luke my boyfriend: hi merry christmas!!!
ashley my girlfriend: merry christmas!!!
luke my boyfriend: what are you doing today?? how's florida?? is it hot?? did you get some cool presents this morning??
ashley my girlfriend: im not in florida ://
luke my boyfriend: WHAT
luke my boyfriend: ARE YOU KIDDING ME
ashley my girlfriend: WHATS WRONG
luke my boyfriend: ive been sulking around my house for three days because i thought you were out of town
ashley my girlfriend: aw im sorry but yeah my mom fucked up and told me last minute that she was going on vacation with her new boyfriend to some fancy tropical island so i couldn't come
luke my boyfriend: why didn't you tell me you were here?? we could have hung out all week
ashley my girlfriend: idk i knew that you were spending time with your mom and your family and i just didn't want to bother you
ashley my girlfriend: im sorry i should have told you but you seemed to be really happy just hanging out at home
luke my boyfriend: ok that's true
luke my boyfriend: i am happy lol my mom made like a thousand cookies last night to take to my grandmas house today and i think i ate like half of them
ashley my girlfriend: if you keeping eating cookies like that you're going to get fat
luke my boyfriend: shut up
ashley my girlfriend: fatty
luke my boyfriend: so what are you doing today?? there's still no snow and it's making me sad lol
ashley my girlfriend: idk if we're doing anything later but right now I'm hiding in my room bc my dad and helen are yelling at each other
luke my boyfriend: WELL THATS NOT FUN
luke my boyfriend: TELL THEM TO STOP ITS CHRISTMAS THEY SHOULD NOT BE FIGHTING
ashley my girlfriend: yeah lol i don't think they really care at all about my opinion so me telling them to stop fighting wouldn't help
luke my boyfriend: did you at least open all of your presents this morning
ashley my girlfriend: not really i just got an envelope with some cash in it so i can go out and get whatever i want
ashley my girlfriend: oh and helen bought me some cute boots that i actually really wanted
luke my boyfriend: well that's not fun either
luke my boyfriend: that sounds boring lol my family goes really hardcore for christmas i wish you could see it
luke my boyfriend: WAIT
luke my boyfriend: COME TO MY GRANDMAS HOUSE WITH ME
ashley my girlfriend: really?
luke my boyfriend: it'll be really fun my family is so nice and they'll love you
ashley my girlfriend: i don't want to impose or anything
ashley my girlfriend: im ok here on my own you don't need to worry about me
luke my boyfriend: thats bullshit ok you're coming with me im not going to let you sit in your room alone for the rest of the day ITS CHRISTMAS
luke my boyfriend: plus youre like my gf now aren't you i want to show you off to my family lol
ashley my girlfriend: idk AM i your girlfriend
luke my boyfriend: YES YOUR MY GIRLFRIEND
ashley my girlfriend: *you're
luke my boyfriend: ok shut the fuck up im picking you up in an hour and a half pack clothes because we're spending the night see you later
ashley my girlfriend: are you sure this is ok
ashley my girlfriend: did you ask your mom
luke my boyfriend: psh lol do you think i really have to ask my mom for permission about this stuff
luke my boyfriend: ....
luke my boyfriend: of course i asked her
ashley my girlfriend: alright alright i guess ill see you later then
luke my boyfriend: im excited now i haven't seen you in almost 5 days so im going to hug you for like 2 hours
ashley my girlfriend: OMG YOURE SO CUTE
ashley my girlfriend: but leave me alone i need to get ready bc im sitting here in my bright green footie pajamas
luke my boyfriend: YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THOSE?? i thought that was a joke
ashley my girlfriend: yes i actually have them why would i joke about that see *new picture message*
luke my boyfriend: fuck me you look hot
ashley my girlfriend: yeah i don't think it's possible for anyone to look hot in footie pajamas you're just horny
luke my boyfriend: i mean...your boobs look nice
ashley my girlfriend: theyll look even nicer once im actually wearing regular clothes
luke my boyfriend: yaaasss
ashley my girlfriend: don't ever say that again
ashley my girlfriend: im going to get ready so ill see you later ok byeeee
luke my boyfriend: YAY alright ill see you soon bye
*•*•*
An hour and a half of waiting and one awkward car ride later, they finally made it to Luke's grandma's house.
Luke felt very uncomfortable.
He thought that this whole thing would be fun, but as soon as they arrived at his Grandma's house his whole family started to hound him with questions about his new girlfriend. It was kind of funny at first, but after a few minutes Luke started to freak out a little.
Luke was just beginning to get used to people at school saying hi to him in the halls, and even though this was his family, Luke didn't like the feeling of having everyone focusing on him.
Finally Luke's aunts and uncles and cousins and his grandma finally left them alone and let Luke and Ashley go sit down in the living room to wait for dinner to be served.
"Your family's nice." Ashley said once they'd had a moment to catch their breath. She sat down next to Luke on the couch and grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together.
"They're a little crazy." Luke laughed, shaking his head.
"Yeah, I guess you could say that." Ashley shrugged. "I thought they were cool."
"My uncles are both absolutely insane, I'm sorry you had to talk to them." Luke apologized, feeling embarrassed for how his family acted. He was a little overwhelmed at the moment, he didn't think that his family would react this way to him bringing a girl over for dinner. They all seemed like they were so surprised by the fact that Luke had a girlfriend now, as if they thought it would never happen.
"Are you alright?" Ashley asked, rubbing her thumb over the top of Luke's hand.
"Yeah." Luke laughed nervously. "I'm fine, I'm just not used to having my family surround me and ask a million questions like that."
"Oh." Ashley nodded. She scooted closer to Luke and leaned over, resting her head on his shoulder.
They sat there silently for a few minutes, listening to the conversations of Luke's family from the kitchen while they worked on preparing dinner. They were completely alone in the living room, but Luke almost didn't notice. He wasn't focusing on that.
"So was that your whole family? Or is there more?" Ashley questioned, finally breaking the silence between them.
"That was it." Luke said, letting out a relieved sigh. "There's my Grandma and then my mom and her two sisters and their husbands. My oldest cousin is 12, he's the one that was yelling about how pretty you are. And I have a lot of little cousins."
"Yeah, I saw a few running around." Ashley said, laughing to herself.
"One of my aunts has four kids and the other has five, so yeah, there's a lot of them." Luke chuckled. He was the oldest out of all of his cousins, which meant that Luke was usually either forgotten about or put in charge of everyone else.
"And you're an only child?" Ashley asked.
"Yep." Luke nodded. He's always wondered what it would be like to have another brother or sister, but Luke didn't really mind being alone.
Ashley sat up and turned to face Luke, looking as if she was about to say something important. But before she could speak the sound of tiny little footsteps entered the room and one of Luke's cousins ran in, heading straight for Luke.
"Lukey!" She giggled, climbing up onto Luke's lap.
"Ellie, hi!" Luke smiled, grabbing his little cousin and hugging her to his chest.
"I missed you!" Ellie said, her big blue eyes blinking up at Luke as she sat on his lap.
"I missed you too, I haven't seen you in almost a month!" Luke said and tickled Ellie's sides, making her erupt into a fit of giggles again.
"Who's this, Lukey?" Ellie asked, turning and looking at Ashley. She pouted for a moment, looking very disappointed for a moment.
"Ellie, this is my girlfriend Ashley." Luke said, introducing his cousin to Ashley, who was trying to stop herself from laughing. "Ashley, this is my cousin Ellie. She's... How old are you now, Ellie-Bean?"
"I'm five, don't you remember?" Ellie whined playfully, still giggling from being tickled a few seconds before. "You came to my birthday party!"
"She's five." Luke continued, turning back to Ashley. He dropped his voice down to a whisper, just in case any of the other cousins happened to be passing through the living room. "Ellie is my favorite cousin, but we like to keep that a secret."
"Sadie would be very upset if she found out that she wasn't Lukey's favorite." Ellie nodded, going along with what Luke was saying.
"I see." Ashley said, still laughing.
"Ellie, say hi to Ashley." Luke ordered, hoping that Ellie would stop pouting now that he'd introduced her as his 'favorite cousin'.
"Hi Ashley." Ellie said sweetly, giving Ashley a big smile.
"Hi Ellie." Ashley smiled in return, awkwardly waving in Ellie's direction.
"So you're Lukey's new girlfriend?" Ellie questioned, crawling off of Luke's lap and sitting in between him and Ashley.
"Yes I am." Ashley nodded.
"Are you guys in love?" Ellie asked, letting out some more giggles. Ellie was very in love with the idea of love at the moment and thought that life was just one big fairytale. That's why Luke liked spending so much time with Ellie, because he enjoyed the way that she thought everything was so simple.
"Oh, I don't know." Luke shrugged, answering before Ashley had time to. "We haven't been dating for very long, Ellie-Bean."
"Are you guys going to get married?" Ellie looked back at Luke, subconsciously tugging on the end of one of her pigtails.
"Maybe." Luke shrugged.
"Maybe." Ashley repeated, also shrugging. Luke was just trying to humor Ellie, because honestly he hadn't though about marriage at all and wasn't planning to do so any time soon.
"If you get married then I have to be the flower girl." Ellie demanded, turning around to look at both Luke and Ashley.
"Oh my gosh, Ellie, who else would be our flower girl?" Luke gasped, pretending that the idea of anyone but Ellie being the flower girl at his wedding was appalling.
"Well Sadie could be your flower girl, but she doesn't like to play princess with me so I don't think she'd want to dress up for your wedding." Ellie went on, getting way too excited about all of this wedding talk. She was probably going to plan Luke's wedding for him before he even had a chance to propose to someone.
"Sadie doesn't like to play princess with you? That's crazy!" Luke scoffed, grabbing Ellie again and settling her onto his lap. "That's crazy, isn't it Ashley?"
"Yeah, that's crazy." Ashley laughed, turning on the couch to look at both Luke and Ellie.
"Lukey plays princess with me, don't you Lukey?" Ellie smiled and tilted her head back to look at Luke, whose face was heating up at the mention of him playing princess with his little cousin.
"Uh, well, we've played a few times." Luke said, coughing nervously. Ellie just had to bring that up. She was only 5, but Luke believed that Ellie was smart enough to know how to embarrass him.
"Aw, Princess Lukey!" Ashley teased, reaching over and squeezing one of Luke's cheeks.
"Princess Lukey!" Ellie giggled. She turned around in Luke's lap so she was facing him and grabbed Luke's other cheek.
"Stop it." Luke whined and pouted, trying to swat the two girl's hands away from his face.
"Don't be sad, Princess Lukey." Ellie kept laughing and crawled off of Luke's lap once again, this time standing up on the floor instead of staying on the couch. "Is dinner going to be ready soon?"
"I don't know, why don't you go ask Grandma if she needs help with anything." Luke suggested. He loved Ellie, he really did, but Luke wanted a little more time alone with Ashley before they had to go have dinner with his whole family.
"Okay, fine." Ellie sighed, looking down at the floor as she began to walk out of the room. "Bye bye Lukey, bye Ashley."
"I'll see you later, Ellie-Bean." Luke called after her. "Save me a spot next to you at the table."
Ellie nodded quickly and ran the rest of the way out of the room, leaving Luke and Ashley alone once again.
"She's cute." Ashley said once Ellie was gone, scooting over and taking Luke's hand in hers again.
"Yeah, she's adorable." Luke nodded. "I was there at the hospital the night she was born, so I think that's why we've always been really close to each other. That's kinda dorky, isn't it? I'm, like, best friends with a five year old."
"No, no, it's not dorky." Ashley said, laughing softly. "You're obviously a very good cousin. I mean, you play princess with her and everything."
"Okay, I only played it with her a few times." Luke protested, making sure that Ashley knew that this wasn't a regular thing.
"I bet you look adorable in a tiara." Ashley laughed, running her fingers through Luke's hair with her free hand.
"I do, as a matter of fact." Luke said proudly, sticking his tongue out at Ashley. Ashley stuck her tongue out at him in return.
"So is this what you do every Christmas?" Ashley asked after a few minutes of them teasing each other.
"Have dinner over here? Yeah, we've been doing this for as long as I remember." Luke said, giving Ashley a small shrug. They'd done the same thing for Christmas every year for Luke's whole life, he and his mom never did anything else, they always spent Christmas here.
"What about your dad's side of the family?" Ashley questioned, her voice quiet. It was almost as if she knew that the mention of Luke's dad could possibly set any member of his family off.
"I, uh, what do you mean?" Luke asked slowly. He knew exactly what Ashley meant, he just wanted to avoid answering the question for as long as possible.
"Well, do you see your dad's side of the family for Christmas at all?" Ashley elaborated. "Like, I usually go to Florida to see my mom every year, but then when I come back I go with my dad to see his side of the family."
"Oh, well, I don't do that." Luke shrugged.
"Why?" Ashley asked.
"I don't know, I just don't." Luke said nervously, shrugging again. He would give anything to change the subject at the moment, but he felt completely frozen. Luke could barely speak, he had a lump in his throat that stopped any words from coming out.
"Luke, what happened to your dad?" Ashley finally asked the question that she had probably been wondering for a while now, and Luke didn't know how to answer her.
Luke felt bad, because this wasn't Ashley's fault at all. It wasn't her fault that she didn't know anything about Luke's father and it wasn't her fault that Luke was so sensitive about this. She had no idea, all Ashley knew was that Luke's dad wasn't in the picture, nothing more.
He didn't want to tell her, he didn't want to tell anyone. Luke never spoke about this and even though he was very close with Ashley and he trusted her and she was his girlfriend, for crying out loud, he couldn't do it. Luke couldn't bring himself to tell her, not yet.
"Excuse me." Luke said as he stood up from the couch, leaving the room as fast as he could. He just wanted to be alone for a while, he needed to think. Luke didn't care that this was at an inconvenient time or that it was Christmas, he just wanted to be by himself.
"Luke, wait." Ashley stood up and chased after him, following Luke up the stairs and to the guest room, where they were both supposed to stay that night.
"Dinner's ready!" Someone yelled from downstairs and Luke let out a huge groan. He was ready to break down and cry and now his family wanted him to come down for dinner. He couldn't do it, Luke knew that if he went down there he'd just burst into tears in front of everyone.
"Luke, come on." Ashley said quietly and grabbed Luke's hand, tugging him towards the stairs.
"No, you go ahead." Luke said, shaking his head. Tears were already brimming at the corners of his eyes, and he knew that if he stayed in front of Ashley any longer he was going to cry in front of her again. "Go ahead, I'll be down in a few minutes."
"No, you're upset, I don't want to leave you." Ashley took a step forward, naturally not wanting to give up just like that.
"I'll be down in a minute, just go." Luke insisted, backing away from her. He just wanted to be alone.
"Are you sure?" Ashley questioned. Luke knew that she would be fine going down to dinner by herself for a few minutes, she could sit next to Ellie and or talk to Liz. Luke's family was very nice, they'd keep Ashley company.
"Yeah." Luke nodded.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know that this was going to make you so upset." Ashley rambled on, looking down at the floor. "I shouldn't have asked, I'm really sorry."
"I just want to be alone for a few minutes." Luke said as he walked towards the guest room, hoping that Ashley would just agree and go downstairs.
"Okay." Ashley finally nodded and turned around and walked away.
Luke went into the guest room and shut the door behind him, immediately falling onto the bed and burying his face into the pillow. Then he started to cry. A lot. He didn't know how long he stayed in there, but he did know that it was a lot longer that a few minutes.
The more he thought about it the more upset he became. He was so angry at his father for everything that he'd done, and for leaving Luke and his mom alone to fend for themselves. It wasn't fair.
"Luke, are you alright?" There was a soft knock on the door and then Ashley slowly walked in, cautiously walking towards the bed.
"I'm fine." Luke said, sitting up. He quickly wiped off his cheeks, trying to get rid of any evidence of him crying.
"Did you fall asleep?" Ashley took a seat next to him on the bed, still keeping her distance.
"Yeah, I think I did." Luke nodded.
"Everyone was asking where you were, I just said that you weren't feeling very good so you came up here to rest for a while." Ashley informed him, playing with the ends of her hair.
"Thanks." Luke said, giving Ashley a very small smile.
"There's leftovers downstairs if you're hungry." She said quietly. Luke hated the way she was acting, he wished that everything could just be normal again and that this topic was never brought up, but it was too late for that now.
"I'm not." Luke said quickly, shaking his head. "I feel like if I eat something I'll just throw up."
"I'm sorry." Ashley sighed, a sad expression on her face.
"This isn't your fault." Luke shook his head and sighed as well. He didn't want Ashley to feel responsible for the way that Luke got so upset, because she didn't know. It wasn't her fault.
"I know, but I shouldn't have brought it up. I knew that it was a touchy subject for you, but I was just curious." Ashley admitted, still avoiding making eye contact with Luke.
"I know." Luke nodded. "I should have told you a long time ago. You should know about this."
"No, you don't need to tell me anything. It doesn't matter, Luke, if you don't want to talk about this then we don't need to." Ashley quickly shook her head, sitting up straight. She grabbed both of Luke's hands in hers again, as if that would stop him from talking.
Luke was silent for a long time, arguing with himself over whether or not it was a good idea for him to finally tell Ashley about this. He laid back on the bed and pulled Ashley down with him, wrapping his arms around her so she had her head resting on his chest.
"My mom got pregnant with me when she was 18 and her boyfriend, my father, didn't want me." He began, but was quickly stopped.
"Luke - " Ashley started.
"No, I want to tell you. I've never told anyone about him before and I want you to be the first person I talk about this with." Luke insisted. This was something that he really wanted to do, he wanted Ashley to know.
"Okay." Ashley said softly and then got quiet, waiting for Luke to continue his story.
"My father didn't want me, and everyone knew it, but for some reason he stayed with my mom. So she had me and he still stayed and everything was fine, she thought that it was going to work out. He stayed until I was 7, isn't that crazy? He didn't even want me and he stayed until I was 7. It seemed like it was all going to work out." He explained.
Luke tried to keep things brief, partly because he didn't want to bore Ashley with all of the details and also because he knew that he'd just start to cry again if he thought about it too much.
"Yeah." Ashley nodded again.
"When I was 4 he started drinking, and everyone knows that nothing good ever comes from that. When he would drink he would get angry, and he would take it out on me." Luke continued. He hated this part. It seemed to cliche and overused, like every sappy movie he'd ever seen. But that was Luke's life, and he couldn't help it. "He never wanted me, he never liked me, so it made sense that he pushed me around whenever he got the chance."
Luke paused for a second to see if Ashley was going to say anything, but she didn't. She stayed quiet, so Luke began speaking again.
"It went on for 3 years, my mom never knew about it. She found out when I was 8 and that asshole was already long gone. I was too scared to tell her about it before, and that's why I waited." Luke said, swallowing hard.
He hated this part too, he hated the fact that he never had enough courage to tell his mom what was going on while it was happening. Things might have worked out better if Luke had just spoken up.
"What about the letters? Those are from him, aren't they?" Ashley asked quietly when Luke didn't say anything for a few minutes, taking this opportunity to ask about the mysterious letters.
"He started sending me them after I turned 15. I guess he called my mom and asked if we could talk, but she said no and now he thinks that he'll be able to get through to me with the letters. I only read one, and that was the first one he sent." Luke let out a big sigh.
His biggest fear was that the letters were going to say something that upset him even more. Maybe Luke's father was in jail now, maybe he lived in some foreign country, maybe he had a new family that he actually wanted. Luke didn't want to know, so he didn't read the letters.
"Your mom wants you to read them, doesn't she?" Ashley asked.
"She just wants me to know that he's sorry. He told her that he was sorry and I'm assuming that he says it in every letter he sends too." Luke said. He tried to laugh a little but it didn't really work. "She doesn't forgive him for what he did and she doesn't want me to forgive him either, she just wants me to know that he feels like shit for it."
Ashley stayed silent again, so Luke just kept going.
"And he should, he should feel like shit for smacking around a little kid for no reason. I never did anything wrong, I was a good kid. I just wanted a dad, you know? Why couldn't he just be a good dad?" He said, his voice finally cracking as he let a few tears slip out of his eyes.
"Luke, I'm so sorry." Ashley whispered.
"It's so pathetic, isn't it?" Luke scoffed, ignoring Ashley's apology. "This type of stuff is supposed to happen in movies, not real life."
"I know, that's the scary part." Ashley said. She was right, it was scary. Luke would never even imagine someone ever going through something like this if he hadn't gone through it himself. He only knew that there were problems like this im the world because of his own experiences.
"God, I hate him so much." Luke mumbled, rubbing at his eyes. Tears were coming more quickly now, and Luke knew that it was no use to try and hide them.
"You should." Ashley nodded.
"I hate him so much." Luke said, beginning to cry even harder. He rolled over and buried his face in the crook of Ashley's neck, trying to hide his face as he sobbed. "I hate him, I hate him, I hate him so fucking much."
Again, Luke lost track of time. He sat there and cried into Ashley's shoulder until he felt like he couldn't cry anymore, and she just held him tightly, letting him take all the time he needed. Even then he still felt awful. He just didn't understand why something like this had to happen to him, and even though it occurred years ago it still made Luke so upset. He didn't know what he'd ever done to deserve this.
"I'm glad that you told me." Ashley was the first to speak after a very long silence. Luke had calmed down by now and was just staring at the wall in front of him, trying not to get himself all worked up shown.
"I'm glad that I told you too." He nodded.
"I know that this is a really hard topic for you and I'm sorry for asking about it in the first place. I didn't mean to upset you." Ashley apologized once more, obviously feeling very bad about this. Again, it wasn't her fault, Luke didn't blame her.
"I know, and I know that you didn't mean to upset me. You had no idea about any of this, I can't blame you for not knowing." Luke assured her, not wanting Ashley to beat herself up about this.
Ashley just nodded and quickly kissed Luke on the cheek again before cuddling back into his side, her hand mindlessly running up and down his chest.
"You're still my best friend. Even though you're my girlfriend now, you're still my best friend." Luke said, breaking the silence again. "I tell you things that I've never told anyone else. You're my best friend."
"You're my best friend too." Ashley nodded. "You know things about me that not even people that I've known for my whole life know."
"Ashley?" Luke whispered.
"Yeah?" She whispered back, tracing patterns across Luke's chest with her index finger.
"Would it be totally crazy if I said that I think I'm falling in love with you?" He asked quietly, not even realizing what he was saying.
"No, because I feel the same way."
-
this was kinda a filler kinda not because I talked about important stuff but yeah
I hope this is good because I rushed to finish it even though I had A TON of time to update I was just sick and lazy lol