Taming the Street Racer ✔️

25 | let me in

I pull the plate of mac 'n cheese in front of me, while Grayson chooses a piece of steak with asparagus and mashed potatoes. We eat in silence for few minutes, casually glancing up at each other every few seconds and pretending we don't see the other do it.

I watch as he carefully cuts his asparagus, then folds the bite-sized pieces into his mashed potatoes. Then he eats the asparagus-potato mash as if it's the most normal thing in the world. I stare at him, intrigued. "I've never seen anyone eat asparagus and mashed potatoes like that."

He looks up at me, then looks down, chuckling to himself without replying. Now I'm even more confused. "What?" I ask, laughing at his puzzling behavior.

"Nothing," he says. I catch his eyes and raise an eyebrow. He shakes his head, but eventually goes on. "It's just...my dad used to eat his mashed potatoes like this when I was younger."

I pause with my fork lifted halfway to my mouth, stunned. This is the first time Grayson's ever mentioned his parents. I've always suspected that his relationship with his parents wasn't great, but I never had the courage to ask. I try to find the words to say to not ruin this moment. "Do you take after your dad a lot?"

He stops eating, thinking for a moment. When he looks up at me, his face is painted solemn. "My eyes. I have most of my mom's features but I got my dad's eyes."

I don't miss the way his voice lowers and catches slightly when he mentions his mom. I stop eating too, trying to hold his gaze steadily. "Your mom must've been beautiful."

Grayson smiles slightly. "Are you saying I'm attractive?"

I snort, not even bothering to answer his question. "I think I've fluffed your ego enough for tonight, Grayson."

He looks at me seriously, putting his fork down. "You can call me Gray, you know. Only strangers call me Grayson and I think we're beyond the stranger stage."

There's a slightly playful tone in his voice but I can tell he's still thinking about our short conversation about his parents. I can tell it was hard to say those few things about him. "I noticed Gracie and Tommy call you Gray. Eva and Peter did too. I didn't know if you liked it or not."

Grayson places his semi-full plate back on the cart, leaning back on his hands. "My parents used to call me Gray, so Gracie still does. Tommy's my best friend, and I met him back when both my parents were still around. As for the other two idiots, they just do it to get under my skin. Eva knows that I only let certain people call me Gray."

I don't know how much I should ask, if I should let him divulge his past on his own or if I should let him know I'm interested in knowing. I want him to let me in, and I don't want him to push me away. I follow my instinct. "So both your parents are out of the picture?"

"You've gathered that?" He laughs emptily. "Yes. Both of them are gone. My mom is dead and I don't know where the hell my dad is. And I couldn't care less."

But I can tell he does. He tries to be blunt to make it seem like he doesn't care, but I see right through it. I can see the struggle he's enduring just mentioning this. I place my hand on his, and his hand jerks slightly but he doesn't move it away, which I count as a good sign. The world is quiet around us.

"Were you young when it happened?" I ask softly. Gray's staring off in the distance, clenching his jaw tightly. The tendons in his neck are tense.

"I wasn't planning on telling you any of this tonight," he says hoarsely, moving his hand away from mine. "Or ever."

"I want to know." I swallow, forming my response carefully. "Whatever you say won't scare me away. I want to know you."

"That's the problem." His voice rises slightly. "My past - this shit that you think you want to know. It's all I am. It defines me. And for you to know the real me, you have to know my past. But shit, I don't want you to know the real me."