In my mind, therapeutic exercises could be as simplistic as strolling down a damp, dimly lit street. One can drive by that very same street countless times, and will never perceive the diminutive, but curious details of the ongoing surroundings that you soak in on foot. It's an altered experience completely. I liked to feel the world as it brushed by my twig like fingertips and breathe in its stillness, as if it were a luscious scent waiting to be wafted.
I remembered to think that whenever I chose walking as my mode of transportation, but mostly I guess I was only trying to save on gas.
I looked at the various houses and wondered over the stories they contained as they each quickly passed by behind my steps. Each property contained a series of memories that have been collected over the years, gathered and locked up in those rooms and those minds of the unknown. It was strange how different each home and story may be, even though they were all on the same street. You'd think that they would reflect each other into some sort of easily calculated pattern, but in reality, each one was even more diverse than the last.
Sure, most of them were one story bungalows, with a tiny porch and a tidy lawn, but even with these insignificant similarities, they all murmured their undiscovered personalities.
Diversity is vast, anywhere one goes.
My thoughts were clouded in its observations of the frigid night. The cold wind chilled my bones and burned my face like a gruelling breeze of icy flames as I treaded along. The shadowy hours of darkness seemed to be a stunning, but harrowing ocean, as many of the twinkling stars were swept under the ferocious current, into invisibility.
My breath became detectable in small puffs of miniature clouds; hence I zipped up my sweater up to my neck. As my steps quickened, my breath exhale deeply and quickly like a train's smoke, and I started to curse staying so late.
It all seemed too lonely; the roads were basically dormant, except for the odd car that would rush by in a rushing whirl and a flash of light that blinded my eyes momentarily. No late night wanderers such as myself however, I was alone in a sleeping world.
Once I reached my street, I saw the line of comforting trees shedding off the top layer of their rusting leaves, leaving them scattered in a muddle all over the sidewalk. It was like scattered rice after a wedding, for an autumn princess. The bare branches were ferociously waving in the wind and kind of reminded me of long twisting arms of a monster, trying to unstuck itself from the ground in a state of rage.
After imagining that lovely thought, I basically sprinted down the last few silent houses to find my own. My feet pounded heavily, and I was concerned that my thudding heartbeat would become audible enough to break the night's fragile silence.
I wasn’t exactly afraid though, it was just too cold and creepy.
I noticed that the lights were turned off in my neighbour's quaint little house when I trampled over my lawn; although I could see the colourful blur of the television flashing from Terrance's bedroom window. I wondered if Sherry knew that her teenage son was up watching television at this time, or if he was breaking one of her strict but few house rules again.
I felt relived as I finally reached my door of my small but humble abode, which was once painted a vivid red in order to keep evil spirits from entering. I always gave a chuckle at thinking of such a time when my family was like that, adventurously thinking, and united in avoiding negativity. Silently noting the fact that the outside porch light wasn't left on for me, I let my numb fingers fumbled with my jangled ring of keys. Eventually I jammed them in.
Opening the door revealed the mess I left behind. I had meant to clean it up, but I had been occupied with schoolwork, so house cleaning remained on the back burner of my present to-do list.
There were food remains in takeout boxes all over the too-stained-to-be-cleaned carpets, and papers all over the coffee table that centered the room. Our walls were a faded shade of yellow, which darkened over the years, and the air was always too stuffy and full of fragrance chemicals and thick dust. Despite the house's laidback organization, I loved its character.
I shrugged out of my sweater and threw it into the closet. Leaving my shoes on as I wandered through the quiet, lonely living room, I notice a lump of quilts over my mother's sleeping body lying on the couch.
Images danced from the television screen and rang out professional voices of news announcers to my mother's non-listening ears. The bright glow of it blurred against my face as I leaned down towards her delicate body.
I pulled off the quilt from her head to see my mother's dark brittle hair swept over her pale delicate face. It was like a threadbare curtain, ripped to thin shreds all over her face. Wrinkles patterned her pale tired skin, but she still had a mysterious beauty that people seemed to admire. It was a sort of beauty that could have once been mistaken for strength.
She groaned and slowly opened her eyes, presenting her glazed muddy eyes, which partially awakened in the world. When her small tight lips parted to speak, her voice came out in barley a mumbled whisper.
"Sea... where were you?"
I patted her soft breaking hair, and smiled into her small, voided eyes.
"Sorry mom, I was just working again at the library. I didn't mean to wake you, it's getting pretty late."
With that, I received a small smile before she turned back over, returning back into the land behind her sleeping unconsciousness.
I turned off the TV and quietly hurried up the rickety staircase to get to my bedroom. Silence and a stale frozen sense of worry oozed back into my soul as I reacclimatized to my home.
Sometimes the day just runs away with you, I remember thinking before I collapsed on my bed. I let out a defeated sigh, and rearranged the pillows to my liking. I probably should have brushed my teeth or changed out of my jeans or something, but the constant fatigue sucked every last effort from my conscious.
As I curled up under the safety of the covers, I prayed for a full night of sleep.
Buzz buzz...
I jerked up in a state of shock, realizing that darkness had swallowed me whole. My entire room had become murky from the assistance from the night.
I groggily wondered where the noise was coming from, but then realised it was my phone chirping away on my little night stand. I wasn’t quite used to the foreign sounds it made just yet, and I was a light sleeper. Even the slightest slip of a sound would have me awake and frantic in a second.
I made an exaggerated sigh before stretching out my arm to grab it. I blinked my eyes, trying to gain some sense of awareness, and then tiredly unlocked it to scroll through the messages. The message came up as Terrance’s.
This wasn't a surprise, for he was actually my best friend, and has been loyal to me ever since our parents introduced us. We were as close as a brother and sister could be, and have been known to have late conversations occasionally, so it wasn’t out of the blue for him to contact me. What startled me were the content of the messages he sent me.
Sea, need you to pick me up. I'm at Derek’s house, you remember where it is?
Scrolling up, I saw the most recent one.
You know where that is right? I took you there before. Ps I’m kinda in trouble.
I knew exactly what that meant, for as I was quite familiar with the life Derek leaded. I could almost hear Terrance’s slurred voice. I knew I couldn't abandon him, even though he deserved it, for he also knew how much his mother was fond of late nights out.
I gave myself a few seconds of calm, sitting where it was so cozy in my bed before breaking out to find something to wear. I stretched and shook the sleep out of me, and wandered around to prepare myself for the cold.
After finding another sweater from the laundry basket of un-put away clothes, I crept down the stairs. Thankfully there weren't too many steps to creak on so the chances of waking my poor sleeping mother were minimized. Waking her twice in the night may affect her mood in the morning which is not a risk I wanted to take.
While I tugged on my boots, I glanced at her. I wasn't worried that she would notice I was gone because she wasn't exactly the worrying, overprotective type. However, I was worried for her own safety once she was no longer under my supervision.
I let out yet another exaggerated sigh as I open the door to sheets of icy rain pouring from the grey sky of anger. After allowing a moment of bewildered shock, I had no choice but to run out into the war zone and pray I wouldn't slip out onto the slippery driveway. Already my sweater was soaked and my jeans were uncomfortably clinging to my legs. My teeth were chattering so hard my jaw ached, even in that matter of seconds. It seeped deep into my bones, like an icy liquid circulating through my veins.
My long stringy hair flopped into my face, blocking my vision so I almost did slip just outside of our tiny family ford, giving me a second of heart stopping fear. I caught my footing just in time, and unlocked the car door.
I climbed inside and plopped myself down on the seat, taking a second to breathe. Once my breathing wasn't so jagged and scared, I warmed up the car, lighting it up so it was one single lighthouse on the shore of a dark and stormy night.
"Whoa." I groaned.
Continuing, I backed out of the driveway and started the quest to save my friend. How nice, right?
To any creatures out in the horrible spell of weather that saw me; they would only see a cheap little car cruising almost calmly down the road. What they didn't see was me actually talking to myself like a mad man. I never liked the rain the way others so easily could. I didn't find it romantic, or refreshing or calming. In fact, sometimes it was somewhat intimidating.
I began to chuckle softly to myself, over the chaos on this night. Everyone had nights like these, but on those nights, one is never able to show their true colours. I know that mine weren't shining too brightly, but it was only that I liked patterns, and for everything to balance.
As I neared the rougher part of the neighbourhood, where Derek lived, I began to piece together things to say to Terrance. If we even discussed anything at all.
More and more houses were lightened in the area, as it was known to attract a lot of night owls such as Derek’s family. I saw multiple people even walking out on the streets, apparently oblivious to the harsh conditions.
That's when I saw the porch light of the house glowing dimly, and through the blurry window I could make out different figures all socializing in a fair sized crowd.
I slammed my fist down on the horn, creating a satisfying loud honk to my ears. Several figures looked up at me, then at one another. Scanning the cluster of people I hardly knew, I soon picked out the person I did know. He awkwardly stumbled away, seeming like his normal, happy self, but a little disoriented as he crossed the street.
Seeing his laidback grin directed towards me, followed by a wave and an obnoxious call, I knew he was still playing his show. I rolled my eyes when he staggered over to the passenger's side and let himself in.
He seemed to take forever in closing the door as the rain splattered inside. The drips of rain slid off his leather jacket and onto the seat. I wanted to bark at him for that, but realised that there was a better approach. Fatigue slurred my thoughts, and a contributing anger wouldn’t assist the situation. I immediately forced myself to get myself together.
"Oh man, it's freezing!" Terrance murmured. As he clicked in the seatbelt, I couldn't help but see how funny he looked in the tiny car. His body wasn't big or muscular like the people he just left, but Terrance was almost abnormally tall. Even his feet were quite large, and they looked very cramped up and discomfited. Then he looked at me with his wide electrical green eyes that seemed so out of place on his wide, tanned and strangely cheery face. His nose was crooked and long, and his blond hair curtained most of his face. Seeing him in his usual self reminded me why I had his back all the time. That’s what family was supposed to be known for.
"I am so sorry about all this, Sea. I won't forget this, okay? I owe you one."
The words all came out in a breezy rush, jumbled but apologetic. I could smell the bitter alcohol on his breath, nearly gagging me.
I shook my head.
"What were you even doing? You never do this to us," I sighed, unwilling to hide my disappointment.
"I know…I'm sorry. Not that it matters, but I already know it won’t happen again," he defended.
There was an awkward silence with nothing but the hum of the car rolling down the road and the pattering of the rain dropping down on the roof. He looked fine, proud even, but knowing him, he was a little disappointed in him at the same time, even though he wouldn't admit it.
"Fine. I'm not in charge of you, but your mom still is. I don't know how it's going to go with her. Especially if it affects school stuff," I said.
"It won't affect school! Like I said, it was one night! And I am sorry, okay? And my mom will get over it. It's really no big deal."
The atmosphere of the car felt lighter now, and the silence was not so awkward. Terrance cleared his throat and I could tell another question was going to come up about me. I could practically see it in his uncomfortable shifting in the seat.
"Did your mom notice you left? Did you tell her or anything?" he attempted to ask smoothly.
I shook my head. "No, I didn't want to wake her. She's been quiet lately again, but everything is fine." I look over to smile before changing the subject. "So how was the party?"
"Oh my gosh. It wasn’t a party!" He groaned with annoyance.
I looked over at him for a second and let out a small chuckle. Terrence seemed to be fine, which was the only present concern.
Once we reached our neighbouring houses, we both jumped out of the car and ran our separate ways. It wasn't raining as hard then, but I could still feel the rain slowly inching deeper into my skin.
She was still asleep, as I knew she would be. I watched her chest rise and fall in the dark as she breathed, and then headed upstairs to peel out of the sticky, damp clothes I had on. After receiving the text from Terrance that he made it his door alive, I was finally able crawl back into bed, dreading the early morning I had ahead of me.
I never would have imagined what that dreaded morning would blossom into by the evening though. But then again, nobody can predict the daunting future. We have no choice but to take it one night at a time.