One day to Haya's doomsday
Haya sat on the sofa in the lounge of her parent's place, waiting for Taimoor to pick her up . It was funny how somewhere she had spent all her life wasn't her home anymore. Just a few months ago, this was her ghar(home) and now it wasn't. She was tapping her foot in impatience against the hardwood floor of the lounge which creaked every time her brown slides made contact with the it. She was restless.
Last night she had decided to talk to him. And since then she had changed her decision countless time and the reverted back to the original plan of talking to him. She really was edgy and uptight , she had to talk to him before she changed her mind again. But there was no sign of him. Where the hell is he? And why is it talking so long. She thought as she stared hard at the main door as if he would miraculously appear if she glared hard.
Ammi (mother in law) had informed her that Taimoor would pick her up when he came back home for lunch-break . It was 2 already. Why was it taking so long? Maybe it wasn't talking too long. Maybe it was just that she was waiting. And when you are waiting every second feels like an eternity. Doesn't it ? She thought as her gaze flickered to the clock that hung on the walls which like her mood right now was grey and spiritless. Why have we painted the lounge grey ? She thought .
A day at her parents' place was nice and sweet as she had missed them immensely, she was thankful . But throughout that day ,a part of her felt as if it wasn't enough. As if something was off and it disturbed her. A lot! She felt like something precious was slipping out of her hand , like sand. Or, as if she was going to miss a train , which was going to lead her to dream place. Although she didn't want to compare, but her mind couldn't help itself. And an image of 'Geet' from 'Jab We Meet' flashed though her mind and she involuntary began comparing herself with her.
The door of the longue creaked and Haya looked up in anticipation, hoping to see his face. It only had been a day but to her lovesick heart it felt like ages. You should have thought twice before , asking for a divorce. Ek din main itna mari ja rahi ho, divorce manganay chali the . ( It's been just a day and you are dying to have a look of him. And you wanted a divorce) Her alter ego mocked her. But Haya ,wasn't in a mood to give flying shit to what her alter bitchy ego thought.
She had missed him a lot. Yes, she had. There was no denying it. Dadi and her mother , even her brother kept mentioning Taimoor and she blamed them for forcing her to miss him. It was another lie she had told herself. That she was forced to miss him.
Coming towards her wasn't Taimoor. She knew by the sound of the footsteps that it wasn't him. Her smile which she hadn't realize was there vanished as she found herself staring at her brother , Hassan who was dangling the keys in his hands.
"Get your stuff fatty , I'll drop you at Phupho's place." He said as he sagged beside her on the sofa, dropping the keys on the coffee table, carelessly.
"Huh....." , she asked dump folded. Taimoor wasn't coming. She was disappointed. No, actually she was devastated. She was looking forward to talk to him . Rational part of her told her that she still could talk to him , when he returned from the head office in the evening. But when did she listen to her rational side. Her mind told her that it was a sign and an escape , Allah had offered her to protect herself.
Right now, Haya was in no mood for a tug of war between her heart and mind. She was upset . Period ! And both her bitchy alter ego and the lovesick alter ego were making her more upset, besides they were giving her headache with their bickering. Since last two days there was this constant whispering of her alter egos in her head which was driving her crazy.
"What huh ? Wapis nai jana ? (Don't you want to go back?) " Hassan asked as he quirked his eyebrows at her, trying to understand her. He had expected her to explode and call him 'gadhay" (Jackass) or any insult she could think of, for calling her 'fatty'. That was to be followed by a speech , "How-she-wasn't-fat" . But she sat there staring in space, looking lost.
" I just thought Taimoor was supposed to pick me. You caught me by surprise." She replied giving him a small smile as she shrugged her shoulders.
"Oh that , Taimoor bhai called and asked if I could drop you, he is stuck somewhere and was going to be late. Khair , I said, 'I'd be glad to dump you back at his place.' " Hassan replied in a cheerful tone.
Haya sat there trying to process the information. He had refused to even pick her up. Had he already given up on all the responsibilities he had towards her? She wanted to strangle him for leaving her waiting and not showing up. God, she wanted to scratch his beautiful face in retaliation. But there were two things which were a major hindrance. First, she didn't have long nails since she had bit them all(even though it was a bad habit and her mother slapped her when she saw her biting on nails. She still did it. ) Second, she was too in love with that handsome face . She didn't have a heart to scratch it. The revenge she had just imagined was just a thought , she had had to make herself feel better about the situation.
It was no surprise to her that Taimoor had asked Hassan to drop her than going for the driver like a usual person, knowing how possessive and controlling he was. It wasn't that he didn't allow her to go with the driver or something like that. He hadn't even voiced his objections in proper English. But she knew he preferred to drop her, himself. Even in Islamabad where Ali used to drive her around, Taimoor instructed Bua to accompany them and look out for Haya. And Bua had. Bua looked out for Haya
What is he going to tell bua when she inquiries about me? Haya thought as she stared at the colorful pattern which was embroidered on the red table mat covering the table.
Haya was still lost when she felt a cold hand on her forehead. Looking up she found her brother studying her with concern.
"Tabiyat tu thek hai hai , Haya ?" (You are not sick right , Haya?") Her brother's voice was filled with so much concern that she bought the act and smiled warmly at him , after nodding a 'yes'.
"Lag nai raha .(It doesn't seem like it.) I called you fatty and then dumping thing. And you haven't reacted." Hassan replied as he patted her shoulder which led to her nearly falling out of the sofa.
"Mama", Haya shouted as she made her way to the kitchen to complain.
That's what happens when your brother is just a year and a half older than you. You treat him , like an equal . And he does to . And there is constant bantering and remote fights which are more intense than WWE tournaments. It felt like they were back to the old days where she would run to her mother or her father if he were at home and complain about her brother being bully.
Haya left with Hassan only after making sure that Hassan got the lecture and a slight beating from their mother for making fun of her. That sight beating had included their mother pulling Hassan's ear lightly and Hassan screaming as if he just got hit by a cannon ball. Such a drama queen !
"Hey fatty, you want to grab your choco cone?" Hassan asked as they crossed Mc Donalds.
[Again Mc Donald's !!! Yaar ab tu mujhe day do kuch @McDonalds's. Itni promotion kar de hai mainay. ]
"Are you trying to bribe me to forgive you by getting me the ice-cream?" She asked as she folded her hands on her chest.
" I am not! Asay he poch lia."(I asked out of no where)
"Nai khani..." (I don't want to eat it)
"You are acting so unlike yourself , Haya ! Are you okay ? Taimoor bhai treats you right ?" Hassan asked and this time he was really concerned about her well-being.
Haya was blown away by the concern. That's was what they were like. They pulled each other's leg, but they also looked out for each other.
"I am great bhai(brother). Thank you for asking." Haya replied as she gave her brother one of her genuine warm smile. It was her habit. She referred to him as bhai only when he acted like her big brother instead of a pissed off 'Bart' from The Simpsons.
She had dodged the second question. What was she supposed to say ? That Taimoor treated her great, it was her who was at fault. God ,what a mess she was in .
They were halfway to what she now referred as 'home' when she decided , she needed to talk to someone since Taimoor didn't seem interested in talking.Orratheritwasher,who wasn't interested. She had to talk to someone, who would help her understand. And there was only one person who could help her see everything clearly, Mariyam! Haya needed to get all the things out of her system . And she couldn't talk to her mother about it. Who talks to their Mom about boy problems? It would have been so weird. Not that it was a bad thing or she held something against it. It was just something peculiar to her since she and her mother never had the boy talk. EVER!
"Hassan. Wait up. Stop the car for a minute please." She asked her brother as she swiped through the phone looking for a number.
"God, Haya I swear if you are going to tell me you forgot something at home , I am going to explode."
"No , its not that. Can you drop me at Mariyam's place? Actually no , she isn't at her home. You'd have to drop me at Shahmeer's place." Haya replied. She was a lot more confused the she sounded.
"Haya ... what is this ?" Hassan asked, sounding a little irritated as he slowed down. He wasn't going to stop the car like she had instructed him to , in the middle of the road.
"Hey , can't you do this for me ? I'd be out of your hair soon and you already owe me. So....", Haya gave him the puppy dog look she had mastered since she was in diapers. And her brother shook his head in defeat.
Haya decided to inform her mother in law first, about the change of plans. It felt like the right thing to do. She called to ask if it was okay to visit her friend and Ammi being a sweetheart she was, had replied that it was okay and even suggested that Taimoor would pick her from Shahmeer's since they were best friends and all. Aa he na jae pick karnay kahin . (Yeah right, he is so going to come to pick me up). She had muttered to herself after disconnecting the call.
After informing Ammi , Haya called Mariyam who picked the phone on the first call which was so like her. "Mariyam ! Can we meet ?" Haya asked as soon as Mariyam picked up the call. And Mariyam being the great friend, just went 'sure' without asking any questions and texted her the address.
Two hours later, Haya was sitting opposite Mariyam in dining room toying with a fine china cup which held chai.(tea)
"Are you going to tell me what is wrong, you have been staring at this cup since last 15 minutes. Haya tell me what's wrong. You are giving me anxiety !" Mariyam asked as she sat beside Haya for closure.
"I am sorry M. Umm, I messed up big time." Haya replied putting down the cup. Her hands were shaking with nervousness and she didn't want to spill the chai and make a mess out of her . Or break that fine china cup . What would Shahmeer's family think of her? That Taimoor married such a clumsy freak who couldn't even drink a cup of tea without breaking it.
"Haya can you stop beating around the bush tell me what's wrong."
"IthinkiaminlovewithTaimoor." Haya said it all in a one go. So fast , that even to her own ear's it didn't make sense.
"Huh ?"
"I-am-in-love-with-Taimoor." Haya repeated and this time a little slowly.
"I thought so ! About high time you realize that."
"It's not that easy M."
"Love is never easy, Haya !"
"There is a slight problem." Haya began again .
"Bring it on."
"I asked Taimoor for divorce."
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND ?" Mariyam shouted and Haya found herself looking at the door of the room which thankfully was closed.
"Can you be a little louder, Please! I don't think your mother in law was able to hear you." Sarcasm was dripping from her voice, to which Mariyam responded with an eye roll. "M, your mother in law she knows Taimoor. I don't want her to pity Taimoor because he got unlucky with wife. You need to be a little quiet for my sake. I don't want to come out as a mess , even though I am a mess." Haya's insecurities were on the surface and whatever she had just said was something she felt in her heart.
"Quiet ? Are you freaking insane ? You asked the man you love to divorce you? How stupid can you be ? And what on Earth are you talking about! Taimoor being unlucky? Haya, you are the best. Your heart is pure like a child's . He is unlucky?? He is the luckiest man to have you as wife" Mariyam replied as she took Haya's hands in hers and gave them a tight squeeze of reassurance.
"It's complicated Mariyam. " Haya said and then she found herself narrating all that she had been hiding to Mariyam.
"You !!!" Mariyam shouted at the end of her narration and then took deep breaths to calm her self down.
"Okay first of all , go to HELL yaar ! I feel betrayed. You didn't tell me about it. I would have supported you on the day of your wedding instead of being a I-know-it-all jerk. I feel so bad. That day , I just kept throwing 'I knew it' at you. I really thought you guys were getting married because you guys were in love."
"I am sorry , M ! I didn't want to over burden you."
" Overburden ? Whatever. IT was a shit move Haya. Do you know how I am feeling right now? I feel guilty for making you feel as if I am going to judge you if you had told me. I wouldn't have judged you Haya. Only a crappy friend judges you." Mariyam's voice was thick with emotions as she stared at her friend in disbelief and guilt.
Haya decided to give her friend a hug. It was least she could do. The guilt-stricken face of Mariyam made her regret her decision of not telling her. But there wasn't not a thing she could do about it except hug her to make her feel better.
" Are you sure about the bet? Taimoor doesn't seem like a man to bet on woman."
"Well that's what I though M! So , I asked him. I hoped he would contradict. Deny it. But he apologized instead which means there was a bet."
"Haya, I really feel that you should at least give him a chance. Listen to his explanation."
"Mariyam I can't. I cant bear to hear it from him. Do you know what's worse? Everyone thinks we are perfect. And I too sorta believe it now. He balances me out . And on the top of it I love him . It doesn't matter, I'll love him anyway," Haya said, "I loved him when we were kids and he took me in his team, I loved him when he used to make fun of me , I loved him when I thought he had married me because of his mother, I still love him even after realizing I am just a bet. Shitty I know, but I loved him, when I was screaming at him and asking for a divorce. I have loved that bastard all along M. You were right all along." Haya said as she cried her eyes, while Mariyam patted her back .
"Oh Haya !" Mariyam said as she rang soothing circles on her back to comfort her.
" I know , it's such a mess . Sounds like a Indian soap we used to watch when we were kids. What was it "Kundali Bhagya? ". So many twists and turns and dum tana nanana's and 'aaaaaaaa's' " Haya was desperately trying to change the topic as she gave Mariyam one of her awkward smiles.
"It's not a mess Haya. It's okay to feel vulnerable when your heart is at stake. And I totally understand, or I am trying to understand. And, it wasn't 'Kundali Bhagaya' . It was 'Kumkum Bhagaya'. It still airs on Zee tv . And stop trying to change the subject. Just, Promise me just one thing."
[Note : heheheh So do any of you watch Kumkum or Kundali Bhagaya. I used to but it got shitty. And it doesnt end ufff. ]
"Anything M"
"Give Taimoor a chance to explain. For your sake , for my sake. And maybe you'll find something you were looking for. You love him, and according to you he doesn't. What would happen when you confront him? He'll realize that you love him and would forgive him in a heartbeat. So, what Haya? Talk to him ,Please . It wouldn't make anything worse, if not better. And at least this way, you'd have peace in your heart knowing you tried to give this relation a chance."
"And remember your insta bio Gurl......."
"What's yours will find you." They both stated the quote of Hazrat Ali (A.S) at the same time and laughed.
Few hours later, Haya was feeling a lot better than she did in the morning. Sitting beside Mariyam they both were going through Mariyam and Shahmeer's wedding pictures.
"I swear Haya , you guys were the highlights of our wedding album. Literally , everyone who saw they album awed on your and Taimoor's pictures. Shahmeer and I decided to add that cute pictures of yours from the barat besides us. Isn't it funny we both best friends married best friends." Mariyam said as she grabbed the Barat album.
"Yeah , who would have thought I'd get married to Taimoor and you would get married to his best friend."
"I did . I did think of the first part, at-least."
"So did I" called a voice startling both of them.
They looked up to find Shahmeer who looked too smug for startling them and Taimoor who stood behind Shahmeer. He lacked a tie, and the top buttons of his white crisp cotton shirt were undone. With his sleeves rolled up and a Rolex on his wrist , he stood there tall and proud. Haya stared at him with wide open eyes. Had she missed him so much that she was drooling at the first glance. NO! It wasn't that. It was the button, and the rolled up sleeves and the messy hair!
And he had to open the top button! She was exasperated. Why had he not buttoned up , displaying himself like that. AJEEEBBB (Strange) Haya had this overpowering urge to march towards him pull his collar and fcking BUTTON UP ! Was she getting jealous ? But then why would she be jealous ? Mariyam had her own eye candy. There was no need to get jealous. Maybe Taimoor's possessive streak was rubbing off on her.
Haya was so lost in ogling Taimoor who looked everywhere except at her. His illegible expression which she was used to , were deciphered by her as if he would be anywhere than be here with her. And that exasperated her some more.
"You could have at least fake coughed to let us know , you guys were here." Mariyam complained as she stood up and slapped her husband's biceps lightly." And missed the chance of spying. Never." He replied giving Mariyam a cheeky smile. Averting his gaze from his wife, Shahmeer looked at Haya
"Salam Bhabhi,".
After the pleasantries were exchanged , they found themselves on the dining table which was another ordeal she had to bear. She wanted to talk to him . Was it too much too ask for ? She thought as she grilled holes in the back of Taimoor who was sitting on her right but facing Shahmeer on his right! Why you gotta be so rudee ! Don't you know I am human too!
He had been constantly ignoring her presence. First, he hadn't acknowledged her presence in the guest room and now he was completely oblivious to her on the dinner table. So oblivious that he didn't even pass her the salt when she asked for it. Okay, that is a petty issue, 'he didn't pass me the salt' ! Mariyam did , it shouldn't be a problem now ! Haya was lecturing herself but deep inside she was upset.
If it weren't for Mariyam ,who kept involving her in a conversation, she would have cried. She hated being ignored. The fact that her favorite person was ignoring her and laughing with another person , was as sad and hurtful as it could get.
"Haya you aren't eating?" Mariyam inquired turning everyone's attention towards her as she stared at her plate which only had the salad noodles on the side.
"I am eating." Haya replied feeling uncomfortable under their curious gazes of Shahmeer and Mariyam. He didn't even glance in my direction.
She wanted to slam her fork into his hand which was resting on her side to get his attention. But she resisted that elephantine urge. She didn't want to create a scene in front of the perfect couple Mariyam and Shahmeer.
Taimoor knew she was restless; he could feel it. He had felt it when she glared at him thought the dinner. And he had to bite his cheeks to stop himself from laughing. She was making faces, choking on her food, asking for salt to get his attention. Instead of going for a "I missed you" or just leaning on his shoulder like she did idly. She had asked him to go away, so he wasn't going to be the one to make move on her. She had to ask him. Zid tu phir zid he sahe !(If it is obstinance than be it !)
Taimoor was trying his best to avoid making any sort of contact with her despite the silent pleas of his heart. He even had asked her brother Hassan to drop her at his place.
"So, when are you guys leaving for Islamabad?" Shahmeer asked as he took a sip of water from his glass. She shouldn't be staring at her friend's husband, but she couldn't help but compare. Shahmeer's arms didn't have veins popping out from his arms, like Taimoor's.
"I am leaving Tomorrow." Taimoor's voice pulled her back.
Did he say he is leaving? Mere bagair ? (Without me )
"Bhai, reh lay ga Bhabhi kay bagir ?" (Would you be able to live without your wife ) Shahmeer asked raising his dark brown brows at Taimoor.
"Haan(YES) ." "Yeh he bhej rahi hai (She is sending me away)" he muttered to himself which she was unable to hear. She was lost in his "Haan" that had pained her a lot.
By the end of the dinner , Haya was convinced that everyone was bloody wrong. Taimoor didn't love her. And she didn't want to beg for his love. But then she didn't want to let go . Why was she acting like a dimwit?
اور بھی دکھ ہیں زمانے میں محبّت کے سوا
راحتیں اور بھی ہیں وصل کی راحت کے سوا
Aur bhi dukh hain zamaane mein muhabbat ke siva
Raahatein aur bhi hain wasl ki raahat ke siva
Translation English: There are many other sorrows in this world besides the sorrow of love
There are many other delights besides the delight of union
NOTE:
Okay so first of I am thankful for the view, cant believe I am on 2.7k views. Its not huge, but its kinda huge for me .So thank you so much.Those of you who left feedback (votes, comments, messages) I am thankful, like legit.Its because of you guys that despite being pretty low on the response , I bounce back with a chapter. And that too with enthusiasm and big smile on my face.
This is me, when I find people leaving after reading without giving feedback. And to those of you guys, Yaaarrrr please ,if it aint good to deserve a vote or a heart, leave me a criticism note so I know where I lack. Or a comment explaining what you disliked. Shukriya(Thank you)
And FYI I am not a vote hungry insan. My personal preference are comments and messages that you guys leave on my profile. Its just that voting is kinda easy and requires less effort on your part.
Khair, I hope you enjoyed. Tell me about it in the comment section below . COMMENT AND SHARE(In my mind , I sound like a youtuber lol. ) Only a chapter to go , followed by an epilogue and we are done. YAYAYYAYAYYAYAYYAYAYA
And here I am again with a huge ass author's note. (SORRYYYYYYY )
ANd I am sorry for being way too cliche, I swear I wanted to post the next juicy chapter now , but then some of you guys would have just skipped to the juicy part instead of reading this. (I promise I would post that juicy Chapter before 12. I suck a little at following the schedule lol .)
Sending lots of love and blessings your way !
فی امان اﷲ
Love Alyna ❤