Gulf couldn't breathe he felt like he was suffocating, he pulled on the turtle neck trying to let the wind from the lowered window give him relief but he knew it was all in his mind it had nothing to do with not being able to actually breathe at all.
He felt tears sting his eyes mercilessly, threatening to fall and drown him, so he closed his eyes and let the buzzing in his head still. He knew everything. Since when? Is that why he approached him? Did he feel sorry for him? That thought hurt a lot, the thought of Mew feeling sorry for him, pitying him. Mew's pained face when he yelled at him flashed in his mind and his heart seemed to constrict in his chest.
"I'm so scared. What if he hates me"
Mew's words rang in his ears. Hate him? No he didn't hate him, he was too ashamed to face him. He knew all his dark secrets, everything he had hidden within himself was open and exposed to Mew. He felt a sob bubble up inside him but he refused to let it out. Not here, not surrounded by everyone.
Alerts on their phones stopped Gulf's thoughts. He didn't move they all got them so he knew what it was, wonderful he felt like shit and now he had to work.
———
Gulf felt better now that he had changed his clothes, he didn't feel like he was taking his last breath. He had set his mind at the task at hand blocking out anything he felt regarding the Mew situation. It was work time and he wouldn't jeopardize his work for his feelings ever.
He got off the van, and walked towards Mild who looked worried.
"What's wrong?" He asked seeing the discomfort in everyone's face.
"He changed his M.O or it ain't the same killer Gulf"
"What do you mean!?"
Mild sighed he had to tell him because for these types of scenes Gulf needed to ready himself more than the others, violent ones triggered him. "The victims body is a mess, she has bruising and burns everywhere "
Gulf stood still. He had escalated. Had something changed? Was it because he saw him the previous time? Was that why he was at his home? Gulf nodded and started walking toward the scene.
"Kanawut"
Gulf froze but quickly relaxed keeping a poker face in place, this was work not his personal life he had to separate the two. He turned to look at Suppasit who looked like he had been hit by a train, it made Gulf anxious but he kept his face neutral.
"Detective Suppasit?" He asked in a cold tone "Did you need anything before I examine the scene?"
"Why don't you let Mild do this o-"
"I'm the lead examiner in this investigation detective. If you have a problem with the way I work take it up with Chief" he turned and without looking back walked towards the scene.
He breathed in and out on his way there, clearing his mind, erasing any traces of his trauma, locking it all up in a box he had created long ago. He took a deep breath and walked in.
The floor was messily cleaned, he took pictures, it looked rushed. It wasn't consistent with the killer. The petals didn't make a clear path they seemed to be thrown around, scattered erratically . He walked slowly towards the body, she was wearing a white dress that seemed kind of big on her.
This scene was completely different from the others, the killer was in a erratic state, he wasn't meticulous or careful like the previous times. He was angry and frantic. Something had definitely gone wrong. He looked at the face of the victim, it was obvious she had not died recently.
He crouched down near her, even thought the smell of bleach was high, the smell of decay was strong as well, he looked down and noticed freezer burns on her toes. He took pictures of all of it. The multiple welts on her body, the rope burns on her wrist and ankles, the burn marks caused most likely by something that used adjustable electricity , like cables or a taser. He had tortured her.
Gulf stood up and took a deep breath. He felt a wave of guilt but he pushed it aside, not now. He crouched again and checked her bruised wrist but no dots were visible. He examined the body carefully, even though it was severely damaged no needle marks were visible either. He searched for the dots patiently , he found them on her shoulder, confirming it was the same killer, no one else knew about them except the team in charge of the investigation.
He felt a chill down his spine. He wasn't alone. They had told him they had cleared the area prior. The killer couldn't be here right? He stood up and turned slightly . He saw a figure standing at the end of the room by the exit door in the opposite side of where he entered. He felt his heart beat quickening , with how erratic this whole scene looked he wouldn't be surprised if he had waited around for him.
"Who is it?" He asked voice booming, he hoped he was loud enough someone else had heard it, the figure didn't move, it just stood there watching him, he felt the hair on his arms stand up. He kept his face blank, waiting.
"Kana.."
Gulf's breath caught. Did he hear right? He blinked, was his anxiety getting to him. No one knew his nickname only his best friends. The figure took a step towards him and Gulf held his ground. Gulf put his hand in his pocket sliding the phone out slowly without moving too fast and keeping his eyes on the figure, he unlocked and dialed one "Who the fuck are you? And what do you want? " He asked roughly he hoped he had pressed the right button.
He let the phone fall back into his pocket keeping his angled position hiding the light from the screen. The figured stopped as if it was hesitating. He needed to keep him there whoever it was. Inferior.He feels inferior. "Are you going to run away like a coward again? Or are you going to tell me what you want this time?" He wanted to ask if it was him at his house last time but he didn't know if Mild was listening. He saw the figure stop walking away at his words and took a step forward as if he was accepting the challenge.
Suddenly the shuffle of feet was heard someone was running Gulf hoped he couldn't hear it "Come on tell me what you want, or are you scared?" He said loudly trying to mask the footsteps approaching fast, he saw the figure shake his head as if he was having an internal battle. Gulf weighed his odds if he ran fast enough maybe he could get a partial or full picture of him.The shuffling was now closer.
He took a chance and began running towards the figure even though there was a big distance between them.
Mild,Mew and Zee rushed into the room, but Gulf didn't turn to see them he began taking pictures as many as he could and kept running towards the figure, realizing what was happening the killer took off and Gulf chased behind him. He heard the guys scream his name but he didn't care if this meant he could stop him he would keep going.
Gulf stumbled a couple of times but didn't stop he heard the guys behind him and people shouting orders to shut the scene down, he saw the figure turn into a room and followed him when he rushed in there was no one around just multiple doors. He heard Mild and Mew scream his name frantically but they sounded far away. He couldn't see clearly the only thing giving a hint of light was the moonlight.
It had to be the killer, he knew the place like the back of his hand he hadn't stumbled once which meant he knew where everything was without the need for light. He felt a rush of cold air behind him and turned. He was here he could feel his presence, he could smell the bleach. "Are you just going to keep hiding like a coward?" He asked again baiting him. Just one movement and he would take his picture.
He heard his name being called but continued to ignore it. He felt a shift and began taking photos non stop, he felt the camera being yanked from his hands but the strap around his neck pulled him forward, he smashed into a hard body who held him by the neck tightly pining him against the wall keeping his face looking upwards. Gulf tried to fight but he couldn't breathe, he felt the strap snap after another forceful tug. He took advantage of the distraction and used his knee to rib the attacker, he stumbled back releasing Gulf who collapsed to the floor gasping. He saw the figure approach him and raise his hand with the camera still in it ready to smash it on his head.
"Gulf!!!!" Mild voice sounded closer
"Kanawut!!" Zee shouted loudly
The figure quickly dashed out of the room, Gulf scrambled to his feet quickly stumbling at the sudden rush of dizziness but he pushed it away and rushed out he looked around for the figure but saw nothing, he began stumbling through the hallway listening carefully he heard a shuffle near by. He used his hand to find anything he could grab onto in the darkness, he found a stick he raised it turned into the room
"It's me!!!" The person shouted , Gulf stopped blinded by the flashlight in his face.
"Tul!?" Gulf asked confused
"Y-yes" he mumbled
Suddenly other flashlights appeared pointing at the two of them. Mild rushed forward hugging Gulf "Are you insane?? Why would you chase a killer!" He yelled then he turned to Tul "What are you doing here?!?"
"I- I- I wanted to see Examiner Kanawut in action so when my friend texted me they were coming to site I followed" he lowered his head " I just really wanted to see how he worked but then I was told no one was near him when he examined the scene so I just sat outside waiting" he looked at Gulf " I'm really sorry, when people started running around claiming a killer was on site and you were chasing on foot I got worried so I grabbed the flashlight and came to help"
Bullshit. Mild knew that was all bullshit, he felt the hairs on his body stand on end. What if he was trying to used the excuse of a killer to harm Kana.
" I could've hurt you" Gulf said his voice sounding hoarse catching everyone's attention. He grabbed at his throat and the bruising was evident under the light of the flashlights.
Tul took a step forward quickly reaching for Gulf "Are you hurt?Did the killer hurt you?!" He asked concerned.
Gulf immediately tensed but before he could lay a hand on him he had been pulled away and was now crushed into Mew's chest. Mild quickly flashed the light on Tul's face blinding him and began to lecture him.Mew held him tightly in his arms and Gulf felt him tremble and heard how quickly his heart was beating.He blinked, realizing he was still at work and pushed Mew away.
Mild stopped lecturing Tul who had been covering his face to keep the light away from his eyes "Don't ever sneak into a crime scene again" he finished.
Mild turned to Gulf "Let's go" Gulf shook his head "I have to re-examine the scene the killer took my camera"
"C-could I watch?" Tul asked softly but before Gulf could reply.
"No" Mew said sternly "this investigation is confidential you shouldn't be here to begin with. Follow me out"
Mild watched Tul's face closely as soon as Mew and the rest turned away his face shifted from disappointment to full hatred, it was so quick Mild wondered if he had imagined it.
———
Back at the station.
Gulf rubbed his neck trying to ease the pain, now that his adrenaline had died down a bit more he felt it more intensely "So?"
Saint shook his head "No needle puncture wounds, we can conclude she wasn't killed by a chloroform shot like the others" he lifted two vials of blood he had extracted from the victim "I'll test her blood for any other substances"
"Are you okay?" Saint asked looking at how pale Gulf looked.
Gulf nodded "Just a little bruised and tired that's all"
A knock on the door stopped the conversation they looked over to see Mew and Zee entering the room. Gulf didn't even have the strength to pretend anymore. He just looked away.
Zee patted Mew on the shoulder and signaled for Saint to follow him.
"I'll take these to the lab and be back" Saint said walking towards Zee.
"I'll go with you" Gulf said hoarsely.
Mew stood in front of him blocking his way out "I need to talk to you"
Gulf didn't have it in him, he was drained the fact that he was still standing was shocking to him. He looked at Saint who nodded and left.
"Suppasit I'm really not in the mood to talk right now"
"Gulf, please just listen to me" he lifted his hand to touch Gulf's cheek but he turned his face away from it and took a step back.
"Don't touch me"
This time the words didn't sound like how he said them with disgust the first time. No this time the tone was different from the first time he had heard them, they sounded full of pain. Mew had hurt him. The one thing he never wanted to do.
"There's nothing i can say that will fix my mistake. Reality is I messed up. It may sound like a cheap apology but I am sorry. I'm sorry for invading your privacy, I'm sorry for taking it upon myself to learn everything about you from a file and not from you yourself, I'm sorry I lied, I'm sorry I've hurt you..." he paused unsure if he was digging his grave deeper "but I don't regret it"
Gulf's head snapped up and Mew felt his chest tighten at the sight of Gulf's eyes swimming in unshed tears "I don't regret it because I got to know a very important part of your life, and it made me want to protect you, not because I felt sorry for you but because I saw how strong you really are"
The tears Gulf had been holding began to spill over.
"You are you so strong Kanawut, look how far you've made it, despite the pain, despite everything that had happened you never gave up even though you wanted to, you kept going and clawed yourself here. I admire your determination to keep going"
Gulf began to cry like he hadn't cried before, he felt Mew's arms around him holding him tight in place. He grabbed a handful of his shirt and sobbed holding on to him.
"I love you.." Mew whispered.
Gulf froze. What? He pushed him away.
Mew knew it would scare him but he was too distracted and let it slip. He saw the fear in Gulf's eyes, he saw his hesitation.
"Gulf you do-"
"I have to go" Gulf said in a cold tone.
Mew felt his chest constrict "Gulf please.."
Gulf shook his head and started to walk away, Mew tried to stop him, but he moved out of the way before he could grab him, he rushed out the room running into Saint. He's eyes were wide and full of fear. Saint hugged him tightly "I'll take you home let's go" Gulf just nodded and left with him.
Zee looked at Mew who looked deflated.
"It was too soon, I scared him"
Zee felt bad for his best friend he walked up to him and hugged him tightly as he cried.