Dimitri
I checked my watch at 6:00 pm.
The meeting took quite a long time.
I walked out of the room and headed towards my office where April is waiting for me.
The thought of seeing her relaxed me a bit.
I turned the doorknob and walked in to see April sleeping on her desk hugging the bouquet I gave her earlier.
I slowly walked towards her trying not to make any sound.
I took a strand of hair falling over her face and gently tucked it behind her ear.
Her cheeks pressed against her hand looking more chubbier, her lips formed in a pout she was sleeping so peacefully.
“April?”
“wake up.”
She turned her face on the other side as a soft morn escaped her mouth.
“uhmm I’m not sleeping.”
I couldn’t help but smile at her, how can she be so effortlessly cute.
“come on, wake up now, it’s getting late.”
After a moment she turned her head towards me, blinked twice staring at me like a lost kid.
“come on.”
She rubbed her eyes and slowly stood up taking wobbly steps, picked her bag and the flowers, and walked out of the office.
We got inside my car and drove out.
April keeps nodding off to sleep as I drove.
“April?”
“Get the bag from the back seat.”
She quickly sat up and took the bag.
“Open.”
She took out a box from inside the bag and opened it to reveal a silver pendant with an angel wing charm attached to it.
She stared at the pendant tracing the wing with her little fingers.
“W-what is this Mr. Martínez?”
I parked the car a few blocks away from her house.
“It’s your graduation gift.”
She looked up to me somewhat confused.
“T-thank you Mr. Martínez but you d-don’t have to g-get me any gift.”
“I do.”
“I-I can’t take it Mr. Martínez.”
“Do you like it?”
I hope she does.
“Yes, I-it’s beautiful.”
A smile formed on my lips.
“Let me put it on you.”
“But Mr…..”
I took the pendant from her hand and put it on her.
The pendant sparkled reflecting the street light.
I stared at her as she fidgeted with the charm.
“M- Mr. Martínez t-thank you” she mumbled. “N-not just for the gift b-but for coming t-today. I-it really m-means a lot to me.” she slowly looked up to me but immediately moved her glance seeing me looking at her.
“April do you know why does it have the wing?”
“It’s an angel wing, it is the symbol of protection, affection, and harmony. It means I’ll always look over to you and protect you.”
She kept quiet still tracing the charm.
“Why?”
“W-why do you w-want to look o-over me a-and protect me I-I’m just an employ…..”
“Because I like you.”
“ I like you but not in a boss-employee professional liking. I like you a lot more than that.”
“I know my first impression of you was not the best but I want you to know that you are very special to me and I genuinely mean it.”
She didn’t speak a word but kept her gaze fixed on her lap.
“April you don’t have to give me any answer at the moment, you have all the time you need, there’s no pressure okay?”
She still didn’t utter a word.
Suddenly she picked her bag and walked out of the car.
I let out a sigh.
Should I have not said anything?
But I couldn’t keep it inside me any longer.
I see her every day sitting in front of my eyes but I can’t say that I love her, I see her having a hard time but I can’t hug her or say that she’s not alone, that I am there for her.
Even if I want so bad I can’t offer her my shoulder to rest and the failure of not being able to be there for her started to eat me up slowly.
I rubbed my temple and start the engine, I parked my car in front of her house.
The light of her bedroom was off but I knew she was there.
I turned off the engine and sat there staring at the darkness.
April
I locked the door put down my bag and the flowers and lay down on my bed.
The moon showered me in its bright light.
I started out at the open window as his words keep ringing in my ears again and again.
“Because I like you.”
He likes me. Does he like me? But why does he like me?
Is he pulling some kind of stupid prank on me?
But he sounded pretty serious.
What am I supposed to do now? What should I say to him?
Do you like him?
I don’t know I just have never thought of him like that or anything.
He is my boss and definitely way out of my league I mean look at him and look at me.
He is handsome, successful and me, I am just too ordinary, not so good on the looks part.
I am not saying that I am not happy with the way I look or anything because I like myself the way I am but nothing in comparison to him.
I am just an average student with a messed up life.
He can literally get anyone he likes but then why me?
How am I going to face him tomorrow?
Oh god.
I shut my eyes tightly trying to sleep to get rid of the voices in my head.
“Good morning honey, aren’t you going to the office today?” mom slowly opened the curtains and soon the golden light brightens up the room.
“ I don’t know mom.”
“Are you okay? If you don’t feel like just take a day off.”
Mom sat down next to me and patted my head.
“come on now wake up, I’ll make your favorite breakfast, eat some food and take some rest okay?”
“Mom, do you think I deserve love?”
Mom stopped on her way and turn back to me.
“Of course you do. Everyone deserves to be loved, honey. Why would you ask something like that?”
“Nothing I was just wondering.”
She took a seat on the bed.
“April I know you are not like your sister, you keep your thoughts and feeling hidden inside of you and I also know that neither of your father or I had been there for you especially after your sister left but April I want you to know that you can talk to me and tell me if something is bothering you.”
I let out a sigh.
“I don’t know mom, I don’t know what it is.”
“I am just scared. All of these times I thought that I don’t deserve love or happiness or anything good or at least that’s what he made me believe. Anytime something good happens I get scared that I will ruin it or I will get hurt again for worse so I keep pushing away anything good coming my way.”
Mom sat there in silence for a minute.
“All I can say is that don’t be so harsh on yourself. You can not change your father either forget the pain that he has given all of us but April do not let all these negative thoughts control you.
Take all the love and happiness coming your way. Maybe they are for your good or maybe not but don’t let yourself regret at the end of the day thinking about all the opportunities you miss.”
“If it’s for your good it will become your most cherished memory and if not it might hurt you that moment but it will also turn out as a lesson so you would never repeat that mistake but it will never be a regret.”
I smiled looking at my mom.
For the first time, I had such a heart to heart talk with her.
“Thank you mom, I really needed that.”
“Come on now.” she planted a soft kiss on my forehead and went downstairs.
After having my breakfast I went out.
Not somewhere particular. I took turns to unknown allies, went to a bookshop looked at some books, went to the theater, but my mind was wandering off somewhere else.
I wander around here and there all day but I still couldn’t figure out what I want.
It felt like I wasn’t just looking for an answer to tell him but I was looking for an answer to understand myself, my needs, my feelings.
In the evening as the light started to fade out slowly I sat down on a park bench.
There weren’t many people there, those who were there started to head home as the dark clouds started to cover up the sky.
The more I thought about it the harder it becomes for me to convince myself that I did not like him.
The rain started to pour slowly.
I stood up and started walking.
The people around me opened their umbrellas or ran towards a shelter as the rain got heavier and soon the road started to get empty.
I continued with my slow walk as the rain accompanied me.
Dimitri
I couldn’t focus on my work all day. Every time I look over to the empty spot all I can think of yesterday’s incident.
I tried calling her but she didn’t pick up.
She was definitely avoiding me.
I don’t understand why she always tries to run away from every situation.
I took a sip of my coffee and quickly finished off the work left.
As soon as I got inside my car it started pouring heavily.
I kept my focus on the road as it started to get blurred due to the rain. The roads were almost empty.
As I stood on the signal I saw April walking ahead on the sidewalk.
What the hell is she doing in the rain walking like this?
I quickly took the turn and parked my car.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
It took her a moment to understand my words.
She looked up to me and blinked her eyes trying to keep them open. A droplet fell down her cheek from her wet eyelash.
“Get inside the car.”
She didn’t move a muscle but continued to stare at me.
I was completely drenched as I stared back at her.
“ Don’t make me repeat myself April just get inside the car, are you out of your mind? Walking in the rain like this and where is your phone? I tried calling you so ma….”
“Yes.”
“What yes? I asked where is your phone why didn’t you…….”
“What did you just say?” it took me a moment to realize what she meant.
I took a step closer to her.
“Repeat that.”
Her cheeks started to get brighter red with each second passing.”
“I-I s-aid Y-Yes.”
I took another step close to her.
I gently cupped her face. She instantly stiffens at my touch but soon started to relax.
She still wouldn’t look me in the eyes.
I waited for her to relax under my touch.
I am so wrong If I said that her cheeks were red earlier she was looking like a tomato right now.
I chuckled at her and slowly put my lips on her.
I was making sure she was comfortable with my touch and when I saw she is, I kissed her gently and softly, tasting the mixture of the sweetness of the strawberry and the melting sky.
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