Luke made it through his first two class periods on Monday without freaking out. He was doing a pretty good job of pretending that Saturday night never happened and trying to just go with his normal routine, even though he was reminded of Ashley probably every second.
As soon as Luke stepped foot in his English classroom he realized that he couldn't do this. He took one look at Ashley, and then at Michael, and then at the empty desk next to Ashley that he was supposed to sit in and froze.
It was bad enough that Ashley and Michael had come up with some ridiculous plan to get Luke to lose his virginity, but Luke going off and having sex with Charlie only made things 100 times worse.
"Mr. Hemmings, can you please take your seat?" His teacher asked, and that's when Luke noticed that the bell had rung and he was just standing there in the doorway.
"I'm going to the nurse!" Luke yelled and then turned around, running out of the classroom.
He wasn't really going to the nurse, he was going somewhere else instead. He was going to the only person that could possibly get him out of the mess. The only person that Luke really had left.
Luke hated Michael for coming up with this plan. He hated Ashley for lying to him. He didn't want to talk to Calum because Calum never helped. Calum would also 100% tell Ashton what Luke did. Luke wasn't going to try and talk to Ashton, he'd just end up telling him what happened. He couldn't go to Charlie either because they might end up accidentally fucking again. He couldn't go to anyone, and Luke had never felt more alone.
"Mr. Walker?" Luke asked quietly, knocking on the already half-open door.
Mr. Walker looked up from his laptop, immediately shutting it when he saw that it was Luke. "Hey, Luke, sit down."
"Hi." Luke sighed and sat down in the chair in front of Mr. Walker's desk, dropping his backpack on the floor.
"What's up? Why aren't you in class?" Mr. Walker questioned. "You didn't get in trouble again, did you?"
"No..." Luke trailed off. "Well, yeah, I got into some trouble. But it's not exactly school trouble."
"Oh? Well what's wrong? I'm not exactly a counselor, but I can try to help." Mr. Walker said, awkwardly smoothing out his dress shirt.
"You have to promise that you won't get me into any more trouble for this, okay?" Luke pleaded. "I just need someone to vent to, I have no one left."
"I won't get you into any trouble, Luke, this will all stay between us." Mr. Walker nodded, and Luke let out a small sigh of relief.
"I did kind of a bad thing." Luke began, staring down at his lap as he spoke. He was so disappointed in himself he couldn't even look Mr. Walker in the eyes. "On Saturday night I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time, you know?"
"Aw, Luke, that's great - "
"No it's not." Luke said quickly, cutting Mr. Walker off. "After we did it she left and when I called her later she was at Michael's house, Michael Clifford, and she told me that he made her have sex with me."
"What do you mean he made her?" Mr. Walker questioned, suddenly looking very concerned.
"Well at a party at the beginning of the year Ashley was supposed to have sex with me because Michael paid her to but she didn't, she didn't feel right about it." Luke explained. He still didn't understand the whole story, so he was only going off of what he had been told. "I guess throughout our entire relationship Michael was there behind it all, trying to get my girlfriend to have sex with me."
"So... Did she like you? Or was it all fake?" Mr. Walker asked, probably confused as well.
"It wasn't all fake. Well, I don't think it was." Luke said slowly. He felt like crying, he loved Ashley so much and just wanted things to be normal again, but Luke didn't cry this time. "She said she loved me for real, but I just don't understand, because if she loved me then she wouldn't have gone through with this."
"Okay." Mr. Walker nodded, still trying to make sense of all of this.
"So then she broke up with me." Luke said, rubbing at his eyes that were already pretty red from him drinking and crying all weekend long. "She said that we just needed a break but I know that we're never really going to get back together, right? Breaks like that never work."
"I don't know, I've personally never 'gone on a break' with someone." Mr. Walker shrugged, using air quotes.
"Anyway, then I got really, really drunk. I stole a bottle of wine from my mom - which tasted really bad, by the way, alcohol is just gross - and I went over to my friend Ashton's house." Luke continued, not feeling very nervous at all about what he was about to tell Mr. Walker. Luke knew that he could trust him. "Ashton just recently broke up with his girlfriend as well, so I thought that maybe he could help me."
"Uh huh, go on." Mr. Walker nodded.
"Well, when I got there Ashton was asleep, but his girlfriend was - "
"The girlfriend that he just broke up with? Or a new one?" Mr. Walker interrupted for a moment, looking confused again.
Luke let out a big sigh. "His ex-girlfriend." He said, "She was there and Ashton was sleeping in the basement so I figured that I could just talk to her instead."
"Alright." Mr. Walker nodded again, urging Luke to continue.
"We talked a little and then she-she, uh, she took me upstairs to Ashton's room and - "
"Oh my God, Luke." Mr. Walker groaned and covered his face with his hands, probably already having an idea of what happened. "Tell me you didn't."
"I did." Luke said shyly, looking down at his lap again. "I had sex with her while my best friend was right downstairs and I feel so awful about it. But I left right away... Although, that doesn't really make things better..."
"Wow." Mr. Walker said, sighing. He sat back in his chair and stayed silent for a very long time.
"Are you-Are you mad?" Luke asked softly, noticing how Mr. Walker didn't have an answer straight away like he always did.
"I'm not mad, Luke, I'm just trying to think of a way that you could possibly get yourself out of this mess." Mr. Walker sighed again, and Luke felt even worse. He really valued Mr. Walker and his opinion and now Luke could tell that he was disappointed with him.
Luke shrugged. "I could just jump of a bridge."
"No, Luke, no." Mr. Walker said quickly, leaning forward in his seat again. "No, Luke."
"Okay." Luke nodded slowly, looking down again.
"You're going to be okay, Luke." Mr. Walker sighed. "You need to calm down, I think you're overreacting."
"I'm not overreacting! I fucked my best friend's ex-girlfriend in his own bed!" Luke said, then quickly covered his mouth with his hands as he realized what he'd said.
"Luke, really, I don't think this is as bad as you think it is." Mr. Walker said slowly, still seeming deep in thought. "I'm sure that if you just talk to your friends about this - "
"I'm an awful person. I'm an awful person, I deserve every bad thing that's ever happened to me. I hate myself." Luke said, rubbing hand hands over his face.
"Okay, Luke, you really need to calm down." Mr. Walker said. "You're not an awful person, don't say that about yourself. You made a couple mistakes, so what? You're friends made some mistakes too and I'm sure that if you all get together and talk about this you can figure it out."
"I don't know, Mr. Walker." Luke sighed, rubbing at his eyes that were red and dry from not getting much sleep the night before. "I'm scared, I don't know how my ex-girlfriend is going to react to me sleeping with my best friend's ex-girlfriend on the same night I lost my virginity."
Mr. Walker just shrugged again and leaned back into his chair, slowly shaking his head.
"I've been getting drunk a lot to try and make myself forget what happened." Luke blurted out. He was honestly scared about how dependent of alcohol he'd grown to be and thought that Mr. Walker could help. "I think my mom is starting to catch on, though, because I always lock myself in the bathroom to either drink or throw up from drinking."
"Aw, Luke, you really need to stop that." Mr. Walker groaned. "I mean, I understand that you're a teenager and you're going to want to have a drink or two at a party, but you shouldn't be locking yourself in a bathroom so you can get drunk without anyone knowing. That's not healthy."
"I know." Luke nodded. He hated the fact that he needed alcohol to make himself feel better, but Luke really had no one else. He felt like this was his only choice.
"Luke, if you keep drinking like that things can get really serious, you could get alcohol poisoning." Mr. Walker explain, even though Luke already knew all of the consequences of drinking too much. "You pass out, or even - "
"I know." Luke said quickly, cutting Mr. Walker off. "My girl-my ex-girlfriend used to tell me that all the time."
"Well maybe you should listen to her." Mr. Walker chuckled lightly.
"I think I should get going now." Luke said after an awkward moment of silence. He knew that Mr. Walker was just trying to help and look after him, but Luke felt like he was being yelled at.
"Are you sure? Third period isn't over yet, do you really want to go back?" Mr. Walker questioned. He stood up from behind his desk and came around to the front so he could walk Luke out the door.
"Yeah, it's fine, Mr. Walker." Luke shrugged, staring down at the floor.
"Hey, Luke?" Mr. Walker asked, grabbing Luke's attention again.
"Uh huh?" Luke said and finally looked up. Mr. Walker was about the same height as he was, so for once Luke wasn't looking down at someone as he spoke.
"Did you really mean it earlier when you said that you had no one else to go to?" He asked softly, running a hand through his hair.
"No offense, Mr. Walker, but if I was on better terms with one of my friends I probably would have gone to them first." Luke admitted. "I like you, really, but I wouldn't choose to openly tell a teacher all of my problems unless I had no one else."
"Yeah, I totally understand." Mr. Walker nodded, agreeing with Luke. "But what about your parents? I mean, I'm glad that we were able to talk about this, but I would just assume that you'd trust your parents more than someone like me."
"Well, uh, I'm kind of in a tough situation with my parents right now." Luke let out a big sigh, knowing that he was about to spill all of his family problems to Mr. Walker as well.
"Do you want to talk about that, too?" Mr. Walker asked.
Luke took a deep breath and then started speaking again. "My father was abusive and an alcoholic and he left us when I was 7. My mom knows what he did to me but a couple weeks ago I came home and he was in my house, trying to apologize. So now I'm not speaking to my mom and I'm certainly not speaking to my father."
"Oh, I kind of know what you mean." Mr. Walker nodded. Luke thought that he was just saying that to make him feel better, he didn't think that Mr. Walker actually understood what he was going through. "My dad was a real dick to me and my siblings when I was growing up, too."
"Really?" Luke asked, kind of shocked.
"Yeah, but it's alright." Mr. Walker said, giving Luke a small shrug. "It's over now."
"Wh-What did you and your siblings do about it?" Luke asked, no longer wanting to leave Mr. Walker's office so quickly.
"Nothing really. Eventually my mom got sick of him and he left." Mr. Walker said and let out a small sigh. Luke felt bad, he'd probably upset Mr. Walker by asking.
"Have you seen him since?" Luke asked. He was so interested now, he'd never met anyone that had gone through something similar to him. It was nice to know that he wasn't completely alone.
"Yeah, I have." Mr. Walker nodded. "He's apologized and I haven't completely forgiven him for being such an asshole, but I guess he's on good terms with me and the rest of my family. I just needed some time."
"I guess that's what I need too." Luke sighed, looking down at his feet.
"You're going to be okay, Luke." Mr. Walker assured him, patting Luke on the back a few times. "Everyone makes stupid decisions sometimes, what's important is that you learn from them."
"Okay." Luke spoke quietly and nodded again, this time actually making his way to the door this time. "Thanks, Mr. Walker, really."
"Don't do anything stupid, alright Luke?" Mr. Walker chuckled as Luke walked out of the office, closing the door behind him.
He checked his phone and saw that there was still a good amount of time left in third period, and Luke figured that he might as well just go back to class.
Luke walked back upstairs and to his English classroom, where he hoped they would be reading silently or something simple for the rest of class. Luke really didn't want to do anything, he just knew that he'd get in trouble if he wandered around in the halls until the bell rang.
He entered the classroom and found everyone doing partner work, which just made Luke regret coming back in the first place. He walked straight over to his desk and sat down, not wanting to even attempt to do his work.
Luke finally looked over to the other side of the room and saw Michael and Ashley sitting with their desks pushed together. Luke was supposed to be her partner, not Michael.
It hurt. It really, really hurt. Luke still loved Ashley, no matter how many times he was going to tell himself that he hated her. He loved her and he couldn't stand seeing her with someone else.
But Luke knew that he was going to be okay. This wasn't the end of the world, people break up all the time and they go on with their lives. That's just what Luke needed to do, he needed to move on.
-
sORRY for the filler it talks about important things
IDK WHO I WANT LUKE TO END UP WITH SO WHO DO YOU WANT HIM TO END UP WITH
thanks bye