Chapter 25
December 13, 1961
Dearest Sasha,
How are you? I know I'm not writing as much as I used to, but my health hasn't been the best lately. The other day, my classmates brought me home from college because I had fainted whilst painting. I don't recall it really. I just remember waking up at Astrid's. Astrid is worried about me, and she's written to my mother who insisted I come to England to see the doctor. Astrid's mum has got me at the best doctor in Hamburg, so I don't think that's necessary. The headaches come more often now. The doctors have done tests and xrays, and well they don't show anything abnormal. I hope I get better soon, I hate being ill. I miss you, Sasha. Hope all is well.
Love, Stuart xxx
I took a sip of my tea as I finished reading the letter. The headaches that Stu had started getting at the end of last year would come more and more frequently, and now he was fainting as well. I worried about him because I know he is stubborn. Hopefully, his doctor can find out what is wrong. Just then, the door buzzed.
I walked to the front door and opened it to reveal George standing there with a bouquet of red roses and baby's breath.
"George," I smiled, "I wasn't expecting you today."
He kissed me on the cheek, "I know, but it's your birthday, and I picked these up in between gigs. I know we weren't supposed to see each other until next Wednesday, but..."
"George," I stopped his nervous rambling, "They're beautiful. Do you have time to come in?"
"For a bit, yeah," he exhaled.
George followed me inside and to the kitchen where I was drinking my tea before. Last night at Brian's party for the boys, I had agreed to dance with George. I smiled at the nervous way he had asked me out and then the bold way he kissed me before the night was over. I thought about him until I fell asleep last night, and I thought about him when I woke this morning.
I took the bouquet from him, "You didn't have to do this, it's so thoughtful of you."
"I wanted to. It's your birthday after all," George spoke as I filled a vase with water and arranged the flowers in it, "I had a great time dancing with you last night."
I smiled at him, "I did too, George. Are you hungry?"
"Oh, no, I ate at the Cavern," George replied.
"Tea?" I asked, smiling.
George wrung his hands together, and I wondered why he was nervous, "No, I have to get going. We just finished our lunch gig when I went to buy those, and I have to get back to rehearse for our evening gig. I just wanted to stop by and wish you a happy birthday. You should come see me play tonight."
"Thank you, George, but I think I'll stay in tonight," I replied.
Truthfully, the thought of going and watching the Beatles play at the Cavern tonight didn't sound appealing to me. I wondered if John had seen George and I dancing last night. I wondered if he had seen George kiss me. It was then that I remembered him snuggled up to that blonde girl at the party.
"Will you ever come see me play?" George blurted out.
I didn't say anything.
"I'm sorry," he quickly apologized, "I just, you know the other lads, their birds watch them play, and I know it's different for you, but I just..."
"George, it's okay. I'll come see you play, just not tonight. I have to get up early to work tomorrow."
"Oh, I'm sorry, really," George said, "Well, I have to get going. Happy Birthday."
I followed him to the front door, "Thank you, George. The flowers are beautiful, and they're my favorite kind."
"I'll see you next Wednesday at the cafe, Sasha," he leaned down and kissed my cheek.
"Goodbye, George," I called after him as he walked down the sidewalk.
I found myself disappointed that he hadn't kissed me on the lips. I grinned and admired the flowers he brought me. I couldn't wait for Wednesday.
December 20, 1961
I took a deep breath in the mirror. It was Wednesday. I think I looked alright to meet George for lunch. I hadn't spoken to him since my birthday, but I hadn't stopped thinking about him. I never thought that I would feel this way again after John, and yet, butterflies would erupt in my stomach each time I thought about George.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I had actually done makeup today for the first time in months. I wore a dress with my hair up in a high ponytail. I grabbed a lipstick tube off of my dresser and pigmented my lips with the red stain. John had always liked when I wore red lipstick. I shook that thought out of my head.
I slipped my feet into high heels. John hadn't liked it when I wore high heels because he wanted a nice height difference between us. I thought of how tall George was and grinned to myself. It was foreign that I had grinned thinking about someone else besides John.
I made my way downstairs and grabbed my purse off of the table by the front door. I took a deep breath again as I locked the front door. I was starting to get nervous to go on an actual date.
I got to the café a little early and expected George to be late like John would've been, but he was there at a table in the corner. His chocolate eyes met my blue ones, and he stood and waved. I walked over to him.
He kissed my cheek after giving me a warm hug, "You look beautiful."
I smiled at him. George pulled my chair out and helped me in. He really had no idea how nice that was considering that John would've never done that.
"It's nice to see you again," I confessed.
He grinned at me, "I almost called you. I don't think I should go without seeing you as long as we did this weekend."
I smiled at him. The waitress came and took our order and gave us some glasses of coke, which George had ordered before I got there.
He stared at me as I sipped my coke through the straw, "I really like you, you know."
"Already getting to the serious conversation?" I winked at him.
He chuckled, grabbing a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, "Fancy a ciggie?"
"Have you forgotten that I don't care for smoking?"
George lit his and puffed some smoke into the air, "I guess I never really paid attention."
George and I kept the playful flirting going on until our food arrived. George told me about all of his family, and I told him about mine. He talked about the boys' second trip to Hamburg in the summer, careful not to mention anything about John.
***
"So, we never had a cat again thanks to my mother," I finished telling a story from my childhood.
Suddenly, George threw his head back laughing like a little kid. The laugh lines around his mouth became deeper, and his eyes squeezed shut. John never thought I was that funny. George opened his eyes and looked into mine deeply. He grabbed my hand from across the table. We looked into each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity. I studied him, and he studied me. George was much more romantic than John. I was so comfortable around him. I never thought I would be so comfortable around a man like this ever again.
I trusted George. I felt like I knew him completely. I think I was falling in love with him. I had to be careful. I didn't want things to move as fast as they did with John. I needed to get to know George better, even if I felt like I knew him enough. I thought I knew John, but he turned on me.
Soon, George was paying the bill, and we were walking down the block. George grabbed my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. It felt nice to be holding someone's hand again. I was about to bring up John when George smiled and looked at me.
"So, every Christmas my family watches 'A Wonderful Life' and 'White Christmas' on the telly. Mum makes Christmas cookies and we all sit around reciting the lines and singing the songs. It's quite fun."
I smiled, "It sounds fun."
George grinned. His hand squeezed mine, and I could tell that he was suddenly nervous. He cleared his throat, "Um, I was wondering if you would actually like to spend Christmas with my family. You know, for a change of scenery. Also, I imagine Christmas to be kind of boring at the McCartney household," he chuckled.
I looked at him. We had stopped walking now. Everything felt so right, "I would love to spend Christmas with you, George."
"Good," he exhaled, "You could bring your things and stay at ours for a couple days."
"I'll come the day before Christmas Eve and stay. It'll be a nice change of scenery, like you said," I said.
My teeth started chattering from the cold, and George brought me into a warm hug right there of the middle of the sidewalk, "I'm so happy. I really like you a lot, Sasha."
"I like you a lot too, George," I muttered into his shoulder, "I better get going, though. My shift at NEMS starts soon."
George pulled away from the hug, "I had a nice time today."
"Me too," I said.
We stood there awkwardly for a few seconds. This feeling was still so new to me. Suddenly, George leaned in and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck wanting the kiss to deepen. I felt his hands grab my waist as his tongue entered my mouth. The kiss was exhilarating, and for the first in over a year, the past was the past. I could look to my new future, hopefully with George.
He pulled away, "Wow."
"Yeah," I smiled.
George kissed me softly again, "I'll call you tonight."
"Okay, I'll be expecting your call."
George and I hugged again, and we walked our separate ways. I couldn't stop smiling the rest of the day. I couldn't wait for Christmas.
December 23, 1961
I walked up to the brick row houses on a street called Upton Green. I walked to the front door of the one that George had told me the number and knocked. The door swung open, and George scooped me into his arms.
"I missed you," he kissed me.
I smiled at him, "I missed you too."
It still felt a little weird, but I was hoping the holidays with him would allow me to loosen up some more.
George grabbed my bag for me, "Come in. My dad's here, but mum just went out to the shop to get a few things. My brothers and their wives are coming tomorrow."
"Is your sister coming?" I asked, remembering George telling me about his older sister.
"No, she can't make it. She just moved to Canada with her husband," George explained to me as I followed him up the stairs.
"Well, this is my room," George said as we entered a small room with a twin sized bed and a few guitars next to the wardrobe.
"It's cozy," I said, looking around.
George wrapped his arms around me, "I hope you don't mind sharing a room with me. I can sleep on the floor."
I looked up at his face, "You don't have to. It seems like it gets cold in here at night, and I might need someone to keep me warm."
"Cheeky," he smirked before kissing me softly.
George and I had spoken to each other every day on the phone since our date at the cafe. I really liked him. He was sweet and thoughtful, so different then how I thought he would be.
The next day, George's brothers had brought their wives, and we had sat around the television watching 'A Wonderful Life' and 'White Christmas' in true Harrison family tradition. That evening George and I helped bake cookies and cakes with his mom. When the Christmas baking was done, we headed upstairs and cuddled each other until the morning. George was really growing on me. He was sweet, his family was sweet, and they seemed to like me as well. George really knew how to treat a lady, and I appreciated the fact that he didn't really want to rush things. The point we were at in this relationship was still the 'getting to know each other phase' with lots of stolen kisses. There hadn't been any pressure from him to go farther than that or say the L-word.
On Christmas morning, George shook me awake, "Sasha, it's time to exchange gifts."
I nodded and got out of bed. I stayed in one of his button down shirts and a pair of his boxer shorts. I brushed through my hair and grabbed his hand so he could lead me down the stairs. George had told me about their gift-giving, and he told that I didn't have to get anything since I didn't know his family yet. I got George a few American records that I would give him later, in private though. Mrs. Harrison handed me a mug of hot cocoa while I watched the Harrisons exchange Christmas gifts. I didn't feel left out at the moment, but I knew that next year I definitely wanted to be a part of this. His family was so fun, laughing and joking with each other as they opened gifts.
We had a large English breakfast and lounged around until supper. Mrs. Harrison cooked a huge meal again, and we pigged out once again, especially George. I was surprised at how much a man of his stature could eat. It was quite hysterical.
After supper, me and George headed to his room for so alone time together. I grabbed the bag that I was hiding in the bottom of my suitcase and handed it to him, "Merry Christmas, George," I said, kissing him on the cheek.
"Darling," he had recently started calling me that, and I swooned every time he did, "You didn't have to get me anything."
"It's Christmas," I said simply, "Open it!"
"Alright, alright," George grabbed some tissue paper from the top of the bag and pulled it out.
He pulled out the two records that I had wrapped individually in wrapping paper. He unwrapped and read over the covers of the albums, "Thanks, Sasha. I haven't heard of these before."
I smiled at him, "They're American. My mom always sends me the popular records at the moment, and I liked those so much that I told her to send me another copy so I could give them to you."
"Thank you. If you like them, I'll like them, for sure," he gave me a large toothy smile, those laugh lines growing deeper in his cheeks.
I laughed a bit, "You know, George, I've never noticed before, but you have fangs."
"What do you mean?"
"A couple of your teeth look like fangs. Like Dracula," I smiled.
George looked genuinely concerned now, "Really?"
I laughed at him, "Don't worry. I think it's cute."
He giggled and leaned toward me. Before kissing me on the lips, he dipped his head down and kissed my neck, gently biting the skin, "I am Dracula," he murmured.
I laughed and grabbed the side of his face, "You're cute."
We stared into each other's eyes for a moment before I decided to get heartfelt, "George, I can't thank you enough for being so kind to me. I was beginning to think that all love ever did was end, but now, I'm not so sure. I didn't know if I would be able to feel this close to someone again, but you make me feel so special and wanted."
George stood up from the bed and walked over to his wardrobe. He grabbed a small gift bag and sat down next to me again, "I care about you a lot. I've fancied you for a while, I'll admit, but I wasn't sure I would ever get the chance to be with you. These last few days, well, I think I've fallen in love with you. You don't have to say it back, but just know how I feel about you."
He handed me the bag and motioned for me to open it. I grabbed a box inside the gift bag and pulled it out. I looked up at him, and he gave me a toothy grin. I still couldn't believe that George had told me he loved me. I wanted to say it back, but it felt too soon. I opened the box to reveal a silver necklace with a heart pendant hanging from it.
I took it out of the box, "This is beautiful, George."
"Happy Christmas. I was wondering if you'd be my girl?"
I smiled at him again, which was something that I couldn't stop doing, "Of course I will."
George smiled at me. I felt tears coming to my eyes. I tried to hold them in, but a lonely one slid down my cheek.
George wiped it away quickly, "Don't cry, darling."
He brought me into a hug, and I held on tight to him, "I'm sorry. I just thought that I was never going to find someone again. I did love John, you know, and," I started to cry harder. That was the first time I had mentioned John to anyone other than Stu and Paul.
George pulled away and searched my eyes, "I know you loved him, Sasha. I know that a relationship like that is hard to get over when it just ends. I saw everything play out, and I can swear to you now, I will never betray you, and I will never hurt you like he did."
I hugged him again as I cried. I knew George was being sincere, and I appreciated that. All I could do now was look toward the future. I suppose that I was finally over John.