TW: abuse
It's been two days since Alex slapped me, I haven't been able to sleep or eat properly since it happened. I guess the shock is still there? I don't know. I don't think I'll ever forget it to be honest.
"Baby I'm going to leave for work" she shouts "Love you Stella"
"Love you too have a good day" I smile because this means I can facetime Billie.
I call Billie and she instantly answers, we have been doing this every day now at the same time because that's when we can talk, if it wasn't for Alex. Billie seems to be doing good now she told me that she had been smoking a blunt every other day because she was hurt over something but she promised me to stop and she has. She wouldn't tell me why she was hurt though but I guess it has something to do with me and Alex.
"Hello princessssssssss" she drags it out in her annoying but cute baby voice.
"Hello Billllllllllllllll" i drag out in a weird voice that makes her laugh.
I keep changing position to what seems like ever 2 seconds, anywhere I go doesn't seem comfy and it's actually starting to annoy me.
"Woah did she go hard on you" she gives a nervous laugh.
"What omg no" I burst out laughing "we haven't fucked yet we are still taking it slow" Billie seems to ease off at that "and for your information i'm the one who goes hard on her" i jokingly wink at her
To my surprise she blushes "You don't seem the hard to go on type Stella"
"Wow that's rude, YOU probably don't even go hard" i tease
Billie gives me a look as if she's worried she'll regret what she says next. "You wanna test that theory out?" she bites her lip seductively as she says it.
I blush even though I know she's joking I decide to play along. "Bil make me scream" my voice turning into a deep seductive tone.
She smiles and blushes really fucking hard and at this point I'm starting to think she's not joking.
"WHAT THE FUCK" i hear Alex scream as she blasts into the room.
I quickly end the call and sit there frightened for what's about to happen.
"Y-you're supposed to be at work baby"
"don't BABY me you CHEATING fucking SLUT, i came to grab my work card and you, you're fucking cheating on me with fucking Billie" she screams
"I'm not oh my god i swear on my life i wasn't we were joking about i only want to fuck you" i lie at that "i don't want to fuck her" lies again "i was just checking on up her you know we always used to joke about fucking each other please believe me-"
She cuts me off "you swear on your life aye? well let's see how much you swear then" i don't have time to respond as she charges at me and swings a fist at my jaw. I yelp in pain and fall the ground to which she responds with repeatedly kicking my back, arms and legs. I don't know how long it lasts for but it feels like a life time before she spits "Leave this house you're dead" she takes my phone and leaves for work.
I lay there silent, not even able to shed a tear I just feel numb. I cant think straight about what happened, I don't want to.
...
Soon enough Alex comes home from work to find me in the bedroom still on the floor. I haven't moved. Didn't want to. It hurt to much and I am still so fucking frightened.
"Baby oh my god what happened?"
What the fuck does she mean WHAT HAPPENED? you did this what the fuck you know you did this don't fucking act dumb because you realise what you fucking did.
She picks me up and places me on the bed. "I'm sorry" she kisses me "I love you"
"I know" I whimper and start to cry, why cry now Stella? you had all day to cry but you didn't so why now?
"Come on get ready"
"What" Suddenly able to talk and have awareness of what's going on.
"I'm taking you shopping, as an apology i love you baby so much i didn't mean to hurt you"
....
So my psycho girlfriend believes the only way to apologise is to buy her way out of it. I mean ayy free clothes for me. We go into a few shops I pick out some dresses which Alex shouts that I can't have them because they are too revealing and she would feel jealous and upset is others got to see my body. So instead I'm getting a new gucci purse and nike x off white air force 1's, Alex isn't even rich so I have no idea where this money has come from but I don't dare to ask.
We walk out the shop and my eyes fly over to see Billie's perfectly crystal blue eyes that I always get lost in. Alex quickly notices and pulls me in to hold me i flinch at her touch (and because my back is fucked) and force myself to relax hoping she doesn't notice. It must've worked because she didn't say anything, but Billie, she did, she gave me a concerned look. I cant even respond since I'm being dragged away to the car.
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You don't understand how bad I have wanted to finally write this part. I know abuse is a really tough topic but I want to spread awareness of it because unfortunately so many people have to go through it, I personally haven't but I have witnessed it and have close mates have it so yes I don't and hopefully won't ever understand how it feels but I know more than I should.