"Jay! Jaden! Please wake up!" I heard along with a ringing in my ears. I woke up from a sharp stinging feeling in my cheek. I took a deep breath in since the last thing remembered was not being able to breath. I sat up and immediately felt arms around me, I flinched at first then looked over to see Avani. "Oh my god thank you for not dying." She said relieved. I got up feeling really dizzy and put on my sweatpants. I grabbed Avani's hand and ran out of the house passing Thomas who was sitting in the living room.
We got in her car and Thomas walked out but Avani started the car and drove off. I leaned forward since it stung to lean back. "Umm, what just happened?" I jumped when I heard that from the backseat. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." Josh said apologetically. "Jaden your neck!" Avani said shocked. "His back is worse." Josh added. "Jaden what happened to your sides?" Avani asked. "Alright enough, stop pointing shit out. I get it." I said slightly annoyed but just trying to hide my fear.
We got to Avani's house and went upstairs to the bathroom. Josh sat on the lid of the toilet and I stood with my hands on the counter while Avani got the first aid kit. She poured disinfectant on the cuts and I gripped the counter, "Fuck!" I yelled as she wiped them off and we went to her room. "I didn't realize you were gonna be here." I said to Josh walking into her room. "I'm sorry that came out rude, i'm not mad about it I just wasn't expecting it." I said anxiously. "It's okay Jaden, I understood." He said sitting in her desk chair.
"I'm sorry to both of y'all but I have had a really long day and Thomas wouldn't let me sleep so i'm taking a nap." I said walking by Vani kissing the top of her head. I went and laid down on her bed on my stomach. I tried to fall asleep but I can't sleep alone unless I have completely exhausted myself. I laid there and tried to fall asleep. "I'm going to get food. You stay here with him, I already know what what he gets." She said to Josh I assume.
I continued to try and fall asleep with no luck. "Hey Josh?" I said quietly. "Yeah, you need something?" He asked looking over. "I'm sorry if this is weird and it's fine if you say no but I can't sleep alone." I said quietly and embarrassed. He nodded and walked over to the bed. He laid down and put his arm around me and I put my arms around his waist with my head on his chest. He started playing with my hair and I started thinking. I wonder if this would make Anthony angry. I don't mean it in an intimate way, I just can't sleep alone. Would it make Thomas mad? Whats he going to do next time I see him? I kept these thoughts circulating until I fell asleep.
"I don't know what happened I just know he was hurt and he was at Thomas's all day." I heard making me wake up. "What are you doing?" I asked seeing Avani pointing her camera at my back and sides. I immediately sat up and tried to cover myself up with my arms making sure at least my scar was covered up. "I promise I wasn't videoing you, Anthony wanted to see how bad your back was." Avani responded quickly.
"Still would have appreciated you asking." I said before looking at her phone to see Anthony on FaceTime. "Hey baby, can you tell me what happened?" Anthony said through the phone. "No... nothing happened, I fell into the mirror." I can't tell if he can tell that i'm lying. I just don't want Thomas to be in trouble. I probably can't hang here much longer without them figuring it out. I went to the bathroom and started texting Thomas.
Tommy❤️
Promise me if I come back
you won't hurt me again.
I promise... I'm so sorry
baby. I don't know why I
did it. I love you so much.
Come get me then.
And bring a sweatshirt.
Okay, be there soon.❤️
I came out of the bathroom when Thomas said he was here. "I got to go, thank you for coming to get me. And thank you for helping me sleep." I said walking out of the room. I heard them get up and come after me so I sped up going down the stairs and out the door. "Jaden where are you going?" I heard Avani yell after me. I just got in Thomas's car and waved. He gave me the sweatshirt and put it on as he drove away.
"Why are you sitting like that?" Thomas asked me seeing me not sitting all the way back. "My back is all cut up." I said looking down. "Baby i'm so sorry, I love you so much. I never should have hurt you. I hate myself for it." He said getting choked up. "Please don't say you hate yourself. I know you didn't mean all that stuff, i'm sure you're just having a bad day." I said grabbing the hand he had hanging off the middle console.
We got to his house and went up to his room. He laid on the bed, "We can do anything you want." He said sincerely. I replied quietly, "Can we cuddle?" He smiled and opened his arms saying, "Come here baby." He put on something on netflix and heard his phone ring. He answered what looked like a Facetime call. "Did you hurt Jaden?!" I heard Anthony's worried and angry voice through the phone.
I pretended to be asleep and Thomas responded. "I would never hurt him. Why would you think that?" Anthony looked skeptical and said, "Because Avani showed me his back, face, neck, and sides. She had reason to believe you may have made him have sex with you." My stomach dropped when he said that. "It hurts that you think I would do that Anthony." Thomas said stalling probably so he could come up with a story.
"Okay then tell me what happened to him." Anthony said still seeming angry. "I didn't tell you cause Jaden didn't want me to upset you and ruin your trip. He attempted again." Did I hear that correctly? It's one thing to lie, but i've been doing so well with taking my meds and not cutting and now Anthony thinks thats all gone. "W-what?" Anthony asked as I could hear his anger be replaced with fear and sadness.
"He tried to hang himself in my bathroom. I went in there to make sure he was okay since he had been in there a while and I grabbed his sides to lift him up to let him breathe for a second. After I got him down I set him on his feet and I think the blood rushed to his head so he passed out. When he fell he went into the mirror then hit his face on the floor. I ran out to get Avani and she went to take care of him while I sat down cause I was just overwhelmed by what happened. After he woke up he ran out went to Avani's but texted me saying he just left cause he was embarrassed. He's back here now and asleep. We talked about it a little bit but he just wanted to sleep." Thomas spilled this elaborate lie. It kind of scared me that he came up with such a big lie so quickly.
"Baby i'm so sorry I accused you of doing anything like that. We should all have a talk when I get back cause he's obviously been hiding this from us. I thought he was getting better but I guess he just got better at hiding it." Anthony said sounding so sad. "Its okay, I understand why it looked that way. And i've noticed he has been acting weird recently maybe he has just gotten worse." Thomas continued lying. "I know you said he is sleeping but can I see him?" Anthony asked. They talked a little more before they got off the phone.
Thomas got out of bed and I opened my eyes slightly to see where he was going. He walked over to my bag and grabbed it before walking into the bathroom. I got up cause he has no reason to have my bag. I put my ear to the door and could only hear water running. I decided to just open the door and when I did I saw him dumping my medication into the sink. "What are you doing?!" I went to grab the rest of them but he pushed my hand away.
"Do me and Anthony not make you happy? You need drugs to make you happy?" He asked emptying the next bottle. "When you're mentally ill and have an anxiety disorder, yes." I responded trying reach for them again. "Stop, you don't need these." He read the bottle. "What do you need Xanax for? Thats something you told me you took to get high." He said pouring them out. "Well I stopped using them to get high and now they are prescribed to me for when I have panic attacks or can't calm down. Thomas please! I need those!" I responded.
"What the fuck is Risperidone?" He asked me while opening the bottle. "It treats bipolar disorder. Please give them to me!" I pleaded as he dumped them out. He's already dumped out both of those, my medication that I take to reduce my anxiety in general and my insomnia medicine. He began reading the last bottle. "Paroxetine...take twice daily to treat post traumatic stress disorder." He started opening it. I grabbed his arm before he dumped it out and said, "Thomas please, these are important. Please can we talk about this." He pushed me back into the wall and poured them out. "You don't need them, they don't do anything. You've just convinced yourself that they make you feel better when you just got better on your own." He said throwing the bottles away and walking out. I sat there trying keep myself calm cause I know I don't have long, i start withdrawals a few hours after missing a dose. I walked out of the bathroom and saw Thomas watching tv completely unbothered.
"I'm not mad at you, cause I don't think you understand what you've done. I just want to go to sleep." I said thinking it was probably best to get sleep before I can't anymore. I went and laid down with Thomas despite how upset I was with him I did need him to sleep. I was supposed to take my night time dose of all of those except the Xanax in about twenty minutes. I finally fell asleep after laying there for about an hour just thinking about how bad this was going to be.
I was shaken awake by Thomas. "Babe your shaking and sweating, like a lot." I saw the digital clock by his bed reading 5am. He started pulling the sweatshirt I was wearing off but I pulled it back down. "Stop i'm freezing." I said pulling the blankets up. "But you've sweated through the sweatshirt Jay." He said pulling at the blanket. I sat up feeling suddenly dizzy and then really nauseous. I got up holding onto the wall got to the bathroom throwing up and collapsing next to the toilet. I kept throwing up until I was dry heaving and crying. I was shaking but i couldn't tell if it was shivering or just shaking. Thomas walked in and looked at me. When I looked at him I couldn't focus my eyes and everything was swaying. He said something but it seemed like another language, like I heard him but I couldn't comprehend what he was saying. "W-what?" I said blinking hard trying to focus. "Are you on something" I heard him in a very quiet echo like he was yelling to me from the other side of a tunnel. I tried to answer him saying 'no of course not' but all that came out was a string of nonsense. My stomach started cramping and all my muscles ached.
Thomas walked out then Jeremy walked in. When he got closer I screamed and ran to the closet connected to the bathroom and slammed the door putting my back against it. "Jaden open the door!" Jeremy yelled. "No leave me alone! Thomas help!" I cried out. Suddenly Jeremy was in the closet with me making me scream again and run out. I hit Thomas in the process of running out but ran into his room to get away from Jeremy. I backed into a corner, I grabbed the pocket knife off the nightstand. "Get away from me Jeremy! Leave!" I yelled as he walked closer. "Stop I will use this! You think I won't?!" I yelled and cut my arm. "Jaden stop!" He yelled walking closer.
He knocked the knife out of my hand and pushed me down handcuffing me to the bedframe. "No please! Thomas please help me!" I screamed and cried. I pulled at the handcuffs and kept screaming and crying. I yelled for Thomas but he didn't come. "Someone please help!" I was hit really hard across the face and everything faded to black.