Xenia sat on the bed next to Caroline, vainly trying to get her to speak. It was frustrating, the woman who could once talk people to death was silent - well, almost. She would speak occasionally, but it was different. This wasn't entirely her.
She missed the old times, when they were but two normal girls against the world. The times when they both were human, without monsters and magic - these times had been so easy.
If Loki had fallen through another roof all of this would've never happened. Caroline would have never fallen for Tom and Loki never for her. Xenia would've been alive, too.
"Remember when Cole got so drunk he puked all over your anatomy book?" Xenia asked and smiled, her smile only weakened by the sight of her best friend's abdomen. It was unsettling, and she tried hard not to stare.
"He knew he was dead then." Caroline replied and returned the smile. "It's worth more than his whole life."
"And when we were in L.A.! Gosh, that's was so awesome. I've never had that much fast food in my life."
"Xenia, I remember everything clearly from my normal life. I remember what we both did, and what happened after - "
She hesitated.
"After?" Xenia encouraged.
"After he fell through our roof. The days of not knowing, the days of knowing and crying, the days after I thought I'd lost you forever."
"What else?" The angel asked slowly.
"Are you interrogating me, Xenia?"
"I'm a lawyer, so, duh."
Caroline exhaled audibly through her nose and smiled. "I'll give you that one."
They both remained silent for a moment. Xenia knew that Caroline wouldn't answer any more questions at this point, and even if she would, it would've only hurt her.
"Say his name, Caroline." Xenia urged softly. "You both deserve so much at least."
"I can't."
"But you do know it?"
Their conversation was interrupted as Tom and Edward walked in. They had been out, for some fresh air as the girls assumed. Little did they know, it had been more of a war council. Xenia would be informed soon.
She liked Edward, more than one should after knowing him for such a short time. Xenia chastised herself, she must not think like that. It was more than complicated already, as an angel.
Not all souls are granted the mercy of redemption. She had been, as a guardian angel, and creatures like her were meant to remain pure on their path to redemption. If she let this go on, the consequences were clear - banishment to Earth forever.
Hell was empty, for all the devils were here.
She contemplated if it was a bad thing. Did she not want to stay there? Do whatever she wanted, forever. The lure of the forbidden, it was tremendous, even for a guardian. As all destructive things.
As she walked out into the main room, Xenia thought to herself, she had no problem really with becoming a fallen angel. Their name was characteristic, 'fallen' meant they 'fell' to Earth in the course of their banishment.
It just made so much sense then. I would be like him and he like me. That was what she wanted, what she 'truly desired' as Loki would put it.
"You could at least put up a fight before surrendering so submissively."
She gasped and spun around, just to see him standing in the door frame, smirking.
"What?"
"I'm sorry, I really am, but I can't help it." Edward explained and approached. "I'm like Loki in that sense, it's my aura. Corrupts people."
"You - " She stuttered, but didn't know what to say.
"Yes, Xenia, my lovely corruptible guardian angel, I have just made you doubt your mission just by being near." He said condescendingly and proceeded to light a cigarette.
"Also, to address your next matter - no, I will not get lung cancer and die as I am immortal."
"What the actual fuck." The words now finally left her mouth. "Do you know how anti-social it is to read minds without consent?" She snapped at him and facepalmed at her embarrassment. Could she not think of a more appropriate insult than ‚anti-social'?
"Apparently not." He smirked.
"Stop it!"
"Stop what?"
"You know exactly what!"
"How would I know? Not like I can read minds." He purred.
She couldn't help it, she stamped her foot and went out of the room, ramming his shoulder - more like, his arm - in the process. Such an asshole.
"Good angels don't say things like that." He shouted after her and heard a high-pitched 'fuck you' from outside. Edward walked out as well, just underneath the small porch, to continue smoking.
It was already dark, not too cold - but it was coming. Not long and it would rain, it was predestined with him around. She would soon come back and stop taking everything so hard, he thought to himself. As he the proceeded to finish his cigarette - having taken remarkably much time - and Xenia still wasn't back, he sighed. Edward let go of the stub and trod it into the ground, intending to go after her.
Xenia in the mean time was wallowing in self-pity. She felt weak, embarrassed, played like a child. She hated the feeling. What topped it all was that, even in supposed contempt for Edward, she still liked him. She felt drawn to him, as any female would have. Ancient cults would have called him an incubus.
She had met lots of men in her life, lots of assholes as she would say, and everyone was more stupid than the previous one.
Edward was an asshole, but certainly not stupid. He was classy, and Xenia only then realized that it was this which she had searched for all her short life - class. Her ex-boyfriend Cole was filthy rich, but it wasn't what she had looked for. No money could buy class.
He reminded her very much of Loki, he was his son after all. She was never someone to be hurt easily, the exact opposite of sensitive actually, but this somehow cut into her heart. Angel or not, she could feel pain and in that moment, she did. She was hurt by what he made her think. Guilt.
After a good while of walking deeper and deeper into the black forest, she finally became aware of the fact that she had lost the path in an attempt to ugly-cry alone. There were only few things she hated more than crying in front of people, so if she had to, she cried alone. People who hurt her shouldn't see that they succeeded.
Xenia grew desperate, and with a resigned sigh, she sat down under a tree. She curled up her legs and stared at the ground, crying. It was quiet, silent weeping with tears flowing soundlessly out of the corners of her eyes. An angel's tears. Guilt.
After but a few seconds on the ground she noticed it was indeed cold, the realization came too late. She had stormed out of the cabin without a jacket. She didn't even have the time to think the sentence How could it get worse? as it already got worse - it started pouring.
The angel cussed incomprehensibly under her breath and stood up in an attempt to orient herself.
"You will pass over, I promise you that."
Xenia gasped, her head shot up. There he stood, like a fallen prince, there to save to her.
"Piss off." She glared at him with puffy eyes, but added only a moment later "What do you mean?"
Edward smirked and offered her his hand. "Walk with me."
___
"I just wanted to make sure you don't freeze to death. Would've been a shame with your beauty."
Xenia rolled her eyes and scoffed from under Araziel's black coat of eternal darkness. She tried to cover her nervousness with humor.
"Flattery won't get you anywhere with me."
"And where exactly do you assume I want to get with you?"
After a moment of thinking, Xenia replied "To hell, I guess."
Edward laughed, it was so unexpected and odd, it threw her completely off guard. "Hey, what's so funny?"
"You." He answered in a heartbeat, still laughing. "Xenia, I like you. Therefore let me assure you, I have no intentions of dragging you to hell. You will pass over to the other side, as I said."
Xenia crossed her arms under his coat. "I wouldn't ever betray my mission."
"Do we have to pretend that you have a choice?"
She stopped suddenly in her tracks, glaring at him. "Cut the crap, okay? This disrespectful, self-absorbed, toxic stance of Loki's, that the entire world has to bow to your will."
Araziel stopped as well, a few steps ahead of her. She had shouted her hateful tirade at his back, and now he was slowly turning to her. His eyes were sinful and unsettling.
"Thin ice." He hissed. His gaze and tone made Xenia reconsider provoking him any further. "Now walk, or I will make you walk."
So she did. They walked beside each other for another while, silently, and Xenia noticed just how far she had gotten. It was a good thing he had come after her. It was getting quite uncomfortable.
"So." Xenia began, stretching the 'o' unnecessarily. "You think I'm beautiful?"
"One of the most exquisite flowers in God's garden." Edward replied after sighing.
She thought to herself, she wouldn't fall for something like this. It was just another lame pick-up line.
"If you want to impress me, you'll need get yourself better pick-up lines."
"Are you seriously trying to teach me in matters of seduction?" He scoffed and glanced down at Xenia with his way-too-large looking coat on her.
"No, I'm just saying, 'same play, different women' won't work on me."
"I knew how to find entertainment, that's true I'm afraid. Not that it ever mattered."
"Ah, so that's what I am. Well, at least I'm entertaining." She scoffed sarcastically, but deep down knew he could have any woman he wanted. The problem was that not every woman would be so fond of her new father-in-law.
"I just called you unimaginably beautiful, and all you heard was 'entertainment'. God, you women."
"I'm not the only one here with a weakness for drama."
"Quite so, it's dramatic how you desperately attempt to conceal that you crave my presence." Edward retorted.
"Hey, don't you come with that attitude of your dad. I beat his ass and I can do the same to you." She threatened in an attempt to save her pride.
"Says the dead girl."
Before Xenia could retort anything, she stumbled over a log. Not a moment too soon, a strong arm wound around her and saved her face from hitting the wet, mossy ground.
"Dead, but not gone any time soon. Unlike you, if the sign on your arm is correct."
She struggled free from his hold. "It's getting to your neck, isn't it? The spell of time will spread up your veins and devour you whole, before sending you back to where you belong."
Where you cannot hurt me, she added in her head.
Xenia had never seen a face like that, burning and murderous, pained and out of hell. The devil was a fallen angel, too. Araziel, this was the face of Araziel, the fallen angel. She only had a split second to regret her words, for a hand locked deadly around her throat before she could process what happened.
"Perhaps I will send you to hell after all, after torturing every little will to live out of you, after putting your so desperately craved pass-over in front of you and then snatching it away, after leading Loki right to your doors, where he will kill Thomas and take Caroline away for good, perhaps I will do all of this if you dare say one more word."
"I'm... sorry." Xenia managed to choke out. He loosened his grip a little.
"They all were."
Araziel then let go and turned away. Xenia remained standing and put her hands on her sore neck, breathing heavily. "Who?"
"Hundreds, if not thousands of them. Humans, immortals. Everyone I was sent to take. All of them dead." He lowered his head.
"You couldn't help it. Loki had brainwashed y - "
"Don't you ever say his name." He interrupted her and turned around, his expression surprisingly soft. "Not in front of me. It's gruesome, the future. I need my senses to prevent it. Help me keep them, please."
The guilt of the universe weighed down on his shoulders, he had fought so long. Oh, the face of this man, Xenia thought. He truly burnt, with the most wicked of emotions one could feel. Forget about hatred, fear - the strongest demon went by the name guilt.
Xenia approached him and, very cautiously and slowly, put her hand on his chest. "Edward. You're warm. Your heart beats."
"If only not forever." He closed his eyes, swallowed. "I was born a shadow, much like Caroline and Thomas are. Silver blood, life span of a hundred years, enhanced abilities. He transformed me, successfully this time."
"If we succeed, it won't happen."
"Not one tender word left his lips for me, as far as I can remember. I've never felt much, these things are new to me. Not exactly helpful for such an unstable mind." He reminisced, ignoring Xenia's previous statement.
"But it helps." She replied, proceeding to massage his arms loose. "You're not even that tense when I touch you." A hint of tease was in her voice.
"Your touch is pleasant, yes." He admitted, having caught on. "I'm wondering... No, that would be too much."
"Hey, don't start shit if you can't finish it." Xenia quoted, visibly annoyed. If he didn't wanted to tell, he shouldn't have made her curious.
"I'd really rather not, lovely guardian."
"Stop teasing me and spit it out, come on." She insisted. They had already started walking again.
"Fine." Edward sighed.
He suddenly grabbed her wrist and turned her around to face him. His stare was so intense, any other guy would have scared the shit out of her, but with Edward she felt different.
"Say, do you like me?"
"Why are you asking me this?"
"Do me the favour, answer honestly. This is already uncomfortable enough."
"You can look into my head for that, read me as always do." Xenia mocked again. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"I tell you once again, Xenia, I am sorry." It was the first time he had used her name. It sounded sinfully good in her ears.
"If it hurt you, then know it was never intended to be offending. From now on, let me promise you that I will not intrude in your mind without your consent - at least, not that often." He chuckled.
"That's probably the best deal I'll get. Fine with me, you shall be forgiven." Xenia nodded, mimicking his way of speaking. She wanted to proceed, but noticed Edward looking at her, almost expectantly.
"What?" She asked once again. "We're done, right?"
He wasn't fooling around then, and Xenia realized neither should she. He was expecting a reply, an honest, serious one. She felt bad for him, and thought to herself - what could she possibly lose by just -
In the next moment, before she could contemplate her action any further, she summoned all her strength and grabbed his collar forcefully. She pulled him closer and crushed her lips to his. Something like this worked in Disney movies, did it not? And after all they were myths, so why should this not work in reality, too?
The kiss startled him at first, but he didn't fight. Xenia felt it through his lips and body, felt his urge to resist - his other side had no use for sentiment. But he was more than that - or he wouldn't have come to their aid in the first place. Loki could have never exorcised all of Caroline out of him.
Part of him would always be different.
Xenia won this side by awakening his passion. Of course someone like him really never knew passion besides raw lust for blood and flesh - it was so little of what was out there. A real connection, and this kiss felt to Edward so much better than all the women Araziel had had combined.
Edward really felt warm, it had surprised both Xenia and Tom. Loki's offspring he was, that could not be denied, and he had transformed him. Despite all of this, Edward was just as warm as a human.
Xenia gazed into his tormented eyes and put her hand on his cheeks soft as petals. Edward was of an exquisite beauty, from the inside and the outside. His twilight drew her to him.
In the moment he return the kiss, a searing pain stabbed through Xenia's chest. Her heart, God, was this a stroke? It was agonizing, felt as if it was tearing out of her.
In the next second a lightning bolt struck the place, and they were separated forcefully. She found herself lying on her back staring wide-eyed at the thunder clouds, every muscle was painfully tense.
Lightning proceeded hitting her chest, one after the other, the electric shocks shot through her body uncontrollably.
No, the pain hadn't been a stroke - it expanded everywhere, concentrating on her back. It hurt, and she could only watch powerlessly and wait.
Her body repelled her wings, the invisible wings marking her as a guardian on the path of redemption. It was then denied to her.
Edward knelt beside her. "No, it can't be."
She looked unconscious. "No, no, Xenia, no - "
She opened her eyes, turned her face to him, let her head sink again and closed her eyes. She had done it. Falling for a fallen angel. This was so ironic, a terrible joke.
"I'm fine, really - "
"Anything but that. You fell." Edward helped her sit up.
"You don't say." She groaned and rubbed her sore back.
"This is no joke. I mean, you fell... like me."
"A fallen angel." The realization was odd, but it didn't hurt. Almost as if she had always known, subconsciously.
"Like you." She repeated slowly to herself.
Suddenly, Edward let out a bitter laugh. "Why does it surprise me, everywhere I go there is doom, destruction, death."
"Can you please try not to make it your fault? It's annoying."
"Don't you understand, you stupid girl."
Xenia halted at this and turned around. She took it quite well, only the stupid-thing she would not take.
"I promised you, only moments ago, and now your passage to redemption is blocked forever." He stared as his hand for a second, then clenched it forcefully, so much it started shaking.
Thunder erupted in the sky yet again, but differently. Xenia knew immediately.
"Hey, hey." She walked closer to him, put her small hand on his shaking fist. "Please, don't."
Xenia thought she would never see this, but there were tears. Seemingly black, leaving behind a dark red trail. There was no way for him to hide it in the rain.
Demons cry the blood of their victims.
"I will carry this guilt as long as I exist."
"There's worse. Really."
"Don't take it so easy. I am burdened with a curse, not a glorious purpose. Do you realize what eternity means? You will die in thousands of years, nothing last forever. But don't you ever underestimate these millennia. It's torturous."
"You said it's irrevocable. We both need to be strong in these times, Edward. Tormenting yourself won't help anyone."
"You don't deserve to be like me."
"Then let it be worth it, at least!"
Xenia grabbed his face and turned it to her, looking through his eyes into something indescribably deeper and stronger.
"If we are doomed, then for the sake of every thing good and holy, let us finish what you started."