Christopher looked at her concerned face. He hugged her tightly. He was breathing hard. All those memories he thought he had left behind was still very fresh in his mind and he knew very well what he shouldn't do in order to be a good father to his child.
And those memories made him realize maybe he was not invincible as he thought he was. "I am sorry Pia" He whispered. "I shouldn't have said everything I had said. About the baby, about you, about us. Can you not forgive me one last time? Make us a family again. I feel so alone, so alone. I have no one but you. No one Pia, just you."
She crossed her arms around his back. "It's ok Roy, I wasn't going to leave you. It was never my intention. All I wanted to do was to provide a better future for my little baby." He pulled back looking into her eyes. He held her cheeks in her hand slowly rubbing his thumb on her skin. And she kept holding his waist.
"Guess we both had a pretty worst childhood, and we both reacted differently towards this. Truth is Pia, I was afraid, I was very afraid of knowing that I am going to have a kid of my own. I was barely able to make through each day myself. I didn't wish to bring a kid in the mess I call my life."
Pia nodded in understanding. "I do understand, it can be scary, and I too am not very much thrilled to have a baby in such an early stages of our relationship, but the thing is when you said you didn't wanted the baby, it stirred up some very bad memories from my childhood. I never wished my baby to face what I faced once." Christopher shied looking at her "Neither do I, it is the last thing I wanted my child to remember Pia." He said.
"Guess we both wanted the same thing, a better future for our baby" Christopher smiled at that sentence. "Yes Pia, it is our baby. And yes, I am still very afraid of the future, thinking if I can be the father my kid wishes me to be. But I am excited to see a little thing that will light up all my darkness. I cannot help but think will it be a boy or a girl." Pia made a face. "Why you want a boy?" She asked.
"Actually no, I want just the opposite. A princess, to rule my kingdom after me." He said smiling. "that will make you a first one of your kind Mr. Woodland" She mumbled. "Why you wanted a son?" He asked. "No, I am happy whatever we will have." She whispered looking down.
Christopher didn't understand why she was so reserved still. It is like she started to have a conversation and then she stops in the middle without completing it. He took her hand in his. "So now are we together in this?" He asked. She nodded. "Good to have you on board Doctor Woodland" She gave him a small smile.
"Now, I thought you were hungry, let me take you to your favorite place Mrs. Woodland." He said. "But don't you have clinics?" She asked. "They will call me if they need me. There are other doctors here, you know, that right?" he asked. "I do but..." "Shhh... I never had taken you on a date, let me do that as a first, I want to know you better my darling. I want you to be comfortable around me not afraid of voicing your thoughts"
She crossed her arms around her chest, which was indeed very distracting. "Well excuse me for acting how I am from sometime, you had shouted on me for voicing my thoughts." She said. "Then it was my bad. I am sorry, again. I was just a little caught up in my world, not anymore." He held her hand and laid her to the car.
"You have to feed me till I get fat?" She complained. He was driving towards their home now because she needed to rest. " I have to, you are eating for two, and you did said you like the pies so I thought why not?" he said. "That doesn't mean you will make me eat my weight." She said pouting and he smiled. "You know Pia, sometimes you act as if you are five." He said parking the car and held her hand she pushed it away.
"Now what I did?" Christopher asked. "You called me five." She pouted. He leaned on his knees holding his ears. "Sorry Boss, I shall never ever call you childish ever again." He said. "What are you doing? Someone will see you and..." "And I will say I have angered my wife, now forgive me or I am going to stay here like this." He said. "Ok, ok get up I forgive you." She said.
He stood up and picked her up in his arms walking inside. "I thought we are going to return to your real home." He put her down on the couch. "This is my real home baby, with you and my kid. Now stay put" Christopher said walking towards a room he kept under lock and key. Maybe it is time to show her what he had been hiding all along from the world, because after all she deserves to know, if he hid it anymore, it can be bad when she finally knows. She will feel betrayed knowing he didn't shared it with her.
He put the key in the door lock and opened it up. This door held all the vulnerability all that he kept away from himself, from his life. But in reality, he had been hiding, not accepting his truth. Pia had given him courage to do the same.
He walked into the dusty room. And then towards a small wooden chest. He picked it up and walked out locking the door beside him. He walked towards Pia and saw she was sitting upright looking through her phone.
"Baby" he called. She looked up seeing him carrying the box. "What's that?" she asked. "Something that had reminded me that I had a biological mother time to time?" It came out more as a question then as a answer.
"You had a mother? I thought you were adopted and no one knows about your birth mother since it was a close adoption." He smirked "You still doubt my talent baby. If I had wanted to, I could have find every bit of information you are still hiding from me. But I didn't knowing that you will tell me all when you are ready." He said and she relaxed.
He took out a chain with a little key which he was wearing around his neck. How she never noticed that? It was just a little too shocking for her. "pay closer attention from next time when you look at me little pixie, I am not that hard to figure out." He said putting the key in. and then the box opened. It had little shoes inside. Infant shoes, woven and embroider a name. She touched it slightly. "Royce" she whispered.
"The name my mother, my biological mother gave me. Only few are aware of this fact, only few I let in to this part of my life Pia. Including you, this is the only piece I have from my birth mother. After she had abandoned me to the orphanage, with this. She never left a name. only this with me. But I remember her face. She had said Roy, you have to be a good boy for momma. And remember Momma loves you always. Always my precious little child" he said touching the shoes.
"And then she left you?" She asked. "She did. I waited for her day and night. But she didn't returned and then one day a man came and took me away. Said he was going to take me to my mother." She held his hand and pulled her closer to him.
"That was your adoptive father." She whisper. "Yes, he was and he lied to me, took me here. That is when I knew, she is never going to come. I was angry at everyone for so long, so long. I was angry at the world. Angry at my mother for leaving me alone, angry at my adoptive father for leaving me."
"Angry at me because I dared stand up to you" He laughed at that. "Well that too. But then, little my little as I got closer to you, my anger, my resentment faded. I don't know how you did that but you did that Pia. You are the only person who dared stood up to me." She played with his fingers. "Yes, that is why you married me"
"Well it was one of the reasons Darling, but you know what? The first time I saw you interacting with Forrest, I was jealous, I didn't know why you were evoking such emotions out of me but you did. And I was mad, so mad at you for doing that. But then when your father told that you were going to leave, that is when I decided that I cannot let you leave, not for anything. And if marrying you was only option to keep you bound to me then be it." He said keeping the shoes back in box. "This is something I want you to have for my princess. My first gift, for her from me." He said kissing her forehead. "Thank you, Christopher, for sharing"
"Call me what you call me Little pixie" She was baffled by his request, if those words, that name evoke bad memories within him then why he wished to be attached? "It makes me feel like I am someone special in your eyes. Someone you have made your own. That I am closer to you than anyone else in this whole world. I want to feel that Pia. I want to be yours just yours. Can you not make me yours? Keep me for yourself?" He asked pulling her into his arms. "Yes, I can" She said looking into his grey pools. He had a unique attraction in him. She cannot help but feel like drowning allegedly in them.
He picked her up and took her towards their room. "Remember what you did for me in Paris?" She blushed. "Yes, I do" She whispered. "I want to see you like that again, on our official wedding night. It is my wish that no one take off that wedding gown off you but me. Just me baby, because I deserve that. I deserve your every first. Promise me, you will let me do it? Promise me little pixie" She nodded looking away shyly. "Look at me please my little pixie, my only, just mine." He whispered. She looked into his grey eyes desire poling into them. And now she was very afraid of intensity of those desires.
She turned around unable to face him. Her breath quickens as he slowly pulled the zip of her dress down. His lips slowly kissed her back, over her spine, over her scars. Her eyes remained close, feeling his lips over her skin. He turned her around looking at her,
"Open your eyes little pixie look at me, I am yours, only yours. And from today, all I am, everything I have, everything I will ever become is yours, my every truth, my every secret, my every scar, my every happiness, my every pain. All are yours. I keep myself in front of you as I am, hoping that you will accept me." She looked at him, he leaned on his knees holding her legs.
"My sweet little pixie, how much I want to give you, how I want to take the whole world and put it down at your feet for your taking." He looked up and saw she was looking at him. "My little pixie, I..." He paused. She was waiting for him to say something, bear his emotions to her. "I think..." he said "Tell me Roy what is it?" She asked crouching down to his level looking at his eyes. "Will you run away?" he asked. She shook her head in no.
"Tell me what is it?" she asked whispering. He softly tucked a hair behind her ear. He leaned in closer, so close to her that she can feel his breath on her face. "Promise me you will always be with me no matter what, promise me you will never ever leave me Pia, if you left me I will be devastated. I would not be able to get up on my feet again. I need you to be my rock. I need someone to lean on to." He said looking at her. "Promise me my sweet little Pixie, promise me."
She held his trembling hands into hers. He was shivering badly. "Roy" She whispered his name making him pull her closer. "I promise I will forever be with you,". He softly brushed his fingers over her back until he reached the hook of her bra, he unhooked it baring her completely to his eyes. "You are so beautiful," he picked her up in his arms and walked towards their bed.
He placed her over it, just looking at her. Memorizing her, His eyes never left hers. She averted her gaze not looking into his. She was still very much afraid of his words. The intensity of his eyes, had scared her. "Look at me, little pixie" he commanded. She looked at him. "That is what I wanted to see, the eyes of the woman I love with all my heart." She gasped. "Roy... what are you talking about?" She asked.
"The truth little pixie, the truth I was so afraid of admitting to myself. I was so much in denial, not anymore. Never in my life I had been sure you anything like this. I am utterly, unconditionally, with all my heart in love with you." He whispered. Which had only frightened her, what if he knew the truth she had been hiding and then didn't accept her after that? She would be broken. Devastated. She might not be ready for that blow anymore.
"Christopher, you cannot love me before you know me." She said. "even if I don't know you fully, I know you much to love you, and that cannot change for anything My little pixie" He said closing the distance.
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