I slide off of him, moving my body so my head is resting on his chest again. My lips taste salty now.
"I love you," I say.
He kisses the top of my head. "I love you more."
I scoff, "We are not going to be one of those couples that go back and forth arguing about who loves who more."
"What if I wanted us to be one of those couples?" Gray asks. "What if that's my idea of love and you're ruining it by refusing to partake in this activity with me?"
I sigh. "Fine. I love you more."
"Impossible because I love you more," he replies, grinning at the cheesiness of what we're doing.
"No, I love you more," I say firmly, smiling and starting to see the appeal of doing this.
"Holy shit, you guys are annoying," Peyton says, standing over us with a Frisbee in her hand. "Since when are y'all one of those couples?"
"Don't worry about it," we both reply.
Peyton grimaces at us talking in unison but decides to brush it off. "If you two are done being gross over here, Violet and I would like to play Frisbee. Couples against couples."
"Against Gracie, Liam and Chewie," Gracie chimes in, coming up next to Peyton with a juice pouch in hand and Liam's hand in the other. Chewie barks in agreement next to her then start digging in the sand. Gracie laughs and drags him and Liam toward the water, saying something about digging a hole to South Korea. Gray rotates his body so he can keep an eye on them.
Peyton nods. "Of course. Me and Sadie. You two disgustingly adorable human beings. Tommy and Vi. Gracie, Liam, and Chewie."
Gray and I sit up, excited by the idea. "Y'all are just asking for your asses to be handed to you on a platter," I say, cracking my knuckles dramatically. "Gray and I are going to dominate."
Peyton scoffs and starts pulling her hair into a bun. "There's no way I'm letting you get near this ass of mine," she laughs, shooting me a competitive stare.
Violet walks up. "Just letting y'all know I play to win. And I play dirty."
"Yeah, we'll play real dirty," Tommy says, coming up beside Violet and slinging his arm around her. But I don't think he understands just how serious Violet is about winning.
"Dude," Gray says, standing up, "Shut the fuck up."
"Suck my dick, Gray," Tommy says. "You don't control me."
"The sexual tension between you two is incredible," I say, looking between them. Tommy laughs and presses a quick kiss to Gray's cheek before he can stop him. Gray grimaces and wipes his face. "I'm out of your league, Tom," Gray says to him.
"You wound me," Tommy says, holding a hand to his heart. "And just for that, I'm going to kick your ass at Frisbee."
"Hell yes," Violet yells. "Let the games begin."
Gracie and Liam continue to dig their hole, and Gracie tells us that they don't want to play anymore because they don't like old people games. We all laugh, but I feel the shift in mine, Peyton's, and Violet's attitudes. This means war.
Without the seven-year-olds' safeties to worry about, I switch into competition mode, even though this is supposed to be a friendly beach game. After playing soccer with Pey and Vi for over ten years, I know how intense they're going to get. If anything, I don't think Sadie, Tommy, or Gray are ready for what's about to go down.
When Violet, Peyton, and I play any game, we play hard.
We place about three towels about a hundred feet from one another in a triangular shape. The goal is to gain points by getting the frisbee and one member of your two-person team on your towel. Cakewalk.
It doesn't take long for my competitive aggression to come out. Violet passes the Frisbee to Tommy, and I body-slam him into the sand, snatching it out of his stunned hand. Violet yells at Tommy to get his fat ass off the ground, but I'm already passing the Frisbee to Gray. He runs onto our towel, and we get the first point.
"Suck on that, bitch!" I yell, jumping in front of Violet's furious face. "Who's your mommy? Who's your fucking mommy, Violet?"
Violet fumes, pulling on her braids as Tommy wraps his arm around her. "Kitten, it's just a game. They only have one point," he says to her, trying to kiss her forehead.
"One point that we don't have! Tommy, you just let her take it from you!" She swats Tommy away and crosses her arms.
He throws his hands up. "She tackled me!"
"Then you should've punched her and taken the Frisbee back. Come on, Tommy, you love punching people," Violet says, stomping her foot. Tommy laughs, rubbing her shoulders. I stick my tongue out at her. "This isn't over, River," she growls, then stomps off dramatically.
Gray comes up behind me and kisses the top of my head. "Good work, babe. I won't lie, your competitive side is kind of turning me on."
"I know. My back hurts from carrying this team, though," I tease, smiling widely. Now that I've had the taste of winning on my tongue, I'm hell-bent on bringing this game home. "Now stop distracting me. 'Griver' plays to win."
The game resumes and Gray tosses the Frisbee to me. I hold my hands out expectantly, standing inches from our towel. Then Peyton lunges in front of me, jumping higher than humanly possible and snatching it out of the air. Cackling, she falls into the sand and throws it to Sadie, who is already standing on their towel.
Violet laughs wildly, watching me as I fume over the intercepted pass. "How does it feel, River. Aw, are you gonna go cry to your little boyfriend? Wah wah," she laughs, enjoying my reddening face. Gray hugs me, trying to calm me down, but I'm tense with competitive rage.
"Vi, you can't laugh. At least Riv and I have points," Peyton yells, getting in on our little feud. "You and Tommy are officially losing."
That shuts her up. I laugh, but Peyton kicks a load of sand toward me. "I'm not on your side, Riv. The other enemy of my enemy is still my enemy. I'm gonna make you eat shit," she says.
"Eat my ass, Pey," I yell at her. Violet adds, "Yeah, mine too!"
"What the hell is going on?" Tommy groans, rubbing his hand down his face.
Another round goes by and Vi swipes Gray's feet out from under him to secure the Frisbee. She's ten feet from her towel when Peyton tackles her, throwing them both onto the sand. They wrestle ferociously, kicking, slapping, pulling, biting. At that point, I decide not to go for the Frisbee and just stand back to watch them tear each other apart.
Peyton gets the upper hand and holds Violet down with her forearms, slowly sliding the Frisbee from Violet's hand. "I was right, Pey," Violet growls. "You really are a top."
While Peyton is laughing at Vi's comment, Vi takes the opportunity to knock Peyton off her and steal the Frisbee. She sprints to her towel and does a happy dance. "You're my bitch, Peyton! You're my little bitch!"
"Fuck you," Peyton yells.
From his position laying on the sand, Gray casts a concerned glance to Tommy, a 'what-did-we-get-ourselves-into?' look on his face. Tommy shrugs and helps him up, showing good sportsmanship that I never could.
"Tommy!" Violet yells. "No helping the competition. Push him back down!"
Tommy casts an apologetic look to Gray. "Sorry dude," he says, then pushes Gray back into the sand. Finally, they're getting the idea. There are no friends in Frisbee.
After Gray gets up, we start another round with the game all tied up. I look at Vi and drag my finger across my throat threateningly. She flicks me off, leaning forward with her hands on her knees, ready. We place the frisbee in the middle.
Gracie yells 'Go!' and I bolt toward it, gesturing for Gray to stay near our towel. My hand is inches from the Frisbee, and I can practically feel the win when someone lunges at me from the side. My vision flashes, then my attacker and I are rolling in the sand, tangled. I look up and realize it's Sadie holding me down.
I wrestle against her, watching as Pey and Vi fight over the frisbee a few feet away. Eventually, I roll her off me and lunge toward where the Frisbee is locked between my two best friends. I grab it attempting to pull it from between them, but neither is letting go. Suddenly, the Frisbee is yanked downward, taking me with it.
I let out a squeal as I fall on top of them. It's a mess of our limbs, and I really can't tell if it's Pey or Vi pulling my hair. Someone elbows me in the face, and I curse loudly, returning the favor with a kick to knee to the stomach. Peyton yells out.
"Just fucking give it to me. You know y'all have already lost," Violet bites out, covered head-to-toe in sand.
"Not a chance, you cow," Peyton yells back.
We struggle for an unknown stretch of time, and I'm aware of Gray, Tommy, and Sadie standing over us, watching this whole fiasco. They're talking to each other, laughing, but that doesn't deter me from putting my all into this fight. I try to kick Peyton between her legs, but she dodges the blow. Then she kicks me between the legs, and tears well up from the pain. But I don't let go.
Finally, I swiftly knock Peyton's hands from the Frisbee, and I'm about to pry each and every one of Vi's fingers from around the rim. Then suddenly, warm arms wrap around my waist and pull me away from them. My grip sips from the Frisbee and I writhe against the body.
"Let me go!" I demand, reaching toward the Frisbee. But Sadie and Tommy are doing the same thing to Peyton and Vi, and they're just as angry. Violet, especially.
"What the hell?" I yell exasperatedly, tugging my hair. Gray's still holding me and my feet are hovering off the ground, keeping me from lunging toward where the Frisbee is lying on the sand. "I had it, babe! We were about to win!"
My chest heaves under his grip, and I realize that his forearms are pressed right over my breasts, covering the area where my bathing suit top had ridden up. As I look down, Gray laughs. "You were getting a bit too wild, Riv. Wouldn't want everyone to see what I did to you the other night, would we?"
He presses his lips to my ear, and my competitive frustration dims the tiniest bit. Battling for the Frisbee, I hadn't even realized that my top had exposed so much of my skin--of the love bites he'd given me. I whine, "I had it, Gray. It was in my hands. You know how much I love winning."
"I know, baby," he says, loosening his grip. I run my fingers through my hair, which has fallen out of my bun. "Technically, you tied for first place."
I frown, pulling my bathing suit top back down. "We all tied for first place. Technically, we all tied for last place a well," I groan, turning to him. He smiles at me and presses a reassuring kiss to my lips. As deflated as I feel, I kiss him back. His soft lips against mine make me feel a bit better.
"I don't know about you guys," Tommy says, visibly struggling as he tries to calm Violet down, "But I think we should do something a bit less competitive. How about we build a sandcastle?"
"Sounds like a great idea," Sadie agrees. Peyton is resting her head on her shoulder, obviously deflated by the ending of the game as well.
Standing back, I start to see how crazy we must've looked. I'm glad Gray tore me away before I did some real damage. "I need to sit down and recover from that game," I sigh, walking toward where our stuff is set up. Gray follows me.
"No, go build a sandcastle with Gracie. I'll join you in a few minutes," I say, sitting down on a towel. "I need to relax my body."
"I could give you a massage. Maybe that'd help," Gray says lowly, sitting behind me and placing his large hands on my shoulders. I roll my neck out.
"No. If you did, I wouldn't be held responsible for how I react. Remember, we're on a public beach," I say slowly, already reacting to his hands on my bare skin. I let him massage my shoulders for a few more seconds before urging him to join the construction Gracie and Liam's sand castle, which Chewie is adamantly trying to topple. Gray kisses me once more, then finally goes.
As I watch him kneel down next to the kids, Sadie comes and sits next to me with a book in her hand. She slides on a pair of sunglasses and lays down. I stay sitting up, watching as Violet pushes Tommy down on his back and starts burying him in the sand near the shoreline.
"Can I ask you something?" I say, turning to Sadie. She bookmarks her page and sets down the book, giving me her full attention. "Of course," she says.
"How did you know what college you wanted to go to?" I ask vaguely, not quite ready to reveal my true dilemma to her. My mind has been spinning for the past few days, trying to sort through this on my own.
Sadie pulls her sunglasses up to the top of her head and sits up. "What do you mean? Like how did I know which one I liked the most?"
I shake my head, trying to gather my thoughts. "No. I mean, kind of. I mean . . . how did you weigh all the factors to decide between colleges? I just feel like there's so much to consider."
Sadie thinks for a moment, resting her chin in her hands. "It was difficult to come to my decision, but I feel like I always knew where I wanted to go. Some colleges had fancy research facilities and opportunities to study abroad, but nothing could deter me from where I really wanted to go."
"I know where I want to go, but I feel like the answer isn't that easy for me," I sigh, laying back down and covering my face with my hands. I groan.
Sadie pulls off her sunglasses and looks down at me with sweet, curious eyes. "What's making the answer so difficult?"
I sit back up, deciding to just tell her what's been weighing on me for the past few days. "I got into UNC-Chapel Hill, but I'd have to pay everything out of pocket, and I don't have that kind of money. But I've dreamed of going there since I knew what college was."
"So what's pulling you away from UNC?" She asks. "Is there a better option than going to your dream school?"
"Yes," I admit. "I got a full scholarship to a small college in Florida. I already accepted my spot at UNC, but Florida Gulf Coast University wants out-of-state students so badly that they're willing to extend my deadline to accept."
Sadie contemplates what I'm saying. "So you're thinking of moving to Florida so you don't have to pay for tuition?"
I nod my head. Ahead of me, Gracie squeals as Gray places a handful of wet sand on her head and rubs it into her wet hair. "Yeah," I say softly. It hurts my heart just thinking about moving almost ten hours away from my hometown. From Gray.
"Judging from how distraught you are by just saying that I'm guessing you really don't want to go," she says, putting her hand over mine. "Florida is pretty far away, River."
I nod my head. "I know. It would only be an hour-and-a-half flight. But I wouldn't be able to spend money on plane tickets every weekend. And I can't ask Gray to leave Gracie that often. Going to Florida would mean breaki . . . " I don't even want to finish that sentence.
"You'd break your own heart if you went," Sadie says softly, squeezing my hand gently. The wind carries Gracie's sweet laughs and Gray's playful voice toward us, and this conversation becomes all too real.
I smile, misty-eyed, at her. "But I can't make this decision based on my heart. Everyone says you're not supposed to make life decisions based on your boyfriend. I love Gray with my whole heart, but I can't plan my life around him."
Sadie tucks her legs under her, sitting up and looking me in the eyes. "Staying here and going to UNC wouldn't be planning your life around Gray. You said it yourself: you wanted to go to UNC way before you met him. Being able to stay with Gray is just the cherry on top. Also, Pey and I will be there too."
As I think, I watch as Violet constructs a penis out of sand right over where she buried Tommy's netherregions. Then she fiercely knocks it down with a swift karate chop. I bring my focus back to the problem at hand. "But the scholarship . . . "
"If the financial situation was the only factor in this decision, you wouldn't have any doubts about going to Florida. But it isn't. Even with that fancy scholarship, you still want to stay, and that tells you everything you need to know," Sadie says, firmer this time.
She tucks a strand of her light blonde hair behind her ear. "You know what you want, River. Yesterday, I was shoe shopping with my mom. I found a pair of platform faux snakeskin sandals that were so cute. And they were on sale for seventy-five. I was about to get them when I saw a pair of studded high heels that were on sale for fifty dollars. I kept asking my mom which ones I should get, and she kept telling me that I should get the high heels. So I kept asking her until she told me that I should get the sandals."
I laugh. "Are you comparing my college decision to you choosing between two pairs of shoes?"
She nods her head, grinning. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing. All I'm saying is that I would've been broken-hearted if I'd used logic and gotten the ugly heels that I didn't actually want."
"So, going to Florida is like picking the ugly heels?"
My eyes stay trained on Gray, who is now flinging Gracie over his shoulder and running into the waves. Sadie watches me as I stare.
"You know what I mean, River. You know what will make you happy. Sometimes, you just gotta follow your heart, take the faux snakeskin sandals, and leave."
Gray's head appears from underwater, and droplets of water run down his face. He swipes his drenched hair back from his face and laughs, pulling Gracie up and onto his shoulders again. Then he catches me staring at him. He smiles, reaching up and using Gracie's hand to wave at me.
"I know," I say softly, waving back at them.
♔
chapters remaining: 4 + epilogue