as soon as they enter my life, they leave.
it's a reoccurring pattern.
as soon as i begin to be honest and open up with people, they leave.
they never stay.
it's weird,
the people you thought you'd trust forever just gone like that.
they go from talking to you, to about you.
for what reason? i couldn't tell you.
it just makes me doubt everything more and more.
is it me or them?
it can't be me if they're the one to apologise right?
i've realised that nobody lasts forever, something i wish i recognised earlier.
i just don't know what to do.
i feel like people rely on me as their therapist, but i don't know who to go with for my own problems.
it's almost as if i let them sit in the back of my mind throughout the day, allowing them to marinate until it comes to the time when i shut my bedroom door and let life overwhelm me.
nobody understands me.
i'm not an outgoing person, i can't easily talk to people, i can't do the things i want to, and yet i'm expected to. i cant tell if i'm overthinking everything or if my theories are true.
i don't think they understand that i'm not joking. i know i need help but i don't know who to go to in order to get it.
i cant continue to have these thoughts because i know if i do then one day i will end up doing something i can't come back from.