" Us din Kabir ke saath kya tha Shehnaaz? ", Sidharth said to her. This was the only thing he wanted to ask. There was hurt, there was curiosity, there was pain and expectations in his voice. He was calm inspite of the storm rooted deep in his heart that was ready to ruin none but him.
A tear rolled down her cheek. " Tune dekha woh?", she asked. The tears never stopped. Was there any ray of hope? Shehnaaz had this chance. She could either clear it now or never.
Sidharth had no expressions. He looked straight into her eyes, searching for his answers. Shehnaaz made him sit down on the bed. Having a glass of water she sat with him taking his hand in hers. She held it for support. She held it with the fear of not letting him go. He was precious, the most precious being she ever met. She feared this day. She feared telling him about her past, the dreadful past despite knowing that she had to do this someday for them.
Sidharth was curious to listen to her. While he wanted to know the truth, he was also scared. He was scared if he didn't get to hear what he wanted. He tried to not think about it. He wanted to hear the truth even if it breaks him apart for living in a delusion wasn't what he wanted. He knew about the pain he would have to bear if the bubble burst one day. He didn't want a slow death atleast.
" We met through a friend of ours. I was attracted towards him since the moment I saw him. Uski aankhein bohot sundar thi Sidharth.We used to talk and hang out a lot. Woh mujhe homework mein help karta tha, he even used to clear my doubts.
Best friends bohot jaldi ban gaye the. I started falling for him eventually ". The sense of admiration with which Shehnaaz described Kabir made Sidharth uncomfortable. She had a smile which looked painful. It took no time for her expressions to change. Horror took over her face.
"Mere friends ne warn bhi kiya tha Sidharth", Shehnaaz almost choked as she continued. This was enough to remind her of all the things that had happened with her. They flashed in her eyes as her heart sank. She was finding it difficult to control her emotions. She was already in a pool of tears. Her heart was heavy, so was Sidharth's. Did the anger matter now? It didn't. Was it really important to know the past now when she was already in pain? It wasn't. Didn't he know what she went through in Punjab? He did.
Some incidents leave such deep wounds that the marks tend to stay forever. These incidents grow to be those nightmare that one cannot help but break down thinking of or even talking about . It takes you back there again. Recalling it makes you go through the same pain. Shehnaaz was going through the same emotions then. She didn't know how to forget it. Well, the reality was that she didn't get anyone till date to give her all that love to forget about her pains. How she passed her days crying, how there was nobody when she needed them and how she was betrayed by the people she trusted, she had faced a lot.
Sidharth could see her break down with every second. Her body jerked as she cried. Shehnaaz tried forming words but even the words had decided not to come out of her mouth. She wanted to speak. She wanted to clear things out. Shehnaaz did not want Sidharth to doubt her. She tried speaking again only to be stopped by her only love, Sidharth. " Shh.. Chup hoja. Mat bol kuch", Sidharth said to her as he engulfed her in his big arms. He placed his chin over her head while he kept rubbing her back. He wanted to hear none of it, atleast for now. For now , he wanted to be with her. He wanted to be her peace and not the reason of her tears. The cries didn't go away soon. Sidharth could feel her body shake against his as he felt his shirt damp. " Baby don't cry", Sidharth said to her again.
Shehnaaz had stopped crying but she sat still placing her hands on her lap. Her face looked as calm as the cream over the milk but there was a storm in her heart. Sidharth, on breaking the hug, cupped her tiny face. Her eyes were a deep shade of red. Eyes do speak, they say, while her eyes shouted shouted emotions. Trying to speak, Shehnaaz was stopped by Sidharth yet again. " Kuch nahi bolegi tu. Samjhi? Chup se baith", Sidharth said as he rubbed his thumb on her cheek. Were they fine now? She hoped they were. She couldn't cry more. Neitrher could she speak about it anymore, she knew.
" Tu jaise soch raha hai waise nahi hai Sidharth. Mai toh tujhse pyaar karti hoon na", she pleaded. The tears were back, filling her eyes to the limit when Sidharth wiped them off. " Mat ro bola na tujhe", Sidharth said as he sat beside her. He was calm now. He talked well. " Sachi mein waisa nahi hai Sidharth", Shehnaaz said. Why was she pleading so much? Wouldn't he understand her? She wasn't in the state of understanding anything. She wanted him to know. Starting a relationship on unknown grounds had already costed her and she didn't want the same to happen yet again.
The main question was how could she speak? Even thinking about it had brought her down to such a miserable state that she couldn't even imagine her condition if she actually spoke. So thought Sidharth. Shehnaaz often blamed herself for fantasizing things. She had thought of Kabir as a really good man while the only thing that attracted her was his face. His character weighed lighter in the regards to his looks. Shehnaaz went with the flow and never stopped him from having any physical relations too.She believed in giving your everything to the one you are in love with. Being a teenager then, these were her thoughts. She wasn't the only one. We too as teenagers are too quick at decisions, not caring about the consequences which could harm us later. We tend to believe in ourselves blindly. We think of ourselves as the most accurate ones in taking our own life decisions.
Shehnaaz wasn't too innocent then. She was rather very quick with her decisions. She never cared to give a second thought. This costed her a lot in life but also ended up knocking some sense in her mind. Kabir resulted to be her biggest mistake. He did not own up to her when she needed him. She was pregnant at the age of nineteen when he left her. All that she faced was humiliation. Being born in an orthodox family, she was forced to abort the child which later put her in depression. Staying alive seemed a burden to her at a time. It was too tough for her to come out of it but she tried. Thinking about it still ran chills down her spine.
" Maalum hai mujhe. Abhi chup karo tum", Sidharth said to her. Shehnaaz still looked down at the floor. She wasn't able to meet her eyes with him. "Nahi", she said. Sidharth held her hand and pulled her to sit on his lap. Keeping her feet on the bed, Shehnaaz encircled one of her hands around his neck. Placing her head against his chest, Shehnaaz listened to his beats, calming down with each of them. She sat quietly playing with the buttons of his shirt.
Sidharth knew she wasn't wrong. It was late last night that he realised how wrong he had been in assuming things. He had called up Noor the previous night just like he did for the last weeks to ask about Shehnaaz. He knew that she won't talk to him and the only way to know her condition was through Noor. Having known everything by then, Sidharth just wanted to play around with her so that she showers him with all the love to coax him. Never did he imagine the things to turn so grave. He didn't think about her condition. This was getting worse and he had to stop it. Their hurt games did really affect each other, they did tear them apart but they always came back for they were meant for each other.
" Tu gussa nahi hai merese Sidharth?", Shehnaaz asked surprised at the change in his behavior.
" Nahi jaan. Kabhi kabhi misunderstandings ho jaati hain. Khud ko samajh mein nahi aata kya karein. I'm sorry Shehnaaz. Tujhe bohot dukhi karta hoon na mai?", he said. He was crying for putting her into such a situation. He was crying for making her cry. Even some petty games end up hurting a lot. Reality hit him hard this time.
" Haan lekin tu mera hai na. Isliye sab manzoor", Shehnaaz smiled. This was the first time that Shehnaaz passed him a smile in the last weeks. The way the girl loved him amazed him at times. This was her pure and unconditional love without any malice. It was very simple. His heart was hers and her heart belonged to him. Her smile was like the anteseptic on a bruise. It was the ice on a burn. She was fine, that was what mattered.
Sidharth and Shehnaaz were two beautiful individuals with flaws. The over possesive nature towards his partner , the hurt games, the aggression made it difficult for the other one to stay with him. What hurt him were the expectations from his partner. Sidharth had been someone to give more than he could in relationships and it broke his heart when he didn't receive the same love for relationships are a always two sided.
The same went with Shehnaaz. For someone who is so over dramatic at times, for some one who acts so immature and childish most of the times, Shehnaaz never had a successful relationship too. It wasn't something that wrong. That's how she was and she loved being her. She didn't fear to get judged. A pure hearted girl she was!Her immaturity led her to take wrong decisions while her innocence was taken advantage of.
As they say that there's always someone meant for you, Shehnaaz and Sidharth were meant for each other. They were just like the two lost pieces of the jigsaw puzzle of life which fit into each other perfectly. They were just like the two hands made for each other to entwine. They were like the cake batter and the vessel. How well does the batter set in it. They were the souls to each others body's. They weren't perfect. They made their bond perfect. They made each other a better human being, bringing out the best in each other. They were the ones who could handle each other. She was the fire while he was the ice. Both of them opposite to each other yet powerful. They were on the completely opposite ends but they made it possible for them. It wasn't just the destiny but their efforts that made it possible. They fell apart but their trust didn't . They came out stronger. They made it through all the toughest of the times. They wouldn't break now.
" Pav Bhaji kahegi baby?", Sidharth asked her. He missed having Pav Bhaji at their favourite stall.
" Hmm. I love you", Shehnaaz said, nuzzling in his chest.
" Thank you", he replied.
Shehnaaz pinched him on his waist as he screamed in pain. " I love you bol saale", she said with the utmost rights she had on him. She held his collar and went close to him. " Aur sun le. Tujhpe sirf mera haq hai. Phaad ke rakhdungi sab ko. Kal tak yeh photos nikaal ke rakhna. Chal ab hug kar", said Shehnaaz hugging him tightly.
Sidharth couldn't help but laugh." Thik hai maate. Jaisa aap bolein", he laughed.
Shehnaaz waited for a good seven seconds when she glared at him." I love you too", he kissed her cheeks making them wet.
" Kutta hai kya?", Shehnaaz slapped him playfully as she ran around the room with him chasing her. And the tom and the Jerry were back to their fights!
The End!
Hi guys! Here is the last chapter. Do vote for it and comment loads! Please tell me your feelings about the story. I don't think that an epilogue is required here...just hope that I could match your expectations. 💕