Daddy made a face. "Oh my God"
I giggled.
"This tastes awful"
"You have to drink it" I said. "The doctor said it will help you with the pain"
Daddy crinkled his nose at the small white cup and placed on the night stand next to his bed. Even after nearly dying on a metal table he still had a remarkable sense of humor. The glint in his eyes, while it had dulled, was still rich with amusement and still as green as they always were.
The sun was finally setting on daddy's last day in the hospital. For an entire week Emilie, Leslie, and Thomas and I have remained sleep deprived; roaming the halls of the hospital at late hours. I made my decision and it was quite clear. I'd go back to the palace, retrieve my things and come back home. I could manage paying of the mortgage on my own and because of the whole "Curtesy of the Royal Family" thing I didn't have to worry about my father. We were getting a nurse, who could do what I never could.
Watch daddy like the little kid he was 24/7.
Thomas and I were on better terms now and maybe if I squeezed my eyes and blinked hard enough the entire selection would be just a dream. And all the feelings that came along with it. I tried telling myself that it was better this way, that it would have always happened this way.
But a part of me still roamed the halls late at night, waiting by the front desk for the precise moment that a Prince ran through its front doors. And I checked the mail constantly, for some kind of letter, for some kind of hope that I could possibly hold onto that maybe Will missed me just as much as I missed him.
It was an aching reality that hit me likea category five storm. I was angry with myself to feel that way because he was probably obviously dilly dallying with his other girlfriends in the palace. Hugging them, kissing them, holding them. Well you know what I don't care! I'm home now and nothing else matters to me. I have a family to take care of.
Apprently daddy being hospitialized was all over the news. In fact it is still currently in the papers. Tomorrow morning when we leave there's going to be a swarm of paparazzi around the hospital ready to document my father's home coming. How nice.
I don't know how I feel about that.
I don't like being in the spot light, I don't want the attention turned to me, and only me. Even the last Report centered around how the girls felt about my leaving and how they hope everything was ok. Will looked distress but then again I didn't watch for that long. The Queen and King extended their love and I just hoped that I could be in and out of the palace in three days as quick as possible.
"Allie"
I blinked. "Huh?"
Daddy chuckled and pulled off his reading glasses, setting his newspaper down. "I was talking to you"
I squinted. "Oh right. I'm sorry. Just...tired"
Daddy being able to always see right through me heaved a sigh, and folded up his newspaper. "You were thinking about the palace weren't you"
'"I wasn't...."
"Don't bullshit me Allie you're a worse liar than your Aunt Caroline"
My jaw dropped.
I wasn't used to my father swearing so seeing that he did was a huge shock to me. I almost laughed but I wasn't very fond of the comparrison he made. Aunt Caroline died three years back, she was daddy's older and only sibling. There was a fifteen year age difference and everyone always knew Caroline was a naive prune who couldn't tell a lie for the life of her.
I was quite insutled.
I happened to be an amazing liar!
But this time I gave in. "I was just thinking about when I had to go back and get my things."
Daddy raised an eyebrow. "Your things?"
"Yes my things, I can't leave them there."
"You've been elimianted?" he asked me.
I shook my head. "No of course not"
When daddy shrugged he looked confused. "So why get your stuff?"
I looked at him as if the answer was plainly written on my face. "What? You didn't think I'd actually continue to compete after this?" I asked. "You need me"
"And you need to be in the palace" He insisted. "I'm fine on my own."
"You said the same thing three months ago and I had to fly home because you had a heartattack" I shot back.
"Allie, I'm getting old" he reasoned. "These things happen to people"
I shook my head fiercely. "I'm not leaving. I'm coming home, and I'm going to take care of you"
"Sweetheart," daddy took off his glasses and placed them on the table which let me know I was in for a serious talking to. "I'm the parent here"
"I know that"
"You're not listening now stop being such a smart ass like me and listen"
I huffed and slouched in my chair crossing my arms.
"They're sending a nurse home. And Emilie and Leslie have been doing a fine job taking care of me. You cannot keep putting everyone else above your self for the rest of your life. Your happiness is important too"
"I am happy!" I cried.
Daddy dragged his hand down his face. "Forget what I said about Aunt Caroline I take it back. You're as good a liar as your mother was because you've convinced yourself the pety life of a six is satisfying enough for you"
I felt a blow at my pride and my ego. The life of a six, while it wasn't the best, was far from pety, and I always carried my standing with respect. I never turned to work on the street and honest made an honest living. With tears welling up in my eyes I looked down at my hands.
"Daddy...."
"You know I'm right, Alessandra. You desrve so much more than this life or I, quite frankly, could ever offer you"
I wiped my eyes. "What makes you think being in the palace makes me happy"
He rolled his eyes. "Like Illea and I don't watch tv"
I laughed.
"I remember when I noticed it first. It was a special a few weeks back when you were all playing crochet in the gardens, do you remember?" I nodded. "I'll never forget the way that boy looked at you as you were laughing"
Daddy smiled at me and it was the kind of smile I hadn't seen in so long. "it was the way I used to look at your mother"
Not wanting to burst into hysterical tears I just nodded and kept my mouth shut. I wanted to avoid the touchy topic of Aymar just as much as I wanted to avoid the topic of the Will looked at me. It touched a soft spot I didn't have the energy to dive into today.
"Come here" Daddy waved his hand at me and I crawled onto the side of the hospital bed with him.
Not knowing I was already sobbing daddy rubbed my back and kissed my hair. I remember as a little girl I used to cry like this a lot. I'll never forget the mother's day one year when I was six years old. All the little boys and girls, mostly the girls, in school made their moms beautiful cards and I sat there not knowing what to do. It was my first mother's day in school and I didn't understand.
So I drew on my card a picture of my father and I and when the other kids looked at it they questioned me.
"Its supposed to be your mommy not your daddy"
"I only have a daddy" I replied. "See? I drew him?"
One of the other kids scoffed. "What kind of a little girl are you?"
"A normal one" I said.
"Where's your mommy!" another one insisted.
"I don't have a mommy" I stated plainly.
I remembered the collective gasp that went through the room.
"But you have to have a mommy!" the chubby one said.
"What kind of a little girl doesn't have a mommy?" the first asked. "Everybody has a mommy"
That year to celebrate mother's day all the mommy's came to school so the children could sing a song we learned just for them. Still too young to understand I had told my father and he said he'd try to make it. Emilie's mom was there and it was nice to at least have her. Then finally a half hour late daddy strolled in, in his work outfit. He was clean and presentable but the thing was was that he wasn't a mommy. He was a daddy.
Being yound and not understanding I was still esctatic to see that he had made it. I was so proud to show him the card I made. The parents stood for a little while longer after that until they left and the other kids taunted me the rest of the afternoon.
When I got home that night I cried in a simialar way to the way I was now and asked daddy why I didn't have a mommy like the other kids.
"Of course you have a mommy, don't you remember her Allie?" he'd asked me.
"Of course I remember her! But she left didn't she? Where did she go, daddy?"
"I don't know, sweetheart."
'Will she be back?" I asked. "Doesn't she love me enough to come back?"
Daddy didn't say anything. He just let me cry the whole night. So that father's day when we did the same exact thing for the daddy's a little girl brought her mom. I didn't say anything to her.
Trying to put myself back together again I sniffled. "Why does this always happen to me"
"You're your mother's daughter."
"Was she always a walking disaster?"
Daddy thought a moment. "Pretty much. Not while she was with me"
I looked up. "Why did you choose her?" I asked, my throat still thick with tears.
Daddy smiled at me, tired, but dreamily. "Your mother was just one of those girls you had to go after and whatever happened happened and you could go on the rest of your life knowing you tried."
"You loved her?"
"More than air but not nearly as much as I love you"
I sniffled. "You must regret going after don't you?" I chuckled.
"Of course not!" he insisted. "Because then I wouldn't have you."
I sighed. My heart was this disorted black and blue mess, all beat up too wounded to even begin healing. "Ok"
"I want you on a plane back to the palace asap" I nodded as he spoke. 'And I want you to stay there"
My eyes widened "But I can-!"
"Let me ask you this" he put his game face on. "You're telling me that if you left the palace I wouldn't be spending the next year listening to your depressing music while you work, hear you moping around the house in the middle of the night, and constantly lock the door to your bedroom?"
I was highly offended he knew me so well.