can't be. But he cares about you. Maybe it's because you're his son's mother, he thinks.
"I made the decision," he starts, watching her attentively. "to become a better father."
"How touching." she snorts, rolling her eyes at him which makes him take a deep breath.
"You know, one day when you decide to adopt a kid,"
She wouldn't, he knows that. She doesn't like kids to begin with. It's a random thought, but he's glad you ended up pregnant instead of her. He can see it in your eyes how happy you're whenever you look at Yoojin, and maybe it wasn't planned pregnancy, but you wouldn't change him for anything. He knows his son is in good hands and couldn't have a better mother.
Who knows, maybe if she had her own baby, things would change. But he doubts it.
"You might understand what it feels like. Until then, you're never going to understand why I did this."
Her face scrunches in a painful manner, but she embraces herself and holds her head high.
"She's just another bitch trying to screw you over, using your son."
She's hurt, he can see it in her eyes, despite of them never being so close. It's the anger, jealously and even hatred speaking out of her but that doesn't justify her attitude.
"Ara." he warns her, growling at her as she puts her hand in front of her stopping him.
"No, she's already doing it. She's using your son to get to you, and look how that turned out!"
"She's not you, Ara," he tells her, her mouth opening in disbelief as he takes his suit jacket off the counter. "You can keep the house if you want. That's all I can give you."
"I'll ruin you." she spits.
"No, you won't." he tells her, causing her to slap her hands onto the top of the counter but he doesn't budge, raising a brow at her.
"I'll strip you off your money, you'll have nothing." she threatens, causing him to smirk as he chuckles lowly.
"Try it," he shrugs, "But before you can even make a plan, don't forget I can ruin you with the snap of my fingers. Think wisely. My offer is the house, if not, I don't owe you a shit."
He doesn't want to threaten her, but he can't let her walk over him, threatening him. He's choosing his attitude and words carefully. If this was happening a year ago, he'd stand up to this differently. But now he has a son, a little family he needs to take care of. He needs to be more careful what he says and does.
"You're going to regret this." she tries for the last time, hating how unaffected he seems to be.
"No, I won't. I've made the best decision I could," he tells her honestly, not even glaring at her. He sees the shock written on her face, seeing the change in him. "And I hope you'll do as well."
Taking the last glance at her, he walks out of the house before she can utter another set of threats. He knows she's all bark but no bite. She has no power to do something. And with him no longer being there, she is reminded of the burnt sauce she was trying to cook. Her first attempt of cooking contrasting her life, as she angrily turns off the stove and takes the glass of wine, throwing it onto the perfect colored wall with a scream.
As soon as he is out of the house, the fresh air hits his face and he inhales heavily, making his way to his black sport car.
He feels relaxed, sighing as soon as he rides off the driveway and checks the time on the touch screen.
He will make it to the dinner after all.