"This is reality"
March 1998, 6 months later
Of course, Dexter could only interfere so much before the Carrows caught onto what he was doing. As dimwitted as they seemed, in their black-and-white views of who deserved respect, they were not as stupid as they appeared.
By the time Christmas break loomed over the heads of the students, the Carrows had emerged from their classrooms and patrolled the corridors. Their terror rained down on every student now, whether they had classes with them or not. And Amycus, still reeling from being denied Mica's detention at the start of the year, tailed her after issuing the last detention of term.
He observed her entering the astronomy tower and, soon enough, he was informed that the girl would be serving detention with Professor Rier.
Snape had forbidden them from interfering with Professors, which made McGonagall's attempts at keeping the students as far from them as possible particularly infuriating. Particularly now that she often stalked Circi at a distance in her animagus form.
Initially, Snape had warned Dexter against favouring students and protecting them from the Carrows. He left the office feigning a sheepish demeanour in front of the Carrows yet proceeded to remove students from detention throughout Christmas and the New Year, sacrificing his time with his family.
But, despite his attempts, he was forced to back off after being cornered and threatened in Hogsmeade and, again, in his own classroom.
Circi had been allowed to stay at Hogwarts throughout Christmas. She had been told by Draco that she wasn't needed but, in a letter conspicuously signed with her father's initials and absent of a return address, she was warned from attempting to follow Draco home and that Hogwarts was the safest place for her... she was also cautioned against spending too much time with Mica and Dexter.
Of course, she would never heed her father's warnings much. By February she had seen Mica and Leslie subject to the cruciatus curse and humiliated in front of the class.
Lucius heard of her disobedience in two separate letters that had arrived at the exact same time. The first was from Circi, complaining about their actions and demanding he do something- anything- to make them stop. She urged him to speak to Snape, whom she expected would protect her more than any others, and fruitlessly offered that he petitioned to the Dark Lord himself. It was a useless idea, a death wish to even entertain, but she was desperate and so was he once he read the second letter signed by Alecto Carrow.
He was sitting behind his dark wood desk in Malfoy Manor, rocking absently in his chair and twisting his newly fixed cane on the ground. It was late at night, nearing midnight, and the only light in the room was a cord-pull lamp atop the desk under which the letters sat.
He was dressed in a grey robe and slippers as he often did in the evenings, his hair tied low at the back of his neck. No doubt Narcissa would be down soon to coax him to sleep but he couldn't take his focus from the letters. It was clear the Carrows were at their wits ends, furious at the lack of freedom they had on the one student at Hogwarts whose suffering the Dark Lord would have relished a year ago.
They were targeting Circi still because they knew Lucius was weak, powerless, he could do nothing to favour his daughter from where he sat. His position on the school board helped elect Snape as Headmaster and ensure Draco was a prefect. They were fine. But Circi, a helpless fifteen year old trying to fight a battle she had no hopes of winning, would keep resisting and fighting for her friends until she too ended up like them. The Carrows knew the Dark Lord would not appreciate their deception from his orders, they knew they would make an enemy of the Malfoys when they were squating in their home. But their patience wouldn't last.
There was only one thing Lucius could do in his power that would protect Circi and, he hoped, appease the Carrows.
*
"That- that toad!" Circi clenched her fists, pacing on the grass in front of Leslie, Mica, Myrna and Rhiannon.
The four of them watched as she crossed them, stopping occasionally to glare at the letter in her hand before pacing again. Mica pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Circ," she grumbled, "babe, you're making me dizzy!" Circi stopped pacing and looked down at Mica who was scrunching her face in pain. Dropping to her knees, her shoulders slumped.
"He's bringing me home." She looked between her friends, each of them looking sympathetic and she hated it.
"Did he say why?" Rhiannon asked, accepting the letter as a response to her question. It read:
Circi,
Narcissa will be waiting for you and Draco on Platform 9 ¾ next week. Be punctual.
Father.
"Well, that's festive." She tried to crack a smile but no one reciprocated, Leslie pursed his lips and reached across Mica and Myrna to take the letter. As everyone read the letter, Circi spread her knees and sunk further onto the ground.
"He doesn't understand," Circi mumbled. She looked down at Mica, "I'm going to miss your birthday!"
Mica looked up from her hand and placed her hand on the grass between them. "He's concerned about your safety, Circ, so are we." She tried to smile when Circi met her gaze but it was obvious that it put a strain on her headache. For a moment, Circi was about to argue back with her- question how she could possibly be on her father's side in all of this but, as she held the eye contact a little longer, it was all starting to sink in.
"Are you okay?" Circi asked, leaning forward to cradle Mica's hands.
"I'm okay," Mica told her, her voice faltering.
"You're not. I'll take you to Madame Pomfrey." Clinging to Mica as they stood up, Circi snatched the letter back from Leslie and stuffed it in her pocket with a disregard for its condition. "See you later," she told the others before ushering Mica into the castle.
They were silent all the way to the hospital wing and Circi generously offered out a glare to whoever walked too close or spoke too loud.
Madame Pomfrey provided Mica with some pain relief for her headache and allowed them to sit in her office for some silence while the effects kicked in.
Mica lay on the small red couch, her head propped up by a pillow, and shut her eyes against the light coming through the window. Circi stood by the door, watching her chest rise and fall unevenly and her eyes squeeze tightly shut. Her head rocked from side to side as she tried to wait out the medicine. Pursing her lips, Circi crossed the room and pulled the sheer drape over the window and the dim light let Mica relax slightly.
Sitting on the floor in front of the couch, Circi rested her head back against the arm where Mica's head was resting and closed her eyes as well. She listened to Mica breathing and opened her eyes when she heard her friend shifting.
Mica's face was right next to hers when she turned to see what was happening.
She was on her stomach, chin resting on her bare arm and stray strands of blonde hair falling loosely from her baggy ponytail to hang past her face. She smiled when Circi looked up, her brown eyes shimmering with something Circi hadn't seen since new year's eve in their fourth year.
"Thank you," she said faintly, her breath brushing over Circi's face. Circi smiled.
"You're my best friend," Circi shook her head slightly, as though that much was obvious. Of course she'd know when her best friend was in pain, of course she was going to help. Mica chuckled and shook her head,
"Oh Circ," she said, giggling as Circi's eyebrows lowered, "you know we're more than friends by now."
Of course she knew, how could she not know. But to hear it said out loud, and by Mica of all people, made her heart leap. Carmen had not helped when she asked about Mica, if anything she was forced to question herself. Her feelings, her thoughts, her sexuality. She'd never considered that she could like girls. And, when she met Mica's eyes, she had to tear herself away so she wouldn't get lost in those eyes.
Those eyes, she never noticed how much she adored them or how much she could get lost in them. They were warm, melted wax prepared to seal a letter, singed leaves on a dry summer day, hot chocolate on a winter evening. They were necessary and simple and Mica's... and she didn't want to look away but she did.
Carmen said she only asked about girls but, in reality, she'd always asked about Mica.
Why do you think that is?
Well, it all seemed obvious now.
Circi was pulled from her thoughts when she felt warmth spread across her cheek. She looked up as Mica pulled away, flushing red already before she fully processed that the girl had kissed her on the cheek.
"Why did you- I, uh, I-"
Biting her lip and laughing quietly at how red Circi's cheeks had become, Mica rested her chin on her arm once again. The Slytherin stared into space, her mouth opening and closing silently, a thousand words in her hazel eyes. She looked up again and Mica tilted her head.
"You okay?" Mica asks, a giggle in her voice. Circi nodded slowly and touched her own cheek gently.
"Can you-" Her voice catches and she clears her throat, "can you do that again?"
Nodding, Mica leans in and brushes her lips against Circi's cheek again. This time, she lingered, closing her eyes as Circi sighed and leaned into her.
It was this gentle touch, warm and intimate and otherworldly that seemed to hold all the secrets in the world. She couldn't remember the last time she was kissed so gently, loved so carefully. Yet, here was Mica making her feel as though this had always been.
*
Saying goodbye was harder than it had been before. Rhiannon shed a tear or two as she waved Circi on to the train like a mother sending her child out into the world for the first time. Myrna and Leslie stood a little ways back, rolling their eyes at Rhiannon but also offering Circi encouraging smiles. But, Circi realised as she sat back in her shared compartment with Draco, what hurt most was watching Mica standing ahead of them all hugging her body and watching Circi as though they may never see each other again.
Mica barely blinked while the train was at a standstill. But, as the train lurched forward, Mica pursed her lips and raised her hand to wave goodbye.
Circi wished any of them were going home for Easter, but they had insisted on staying for various reasons so she could only hope they could survive as best they could.
"It'll be better." Draco said, watching her press her face against the window to get a last glimpse of the station. He didn't know she was watching her new world drift into the unknown. "Most of them are gone." Circi paid him no attention and, when the station was a dot in the distance, she stood to dig her notebook from her bag in the overhead compartment. As she sat down, Draco put a hand on her arm but he flinched back when she glared at him. "I'll be better," he sighed.
Circi scoffed, kicking her feet up on the chair and leaning against the window to flick through her notebook she'd filled in over the last few weeks with notes from her friends. She'd be damned if she let Lucius Malfoy deprive her of them any longer than a few weeks.
They sat in silence as the train trundled on through the day and it was late evening when they finally pulled to a stop in King's Cross and Circi spotted Narcissa's black and white hair in the crowd almost immediately.
Sinking in her seat, Circi crossed her arms around her notebook and slipped down in the seat more to watch the other students leave the train.
Draco nudged her arm as he pulled their bags from the overhead carrier. When she refused to move he sighed and pushed their bags into the corridor and nudged her again, "Circ, come on."
She huffed as he dragged her to her feet and off the train, her wrist in one hand and both bags in the other. Narcissa was as composed as usual, standing by a trolley which held their trunks behind which a house elf was watching everyone walk around her. When she found Draco and Circi approaching her, she seemed to relax upon seeing them both which made Circi frown even more.
When they met her she pulled Draco into a hug and, with one arm around Draco, she reached out to caress Circi's cheek but the girl jerked her face away and stepped out of reach.
Releasing Draco, she motioned to the elf to take their bags before guiding the two to the barrier as the elf apparated with the bags.
Circi sped ahead of them the second she felt Narcissa's hand brush her back as it often did Draco's. But, outside the station, there wasn't much she could do but allow Narcissa to guide her to a private space from which they would apparate to the Manor.