Song
I'm okay though
'The bad feelings will go away eventually'
*
baileys pov*
It was the first day of school after the summer break. Fucking fantastic.
I was sitting on the bathroom floor next to ally recovering from my 2nd anxiety attack of the morning. She was the only person I would ever let see me like that. I don't know what I'd do without her.
She really was a best friend.
"yeah fuck no I'm not going"
"shut up don't be stupid. yes you can do it love, just like any normal day" Placing a hand on my back, letting my subconscious know that she's there.
"but it's not. everything has changed! the classes the people the teachers everything" i said, taking deep breaths in between each word to steady myself.
"nope don't you fucking dare bestie we are done here let's go" she pulled my hand, forcefully making me stand up.
I dug my feet into the bathroom floor, causing my Van's to squeak against the tiles.
"Bailey Ally hurry your going to be late" mum shouted up the stairs. She does know how to pick her moments.
"comming!" Ally shouted back, I didn't even bother trying to form an answer.
Ally ran to my bedside table before we went downstairs. She dug through my draw and pulled out my very much hated little orange bottle of my anxiety medication.
She held it infront of me and looked into my eyes "no. no! not happening. im not taking them" i protested and folded my arms, trying my hardest not to cave into her puppy dog eyes.
"but they will help! please at least just try if you hate it then i wont make you again" She held her pinky finger up, awaiting me to return the promise.
the way she looked at me and how she worded things made me melt and go soft "ok ok only becase its you"
i took them out of her hand and hooked my finger around hers with the other. After taking a deep breath I took 2 of them.
...
Ally drove to school after saying our goodbyes to my mum. With 80s music blasting the whole way we pulled up into her usual parking spot in the school lot.
After getting out we made it to out lockers Everthing had changed this year our classes were mixed with our year and the year above. Meaning 120+ more people I potentially had to sit in several rooms with.
Ally and me separated and went to our lockers as they were on compleate diffrent floors. Thanks school. I got out my maths book and threw the rest of my books in the locker with a slight thud.
"well fancy seeing you here Bailey" i heard a deep but slightly familiar voice say. I turned to look who it was as i closed my locker, i was supriesed anyone would want to talk to me being the freak and all.
What i saw when i closed my locker filled me with enough shock to kill a small animal.
"oh hay Abe i didn't think you came here" i said so quietly I'm surprised he heard.
"yeah me neither, it turns out my old shool kicked me out and didn't tell me so i get the privilege of comming here. where's your first class? i have no fucking clue where i'm going" he said talking to me like i was a normal person.
"erm im in mrs acer's math" I said after checking my timetable to look which teacher I had.
"oh thats wired thats where it says i am too. i thought you were in the year below me?"
"yeah the classes have changed to mixed years" it took me 2x as long to say a simple sentense as it would for Abe to say it. It annoyed me that i couldnt talk like a normal person.
Abe seemed to be very patient with how i spoke most people rolled there eyes and got bored, for some reason not him.
"oh thats cool. i bet your glad Jack isnt in your school and classes to annoy you" he lightly chuckled, attempting to lighten my mood.
if it was even possible.
"yeah i guess"
"well you had better show me where the hell we are going for maths then" he said jokingly.
"are you sure you want to be seen walking with me" i look at the floor as i speak. I didn't want to crush his reputation or something.
Authough abe was only in the year above me i was the youngist in my year so he is really 2 years older than me. Abe was significantly taller than me, although I was only 5'3 so it wasn't all that hard to beat.
"hay...dont say that! i dont care what people think about you want to know why? because i know the real you. your pretty cool actuly" he said sweetly as he put his fingers under my chin to make me look at him, they sent an electrical curant arround my whole body. Leaving tingels after he removed them.
why did I react like that. No its normal..isn't it?
What he said made my heart swell inside of my chest, inevitably leaving my cheeks a shade of pink.
We started walking to maths, all the popular girls were giggling and looking away when they saw Abe but then looked discusted after noticing me hiding behind him.
The attention started to make me feel nervous and self conscious. I subconsciously played with the rings on my fingers.
"hay dont pay attention to them their nothing. Just listen to my voice bee" he leaned down pretty far because of how short i was to whisper in my ear
'ew whos the hotty and why is he waliking with the freak'
'ha its gonna be funny when he finds out she runs out of class all the time'
'whats wrong with her?'
'oh my god look Tilly!'
the whispers filled my head, every single one of them staying and spinning around, repeating themselves over and over.
...
walking into maths i saw not one single person i knew.
"ahh miss bailey ive been waiting for your arival" miss acer said as I walked past her desk. I attempted to make myself look as invisible as humanly possible.
the fuck is that meant to mean?
"could you take a seat next to Abe for me please" well what are the odds of that.
I walked over towards where he was sitting and he looked me and he smiled "i guess were maths buddies"
...
halfway through the lesson was when when they began whispering again.
'how long do you think it will take before he breaks her heart as a joke?'
i wasnt paying attention to the lesson or the things people were saying. i was too busy tapping my fingers on the desk
"bailey! are you paying attention or trying to make a 15 minute song on your desk?" Miss Acer said pulling me from somewhere in my head. My heart was beating out of my chest, my ears ringing from the sudden attention from every single person in the room.
"i-i-i- s-sorry" i managed to spit out causing the whole class other than Abe to sniger and giggle.
I tried to consentrait on the lesson butthere feeling I was going to throw up began growing too hard to ignore. My legs shook under the table to attempt to rid the feeling.
My eyes began watering and Abe noticed "bee whats wrong. Bailey!" he whispered with force.
I couldnt take it anymore. I got up and grabbed my bag and ran out of the classroom within a few seconds.
I got to the bathroom just in time as i threw up.
I shook and breathed uncontrollably, slumping my near lifeless body against the stall wall.
They make me space out i feel empty when i take them. Throwing up was just the start of it all today was not going to be fun.
I closed my eyes and leand my head back when i heard a knock on the bathroom door.
"Bee?! are you in there?"
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hello! i hope you enjoyed the first chapter. sorry for that cliff hanger hehe i gotta make it interesting somehow!
Dont forget to comment it realy helps me!
~ love ya!