Back again in California. The last two months at home have been wonderful. I got to be home for Halloween and I loved every second of it. Thea thought I went a little crazy with the decorations but I had so much fun putting them up I almost didn't stop. For the first time in a long time I was able to set up an ofrendas. I included my mother, siblings and Ed on it. When Thea questioned it and I explained what it is. The next day I asked Thea if she wanted to include a picture of her parents and Allison on it. She didn't give me an answer so I left it alone. The following day there were two new pictures on the table.
On Halloween, Thea was working at headquarters in uniform to help out with the extra calls. We are planning on going to Lindsey's Halloween party the next day since Thea had off. I was on candy duty with Pat for most of the night. Nikki was off with Malia at a party at a friend of Malia's since she had the night off. As the kids started to slow down I left Pat in charge of the candy and changed into my costume.
My costume for jokes is a prisoner, completely with Thea's spare pair of handcuffs. I left Pat and drove down to the station to surprise Thea. When I got there I was surprised to see her working the desk. Needless to say she was surprised to see me in my costume. Rory got a laugh at Thea's reaction and I just gave her a sweet kiss.
Over the past two months I have been slowly chipping away at my new music. Right now I have the album planned out for 15 songs. I have three songs completely done. I'm taking my time and not rushing these songs because of how much they mean to me.
As the date for the AMA's got closer, I had a decision to make in regards to which song I want to play. I had a conference call with Toby and a few people from the label along with Alyssa and my band. The AMA's suggested I perform Tell Her You Love Her because of all the success it has but I didn't want to. Toby and I went back and forth to perform something new from the upcoming album but decided it wasn't far enough along to release anything new from it yet. Then we circled back to My Heart. I was all for it but we got push back from the AMA's saying it might be too heavy of a song to sing. Toby pushed for it though and finally we got them to approve it.
Thea actually has her off days that weekend and Monday and is able to come out to the show. I'm excited for her to get to come out and be here with me. Nikki and I left a week before the show and are staying with Alyssa in her apartment. I needed to be out here early to rehearse the show with my band since it has been months since we have played together.
I also wanted to come out early because I wanted to meet with the band I Prevail. I have listened to their stuff a lot since they came out and wanted to have them featured on two songs I have working for this album. They were coming out to California for some AMA's stuff and I thought it would be the perfect time to get into the studio together. I wanted to have guy screaming some of the verses on these two songs and thought they would be perfect.
Alyssa set us up with studio time and I got to know the guys a little before I pitched them the songs I have been working on. They were totally on board and we got to work right away on them. We ended up working for three days on the two songs. When we were done with them, they sounded amazing. It was nice to work with them because they come from a completely different background then I do. These two songs are kind of heavy but that's how I always envisioned them to be.
While I've been in California, I also had a chance to work with Halsey on two other songs. We didn't get a chance to finish them together but she is going to be in New York in December and she said she would come to visit me to finish these songs up. The album is really starting to come together nicely now and I may be able to release it earlier then I thought.
Thea took a red eye to California and arrived early Saturday morning. I only got to see her for a few minutes before I had to get going to the stadium to rehearse for the show Sunday. When I got back to the hotel Thea was waiting for me and we went out for an early dinner. The paparazzi were horrible and we almost got stuck in a crowd of them trying to get back to the car after dinner. Something I definitely don't miss about California.
Finally Sunday came and I was so happy. I'm ready to get back home to Salem. I miss the chilly weather of Massachusetts in the fall and I'm ready to get back to it. We had some time before we had to get ready for the show so Thea and I had a nice breakfast in bed. After breakfast we got another hour in bed before Alyssa started to beat down the door to our hotel room.
Slowly we got out of bed and started to get ready. I'm wearing another suit tonight. I feel so much more comfortable in them rather than a dress. Thea is wearing a dress but I haven't been given any other details then that. She won't let me see it before hand and it was probably for the best. My suit is jacket is a black floral piece that I'm pairing with a black skinny tie, black skinny slacks and black shoes.
It was definitely for the best that I didn't see Thea before we were leaving. She is wearing this two piece dress floral black dress that shows off her perfect abs paired with a pair of black Doc Martin combat boots. Alyssa had to drag us out of the hotel room when it was time to go.
When we got to the stadium I walked a little bit of the red carpet. I didn't want to go completely down it with Thea waiting for me. Thea walked with my band down the carpet. With her job, she didn't really want to have a million camera's on her which I totally understood. When I met her inside she was almost bouncing up and down when she told me Nikki introduced her to Ariana Grande.
It got a chuckle out of me until Diego came over to us with Taylor Swift on his arm. Both of our jaws dropped as he introduced us. I quickly had to get myself together and not make a fool out of myself. I was able to get it together as I formally introduced myself and Thea. This was the first time we had a real conversation. We have met briefly in passing before but nothing crazy. We had a really nice conversation before she walked off to find her seat. Diego forgot to mention that he played drums on tour for her before.
Alyssa broke me out of my stupor and showed me to our dressing room for the night. I'm going on a little later in the show and I got to relax for a little bit. I got myself and Thea a drink before we made our way to our seats. Once again I'm sitting in the front row and that makes me nervous. Thea sensed it and she put her hand on mine giving it a squeeze. I focused on her for a moment and gave her a quick kiss before taking my seat. Thea is sitting in the middle of Alyssa and I.
Just before the show started Taylor Swift took her seat, which happened to be the seat next to me. It was the last thing I needed for my anxiety but I just quickly finished off the last of my whiskey and said a polite hello. Thea handed me the last of her drink and I finished it off before Taylor pulled me into conversation with Lizzo who sat next to her.
Finally the show started and I got to relax a little bit. Thea's hand is firmly in mine giving it a squeeze every few second to keep me tethered to the ground. The show slowly moved along and I started to enjoy sitting next to Taylor as we continued our conversation throughout the night. The glass of whiskey I had kicked in and I definitely felt more relaxed. Lizzo and Taylor both left their seats to get prepared for their own performances. Before Taylor left she asked for my cell number and I almost fainted. After Taylor added my number she also added me to a group chat. She said that it was with other female artists and to introduce myself in the chat. When both women left they were replaced with Drake and Post Malone. Both guys were pretty nice and Thea got a really sweet picture of the three of us together before I had to go back to the dressing room to get changed for my performance.
I changed into a black tee shirt and a pair of jeans to keep it simple. I didn't want anything crazy for this song. Toby popped his head in and wished me luck before leaving again. It wasn't long before I was standing on the stage with my band waiting for the curtain to rise. The song actually went over well. I got to release some of my nervous energy during the performance and it helped me relax a bit. The fans in the audience were into it and so were some of the celebrities.
After the song was over I changed back into my suit and we were shown back to our seats. This time I was brushing elbows with Billie Eilish and her brother Finneas. The pair always reminded me of how Asher and I used to work together. I couldn't dwell on the moment for long as the first award I was up for in the night was up. Favorite Female Pop/Rock. I was up against Ariana and Taylor and I knew I had no chance at winning so I just sat back and held Thea's hand tightly. She gave me a kiss on the cheek as the announcer opened the envelope.
Ash Monroe. Wait what? I looked up and saw my face on the screens, did I just win? I looked at Thea and saw her pulling me to stand. She gave me a hug and pushed me towards the stage. I accepted the award from the announcer and looked around at the audience.
"I thought I had no chance at this because of the other two incredible wonen I was up against in this category. I am so incredible grateful to be here tonight in their amazing company. The song I sang for all of you earlier is my thank you to the fans. A thank you to them for following me on this new path in my career. I want to thank them for giving me this platform and sticking with me when everything was going wrong in my life. So thank you for believing in me and my sound enough to go out and vote for me enough to win this award. I love you all so much." I took a breath and walked off the stage.
I walked off to the bathroom and collect myself. A few minutes later I felt a hand run down my spine and I knew it was Thea.
"Why are you hiding baby, so many people want to see you." Thea said quietly.
"I can't believe that this is happening right now." I said took a deep breath.
"Well you need to get used to it love. Once this new music hits the air, you are going to win a lot more awards. How about we get another drink and head back to our seats." Thea said.
I just nodded and took Thea's hand. She led us out of the bathroom and I found my band waiting for us when we got outside. Nikki launched herself at me and pulled me into a tight hug. A few others followed and I could feel myself breath again. The love these people have for me is something I won't ever take for granted. Alyssa actually handed me the drink when we broke apart. She led us back to our seats and we got settled to watch Lizzo perform.
It was getting towards the end of the show and I know the other two award I'm up for are coming up. Thea kept a tight hold on my hand and I just kept taking deep breaths. Favorite Music Video came up next. I watched as the announcer call out all the people up for this award and for the first time I found myself wanting to win. And I did. When I heard my name I smiled at Thea and gave her a hug before I hugged Alyssa and walked onto the stage.
"This award is for a song I wrote about the woman I love. I count my blessing every day that you are in my life. I don't know what I would do without you in my life. I can't wait to keep making memories together. She'll always be my muse so don't be surprised if you hear more songs written about her. Tell the person you love that you love them every chance you get. Thank you." I gave a smile to the crowd before walking off the stage.
This time just Thea was waiting for me back stage. As I got closer to her Thea walked the rest of the distance to me and I picked her up in my arms and spun her around. When her feet touched the ground I planted a deep kiss on her lips and found myself not wanting to let go. I had to unfortunately because the last award I was up for tonight would be on shortly.
We were showed back to our seats and Alyssa had to wipe Thea's extra lip stick off the corner of my mouth. When she was done I looked up at the stage and sighed.
"Is it bad of me to say I really want to win this award?" I asked looking at both of them.
"No." They both answered at the same time.
"After everything you've been through Ash, you deserve this award more than anyone up for it. You've had an incredible comeback year and everyone knows it." Alyssa said and patted my hand as the announcer came out to present the final award to the night, Artist of Year.
I held my breath as the announcer presented everyone who was up for the award. Once again I'm in great company but I am actually wanting to win this. The envelope opened and I watched as my face flashed up on the screen. I just won again. Thea just pushed me up on stage this time and I grabbed the award with a large smile on my face.
"I don't know what to say. At the beginning of the year I really didn't think any of this could be possible. 10 months later I'm standing on this stage in front of all of you accepting this award. None of this would be possible without the love of my life. She saved me in more ways than one and I owe her my life. My manager Alyssa who has been able to keep me in check and be everything from a shoulder to cry on to a best friend to even a mom at some moments. To my band who has become like family to me in the dark moments, I love you three so much it hurts."
I looked around in the crowd and found my band standing with Alyssa and Thea. I gave them a bright smile before I looked up to see I'm running out of time.
"I'll wrap this up but I just wanted to say that next year is going to be huge, a lot of new music is coming your way soon. Thank you all again so much. Have a good night!"
I took a breath and handed the award to the waiting stage hand and I went back down the front of the stairs and was pulled into a group hug with my team. Tonight has been one of the best nights of my life.