"till fate brings you home, i'll wait through your phases"
phases - prettymuch
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✯ january 31st, 2020 ✯
"he really said that?"
eleanor, jack, jonah and zach sat in eleanors bedroom while she filled them in on what had happened during her meet up with daniel, the three boys cringing as she recalled what he'd said to her.
jonah had reached out to her the day before, apologizing and telling her that he missed his friendship with her. she forgave him, one, because she missed him too, and two, because it wouldn't be fair to forgive zach and jack and not him.
"yeah" she frowned, "i'm not broken, you know? i don't need anyone to fix me"
she wasn't mad at daniel for saying what he'd said, she was just a little hurt. did everyone see her that way? as someone who needed to be fixed?
"we know, lee" jack reassured her, almost as if he'd read her mind, "there's nothing wrong with you, and daniel knows that too"
"it was just a poor choice of words" zach added, "he just really wants you to forgive him"
"and i really want to forgive him" she told them honestly, "i miss him and i do love him, but what he did isn't something that i can just move past"
"i know, we get it" jack told her, "but do you really think trying again with him will be so bad?"
she nibbled on her bottom lip as she thought about his question. would trying again with daniel be so bad? no, of course it wouldn't.. but she was so scared of getting her heartbroken again.
"it's not about it being bad" she sighed, "i just don't want to get my heartbroken again"
"he really regrets what he did" jonah softly told her, "but i think you know that, and i think you believe it too"
"i do believe it" she declared. she picked at her finger nails, something she did when she was stressed, "but what if that's not enough?"
"enough for what?" zach asked, confusion laced in his voice.
"for him not to do it again."
the three boys remained silent as they went over her words in their head. in a way she was right, there was no way to tell if daniel would keep his word and not do anything like this again. on the other hand, they could tell how much he loved her and how sorry he was about what he'd done. it was clear that he regretted it, and the desperation to get her back and make up for all the pain he'd caused her was enough for them to believe that he meant it when he said that this would never happen again.
"look" jack started softly, "there's no way to tell what decisions anyone's going to make, but lennie, he loves you-"
"-like so much it's concerning" zach interrupted, earning a glare from jack and jonah
"- and the past year all he's done is sulk" jack sighed, continuing, "what i'm trying to tell you is, you're right. we don't know what the future holds, but we do know that daniel doesn't want anyone else but you. you're his endgame"
eleanor felt butterflies awaken in her stomach at the thought of her being the one that was endgame for daniel. when her and daniel had first started dating, it was something she was convinced was true-something she hoped was true. then everything happened and it quickly became a thought that she pushed to the back of her mind. how could she be endgame for someone who cheated on her? now with three of daniels best friends sitting in front of her and telling her this, it was like the butterflies had reawakened.
"why don't you come by daniels house tonight?" jonah changed the subject, taking note of the way eleanor become too stuck in her own thoughts to acknowledge what jack had said. "we invited some friends to hang out. you can bring isaac and natalia if you want"
"okay" she gave the three of them a half smile, "sounds good"
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"i cannot believe you dragged me here" isaac groaned as him, eleanor, and natalia made their way up the front steps of the seavey boys' home. natalia was all for accompanying ellie, isaac on the other hand... he could think of a million other things he'd rather be doing, "i don't even like these dudes anymore"
"isaac don't be such a debbie downer" natalia teased, giving him a slight nudge up the stairs, "we're not here for them, we're here for your sister"
"yeah, well, my sister should want to be anywhere but here right now" he sent said sister a slight glare, but it was replaced with a confused look when he noticed her sitting at the bottom of the steps, "what the hell are you doing?"
"sitting on the ground"
"obviously" natalia frowned, "may we ask why?"
"isaacs right" she decided, "we shouldn't be here"
"glad it's something we could agree on" he smiled, "now let's get out of here" he began making his way down the steps but was stopped when natalia latched on to the back of his shirt
"both of you get it together" she scolded. she released his shirt and turned to eleanor, "look, i know you're nervous about seeing daniel, but you knew this was bound to happen. you're rekindling your friendship with four boys who he's with practically every day. i love you, but in order to get over your nerves, you need to face what's making you nervous" she told the girl honestly. she reached out her hand, to which eleanor gratefully accepted, and helped her up off the steps before turning her attention to isaac , "as for you, you can be civil for one night. if not for them, do it for your sister"
he let out a huff before making his way up the stairs once again, "let's just get this over with."
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the inside of daniels home was loud and crowded and it all felt unfamiliar to eleanor. it was a house that she'd been in too many times to count, but it was no longer a place that she felt comfortable in.
she reached out and grabbed on to one of natalias hands, relaxing slightly when she turned back and sent her a reassuring smile.
the three walked through the kitchen and into the living room area where all of the why don't we boys (plus christian) were sat. the boys faces brightened once they noticed her and daniel practically jumped up from his seat
"hey! we, uh, we didn't think you were gonna come"
"well, here we are" eleanor smiled timidly at him, her grip on natties hand tightening slightly.
"we're really glad you could make it" christian told them, "feel free to help yourself to anything"
"how about the front door?" isaac mumbled. he didn't think anyone had heard him, but judging by the harsh pinch nattie gave him on his arm, he was assuming she did.
the trio took a seat on one of the couches and quickly became engaged in conversation with everyone else. it reminded eleanor of old times and it was a bitter sweet feeling for her. physically, she was involved in the conversation with her friends, mentally, she couldn't stop thinking about how much she missed moments like this being a regular thing.
she was brought from her thoughts when natalia gave her a gentle nudge, "you should go talk to daniel. i know that's why you really brought us here" she whispered in her ear, sending her a comforting smile
eleanor sighed, but obliged. she couldn't deny that nattie was right. deep down, she had brought them here in hopes of finding the courage to talk to daniel. she was tired of avoiding him. she didn't know about getting back together, but being friends would be a good start.
she made her way over to where daniel was talking to a pretty girl. she ignored the jealousy that coarsed through her and swiftly interrupted the conversation, "hey, uh.. i'm so sorry to interrupt. i was hoping we could talk?"
a look of surprise flashed across daniels face, but he agreed nonetheless, "yeah, of course" he smiled softly at her. he turned to the girl he'd been talking to and sent her a sorry look, "it was nice talking to you renee, i'll catch up with you later"
eleanor hadnt missed the harsh glare the girl had sent her way when daniel turned away from her, though she chose to ignore it. she wasn't here to make enemies, she was here to fix friendships.
she followed daniel down the hallway and into his bedroom. her heart clenched at the sight of it. the last time she was in here she'd stumbled upon something she so badly wished she could forget.
"it's quiet in here.." he explained, "so i, um, i figured it'd be easier to talk"
"yeah, don't worry about it" she dismissed, deciding to ignore all of the memories that seemed to be flashing in her mind at the moment, "look, daniel" she sighed, "ive been doing a lot of thinking and i, uh, i think we should try and be friends. i'm trying really hard to rekindle my friendship with the boys and i don't want our issues to interfere with that"
"i don't know how to be just friends with you, lennie"
"well you're going to have to try" she told him, "we have to start slow, alright? this is a lot for me"
"i know it is, ellie, but i cant be just friends with the girl i'm in love with" he begged
"if i can be friends with the guy who cheated on me, then you can find a way to manage" she snapped at him. she frustratedly ran her hand through her hair, willing her heart rate to go down. she was beginning to regret coming here.
noticing her distress, daniel sighed and nodded, "you're right. i just want you in my life, lee" he told her, "and if being friends is what you want... then i'll make it work"
she smiled gratefully and turned to his bedroom door. she went to open it but paused. turning back to him, a sad smile graced her lips, "i meant what i said at the pizza place" she admitted, "i do love you and i do miss you, but i just need time, daniel" she pleaded with him, "i need you to understand that"
"take all the time you need, lennie, i'd wait for you forever if i had to"