~Season 4~ ignore the disappointment that was Nomanda
Noah never really knew what love was. Well, technically he did, but he didn't have much experience with it. He never really grasped the concept of it—what it truly meant to love someone and to be loved by someone. It wasn't something he experienced with his dad, and it was something he messed up with Abi.
He thought he loved his life of taking risks, being the best dancer and attempting tricky moves. But right now, as he sat in the cold hospital bed unable to move his back, he didn't love his life so much anymore. He was stuck in the ward alone, with absolutely nothing he loved. They didn't have lime soda, their pizza tasted like cardboard and his parents had left had left three hours ago. So yeah, he was pretty miserable. Nothing about his life right now was lovable.
He was straight up depressed. He messed up, he knows that, his mum had made that pretty clear. He was just trying to get the team to Regionals! But apparently everything he does goes to shit. He was pretty sure the rest of the team had heard what happened and would hate him, for being so stupid. He was pretty sure not one person in his life loved him.
~~~
The door swings open to reveal the last person Noah had expected to see. Gorgeous blonde hair, eyes shining, and a soft smile that's enough to bring Noah out of his depressing thoughts.
"Richie!"
She smiled and strolled over to the couch against the wall, setting down the red balloon wrapped around her hand, a duffel and her backpack.
"Hey, Noah. How are you feeling?"
She has her back turned to him as she sifts through the duffel, looking for something. Noah could not be happier that his duet partner was here, it was like a beam of light, a glimmer of hope shone around her as she entered.
"Better now... what are you doing here?"
"I'm here to keep you company and take you home, idiot."
She lifts out a TNS sweatshirt and goes over to the side of his bed.
"Here, your mum packed a duffel of some clothes and stuff for you. We thought you'd like to wear something other than the nasty hospital gown."
"Hey, if anyone can rock a hospital gown, it would be me, Richie."
She just snorts and tosses the sweatshirt at him.
"I thought my mum was gonna pick me up?"
"Well, sorry to disappoint you, but you thought wrong."
"No! No no, I didn't mean it like that—I—"
Oh God, Noah already screwed up enough things, and he was about to screw this up too. He stutters and averts his eyes looking anywhere but at her, trying to figure out what to say. He really needs to get better at talking—at feelings.
"Noah, it's fine, I'm joking, she's waiting outside."
He tilts his head to look at her as she takes a seat in the plastic-covered chair by the bed.
"Hmm—well, I'm not. I'm actually glad you're here instead of my mum—she's a little—I—I'm glad you're here, Richelle. Thanks for coming."
"Of course, Noah, you're my Best Friend." A soft smile graced her face.
~~~
Richelle wasn't very fond of hospitals. She hates the way the obnoxious bright lights bounce of the even brighter white walls. The smells that are so grossly familiar—a cocktail of sweat, vomit, metallic stainless steel, strong bleach, and even the scents of get-well-soon flowers. The way the sounds of cries and gasps in the waiting room brings back memories of when Michelle was rushed to the ER for an appendectomy when they were kids. As she walks down the hall, she can almost taste the bland, burnt hospital coffee she so heavily relied on when her grandfather was sick. All to say that if she can help herself, Richelle avoids as much as setting foot into a hospital.
So, the way she so readily volunteers come along with Noah's mum, to keep her duet partner company at a hospital—the way she doesn't even second-guess her decision, is shocking, even to herself.
~~~
Richelle's so close to Noah now and she's able to study the coloring on his face, the dark circles under his eyes. Her eyes travel down to his arm which seems to be bandaged up from the IV and god she knew he had a pretty serious surgery, but seeing it for herself—
"It's really not that bad—" Noah seems to notice her gaze and concern furrowed in her eyebrows "—it was worse a week ago, I'm doing much better now."
"Noah you don't have to be proud with me, just be honest, if it was worse—what—what the hell happened?"
"It's been going on for a while, Richie, that trio? Well that was just the start of it."
Richelle sighs and puts her head in her hands. He can be so stupid and stubborn sometimes. And while she admires that he gets the job done, takes risks and lives like he's got nothing to lose...she can't lose him.
"Richie—I, I'm really okay. My mum already gave me a whole speech about how I need to take care of myself, or whatever. But you know, I sometimes can't stop myself, I need to get the tricks and be the best."
She looks up at him and she really wants to comfort him and say that it's all okay—but it really isn't—he needs to know that he can't keep ignoring injuries, that there are people who need him. And so it's like something broke in Richelle, she lets her guard down and her emotions get the best of her, as words just come tumbling out.
"Noah, I know—I know you. And I know that you have that winning no matter what mentality—but, you can't keep doing that! You can't just dive into everything and get all the dances when you're injured. I'm sorry, but you won't get the lead every time, and you won't win at every competition. And even if you do, if you have to sacrifice yourself to get the win, then it's pointless. Because at the end of the day, what matters is that you—you can dance. I-I can't—"
She can feel a sob forming in her throat and doesn't dare say another word in fear of tears spilling out. Noah seems to catch on and reaches to grab her hand, stroking her knuckles softly.
"Hey—Richie, hey—where's all this coming from? I'm okay. I—I know what I did was stupid and, I regret it—well, some of it at least. But, I'm okay."
She blinks her eyes open to look down at their hands and grips his hand.
"You're okay now, but you can't keep doing that! You might not get so lucky next time. You can't keep going out and get yourself hurt, okay? Because, I—there are people that care about you. People who it'll suck for if you get hurt—people who'll miss you if you're not at the studio everyday."
Noah stares at her, mouth open slightly seemingly in shock. This is probably the longest they've gone in a conversation outside the studio, without some joke or banter thrown in. Richelle has tears trickling down her cheek but she doesn't dare move her hands away from his in fear of having losing physical confirmation that Noah is in fact really safe.
"I—I just, I'm sorry. You're still recovering and probably didn't expect your stupid duet partner to come down here and lecture you, I know you already had—I'm sorry—"
"No, I—god Rich don't be sorry. I'm an idiot and I do stupid things sometimes—okay, like the entire past three months. And I'll be more careful. I promise. I really will, this was—I guess it was a wake up call y'know..."
He trails off and Richelle looks up at him suddenly filled with the urge to stroke his cheek or run her fingers through his curls or kiss him, but before she can do anything stupid like that, a nurse walks in, clipboard in hand—chatting away cheerfully, oblivious to the current tension in the room.
"So! Mr. Erlick, you should be free to go after you fill these—"
Only now does she seem to notice Richelle sitting there, still holding Noah's hand.
"Oh hello! I'm Penny, I've been monitoring Noah's situation for the past week. You must be his girlfriend!"
Richelle's eyes widen and she quickly lets go of Noah's hand, stammering— "oh, oh not th—no, I'm not—I'm his friend," she clears her throat "we just dance together, and I'm just here to pick Noah up and take him with his mum."
"Okay, well as I was saying, Noah, you will be free to go soon—just fill these forms out. Make sure to not put too much pressure on your back and wear the brace for two weeks. You should take at least the next two weeks off School and be on the bench until your Doctor clears you for dance. Oh, and your chest might hurt for the next few days and I've given you some medication for the pain—here—"
"Great, thanks Penny." he grabs the pills and starts signing the paperwork.
"Do you have any questions for me?"
"Yeah, um, what's the possibility of getting back to dance quicker?"
"Well, I can't say for sure, but with your injury it's recommended you don't in for the full two weeks at least."
"Okay cool —umm what if I feel better? Could I go back to dance sooner?"
There it is. Richelle rolls her eyes and looks at Noah.
"Again, we don't recommend it but if your Doctor and Studio Head clear you, you should be fine. Just, stay in bed the next week and don't do anything to exert yourself and you might be healed faster."
Richelle clears her throat and speaks up for the first time.
"Don't worry, I'll make sure this one doesn't come to dance or do anything stupid—he has the tendency to do that sometimes."
Noah turns to look at her and his lower lip sticks out in an adorable pout and he looks like a five-year old who didn't get any ice cream. Nurse Penny just laughs and takes the paperwork from him.
"Alright, that's great. With the way your back is still healing, we do suggest you have someone stay with you at least for the first few days at all times so that you can minimize movement as much as possible, will anyone be able to do that when your guardian is out of the house?"
The nurse has turned to face Richelle and before she has time to think about it, her emotions do the talking for her again.
"I-I-sure, yes of course, I'll be around."
What? What was she thinking? I mean, this would be totally fine if they were just duet partners, just friends—which they are—but, Richelle definitely wants it be more than that. Richelle definitely has feelings for said friend and duet partner—which makes the whole situation totally not fine.
~~~
Noah was listening to Richelle's frustrated voice—she was yelling at him for being so stupid and saying that there are people who care about you. He had been so caught up in himself, in how he was doomed, alone and that no one loved him. But suddenly as she started saying those things, the truth started to dawn on him and he started piecing everything together. Love isn't just about being the best, or having what he thought was best. It's about letting other people in. It's about other people caring for you. So here Richelle was, pissed off and emotional—but it was all Noah needed to have his eyes open.
1. Love is smiles that brighten your day
2. Love is holding soft comforting hands
3. Love is people who care about your well-being
And Noah makes it his goal to continue adding to this list, to perfect it—and maybe come to the understanding that he too, could also be loved.
~~~
"Richelle, you don't have to stay here, really—my mum's shifts are only like five hours long, I'll survive. Plus, I just walked up the stairs! I'm in peak condition!"
They had finally made it to Noah's house later that afternoon and Richelle had to hover over Noah to make sure he didn't stumble on the stairs and he was definitely out of breath by the time they made it to his bedroom door. They were settled onto the couch in his room and Noah grunts as his shoulder brushes against the arm rest.
"Right. Peak condition." She rolls her eyes at him and goes to sit on the other side of the couch.
"It's fine, Noah—I don't mind staying here to make sure you don't do anything stupid again, I've stayed over millions of times. And you heard the nurse—you need to minimize movement so that you can get back to dance faster."
"Haha—Nolet, if I didn't know any better it seems like you miss me!!"
Noah's teasing her but Richelle so badly wants to say 'Yeah, I do. I miss you a lot.' But she bites her tongue and just smirks at him.
"Whatever, alright—I'll go get some food for us and grab some stuff from my place...you good to be by yourself for awhile?"
"I'll be fine, Rich."
Richelle nods and grabs her backpack and gets up to leave.
"Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."
"Can't promise anything—oh, and Richelle?"
She turns around to look at him from the doorway.
"Thanks for doing this—it means a lot."
She just smiles, ignoring the fluttering in her chest—leaving out the door before he can see the blush creeping on her face.
~~~
Of course, Noah had been pining after the girl for so long, but he never really realized how intense his feelings were for her. He never realized that there could be the possibility she'd feel the same way. It makes him nervous and it also makes his heart feel like bursting. The way she drove all the way with his mum, the way she volunteered to stay with him...that was—
4. Love is when people sacrifice time for you
Noah was having way too many new revelations in just a matter of hours. The depressed, my life sucks and nobody loves me mood he was in before Richelle arrived at the hospital is long forgotten. He sits there thinking through the different things that Richelle had done for him that day, he thinks about her hand in his, her smile, the way she almost cried when she was getting mad at him... he's broken out of his thoughts by the door knob rattling and opening, the most soothing voice coming from behind him.
"Alright, I got us pizza and since you'll be stuck here for at least a week, I got some snacks for you—"
She moves to his mini fridge to set some bags on top of it as Noah limps—yea, his legs are still dead from being in a hospital bed all week—over to her.
"Wow, Richie, you didn't have to—" he reaches into a bag and pulls out—"LIME SODA!"
Richelle blushes and smiles widely at his excitement.
"Yeah, I thought you'd want that and—" she reaches into another bag and pulls out a pack of sour gummy worms which he immediately grabs from her.
"Oh my god, Richelle, this is the best. You're the best!!"
5. Love is remembering your favorite drink + snack (sometimes it's the simple things)
~~~
The way Noah responded to simple things like lime soda or sour gummy worms was an endearing sight that immediately brought a smile to Richelle's face. It made her heart do somersaults and she makes sure to capture this moment in her mind to look back on whenever she's sad. They were both now sat on Noah's couch, pizza in their stomachs, chatting about the dances Richelle had and what's been going on at The Next Step whilst Noah's been away.
"So, Richie, I want to thank you. For picking me up and for doing all this for me—" he gestures at the pizza and soda "—but most of all for—" he looks nervous, like he's finding words that are already at the tip of his tongue. Richelle tilts her head and looks at him fondly, wondering if she should say the words that she's had at the tip of her tongue all day.
"For the things you said earlier—when you were mad at me—"
"Noah..."
"No, I'm actually glad you got mad at me for being stupid—because I was stupid. Something—something could've happened to me and I wasn't thinking. I wasn't thinking about the people around me or my career. I guess, for a moment I thought—I kinda assumed that y'know, there weren't people that cared about me, enough that—just, it was nice to know that there are. So, thanks for saying that. Thanks for—for reminding me. And for being here with me."
He's looking down at his lap and playing with the end of his sweatshirt and Richelle can't help it. Her heart is bursting with affection and clenching at the words he just said all at the same time. She needs to tell him. He deserves to know. That people cared—that she cares. He deserves to know that she loves him. And if that means a heartbreak for her, godammit it doesn't matter as long as he knows. He deserves to know.
She reaches out and grabs his hand, hopefully helping ground her in what she was about to say.
"Noah, of course people care about you. And I'm sorry for getting mad earlier, but I'm even more sorry that you haven't felt like people cared about you. I'm sorry if I haven't made that clear. You deserve it more than anything. You have the kindest heart and such a brilliant mind. People care about you, Noah. I—I care about you. A lot."
Noah's smiling softly at her, and she returns the smile but then averts her eyes to stare at his hand—his soft, slightly calloused skin against her own which she's sure is sweaty by now.
"And I—I don't just care about you Noah—at least not just as a friend or duet partner or teammate—I care about you more than that."
"What do you mean?" his voice cracks and is barely audible, cautious and wary.
Richelle takes a breath and decides to go for it. There's no turning back now.
"I love you, Noah."
Noah's breath hitches and he clears his throat "I-wh-you what-?"
"Noe—I've liked you for a while now, and I know you probably don't feel the same way but I've been thinking about this a lot, ever since Emily told us about what happened. I realized that I cared about you too much and couldn't bear the thought of something bad happening to you, or—or God forbid, have to be at the studio without you. Otherwise I'd have to hang out with Michelle 24-7 – Piper's got her little club and I don't fit in without you. I can't dance without you."
Richelle's burning up and her heart is hammering in her chest and she doesn't dare look up to his eyes as she continues rambling.
"And since she told us, I knew that you weren't just some crush that I was going to get over. You're my Best Friend and we've been through so much—and I like you a lot. Then I saw you this afternoon at the hospital and it made me decide that I can't go on any longer without telling you how I feel—telling you that you are loved. That, I—I love you, Noah. And you mean a lot to me."
Noah's staring at her with his mouth slightly open, he seems to be thinking, eyes never leaving her.
"And—you don't, you don't have to say anything. You made it pretty clear last year that you don't feel the same way and maybe I'm being selfish now but I just needed you to know. To know that I'll always care about you."
Richelle finally dares herself to look up at him to gauge his expression and his face is unreadable—a mix of confusion, awe and sadness? Her stomach drops.
"You're wrong."
Richelle tilts her head confused, "Wh-what--?"
"You're wrong. You're not being selfish. And you're wrong about me not feeling the same way—because—" his voice softens "—because, I love you too, Richie. I feel the same way about you."
"You—you what? Really?"
"Oh my god, yes, Richelle of course I do. It's—l I've had a crush on you for forever. But those feelings have only grown since Abi left—and it's just, I can't believe you feel that way. I can't—I really like you and this—is this a dream?"
Richelle just stares at him and brings her hand to curl around his neck and slowly leans in. He meets her in the middle for a soft, tender and cautious kiss—like they're hesitant, holding back. When they pull away, Richelle leans her forehead against his and smiles.
"Did that feel like a dream?"
"I-uh—um—I think I need another just to make sure—"
She giggles but leans back in for another kiss-this time hungry and passionate—pouring out months, no, years of affection and love into it. In the process, Richelle forgets about her nervousness and she also forgets about Noah's injury and—
"Ah—ow—oh God!"
Noah pulls away rubbing his back, wincing a little at the pain.
"Oh, shit—God, Noah I'm so sorry—are you okay?"
"Yeah-yeah-no mmm—just hurts a little, but I'm definitely more than okay."
He smiles at her and intertwines their fingers.
"I can't believe this is happening."
Richelle sighs and moves closer to him, careful to avoid his injuries this time.
"Hmm—me too."
They sit there for awhile in comfortable silence, and Richelle rests her head on his shoulder, bringing her other hand to curl against his chest, softly tracing patterns on his sweatshirt.
"Richie—I just, I can't describe how I'm feeling—"
"I know, Noe—me too. I feel like it's too early to say something like I love you, but I don't know, it just—it feels right. This—" she lifts her hand to caress his cheek and he leans into her touch. "—this feels right."
~~~
6. Love is tender & cautious kisses
7. Love is feeling scared but just so right
8. Love is safe embraces
"Richie?"
They were now lying in Noah's bed, Richelle curled up on his right side, head resting in the crook of his neck, arms wrapped around his torso. Noah used his left arm to wrap around Richelle, softly stroking his her back, pressing soft kisses to her hairline.
"Yeah, Noe?"
She tilts her head up to look at him.
"Thank you."
"For-for what?"
"Just—everything, I guess..."
He looks down at her and smiles at her gorgeous eyes and he squeezes her shoulder, drawing her closer.
"I—well, this morning, before you came, I was just thinking about how things sucked so much. Like I screwed up pretty bad with the qualifier and with the team—I just keep screwing things up. And I honestly thought that people didn't care. I thought this was it—A-Troupe was going to hear about what I did, how I screwed things over and hate me for everything and—"
He pauses to take a breath and Richelle brings her hand up to his face, gently stroking his cheek.
"...Noah. I—I'm sorry I didn't say something sooner. Because I know for a fact that people care about you. I mean, yeah you might screw up sometimes, or do stupid things—but, that's okay. You know, we all do. And even when we do, we get back up again because that's the right thing to do. We get back up again and try again, for yourself but also for the people that love you. And Noah, people love you—" a little quieter she adds "—I—I love you. And, I need you to fight for yourself, because I don't want to lose you, lose this—it's—you're too important."
Damn it, Richelle is doing that thing to his heart again and there's definitely tears in his eyes now because all of this was so overwhelming—he had gone from down in the dumps to over the moon in less than 12 hours. For the first time in a long time (maybe even his whole life), he felt loved and it was a feeling so foreign yet familiar to him. He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.
"And—I don't know, if this is too much but I'm tired of holding back and waiting around. I've always played it safe and haven't taken enough risks, but you're worth it. You deserve all the love and I just, I hope you know how I feel about you isn't just fleeting—it's deeper and I can only hope you feel the same."
"Oh my god, Rich—I—do-do you always make boys cry like this?"
She giggles and pecks his cheek, sighing softly and nuzzling further into his neck.
"Richelle, I can't describe how I'm feeling—I—you're the one that's good with words and I just—I feel so happy—no that doesn't even begin to describe it. But, I can't thank you enough and I know—I'll probably screw up again, but I'll do my best—I'll try to be better. Because—you're way too important to me too. I love you so much."
She turns her head to smile at him and then hooks a leg over his and brings herself impossibly closer. They stay tangled in each other for the rest of the night, and Noah falls asleep with a smile on his face, Richelle's hand on his heart which is now bursting with love—and he knows then. He knows the only thing he needs on the list—the only one that matters—
Love is Richelle
~~~
Teeheehee I kinda got sappy