Later last night, patrick called me and explained to me that he didn't mean to hurt my feelings. Of course, he hadn't even known why I was so mad, but he figured he should still apologize.
I accepted, though of course, I wasn't really "okay."
I as walking to lunch now, and sat on the wall in the middle if patrick and andy.
So one this the doctor forgot to mention to me, was the swelling of redness of my nose.
"Woah, Rudolph, Christmas isn't for another month." Joe finally spoke up, and I should've known he would make a sarcastic comment. I just didn't know I'd take it to so much affect.
Pete and andy laughed along with joe, and patrick have them a glare.
"How about you douche bag's shut up and focus on that girl's boobs again like the pigs you are."
Obviously they knew I didn't mean it, but they did take it into consideration, searching for the girl, whoever she was.
"You still look beautiful ya know."
I felt patrick looking at me, but I didn't look back.
For some reason I couldn't meet his eyes. Maybe it was because the last time they met, it turned into something else.
Aside from that fact, I began to blush.
"You're blushing." Patrick stated the obvious, as he punched my cheek.
"Oh yay. Now my cheeks can match my nose."
Apparently that wasn't funny, and we kind of just sat in silence.
"Are you mad at me?"
He just came out and said it. I mean yeah, I was kind of being a bitch, and yeah, I was agitated, but mad? Definatly not.
"Course not." I said, once again not able to meet his eyes.
"Yeah," he shot back, very hurtfully.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Obviously, it meant he didn't beleive me, but I wanted to know more than that. I wanted to know why that hurt him so mad.
"You're obviously mad," patrick stayed, mater of factly.
"I'm not!"
"Then why won't you fucking look at me?!"
I jumped at the sound of his voice, and suddenly his face turned from mad, to something I couldn't even explain.
Patrick looked like he was going to cry, but it wasn't just that. He looked hurt, and all other emotions at the same time.
He was hurt. About what? About leading someone on? About trying to kiss someone, than totally blowing them off? Oh wait no, that was me.
Suddenly everything in me snapped. This wasn't like any other time, when I'd just start crying, or give up. No. This time was different.
"Fuck you." I said this as if it were two different sentences, and hopped off of the wall.
I started down the walkway, and not only did the crying feeling start to come back, but things outside just hot worse.
"What happened Annabel? Someone finally punch you for sleeping with their boyfriend?"
Sophie's hurtful, unmistaken voice called out from behind me.
But this time she didn't follow me. She didn't try to start something.
"You ok?" Brendon put his hand on my shoulder and began walking with me.
The feeling of him so close to me set off something inside.
I stopped dead in my tracks and took his hand off of me.
"You don't touch me. Ever. You act like you don't know what you've done."
A single tear rolled down my face, and I began to walk again, leaving him stand there, alone.
****************
Patrick obviously wasn't driving me home today, so I decided to call my mom.
She didn't pick up the phone, so I just decided to walk.
My house was only about a mile away, so I figured that wasn't so bad.
Holy hell was I wrong.
About half way through I had to lean over and catch my breath.
My lungs were dry, and I kept gagging. I was close to throwing up, but then it suddenly stopped, and I kept moving.
By the time I got to my house, I was drenched in sweat, and my makeup was halfway down my face.
I looked through the glass into the living room and saw there was no one there, but that didn't mean the same for outside.
"You could've called you know." Cara was on the front porch, tending to some of her herbs.
"Didn't want to bother you."
I slumped down on the stairs next to her, and sighed,
She nodded in response, though I felt as of she couldn't said more
"It's growing." I sated, trying to make a conversation.
"What?"
"The plant you showed me in the hospital. It's growing."
"Oh yeah. I noticed it this morning."
And for the first time in forever, I saw a smile on Cara's face. It may have only been for a second, and it may have only been a tiny one, but it was there, and I saw it.
For the next five minutes before I went inside, we talked about my sister Sarah coming in for Christmas break in a month.
Than I went inside, but there was still a smile planted on my face.
Maybe those plants didn't resemble me after all. Maybe they resembled Cara, finally coming out of hiding, finally sprouting as a new being.
Because they weren't resembling me. Not after this. For I was doing the oppiste. Digging my own hole into unexistance. Into nothingness
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Heya guys. I'm savannah, the author. :) I just wanted to say hi, and ask to please remember to comment any reviews. I also wanted to say thank you to every one who's reading this fanfiction, because knowing that someone actually appreciates my work, means so much to me. Remember to keep reading and voting, and if you ever want to talk to me personally my Instagram is @urielyugly
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