January 29, 1521
Sussex, England
And so I tell him.
I tell him everything that happened between Anne and George-about their betrayal, their deception. As I told Edmund in the solar, all was silent. He gave one dismissive nod to me, wanting himself to be in the solitude of his room and his liquor. I told him I was sorry but he only looked at me with weary eyes. He turned his head away and onto the fireplace his eyes went, saying in a strangled voice, "Please go."
I touched his arm and retreated quietly away from the room, the door clicking shut behind me. Now I am here outside the solar with my back on the door. I ignore the two guards on each side of the oak. I shut my eyes, trying to assure myself that I shall be fine-that Edmund and I will eventually get over this madness and try to live happily as we once were again.
Although we both know that nothing will ever be as it was.
We both loved Anne and George, and we still do. I can tell just by looking into the iris-purple depths of my dear brother-in-law. Only an addle-pate cannot decipher the crestfallen expression on Edmund's face. Sooner or later, the servants and his friends will be curious about the Duke of Brightam's changed from his usual lively mood to this new one.
I push myself away from the door, thinking that I ought to rest for thinking of this deception that makes me weary. But then I hear a yell.
Curious, I follow the voice and the nearer I get, the more the voice sounds familiar to me. I go out to the archery butts, seeing Molly throwing her hat to a porter in front of her while the other is trying to calm her obvious mounting wrath. It makes her wilder for the one trying to keep her at bay is holding her by the belly, keeping her away from clawing the porter in front of her. "I am a woman, as you can see, you bolting cur!" she screeches, kicking and thrashing against the man holding her still. He is obviously struggling.
"Just apologize, John! I cannot hold her much longer!"
"Aye, but-" John tries to say.
"Aye, what?" the other demands.
"D'you really think I can let get away for just apologizing?" Molly hisses furiously, wriggling against her poor captor. "I ought to scratch both your eyes out before I forgive either of you!"
Every servant and knight of the Duke of Brightam is speculating a very amusing yet horrifying scene.
"That," John concluded, swallowing audibly, gesturing to the tempestuous beauty trying to kill him in public. He eyes his companion worriedly. "Are ye all right?" he asks him.
His friend fumes, as do Molly.
"Am I all right?" he booms. "Ye try to be in my place an' tell me how ye feel!"
Molly cannot take another of this anymore and she lifts a leg backwards, hitting her captor's delicate lower, middle part. Hard.
He yelps in agony, making Molly wriggle from his grasp. She turns to John with a deadly glare. "Had you not seen me with the marchioness?" she demands, fuming. "Thank you very much for trying to assault a woman who is innocent."
"I be sorry, milady," John mumbles shamefully, scooting down to help his friend on the ground.
"Oh, let me help!" Molly says loudly, grabbing the poor man on the arm while John takes the other.
"Thank ye," he mutters.
"Hmmph!"
"Molly," I call out, walking toward her. John and his friend-as well as the other servants out in the garden, working-bows or curtsies to me. "What ever has happened to you?"
Molly glares at the porters behind her. "They thought I was a trespassing lad that should rightfully be thrown into those beastly gators. 'Twasn't my fault that I didn't take my hat to reveal that I am a true lass; 'twas too bright to even take it off in the first place."
"I am sure," I begin softly, "that they did not mean to do what they were about to do. They were only following rules here. Every castle has the same rule that no trespassers are allowed; and unfortunately they thought you were one."
The two guards nod their agreement vigorously, apologizing to Molly.
"So there is no need to be hysterical, dear Molly," I continue, putting an arm around her slender shoulders.
"But they were about to throw me to the gators! What d'you expect me to do? Go willingly without having a little rumble?"
I arch a brow. "You could have just taken your hat off."
Molly mumbles something regarding intelligent women soon invading the world in the near future. I chuckled, shaking my head at her thought. "You're one of us, too," I point out.
"I know," she replies, "but whilst I start to invade the world soon, I rather think it's appealing not to interfere either way."
The guards standing before us look confused.
I throw my head back and laugh aloud. "You always seem to have me laughing, my friend. Such a jester you are!"
"I'm no joker, if that's what you mean."
"I certainly know that." I smile at her, then look at the guards. "You ought to get some rest," I tell the man who is in agony. "'Twill do you good. The pain, I am sure, will vanish soon enough." They nod, thanking me.
"And I am also sure that my friend here"-I look pointedly at Molly beside me-"will apologize for her daring behavior toward you. You did apologize, the both of you men, but she also did something very...er...shall we say, hurtful."
"But I did that to protect myself!" Molly protests.
"Molly."
"Do I have no say for what is right?" she demands.
"Nay. You already stated your side; all of us understand the reason on both sides. Now 'tis time to apologize since the two men here already did it."
Molly grumbles. "Fine!" She stares straight into the man who she hurt. "I apologize for my rude behavior. 'Tis unladylike, but you must understand that I was only merely trying to defend myself and my pride."
"Of course, milady. We understand perfectly," Pained Man says, giving her a little smile.
"Ye could have just taketh yer cap off so we coul'da 'tleast know ye were a lassy," John says rather stupidly.
"Idiot!" Pained Man hisses.
"Why, you little-" Molly begins through gritted teeth, ready to tear the man apart.
I quickly grab Molly's arms, steering her away. "All right, everyone! Dame Molly has apologized, the three of you are right well, so we have nothing to worry about. Let us be off, Molly! Sleep is what we need. Didn't you say you wanted to show me that beautiful view just right through our window in our bedchamber?" I widen my eyes to let Molly realize I want her to simply follow me.
Molly, obviously, does not get what I mean. "But I have not even seen the roo-"
"Oh, we ought to do something about your hair! Plait it before we sleep!"
"But-"
"Fair ye well!" I say to the guards. I wave frantically, practically pushing Molly into the castle.
As soon as the door closes behind us, Molly whisper-hisses, "Whatever did you do that for? I am perfectly capable of handling the situation at hand by myself, without help whatsoever."
"Oh really?" I say peevishly. "What if you were thrown out to the gators like you feared?"
"I didn't -- I was-" she sputters fiercely. "I was not afraid! I -- you see...they -- Oh, damn and blast, I could've taken my hat off!"
"Mhmm," I say, an amused smile creeping at the corners of my mouth. "That's what they all say."
Molly splutters some more.
"Keep talking, Molly. I have all day to listen to you sputtering."
"Hmmph!"
*****
This evening, we are inside out bedchamber, with Molly plaiting my hair before we go to slumber. I have tried drastically to plait my hair perfectly like Molly's, but I failed to no avail. 'Tis very frustrating not knowing how to braid. And they say the Daevas know many things. Ha.
"Doesn't have to be perfect," my acolyte explains to me. "'Twill be ruined once your head plops onto the pillows eventually. What is the point, anyway?"
I grumble.
When she's done, I rest my head on her shoulder, feeling like I am safe and sound. We ate out supper here, for the maids told me that Edmund will not be taking supper anytime soon. They all seemed very worried that their master has not yet come out of the solar. He has been locking himself away for nearly five hours now. I am so worried for him, but how can I help if he does not want anyone's company? He wants time for himself for the moment. I cannot just go barging in. He might be very angry with me.
"I wish everything is peaceful in the world and in our lives like this moment," I say quietly, playing with the tail of my plait tied with a white ribband. "As if not a single problem in the world shall ever happen to us."
"'Tis part of life, Your Grace," Molly states. "Life is nothing without a little imperfection in it. We all learn from the mistakes we make; we all learn from the hardship that life brings to us. 'Tis the way it is." We both take a deep breath, silent.
"I know," I agree. "But just once. Look at me -- look at Edmund. I knew I should not have told him about his wife and my husband. Look at what is happening to our lives? I was cheated; Edmund's wife cuckolded him. We cannot live mirthful lives. Nothing is the same as it was before when everything seemed perfect with no false pretenses."
"'Tis not your fault. 'Tis not his grace's fault. Both of you had no idea what was to come. Both of you did not know that, behind your back, your beloved ones were lovers. So don't blame yourself, Venise."
"If only I had been a good wife. If only I knew how to please my husband like Anne instead of displeasing him. I always knew I was the weak one; that Anne gets whatever she wants with just one word or stare. Unfortunately, I am her opposite."
"Stop that!" Molly hisses, shaking me. "Do not ever blame yourself for what they did. Do not even think that your vile sister is better than you! You are so much different from her. I know, because many tongues have been wagging for months now about Anne D'Onofrio's scandalous behavior in her home and in the village. Believe me, I know what they've been saying is true just by you telling me what she did to your husband and what her personality has been like for years. Venise" -- she looks at me dead-center in the eye -- "she is the very devil herself. She is wicked. If she was not Daevas, she would have been called a dark witch; a worker for the most unholy. Actually...Brightam's village people are already declaring her as that."
Without saying a word, I begin to feel hot tears rolling down my cheeks, unable to be taken back. My shoulders start to shake and I sob. I feel the spasms convulsing out of my chest murderously, but I do not stop. I just cry and cry until all the pain in the world is gone from me.
But still, it does not work. I feel heavier; I feel that feeling inside me gnawing at my stomach.
Molly tries to shush me, but it makes me feel worse. I feel so weak inside.
"Everything is different now, I know," Molly whispers, hugging me. "And I also know that things are never going to be the same ever again but remember that 'tis not your doing for feeling so miserable. 'Tis not Edmund's fault, as well. If Anne and George committed a sin, 'tis their transgression, not yours or the duke's."
She is right, but something in me wants to change that. I still love my sister very much as do I with George, helplessly. Part of me wants to scream in hatred for them, but another part of me also wants to come back into my husband's arms, to feel his musky scent, his gentle caresses. I want to laugh with my sister, to see her beautiful eyes shine brightly with mirth.
But everything is not the same anymore. Molly is right. Everything is different and things are never going to be the same again.
I feel so hurt and confused about everything. I slowly get away from her arms, getting out of the bed and picking up my shawl.
"Venise?" Molly queries worriedly. "Where are you going?"
I turn around, my eyes a sad emerald green. "Please don't wait up for me. I just need some time alone."
My companion is wise because she only nods gravely, watching my back retreat as I open the door.