In the picture you can see Pedro (YN) colleague. ;) A real Hottie if you ask me :)
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Justin POV
Dean is in New York for a few days, which is good for me, so I'll be less tempted. Still, I wasn’t at home for two days. I spent one night in the studio, the other at Ryan’s. Ryan and I just gambled on his console basketball, as Miri entered the apartment and had pizza boxes in her hand.
“You two could at least have changed the air in the room.” She said and made a face, apparently it didn’t smell particularly good in the living room. She gave Ryan a little hello kiss and smiled at me.
“Sorry, pumpkin.” Ryan called after her as she disappeared into the kitchen. Something like the two of them have together…I want to have again. And there is only one woman who will be that for me, ever.
“Can you take your feet off when food is on the table?” Miri asked as she put the plates and the pizza on the table. We obeyed and set up right. At least I had Ryan again in my life. A constant that gives me the strength to get back on the right track. I hope at least.
“Did you talk to (YN) in the last days?” I asked Miri, while we were eating. She looked at me briefly and nodded.
“Yes, we were with her and Johanna, had a girls' night.” She said and looked at me strangely.
“Oh, (YN) told me about it.” I said uncomfortably. Finally, it was there where (YN) told Miri what I have done. She nodded and looked uncertainly in Ryan's direction.
“But she seems to do better since a few days. At least she talks to us again, and leaves the house.” Miri tells what brought me smile. Maybe it's because of me, I hope so. We were speaking during lunch about simple topics, until I decided to go.
“Where do you go now?” Ryan asked me worried. We were standing in the doorway, hugging each other like brothers.
“I'll go home, don’t worry, Anna is there.” I assured him, he nodded hesitantly, but let me go. On the way to my car, I checked my email and could see that (YN) had actually sent me an invitation to the charity event. It will take place in two weeks. I need to see her before. So I called Nick, when I got in my car and brought the engine to work. I made an appointment with him, for the end of this week, and sent (YN) a text.
To (YN):
‘Hope work is not too stressful. Nick and I meet on Thursday at 10 in the dance school. I'd love to see you there. Justin’
Unexpectedly, I immediately got a response.
From (YN):
‘Lunch break. ;) I'll try to stop by. (YN) '
She will come. My day is saved. Now I want to go home and then dispose some stuff there.
END POV
(YN) POV
“Lunch break (YN). And today, I won’t accept a no for an answer.” Said Pedro bright as ever. I rolled my eyes playfully and nodded.
“Okay, let me just quickly finish the email.” He nodded, satisfied, and sat down on the edge of my desk. I could feel how he looked at me, watching, almost studied my face. He's a really good-looking man. We have many common interests, actually became a good friend in the last few weeks. He doesn’t know anything about my past, that's why it's so easy with him. He provides no awkward questions and is always very attentive and hold back. He quickly notes when a topic is uncomfortable for me, and then changes it always in a clever way.
We took the elevator together and left the building. The weather was fantastic, as so often in LA. Normally we always went to the same restaurant, but this time he stopped in front of his motorcycle and handed me a helmet. I looked at him quizzically, which led him to smile at me.
“I can’t eat the same shit every day.” He said, and helped me to put on the helmet. His hands were busy closing the buckle at my chin, his face very close to mine. He smelled really good. His minty breath hit my lips, but I made a step back immediately.
“Where do you take me?” I asked with a grin as I took a seat on the motorcycle behind him and wrapped my arms around his muscular torso. He started the engine and stepped on the gas, which made me just to squeak and hold on tighter to him.
“If you keep holding that tightly I go nowhere because I couldn’t breathe.” He said with a laugh, immediately I redeem my grip and giggled apologetically in his neck. I didn’t sit for the first time on a motorcycle. Justin and I did it together often. He loved the speed and freedom you can feel when you sat on such a machine. Just as I do. Oh great now I have to think about him again. It wasn’t long until we arrived at a restaurant. It was busy and very well known that also celebs eat here. Why Pedro take me for coming here? Of course the paparazzi were there and immediately began to surround me and Pedro. He took of my and his helmet, as the photographer began taking pictures and asking me stupid questions about Justin of course. Pedro looked at me apologetically as he become aware of what's happening here.
“(YN) I'm sorry, I haven't thought about it.” He murmured in my ear, put his hand on my back and pulled me closer to him protectively.
“It's okay, let's go inside.” I whispered back, he hovered above me leading me into the restaurant through the crowds. Once in the restaurant, I let the tension with my jacket in the wardrobe and tried to relax. I have learned over the time to ignore the questions so far, that I really cannot remember what the photographer wanted to know about me. Pedro and I sit on the terrace which was led out to the back and well secured so that it was hardly possible to take pictures of us. He apologized several times until I let him know that everything was okay.
“I'm used to that.” I assured him, after we ordered our lunch. “For more than two years, I can’t go out without the photographer either follow me, or fans of Justin who hate me because they think that I'm to blame for his current behavior.”
“Isn’t that terribly exhausting?” He asked with interest and sympathy, as he took a sip of his water. Of course it is, but for Justin it was worth it to do that.
“I knew what I was getting myself into as I go into a relationship with Justin.” I said quietly, the waiter brought us our food. Pedro nodded sympathetically.
“You were engaged, right?” He asked cautiously. I just nodded, and began to eat.
“Do you have a girlfriend?” I asked him to steer the conversation at him.
“Not anymore. We broke up a year ago.” He said without emotion. The time of the lunch break was over quickly. In between Justin had texted me again, which made me happy. I think I will really go to the dance school, after all, Justin and I'm not alone, Nick will be there.
“Thanks for the variety.” I said, as I have given Pedro the helmet back. We were back at the office.
“You are welcome.” He said, smiling. Soon I was back at my workplace. A lot of work waiting for me and Leonardo wants to hold a meeting with me and some other colleagues tomorrow so I have a lot to prepare till then.
END POV
Justin’s POV
“Anna, I need your help.” I called when I came into the house. She was immediately with me and smiled at me, still with a rag in her hand.
“The alcohol needs to leave the house.” I told her, and I'll washed all pills down the toilet. Without contradicting or to ask questions, Anna did what I had asked her. I was on my way and scanned all of my hiding places, where I had hidden the pills from myself, then before (YN) and my friends and employees. I knew exactly where they all are. I don’t want that anymore, this is the end, this is it. In order to get (YN) back I know I have to make a change and I’m ready to do it.
All the colorful pills were in the toilet, and I just stared at them for a while. I reminded what a strong feeling it have given me. How fit I have felt with them. How good the sex was when I took it. But only the sex with (YN). Back then she didn’t know that I have taken something, but enjoyed it when I had her satisfies the whole night. I miss the sex with her, but much more I miss her, as a person, as my partner and best friend and with that in mind I pressed the purge and said goodbye to what has broken me like that.
Proud and satisfied that I had made it, I made my way to the kitchen where Anna was busy to pour the alcohol down the drain. I watched her doing. Nervousness makes itself felt, what I'm doing with the rest of the today? What I'm doing tonight?
“Justin, what’s on your mind?” Anna question me when she was ready. I must have looked absent. I shook my head to get rid of the idea.
“What can I do to get (YN) back?” I asked her. She knew (YN) well, they have often cooked together and (YN) had always helped to keep that house clean. Often they were shopping together, and thus they have spent enough time together that you could say that Anna knew (YN).
“I think you're already on the right track.” She said and looked at me proudly. She has seen it all, as I lay on the floor in front of the toilet, because I had no strength to drag myself to bed. She wiped my vomit and cleaned me up, so I don’t choking on my vomit. She knew in what state I had spent the last months.
“If she sees that you are the old Justin again, she will not be able to resist.” She said and stroked my spine maternal. In her other hand she had a big bag of empty bottles. I took it from her.
“I'll take that out.” I said, gave her a kiss on the cheek and grinned at her gratefully. I brought the bottle to the garbage and rolled the barrel to the curb, so the refuse collection can pick it up. On the way back I scrolled through my phone, the news and that was a mistake.
‘Justin's ex-girlfriend or shall we say ex-fiancé was spotted with a mysterious, handsome man at the lunch break. It seems that the Biebs is history. After Justin was seen with countless women, and doesn’t seems to be a child of sadness, it is about that time that (YN) enters life again and have some fun. We hope for (YN) that this man is serious about her, she would deserve it. Good Luck!’
END POV
YOUR POV
It was very late when I finally got home, Jo hasn’t waited with dinner for me; after all it was already 11. But she has left something for me, so it was totally okay with me. We talked about our day and what we could do together on the weekends. I felt alive again, better. I again had more energy and lust for life itself. And yes, it was up to Justin. It was always about Justin, my whole life has something to do with him. If he is doing badly, I feel bad. This connection we have is indescribable and inseparable. The last few months have been like living in hell. And I miss him so much. Suddenly, my phone vibrated on the coffee table, interrupting the conversation I had with Jo. Justin’s caller-ID with his selfie popped up on the screen.
“Pretty late for a call.” Said Jo, looking at the watch, it was already half past midnight. I shrugged my shoulders and took the call.
“Why are you meeting with other men?” Dead drunk Justin called me. He droned into the phone, I could hardly understand him, still sitting next to Johanna.
“What are you talking about, Justin?” I thought he didn’t want to do that anymore to himself. I thought it's over.
“You know exactly what I mean. I've seen the pictures. Why are you doing this to me?” He muttered, suddenly there was a loud bang.
“Justin? Are you okay? Where are you?” I was worried that anger, that he has called me to embarrass me was pushed to the side. For a while there was no answer, but I could still hear him breathe. “Justin, do you hear me?”
“You belong to me.” He murmured softly. Short relief began to spread, but quickly sadness and anger followed.
“You no longer wanted me. Do you remember?” I ask him sad, the tears springing back into my eyes. On the one hand because of what he has said, partly because he was drunk again. I felt helpless. Johanna looked at me sympathetically.
“You got somebody else.” He muttered, and now he sounded as if he was crying.
“No, I don’t. Justin calm down.” I said with a quiet, gentle voice. “Tell me where you are.” I added. Again, I only hear breathing and crying, but no answer.
“You have no other?” He asked, sniffling.
“No, Justin. Where are you?”
“Outside our door. I can’t find the key.” He muttered. Our door? Our. It was long gone ours. But somehow I liked the sound of this word out of his mouth.
“How did you get there at all?” I asked worriedly, but still quiet, I didn’t want to unnecessarily upset him in his condition more than he already is.
“By car.” What did he say? By car, did he lost his mind? Johanna stared at me in disbelief when she heard it.
“Have you driven the car?” I asked now a little shocked.
“What does it matter, my life is worthless without you, anyway.” His voice was shaky and desperate. Every word hurt in my chest. I didn’t know what to say. “And now I’m not even able to enter that damn house. I hate that house, since you left, there is nothing…”
“Justin, please, stop it.” I interrupted him I couldn’t listen to that any longer. It hurt too much. The last few weeks he told me again and again the same shit but he was the one in first place who pushed me away. “What about the spare key? Can you remember where we have kept it?” I asked to switch the subject.
“No. No idea.” He muttered disappointed.
“Tell me exactly where you are.” I said determinative, but nice.
“I'm sitting on the steps outside the front door, alone, in the dark without someone who loves me.” His babbling got stronger, I could literally see him sitting there with half-closed eyes and open mouth. He's still a drama queen but still his words hit me like a rock.
“Don’t move, I’ll be with you in a few.” I said after I thought. I finally can’t leave him alone. Johanna looked at me surprised and sullen.
“No!” He cried suddenly, what confused me. “I don’t want you to see me like that.” He muttered. “Tell me where the key is, I'm listening.” He added trying to sound sober, but failed.
“O-Okay.” I stammered in confusion. “Then you have to get up now. Do you see the palm tree on the right?” I asked him, he said he sees it. “Okay, then go to the Palm, down there are four big stones, under the smallest stone is the key. Do you do this for me?” I asked him, as if I were speaking to a child.
“For you I'll do anything.” He stammered, I could hear loud noises, as if he had fallen over again, then a moan, feet sipped over the ground. Then a stones were thrown, and have obviously hit a window, the alarm went off.
“Fuck!” Justin yelled suddenly.
“What happened?” I asked him worriedly.
“I have broken the car window. Just like I have broken all in my life. Because of you! You are to blame, (YN).” His mood suddenly changed unexpectedly and I was completely overwhelmed by the situation.
“Do you have the key?” I asked him, without reacting to what he had said before, I knew he hadn’t meant it like that. The alarm went off. And I hear Justin stumble back to the front door.
“I'm in the house.” He muttered, and before I could say anything, he hung up. What was that? As I stood paralyzed in the living room, Johanna stared at me, I stared on the phone, where a picture of Justin was still to be seen. He took a selfie back then and saved it as the contact icon. The icon disappeared after a few seconds and I unfroze again.
“What did he want?” Asked Jo, who could hear only a fraction of the conversation.
“I think he thought that I’m dating Pedro.” I said monotonously, still not right mind. Jo's eyes were confused, I was looking for the photos, and found some at TMZ, with an article about the events of this afternoon.
“You've never told me about him. He looks good.” Said Jo, who was looking at the pictures.
“Because there is nothing to tell. We are colleagues, nothing more.” I assured her and sat down next to her again. I couldn’t concentrate, I was too worried about Justin that something could have happened to him.
“Too bad he's hot.” Jo said with a laugh. Since the death of Giovanni she didn’t even look at another man. Too deep seated the pain, even when already more than a year had passed. It was still hard for us both. I gave her the 'whatever' look and took my phone back.
I dialed Justin's number but he didn’t accept the call. So I called Ryan, maybe he can help. Justin didn’t want me to come by, I tried to get Ryan to pay Justin a visit to make sure he was okay. Ryan assured me that he would drive over immediate and would call me later.
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Poor Justin. So how will it go on? When the two will meet again??...soon?
The next chapters gonna surprise you, I'm looking forward to share them with you.
How do you like the third book so far?
I myself love it, to be honest. :) Hope you too!
And still looking for the right DEAN!!!!! leave a comment and don't forget to vote ;) it's a motivation for me to post faster!!! just saying!!! ;)
LOVE YOU!