>>PRESENT TIME
THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM.
Tine stared pensively at Sarawat as he paced, well floated really, next to the bed. His slightly hazy form kept flickering in and out in the pale, silvery light of the full moon that filtered through the flimsy curtain. The other man was sleeping peacefully, completely unbothered by the paranormal activities, one cheek squished against the pillow as he rested on his belly while a long, tanned arm was thrown out over the side of the bed carelessly. The blanket was scrunched up around his lithe waist, leaving his strong back out in the open for Tine's doe eyes to rest upon. The upheave of Sarawat's shoulder blades and the curved V-shape of his back that was accentuated by his languid stretch made Tine's thoughts tie into knots around themselves more than once already. Making Tine flush at the racy thoughts that rushed through his mind. Sarawat posed such a tempting sight with so much naked, golden skin on display. Shit. How could he sleep so tranquilly when Tine was over there, sending him these pitiful, longing looks?
Tine could still not believe that this dude was finally reciprocating his feelings. Did Tine really need to die for this to happen? Would Sarawat otherwise not have noticed him at all? Something sorrowful lurched inside Tine's figurative heart.
With a sigh that propelled a tiny cloud of steam rise from his cold breath, Tine stopped his fidgeting and crouched down at the head of the bed, in level with Sarawat's face. He placed his pale hands on his own jeans clad knees as his round eyes curiously trailed over the other man's prominent features.
Sarawat was so beautiful with the dark hair messily spilled over the white pillowcase, a sliver of moonlight bathing his face in an eerie glow. His lax mouth was parted on soft breaths that fluttered over his curved lips and fanned warmly over Tine's porcelain face. It seemed that the only time that Sarawat did look serene, without a care in the world, was when he was asleep. His brows were evened out into two straight, thick lines, gracefully framing his face without the annoying pinch between them. No wall of arrogance separating him from Tine.
Tine itched to touch, to devour this man. An unsalable hunger gnawed suddenly at his insides as his eyes glinted sharply in the gloom, a flare of gold was there for just a moment and then gone the next.
The ghost raised a flimsy limb, ignited by the chanting whispers inside his head. One icy, blackened finger stroked along the sharp nose, proceeding to trace the bow shaped lips reverently. Tine yearned to do more. His memories were slowly tickling back after their body possession incident but Tine could no longer relate to the young, easygoing man in his memories. He had been so foolish. Now that he had received another chance, Tine just wanted to take and take and t A k E.
He wanted to taste Sarawat's lips, taste his skin and his flesh. He wanted to delve deeper into the essence of Sarawat, to find his fiery core and squeeze it in his ghastly hand.
Tine's fingertips stroked Sarawat's warm cheek and then trailed further up, fisting in the dark locks and tugging harshly, tilting Sarawat's head upwards, brandishing his long neck. Sarawat scrunched up his face sleepily at the painful pull, a faint whine leaving his parted lips while he was still lost in a dream. The ghost ducked his own head down and moved in closer, his rosy mouth hovering over those curved, sinful lips.
Something shimmering, a flow, twirling like a galaxy of stars passed between the limited space of their mouths as Tine inhaled sharply, snuffling against the sleeping man's lips. Immediately his lungs were filled with sparkling light, warming his cold heart and spreading rapidly along his body and out into the ends of his icy fingertips. It pulsated once through him, illuminating Tine's translucent skin like a strobe light and then blipped out of existence as suddenly as it came.
Frightened of the unknown sensation still sizzling through his veins, Tine instantly released his hold, almost falling over on his floating ass as he glided away from the bed in shock. Sarawat released a deep sigh in his sleep, as his head flopped back onto the soft pillow and he rolled over, away from Tine and away from the cold while pulling the blanket over his body.
What the hell had that been?
Sharp breaths made Tine's chest rise and fall expansively, eyes wild as he looked down at his shaking hands, one hand moving up to his own mouth, fingertips ghosting over his suddenly warm lips. It was as if Tine had not even been in control of his own actions, acting on some kind of primeval instinct. There was a strange, buzzing feeling at the back of his neck, trying to hack its way into his skull. Shit. What was happening?
His hands kept shaking, breaths getting shorter and sharper. His vision started swimming as desperate, frustrated tears stung his eyes. What had he taken from Sarawat? How could he? A wet whimper escaped his lips and Tine clamped a clammy hand over his square mouth to keep it all in.
Suddenly Tine was afraid. Very afraid. There was obviously no manual on how to be a ghost, he had totally been left all on his own in this cold and bleak layer of the world. It did not help that all these new, strange things kept stretching the boundaries of his reality. But that was fine. What was not okay though, was the fact that he felt the control over his own actions slipping, like a marionette with invisible strings.
"What should I do?" He whispered brokenly into the night, glassy eyes on the soft mop of dark hair that peeked out of the bed sheets.
-----
"Dude, you look like shit," Boss commented, looking wide eyed at Sarawat, making Man turn around and stare at their friend as well. They were out on the parking lot, heading home after an unreasonably tiresome day of lectures. Sarawat only squinted back at his friends in the orange afternoon sun, dark circles under his eyes and lips a little pale, hair mussed and hanging limply over his forehead.
"Hey, are you coming down with something? Can you still make it later today?" Man asked concerned and reached out a hand to place it against Sarawat's forehead to test his temperature but the other guy quickly intercepted his hand, slapping it away sloppily.
"Ouch. Someone's stingy today," Boss goaded and Sarawat only sneered in his general direction as a reply, sticking one hand into the pocket of his jeans and pulling out the clinking keys to his motorcycle. He was not in the mood to bicker with these idiots today.
Sarawat had woken up pretty alright but as the day progressed he had started to feel strangely fatigued. He was not a dainty guy but this bone deep, lethargic feeling made him week in the knees and unsteady with his hands. And to make it even worse, Tine had disappeared again. He wasnot answering when Sarawat called and the old trick with the guitar did notwork either. It grained already on Sarawat's nerves that they could not touch each other properly, chipping away at the minute bliss of Tine actually reciprocating his feelings. And he had made peace with that since there was nothing they could do to change Tine's condition. However, not even being able to see each other vexed Sarawat to no end. It was the only thing they had, could Tine not cherish it a little more? Shit. Sarawat was thoroughly annoyed by the willful actions of his ghost. Why the hell was Tine playing these tricks on him again?
Except, as much as Sarawat was frustrated and maybe even angry, it was only the tip of the iceberg. Deep, deep down in the hollows of his being, he was insanely worried that there would come a day when Tine would just quietly disappear, disintegrating into the cosmos without even letting anyone know. Without letting Sarawat know or maybe even without himself understanding that once he closed his eyes this time it would be for good.
A desperate wail bubbled inside of Sarawat's chest at these thoughts, stretching a wired string thin inside of his heart that would snap at any moment from the deep seeded anxiety that he felt over losing Tine. He was just not ready. Except it was evident that whether Sarawat wanted it or not, the ghost would still try to find own ways to uncover the mystery of his own death. A parting seemed to be inevitable, but that did not mean that Sarawat would not try to delay it for as long as possible. Tine had become such a precious presence in his life, rare like a ray of stray sunshine that had lost its way in the deep, reflective waters of Sarawat's soul.
He blinked, coming out of his thoughts and found his friends staring expectably at him, having obviously asked something and were now waiting for Sarawat's reply. Man rolled his eyes, combing a hand through his hair. Sarawat was acting strange again.
"I said, don't forget to come tonight to our usual hangout. I want to introduce my boyfriend to you guys."
Boss hooted childishly at the word boyfriend and surprisingly, a shy smile filtered over Man's otherwise brazen face as he bashfully scratched at his nape, looking away.
"You've been bragging so much about him that my expectations are about this high by now," Boss joked and raised one arm above his head to demonstrate just how high his hopes were. "Good to know that he's real at least," he added with a teasing grin and poked a spluttering Man in the ribs with his elbow. Sarawat snickered at his friends' banter, the corners of his eyes crinkling.
"What was he doing again?" Sarawat asked, just making small talk as they resumed their walk over the parking lot.
"Oh, he was studying financial management oversees and then received an internship at the company where he did his thesis work," Man proclaimed proudly. "But he's considering to come back home, since it seems like they can relocate him to their branch in Thailand."
"Aw, he's coming back to be with you~!" Boss sing sang in his friend's ear, making obnoxious kissing noises and Man pushed him away, that shy smile back on his face. He was obviously over the moon that his elusive boyfriend had suddenly decided to come back home.
"Well, there's some kind of family issue that he needs to take care of first," Man added thoughtfully, a furrow between his brows. "We'll see how it goes."
Man has had a crush on this guy for almost a year before they started dating for real, once he started university and the age gap did not seem as big, but just a couple of months into their relationship his boyfriend, who had never even breathed about going out of country was suddenly set on studying overseas. Man was not stupid, something had happened in the short span while they had been dating. Except his boyfriend was very closeted with his feelings and especially avoided talking about his family. All Man knew was that he had a younger brother and erratic parents that had been more focused on their careers than their kids. So Man had been unsure whether it had been his place to push but he trusted that honesty and trust would come his way someday. He had patience, he could wait forever if needed.
"But it's nice that you guys can be together soon," Sarawat commented absently with a sad, wishful smile curling at the ends of his lips. Man and Boss shared an incredulous look behind his back. What the hell? This was probably the most sappiest thing they had ever heard their friend saying.
They stopped at Sarawat's sleek, black motorcycle with its steely body slightly tilted on one side where it stood parked and Man cast a pensive glance at it as his friend unlocked the helmet that had been strapped to the side of the vehicle with a cable lock.
"How can you still ride this thing after the accident? Wasn't your old bike totally crushed?" Man asked and Sarawat looked up, mouth set in a grim line. Uhoh.
He really did not want to be reminded of that. That had been the catalyst for the rift within his family and just thinking about it made his head pound severely, sending blood rushing furiously through his veins.
"At least you didn't get any injuries," Boss piped in an unfittingly cheery tone and was instantly silenced by the twin glares from his friends. His eyes went comically huge and he took a step back, hands raised in a placating gesture. "Uh-This is as far as I go," he scurried to say. "I'll see you guys tonight."
With that said, Boss hustled across the car park, sprinting over the flat asphalt, his white shirt billowing. Man just shook his head at their friend's antics and patted Sarawat good naturally on his shoulder.
"I'll see you later, man. Drive safe," he added when his friend slid the helmet over his head, shielding his annoyed face from view. Sarawat threw one long leg over the bike, hands on the handles and instantly revved up the engine, feeling the familiar vibrations of the motorcycle below him. He then saluted shortly at Man and sped away, motor roaring, sliding effortlessly into the streaming traffic on the main road.
It seemed that Sarawat was only one accident away from Tine.