I thought the hard part of starting my own family would be knowing that we would be in danger when the Volturi came for us one inevitable day. I would have to watch my children grow up and know that one day, unlike the rest of us, they might grow old and die. If that were to happen, Jacob and I would have to live without them for an eternity. How could I live through that? Those had been my greatest fears for a long time, but not even those worries could compare to the anxieties that consumed me after things took a turn for the worst.
After years of worrying, the time had finally come. Don't get me wrong-my family and I had some really great as-normal-as-it-can-get years, but the worry had always been there, lingering in the back of my anticipating mind.
Every time I watched my children stray from my side, whether it was for one second or a few hours, a piece of my heart always followed them. I always knew there was a minute chance that any of those times could be the last. The last farewell kiss, the last comforting hug, the last goodbyes....
If I felt this way about my children, then how did my mother and father feel about me? I had the best parents anyone could ever ask for, but I always wondered how much trouble I brought into their lives. Was I really worth it? I saw how terrible my mother appeared after she brought me into the world-she was literally the face of death. I saw the excruciating pain in my father's eyes when he realized his wife wasn't breathing. I never had the courage to tell Jacob, but I even remember the look on his face as he walked in that room, determined to end my life. I may have only been a newborn, but my brain was further evolved, and something like that is not easily forgotten. Besides, I don't blame him. How would you feel towards the person who took away the one you loved the most?
I especially could not forget the time when vampires from around the world gathered to stand up against the Volturi to prove my family's innocence. Once again, the cause was me. I knew they thought I was worth it, but I wasn't so sure.
If it weren't for Jacob's existence, the world would most likely have no need for me. I loved my daughters with all my heart and even more, but I knew they didn't deserve this. They deserved normal lives. I asked myself countless times: how could I ever bear to let my own children out on their own, when the Volturi could be anywhere, just waiting for the right time to snatch them away from me? I knew my parents probably asked themselves this very question, but, even so, I was never really alone. I always had my Jacob.
Laying on the hard and damp concrete of an unknown place, I could only hope that Taylor and Elizabeth were safe and unharmed. How could I go on any other way?
Jacob had to have found our daughters and brought them to a safe location by now, I told myself. They would be safe with him. They would be safe with Jacob. They had to be. Maybe if I repeated it enough it would be true....
Over the last few hours or days or however long I had been stuck in this dreadful dungeon, I had my last conversation with Jacob stuck on repeat. His words and the faint hope that my whole family was safe was all that kept me functioning.
I often thought back to when everything went wrong.
The day had started out like any other day when I had meetings out in the city: I brought Elizabeth to the neighbors', dropped Taylor off at the high school, and arrived at my meetings at eight o'clock on the dot, as Grandpa Charlie would say. That morning's meetings were as bland as usual, lunch with my fellow coworkers who were being forced through the same torture was filled with the same meaningless gossip, and that afternoon's meetings were horrifically repetitive.
I remembered the queasy feeling I had while walking to my car, which was parked around the corner of the building away from most of the other cars, a desperate attempt to avoid dents and scratches from careless people. Initially I thought the feeling was merely caused by the human food I ate during lunch, for I always preferred blood, but when I entered my car, I knew for a fact that the smell was not right. The air was tainted with something more than just the takeout that I ordered for Jacob. My heart began to beat rapidly, and my hands shook imperceptibly as I turned to check the backseat where I left the styrofoam box in the darkened shade of the nearby building, hoping it wouldn't be overcooked in the relentless heat of the sun.
A split second before it was in my line of sight, someone's quick hand covered my mouth firmly and forced my head against the headrest of my cushioned seat. My unsteady pulse was traveling faster than a freight train as my searching eyes darted back and forth frantically. A piece of duct tape replaced the large hands that transferred to my thrashing shoulders, forcing them to remain still, and a stunning woman appeared in the passenger seat so quickly that my eyes could barely watch the door open and close at her side. The car shook ever so slightly after the impact.
"It's nice to finally meet you, Renesmee," the well-dressed stranger greeted me as if we had always known each other.
I stared at her intensely, unable to respond. I hoped she could see the deep resentment I held towards her.
"I see you're so happy to see me that you're speechless." She winked, and I rolled my eyes, but her foolish joke earned a deep chuckle from the backseat.
"Okay, I can see that you're not one for humor, but anyway..." she trailed off, glancing at her hands linked together on her lap. Any trace of humor was long gone. She straightened her posture and gazed up into my staring eyes, and for a moment I thought I saw a deep, familiar sadness hidden within the depths of her pupils. "I'm Rebecca...," she hesitated. "Rebecca Black."
My bewildered eyes narrowed as I stared at this woman who claimed to be my husband's deceased older sister. The same sister who had caused Jacob heart-wrenching grief when he should have been ecstatic. Had his pain been unnecessary? Jacob had no choice but to spend years avoiding his sister, since she wasn't allowed to know about shape-shifters and vampires. He was overjoyed when he found out that the elders enabled her invitation to our wedding, but after Rebecca and her husband, Solomon Finau, boarded a plane from Hawaii to Seattle two weeks before the big day, they were never seen again. Jacob was strong throughout the whole thing, but how happy could I be knowing he was in pain? Being accompanied by his lost sister's twin didn't make anything easier. The night of our wedding, the search for the missing travelers was called off, and all who had been on board were pronounced dead. No one should have to delay their honeymoon to attend their sister's funeral.
Now that I thought about it, the woman's skin did claim the russet shade of the Quileute natives. It matched Jacob's hue perfectly. Even though Rebecca and Rachel were not identical twins, I was now able to recognize the aspects of Rachel that were evident in Rebecca's features.
"By the look in your eyes, I'm sure you are now aware of who I am," she paused and looked at her phone. Her thumbs darted around on the screen as she typed in a number. "I'm also sure that you're wondering why I'm not dead, and I assure you, you'll know soon enough. But first, I've got a call to make to my dear little brother."
I watched as she tapped the dial button, and after turning on the speaker, she set the cell phone down on the center console. It rang a shrilling sound that sent a shiver down my spine, and before the second ring ended, Rebecca's call was answered.
"Hi, this is Jacob," my husband recited, making my heartbeat stutter. This call couldn't possibly end well for him. Would Rebecca mention me? As much as I wanted him to come to my rescue, I wanted more for him to keep our children safe. I knew how much pain he would be in once he heard from his sister. For years he had blamed himself for her untimely "death." I held my breath and feared the response he might receive.
I watched as Rebecca painted a fake smile on her face. "Hey! It's your sister, Rebecca," she beamed with so much fake enthusiasm that I almost choked.
"Rebecca?!" His distant staticky voice was full of the surprise I was dreading. "I... I... I thought you were dead...." I yearned to hold him close as I listened to the pain that his words contained.
Clearly enjoying my escalating annoyance, Rebecca glanced at me and winked again. "Well, as you can tell, I'm not... and I have a lot to explain."
Jacob's silence cut deeper into me with each passing second. What was he thinking? Stay strong, I thought, wishing he could hear me.
Rebecca picked up the phone and smiled wickedly. She disabled the speaker, brought the phone close to her mouth, and spoke into it with false sincerity. "I have to go. Call me back on this number when you can, Jake. I miss you."
After the line went dead, Rebecca threw her head back and laughed heartlessly. "That was almost too easy." She glanced at my captor, clearly irritated. "I'm tired of the silent treatment. Take the tape off already," she ordered.
Without question, the restraining hand fell from my aching right shoulder and found its way to my mouth, gripping the edge of the tape. He, I assumed from the muscular arms, pulled in one fluid motion, causing pain to ripple across my skin. Refusing to show any sign of weakness, I didn't flinch.