I was sitting on the edge of the bed when Loran entered our room, looking slightly frustrated. "They're finally both asleep." He sighed and sat next to me.
I didn't say anything but lay my head on his shoulder.
"Hey," He tipped my chin up to look at him. "What's the matter?"
"I'm just worried." I ran a hand through my hair and sat back up.
"She'll be okay, Dalton." He scooted behind me, beginning to massage my shoulders, his hands instantly kneading out the knots from stress. "She's just as strong as her mother."
I blushed at being called 'mother.' "I'm not that strong."
"Of course you are. Not many people can go through what you did and keep their baby, as well as be able to look them in the face." He placed a kiss to the top of my spine and I could feel the tingling in my toes.
"I need a distraction." I finally said.
"Mm..." He hummed, thinking. "...we could watch movies?"
"No. That's hardly a distraction." I craned my neck to look at him. "I need something that'll make me forget...even if only for a while..."
"I don't know." He admitted and I sighed, knowing he wasn't going to catch on.
"Loran," By now, I'd completely turned to face him. "I'm want something far more special. Far more intimate."
Now it was his turn to blush, his cheeks falling a deep red shade. "Dalton, are you talking about...sex?"
"Not sex." I corrected. "Love making."
There was a difference, sex was thoughtless and careless and carried out only to fill your own needs. Love making was so much more. It was thoughtful and caring, and only filled with desires of the other person. It was so much more passion. I didn't believe in sex, I believed in love making.
And I only wanted to experience that special feeling with Loran.
"Dalton, that's big – that's huge." He spoke with doubt in his voice.
"I wouldn't be saying it if I didn't feel it, Loran, you know that."
"I know, Dal, but it's something so complex and-"
"You don't want to?"
"Don't think that. I've wanted you for so long, long before any of that happened, Dalton. I just don't want you to regret this because you aren't ready."
I had no idea he'd felt that way for so long... "I won't regret this." I said, my voice full of confidence. "I'm ready and there isn't anyone else I could ever imagine giving myself to."
"Then we're gonna take this slow," He said and pulled his shirt up and off over his head, throwing it somewhere to the floor. "And if you can't do it, then we'll stop."
I nodded and he crawled to the end of the bed, motioning for me to join him. In the six, close to seven, years we'd been together, Loran had no shame in showing his body off. Particularly before and after showers. I'd never reciprocated the action though. The most he's skin in my bare chest, never lower than below the belt.
And he respected that.
"Take off your shirt and pants." I hesitated but did as he instructed. My clothing joined his, and now we were both just in our underwear. "Now, come here."
We switched places, I laid on my back on the bed and he laid over me. He kissed me softly, his tongue sweeping over my bottom lip for entrance. I let him in, our tongues dancing against one another and gasped loudly, breaking the kiss as his hips rocked against mine. "Is that okay?"
"Yes." I hesitated, feeling him pressing against my thigh which made me nervous.
"Good." He smiled and rocked his hips more, earning more moans from me which were covered by his lips as he kissed me harder, rougher.
His lips left my bruised ones and traveled down my throat, his tongue tracing my collar bones before he went to my nipples. He ran his hands over them first, pinching them slightly between his thumbs and forefingers before letting his tongue dance over one and then the other. He licked the hardened bead and then met my eyes, slowly blowing his hot breath on it, making me shiver.
"There we go." He smirked as I writhed beneath him. I was straining against my boxers, now.
He left my nipples, instead, kissing down a path down my stomach, stopping once he reached the waistline of my underwear. He looked up at me, as if asking for permission and I nodded, giving it to him.
Loran hesitated now, as if trying to decide what to do. He palmed me through the material first and I arched my back just at his clothed touch. He was smiling as he kissed my inner thighs, and then brought his mouth to my still covered part. He traced it with his lips and ran his tongue along it, grazing it slightly, not enough to cause pain, but enough to tell my part that he was there.
I held my breathe as he hooked his thumbs in the waistband and pulled them down, exposing me. My face became heated as my part smacked my lower belly and I knew he was taking every inch of me in.
"You really are beautiful, Dalton." He smiled, his fingers gingerly moving over my thighs as his lips came to brush across mine once again.
And then he did the unthinkable.
He kissed it.
I froze, moaning as I could literally feel all of the blood traveling south. He grinned, obviously pleased with himself, and licked up the side of my shaft, bringing his lips around the head and proceeded to suck me slowly, his eyes never leaving mine, once.
I huffed, not knowing what to do with myself. My body felt like it was on fire. I'd never felt this way. Not even self-pleasure from my hand when I was sixteen and younger ever made me feel this way. I finally decided to grab his hair, and lightly tug, not forcing but guiding, and he took me even deeper. I gasped, my back arching and he came back up, kissing me hard while still stroking me.
"you trust me, right?" He gave my hips attention, leaving a large, dark hickey on each side.
"Nng..." Was my response, it was all too good but I knew my release was going to be close. I wasn't exactly sure how close but I knew it was on the rise. It'd be soon.
Too soon.
Loran licked down my shaft again before climbing off the bed and going to the nightstand on his side of the bed. He pulled something out and came back.
"What's that?" I hesitated, uncertainty now coming to the surface.
"Lube." He flashed me the unopened bottle, plastic still sealing the cap on.
"Why do you have that?" Now I was even more nervous.
He gave me a soft look and shrugged, "I do occasionally like to get off every once in a while."
I bit my lips. He'd never cheat on me. "Okay." I nodded.
He crawled back into the bed, lube in hand but didn't use it yet. He settled himself in between my legs and grabbed the lube, peeling the plastic off and snapping open the cap. Oh God. What was he going to do? He wouldn't just shove it in me, would he? No...no he was smarter than that.
I flinched as I felt the lube hit my part and Loran laughed lightly. "It's kinda cold..." he said, sheepishly and then poured it on his own. He began stroking me again, and his other hand was stroking himself.
I'd be lying if I said that watching him pleasure himself didn't turn me on, because it did. He took both of our parts into his hands and stroked us together. And my body burned hotter than it ever had, now. To feel his skin against mine in such a way.
"Loran..." My back began to arch more and more. The pleasure he was giving me mixed with listening to him moan and the looks on his face; his head thrown back and his eyes closed, his bottom lip caught between his teeth, it was all too much.
"Lo-Loran...!" I suddenly felt lightheaded as my body spasmed, my part exploding, covering my stomach. I fell back on the bed, seeing stars. My first orgasm in nearly seven years, and it ripped through me, tore me apart.
"You taste magnificent." He ducked his head, his tongue flicking across where my semen now doused my stomach and chest. He kissed my lips once, twice, three times before nuzzling my cheek with his. "Do you want to keep going?"
"I want you," I blurted. "I want you now, Loran."
"Completely sure?" He bit his lips.
"Yes." It was the complete truth. I wanted nothing more in this moment than to be joined with him.
He poured my lube on to his fingers. "I've got to get you ready, alright?"
"It's gonna make it hurt less, right?"
"It'll still hurt, but less, yes."
"Okay." I nodded and looked up at the ceiling.
He leaned down to kiss my sac and stroke himself to keep hard at first, but I think that was an excuse so I could have a few more minutes to keep myself calm about the reality that we were in fact about to make love.
I grasped the sheets in embarrassment as something warm and wet moved against me.
His tongue.
I couldn't tell if I liked it, the sensation odd and awkward but the feeling was different, good. Maybe I did like it.
"I'm gonna use a finger, now." He pulled back, replacing his tongue with his index finger, making me tense up. "Relax." He soothed, "or else I can't make you feel good."
It took a few minutes, Loran waiting patiently, before I could relax. "Go ahead."
"It'll be good, I promise." He moved a single finger around my entrance first and then slid it in til just barely the first knuckle, I could have screamed. I fisted the pillow and squeezed my eyes shut as he worked it in the rest of the way.
Tears welled in my eyes, "It really hurts."
"I'm sorry, I wish it didn't have to." He apologized. "But with pain, comes pleasure." I don't know how he managed it, and I don't even think he knows how he managed it, but he drove a second finger inside of me, waiting a few minutes to move them, earning groans from me.
Loran kissed my sac again and then licked up my shaft again, he placed kisses all along the top, his fingers still moving inside me.
I moaned as he wrapped his lips around me, sucking me deep into his throat again. "I need you now, Loran." I groaned. "please."
I didn't want to feel his fingers. I wanted to feel him.
He pulled his fingers back, a feeling that left me feeling empty, and I shivered.
He used more lube to stroke his length until it was completely hard, and at a size I feared I wouldn't be able to take. Loran pulled me into his lap and used some more lube for my entrance.
"Let me know if it becomes too much." And he pushed it all inside of me at once, straight to the hilt.
"D-Dalton—
"Shh," I hissed. "Don't move. Don't say a word."
It was like I'd fell and landed on my ass bone directly. It sent sharp shocks up my spine and formed a dull headache when I test shuffled my hips.
Once the majority of the pain passed, I gasped. "You can move now, just be careful."
He nodded and hugged me closer to him. "Damn, Dalton, you're so fu-fucking tight." He moaned, pulling out half way and then pushing back in. "Don't know how much longer I can go."
His lips attacked mine in a heartbeat, his tongue demanded dominance. In between throaty moans and breathless pants, he reached in between us to stroke my growing erection.
"Fuck, Loran."
"I'm gonna fucking lose it." He sounded so lost, so desperate. His thrusts were becoming harder but sloppier until he hugged me as tight as he could and I felt his part tense as the the rest of his body shook.
He gave himself a moment to recover before letting me fall back on the bed, him falling with me and he slowly pulled out, causing me to groan. I hated the feeling of being empty when I was just so full.
"I wish that'd been my first." He admitted, laying next to me.
"I'm glad it was mine." I yawned, my body was now exhausted and aching but I'm happy the reason behind it was Loran, giving me not just physical love but emotional.
"I love you so much." He kissed my forehead.
"I love you so much, more." And I fell asleep looking into those Lavender-Gray eyes.