Saturday
It was getting increasingly harder to ignore reality as hours passed after his sexcapade with Julian. Not just because his conscience wouldn't let him have some peace. No, the party had been ended by cops shortly after he had left with Julian, yet Senn hadn't come home hours later. Aunt Tessa and uncle Dean had asked him numerous of times where he had been in those hours, but Senn had shrugged it off and replied; 'with a friend'.
Which wasn't even a lie.
But their questions, or Killian's weird staring weren't even the main reasons he felt like his face was shoved into his own secrets yet again; it was Avan, who had repeatedly sent him texts. Angry ones, for that matter. He was livid over the fact Senn had yet again disappeared from a party without a warning, and he was getting sick and tired of being ditched; this time without a clear explanation.
After all, last year it had been fairly easy to tell half-a-truth and tell his friend he had gone home with Julian because Julian was the only one who lived nearby. That lie, however, wasn't going to cut it; Julian lived too far away for it to work.
Not to mention neither Avan nor Lucas even knew Julian was back in town. And if they knew he was back in town and Senn jumped at the first opportunity to ditch them to leave with Julian, their anger would probably only increase.
Damage control was in order, but Senn knew Avan well enough to know he wouldn't just forgive Senn. He needed a viable explanation for his behavior, and blaming everything on the accident was getting pretty old, even to Senn.
Which was why, around noon, Senn turned to his magic-8-ball once again, and asked for its advise.
"Please, just be clear to me. Should I tell Avan the truth?"
He shook the ball with one hand while focusing on his chat with Avan on the phone.
Avan: It just pisses me off, because we thought you got arrested and Lucas hasn't closed his eyes the entire night because he felt guilty for asking you to come.
Avan: You know how it feels to find out you weren't even there anymore?
Avan: You really suck as a friend, u know?
Senn swallowed, turning back to the magic-8-ball without replying to Avan. He needed the answer first. And some part of him had expected—hoped even—it would yet again be indecisive about him coming out, but for some reason it decided now would be the time to take a decision. It was still vague, but Senn knew he needed to stop coming up with excuses.
Outlook good
Senn rolled his eyes, before he grabbed his phone and started typing a reply.
Senn: I can explain why, for real this time. Meet me at the river in 30?
Avan: this better really be it this time. I'll see you in 30.
Senn sighed in relief, knowing Avan wasn't the kind of guy who would let him sit in his misery without at least listening to an explanation. Avan rather fixed fights by talking, than taking time apart and let things boil until the pressure was simply too much to handle.
It's why they had been friends for so long; Avan didn't like to fight, but he also didn't hide his frustrations.
Which was why Senn felt like it was best to go to Avan first. Yes, Lucas was more or less his best friend in their group, but he was also way more unpredictable in his reactions and opinions. Avan was all up for equality. Though his religion could still pose a problem for their friendship, seeing that Senn's sexuality didn't exactly match their beliefs.
He hurried to dress up and get to the river in time, glad that it wasn't the best weather—though luckily it wasn't raining either—and there was nobody around.
Senn had been in time, but Avan was already seated at the rock, staring at him with an angry look on his face while Senn approached him with a stomach that was twisting and turning as if it was trying to throw out food that he hadn't even eaten yet that day.
"Well?" Avan asked as Senn sat down next to him. "Where did you go?"
"Uh, honestly? Don't yell at me for this, but I bumped into Julian. He's back in town."
"So, because he's back in town, it's okay to ditch us? Again?" Avan scowled, "You always used to do that, but that was because he lived close-by. What's your excuse this time? Why not take him to us?"
Senn shrugged. "Because there's things you guys don't know, and he does. Last year was never about riding home together, you know?"
"Then what is it about? If you like him more than us, go ahead, be his best friend."
"He's..." Senn took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a while.
Lucas would've interrupted his silence and demanded an answer. Avan, as always, was the patient kind of guy who'd let him think about his words. Or in this case, work up the guts to tell Avan exactly what he had been struggling with for so long.
"Avan?" Senn mumbled insecurely, "I think I'm gay, and Julian and I... We were seeing each other last year."
Avan kept staring towards the river while suspension was killing Senn slowly. He seemed to mule over his words, over and over, until he finally turned to look at Senn.
"I'm glad you told me this, because it kind of makes sense, if you know what I mean?"
"Makes sense how? Did you know already?"
"Oh, no, I had no idea. It's not like you pranced around with a sign." Avan shook his head before shrugging a shoulder. "You've been so angry lately and I know it's because of your parents. But before that? There was something wrong with you that we couldn't figure out."
"Really? I don't remember..."
"I know, but we do. You remember how we always used to talk about girls? Which ones we think are hot and all? Last year your answers were, I don't know, void of emotions or something. I didn't really understand back then, but now?"
"Honestly, you guys did ask a lot about Joyce and you guys still do and that just pisses me off because I clearly said we were over."
"Which brings me to the next thing that suddenly makes sense now."
Senn sent him a questioning look, and Avan smirked in reply.
"If you're not pissed because Joyce is dating Elio, are you pissed because Elio is dating someone?"
"Shut up," Senn muttered, crossing his arms. "You're going to annoy me with this information, are you?"
Avan laughed, nudging him teasingly. "Of course I will. That's my obligation as a friend."
"So, you're not disgusted because I'm gay?"
"No, I have no idea why that would change anything." Avan put an arm around his shoulder, pulling him in for a quick hug, patting his shoulder a few times. "You can always come to me if you need support, okay?"
"Thanks, Avan, it really means a lot to me."
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Love, June