CHAPTER - 20
LOVE IS... A MESS
"Someone who really loves you, sees what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, how hard you are to handle, but still wants you."
Day - 8
My mind had always been a curious one. Not having answers to something had always managed to make me restless. I could never understand whether to categorize this as a bad trait or a good quality. But as the Sunday night passed, proving to be a sleepless one for me and as I got the answer to one of the questions that had been swimming in my head the entire day, I concluded that it was a bad trait... a very bad one.
"He is so annoying, unbearable, stupid, way too weird and, a huge pervert," I reminded myself of all his varied flaws. "He is seriously good for nothing. He is the living definition of lethargic, so opposite of me." I continued to rant in misery, staring at myself in the mirror while I tried to get ready for the day ahead. With shaking hands, I secured a pin in my hair to tighten my bun and fix the small hair tightly. My thoughts had been wandering to Ashton and I had no control over them. I was in a state of misery and self pity. "He doesn't even shave, for God's sake!" I cried, covering my face with my hands as I couldn't face myself post the awful realization. I peeked from between my fingers and slowly, uncovered my face. "How can I like him?" I asked myself, horrified at the realization of liking Ashton.
My skin looked dull and pale as all the color had been drained off in complete horror. The lack of sleep had resulted in making my eyes look dull and baggy. The dark circles seemed to have darken some more. A sigh escaped my lips as my attempts of making myself look even slightly presentable proved to be futile. Weren't girls who had a crush on someone supposed to look pretty and glow with happiness? Apparently, not me. I looked far from pretty and there was absolutely no 'glow' in my appearance.
"How can I like him?" I muttered, disgusted at myself for even feeling this sort of thing towards none other than Ashton. I was supposed to make him fall in love with someone, and here I was falling for his not-so-charming and arrogant personality. No, it wasn't love. I had long forgotten about the basics of love and I didn't believe in it now. One word that could be described to explain my new found feelings for Ashton Parker, at the moment, was a crush; a really stupid and immature one at that.
I was quick to blame it all on the kiss; the kiss that had been haunting me since it took place in that dreadful moment. That stupid, unpredictable, and hot kiss.
With a dry throat, stiff shoulders, a churned stomach, and a heart pounding way too loudly, I dragged my feet towards Ashton's apartment. This time I decided to walk my way towards his place. This little decision of mine gave me good twenty minutes to curse myself some more and delay the impending meeting as much as possible.
When I reached Ashton's building, I clutched my bag's straps tighter and wondered if my feelings were obvious from my behavior or worse, my face. This thought alone made me stop in my tracks and curse some more. Ashton was rubbing off on me!
I turned to my right and stared at my reflection on the black tinted car parked right there. I looked the same as I did yesterday. In fact, I looked worse. I didn't look like someone who had a crush on her colleague. In fact, I looked like I had just been bankrupted. A little sigh in relief escaped my lips, but that soon changed to a loud gasp when the window that was playing the role of my mirror a few seconds ago, was rolled down. Embarrassed, I uttered, "Sorry!"
My apology was answered with a familiar laugh and I looked at him in surprise. "Don't worry, Liana. You look beautiful, as always," Dylan complimented with a cheeky grin on his face which made me blush.
"How are you?" I asked, surprised on seeing him here. He got out of his car, and I smiled slightly at him.
"I'm good. I came to see how you are." He tilted his head slightly, studying me with his sharp blue eyes.
A frown covered my face and I asked, "Why wouldn't I be okay? Of course, I'm fine."
He smiled his handsome smile and said, "Let's go and meet my dear little brother."
"Uh! Yeah... sure," I mumbled, following him. Like the gentleman he had always been, he opened the building's gate for me and motioned for me to walk first. If only his brother was even the slightest bit like him, I wouldn't have been cursing myself for my choice.
"Can I ask you something, Dylan?" I asked.
"Ask me anything, Liana," he mumbled in his flirtatious way.
Not paying heed to his dialogue, I asked away, "Why hasn't Ashton talked to Priscilla since months?" He stopped in between climbing a step.
"Oh!" The smirk from his face faltered and he placed his feet on the stair. He cleared his throat and looked at me narrowed eyes.
"Priscilla told me," I answered his unanswered question and watched as his confusion washed away.
He sighed heavily and said, "It's not my story to tell, Liana. I'm sorry."
"But-"
"I can't." He cut me off in a very serious tone. My shoulders slumped in defeat, and we started walking towards his apartment again.
"He talks to you?" I asked, not being able to keep my tongue under control. I told myself that if I didn't have a control over my heart, then my tongue deserved all the freedom as well.
"Yes," he replied curtly, making me pout at the one word answer.
Before I could ask any more questions, I realized that we had reached in front of Ashton's apartment and Dylan had pressed the bell, announcing our arrival.
As expected, it took about five minutes and way too many awkward smiles between Dylan and me, for Ashton to answer the door. It seemed like he, too, was used to his brother's laziness. "You are early today!" He exclaimed, the moment he opened the door and his eyes widened when they settled on Dylan instead of me. "What the f*ck?"
There was nothing new about his appearance today as well. He looked tired, sleepy, and pissed off. His dis-shelved appearance had stopped surprising me last week only. And this just made me curse some more. 'Why him of all people? I could have liked someone else... why him?' I found questioning myself but never got a reply in return.
"Good morning to you too, brother." Dylan grinned in reply and stepped inside, leaving Ashton leaning on the door frame and me on the other side of the door.
My lips pressed in a thin line as his eyes wandered from my head to toe and from toe to head. A normal reaction to his wandering eyes would have been my insides melting, making my legs go jelly and coloring my cheeks red. I mean, why not? My crush was checking me out. How cute! But that would have been a normal reaction, whereas nothing was normal about my crush on Ashton and he proved it right with his next words. "You look like a zombie," he told me, looking at me dead panned. With that, I started cursing myself for the umpteenth time since morning.
I was called beautiful by the elder brother and zombie by the younger one in a span of five minutes. I didn't know whether to praise Dylan's manners or be stunned by Ashton's straightforwardness. They were way too different.
"Gee... thanks," I mumbled, casting my eyes downwards in slight embarrassment. I watched him take a step towards me, making me look up at him abruptly. He brought his warm, rough hands up and pinched my cheeks not too hard and not too lightly, but enough to make my eyes go wide and make me blush in complete embarrassment.
He smirked at my reaction after withdrawing his hands to his sides and commented, "That's better."
"Don't be an a*s, Ashton. That's not a way to talk to girls." My eyes drifted towards his brother who rolled his eyes at his brother's actions.
Ashton looked at his brother over his shoulder with narrowed eyes and snorted. Rolling his eyes at his brother, he looked at me and said, "It has been a while."
My eyebrows shot up in pleasant surprise. Had he missed me too? "You miss me way too much for your own good, Ashton. You saw me last Saturday," I informed him, trying to keep the fluttering butterflies in my stomach in control. Mentally, I patted my back as my voice came out even and not squeaky. I tried to take a step inside his apartment, but he blocked me effectively with his broad built and held the door tightly.
My eyes widened when I understood what he meant by his last sentence and he understood that too. The butterflies died instantly and even my thoughts stopped sounding squeaky as he took one swift step back and said, "You are a little slow." With that he shut the door at my face again, reminding me of my conquests of entering in his apartment.
This time, while I cursed myself for having a stupid crush on the biggest jerk of all, Dylan was cursing him loudly for being an a*shole. But as expected, Ashton didn't sound least bit guilty as the sounds of his laughter could be heard on my side, and because of the crush on him, I couldn't help but smile a bit at his rare laughter.
The door suddenly opened, revealing a quite pissed off Dylan apologizing to me. "My brother is a d*ckhead, Liana. I'm really sorry on his behalf."
Before I could tell him that it was okay, Ashton yelled from his living room. "Whose behalf? I'm not sorry!"
I shook my head at him. "Ignore him," Dylan suggested, making way for me to enter inside.
"Thanks." I shot him a smile and entered inside the living room, where Ashton was sprawled, looking at me with a smirk fixed on his face. I did what Dylan had suggested me to do. Probably, ignoring him would help me in crushing my crush.
My eyes went from one brother to the other and I couldn't help but think that how damn different they were from each other. Dylan was probably the definition of 'perfection' with his perfectly fitted suit, well combed hair and sharp features. He had a way with everything, be it charming his clients or girls. He was someone who had his life well planned; who knew what he wanted to do with his life; what he wanted from his life. He was completely sorted in every way.
Ashton, on the other hand, was the complete opposite in his appearance and behavior. He acted on instinct. Nothing was planned for him and he didn't even look like someone who wanted to plan his future. He was far from charming but he still had a way with girls. He was a bundle of mysteries; a smirking mystery and I was a curious cat. He was a mess in every way; and I liked this mess.
"Why are you here?" he asked from Dylan who sat down on the couch, so all three of us were sitting in the shape of an isosceles triangle.
He shrugged and replied, "You left no choice as you were ignoring all calls from Mom and me." Ashton rolled his eyes at him and looked towards me. Just as he opened his mouth to say something, Dylan interrupted, "I need to talk to you privately." Ashton's face snapped towards his brother and he frowned slightly.
"If you had to talk to me 'privately', then why did you let her inside?" he asked, looking at Dylan as if he was really dumb.
"Aww... that's the sweetest thing I have heard today. You just made me day, Ashton," I cooed sarcastically, which made me smirk at me in amusement and Dylan chuckle. Rolling my eyes, I mumbled in annoyance, "I have to use the bathroom anyways."
"Use the one in my bedroom. The door of this one needs to be fixed," Ashton told me and focused his attention on his brother.
"I hope you'll fix it in the coming year," I mumbled my comment about his laziness when I got up and turned around. I heard Dylan snicker behind me and could feel Ashton's narrowed gaze at my back as I walked away. Or was it on my butt? That made me pick up my speed and enter his room.
I closed the door slightly when I stepped in to show to them that I had no intention of eavesdropping. Though that's exactly what I did the moment I closed the door.
"So what is it that you want to talk about?" Ashton asked his brother. "Privately, I might add." He stressed on 'privately', and added, "And please keep your pitch at the same level as mine, we wouldn't want Liana's eavesdropping skills to go down the gutter. Right, Liana?"
"Yup!" I replied in an instant to his question, and face palmed so hard that I most probably broke my nose.
"Idiot." He laughed on the other side of the wall, while I, repeatedly, slapped my forehead for the stupid slip out. "Do you want me to come inside and lock you in the bathroom?" he yelled in his mock stern tone.
Rolling my eyes at my incredibly stupid goof up, I yelled back, "No need. I'm going." With that, I stepped inside the bathroom whose door was already slightly open and closed it with a loud thud. Once I was done with my business and had washed my hands, I looked around the bathroom. It was just as simple as his room; white tiles; no fancy decorations. My eyes wandered to the products that were lined up in a glass shelf and with a stalker like smile on my face, I went towards that shelf. I had the perfect opportunity of finding out about the reasons of his addicting fragrance.
A snort left my throat when I noticed a shaving cream, razor, and an after shave all placed very nicely on the shelf. "As if he'll use it in the near future," I mumbled with a smile.
When I was done with the inspection, I slowly opened the door trying to make no noise and entered in his bedroom. My eyes again fell on the door that was right opposite the bathroom. Curiosity got the best of me and I found myself walking towards it. I tried to open the door but it was in vain. It was locked which made me frown in deep confusion.
What lied behind the door? What was Ashton trying to hide? For all I knew, he could have a secret closet where he might be hiding some dead bodies. It was obvious since day one that Ashton Parker was a huge mystery and this locked door just added to it.
With a sigh, I stepped back and just as I was about to sit on the bed and wait for their 'private conversation' to get over, I heard Ashton say loudly, "...if that means playing with her own son's life?" My eyes widened and very discreetly, I again tried to use my eavesdropping skills by leaning against the lightly closed door. He continued in a very highly pissed voice, "Even if that means using her own son as a f*cking object for a rubbish article? Using her own son for damn project and making him meet some bimbettes, making fun of every person involved in this damn thing? Oh... but then again, I shouldn't be the one speaking all this, after all I'm not her son."
A light gasp escaped my lips as my eyes widened in shock at the revelation. What was he saying? Was it the truth or was it merely in frustration?
"Shut the f*ck up. Liana might hear you," Dylan hissed. He sounded like he, too, had lost his cool by now.
"Do I look like I f*cking care?" Ashton yelled, taking out his anger in those words and making me flinch. There was deadly silence for the next one minute, during which all I could hear were my own irregular breaths with a hand over my heart. At the end of that dreadful minute, a loud thud of the door closing could be heard.
I briefly wondered who had gone out of the apartment and my question was answered when Dylan opened the bedroom door, making me step back from it. It was Ashton. Dylan ran his fingers through his dark hair and shot a strained smile in my direction. I tried to do the same but my curiosity didn't let me smile. He sighed heavily, still standing at the door frame and said, "Liana, I apologize on my mom's behalf for dragging you in this mess."
'I don't mind the mess anymore,' I wanted to tell him but kept quite.
Noticing my silence for next new moments, he said, "I don't know when he'll be back and where he has gone. Let's go. I'll drop you to your place."
Shaking my head, I asked in a low voice, "I'm working on a project. Remember?" He smiled slightly and I whispered, "I'll stay."
********
A/N
I am so f*cking happy today that I can't even express. XD (No, I'm not getting married...lmao) I just got something very important but very delayed, but hell, my hardwork paid. (That ryhmed) *Happy dance* :D
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Sh*t, I'm so high without even drinking. XD