THE REASON WHY SPIRITS LINGER AROUND.
"So, you think this is the girl that I like?" Tine asked for the hundredth time all the way from Sarawat's bed where he was laying on his belly with the chin in his hands, or actually hovering horizontally since Tine never really touched any corporeal surfaces. Sarawat's cell phone was perched on a pillow below him, the screen showing a picture of a cute girl. They had gone through Tine's Instagram account high and low, finally stumbling over one speculative account that could very well be Tine's possible love interest. "Pear," he said aloud tentatively, trying out how the name rolled off of his tongue.
Sarawat rolled his big eyes in exasperation, completely ignoring Tine's silly antics. He was currently sitting at the tiny study desk, typing up a belated school report on his laptop, deft fingers moving over the keyboard swiftly.
Tine was now all about this crush of his, pestering Sarawat for more information and pictures of the girl, which only aggravated Sarawat even further. He understood the significance the girl and the crush itself might have on Tine's afterlife but something about that just did not resonate within Sarawat. Not at all. Consequently he found himself dragging his feet to get a hold of the female and avoiding the topic all together whenever possible. Nevertheless they had still managed, by ways of Facebook stalking, to find out that Pear too was in the music club. This meant that Sarawat would at least have an excuse to approach her more naturally, disregarding how suspicious it would already seem since he never really talked to anyone else outside of his group of friends, especially a female junior.
"Waaat," Tine whined, insistent on getting his attention.
Sarawat felt a heated flush run along his neck and pooling in his lower belly, his fingers stilling on the keys. Where the hell had Tine managed to pick up his nickname? Tine was slowly but surely getting under his skin, it both worried and excited Sarawat. Tine was too cute for his own good. Actually Sarawat would not mind if he would stay as his little ghost secret forever.
"Can you please swipe to another picture for me?" Tine begged. The cell phone did not recognize his ghostly energy as human touch, making it impossible for him to operate the device on his own.
Sarawat turned around halfway, a tanned arm around the back of the chair as he stared stoically at the ghost over his shoulder. Tine wasted no time in blinking back at Sarawat with this pitiful puppy dog eyed look, eyes almost trembling with virtue. He pointed a pale finger at the cell phone and exaggerated the pout on his squishy lips. His innocence was such a trap, Tine had to be a mischievous devil in disguise.
"Seriously Tine, you're going to wear her face out," Sarawat muttered but rose from his seat anyway and sauntered over to swipe over the screen of his phone. Tine beamed squarely at Sarawat, the corners of his eyes crinkling.
"Thank you, you're the best," he said cheerily and Sarawat felt his heart flutter at the secondary compliment. Tine instantly glanced back down at the screen, continuing with his fascinated ogling of the female, his alight eyes tracing over her warm features.
Sarawat frowned at the speed with which he had been dismissed. What the heck, he certainly felt used by this stupid ghost. Why the hell was he not haunting Pear instead if she was his crush?
"I want to meet her," Tine suddenly mumbled distractedly, kicking his legs slowly in the air like a silly schoolgirl. Sarawat's lips curled precariously on one side, his Cupid's bow stretching wide while a strange feeling made his lower belly flutter with worry, fingers growing cold. Oh, did he now?
There were however two big obstacles. One being that they still did not know how the heck Tine had been able to leave Sarawat's room. After materializing at the riverbank Tine had thought it was a go ahead from the heavens for him to move around freely but that was certainly not the case. He was still bound to the four walls of Sarawat's dorm room. Sarawat frowned. There had to be some kind of detail that they had overlooked. This only left them with the option of taking Pear to Sarawat's room to get her to meet Tine. Which would not be weird at all. Right. And if they did manage so far then it lead them to the second obstacle, namely that there was no guarantee that she would be able to see or communicate with Tine. Maybe it was enough if Tine got to see her? Or did he need to make an actual confession? And then what, would he just go up in smoke?
Ah, all of this was such a clusterfuck! Sarawat had never been the one to enjoy romantic coming of age movies but he was unexpectedly starring in one now.
"Hey," Tine suddenly said, struck by a sudden ingenious idea while contemplating ways of how to meet his crush in person. Sarawat winced mentally, already guessing by Tine's excitement that the next thing out of his mouth would be either something annoying or something totally cringe worthy.
Tine looked up at Sarawat where he stood beside the bed, arms crossed over a wide chest and haltered in his enthusiasm at the stunning view of the other man. He was wearing a pair of snug sweatpants that were showing off his lithe thighs and a plain thank top with its sides cut out, flashing his taut obliques and some side abdominals. Tine had to swallow dryly before he could even continue, almost losing his train of thought as a sudden heat wave flashed over his form.
"Try thinking of me next time you're out and see if you can summon me!" He blurted and quickly looked back at the phone, ears and neck flushing.
Well, if that held true then Tine would have already been summoned to Sarawat's side plenty of times. A smirk spread over his lips as he amusedly stared at the fair skinned man hogging his bed and his phone, maybe even his heart. Sarawat would actually not mind if Tine could spend more time by his side, filling up the quiet hours of his day with cheery chattering about anything and everything. For having two completely different personalities, with him being rather resigned and careful while Tine was cheery and impulsive, Sarawat still found himself enjoying Tine's company more than he would have ever guessed. It was as if the missing puzzle pieces in his life had finally started falling into place.
Therefore it would be totally worth it to find out how to make Tine more mobile, but on the other hand he would finally get to meet Pear and Sarawat was not sure if he was ready to go the whole length yet. Tine was slowly making room for himself in Sarawat's life and once he disappeared, surely Sarawat would be left with a bigger void inside his chest than ever before.
So was it really that selfish of Sarawat to intentionally delay Tine's departure? Maybe. But it was not like Tine was on a time limit here, he could afford to hang around some more before indefinitely evaporating into the universe.
-----
"Hey Boss, can you give me Natty's contact details?" Sarawat asked during lunch one day.
Sarawat could no longer avoid the fact that he needed to talk to someone about the things happening with Tine, there were just too many questions piling up on top of each other that neither Tine or especially Sarawat could find any answers to. Natty seemed as the most harmless bet so far and hopefully not too useless as the first time around. Besides, Sarawat would not have to explain everything to her since she already knew some of the initial backstory thanks to Boss' unnecessary involvement.
The whole ghost story trope was actually making Sarawat hesitant to speak with other people but Natty seemed crazy enough to take it at face value and not just straight out laugh at him. Sarawat was so used to be taken seriously that he could not even imagine having anyone else besides his friends making fun of him. Obviously, he did not care what other people thought about him, but still, there was some breaking ground to do before he was fully comfortable talking about this without feeling loony. He was not even comfortable enough yet to get into details about this with Man and Boss.
"Whyyy?" Came the obnoxious reply from his grinning friend, who had instantly dropped his fork and spoon to give Sarawat his undivided attention, eyes shining. Sarawat pursued his bow shaped lips. Here we go. "I know she's hot but she doesn't bat for the boys' team, you know that right?"
Sarawat rolled his eyes just before he leaned over the table, swiftly whacking the back of Boss' head, sending his hair flying on all sides.
"Wha-" Boss spluttered, shaking his head to get rid of the ringing in his ears from the force of the slap. Sarawat was just too vicious. Man snickered in the seat next to his friend, shaking his head in amusement, not even pausing amidst the motions of stuffing his face with food. He did however swiftly dart his arm out, spooning some of the meat from Boss' plate while the other one was not paying any attention.
"I don't care, just give me her Line," Sarawat drawled, eyes glinting a little forebodingly at Boss' scandalized expression.
"Why do you need her Line?" He asked but then a smug little smile filtered onto Boss' heart shaped face as something dawned on him. "Oh, I see." Sarawat arched his stark eyebrows quizzically. "Are you still having issues with your haunted room, is that why you wanna talk to Natty? But I thought you'd already talked to that one guy," Boss added as an afterthought, a forefinger and thumb on his chin.
Sarawat's expression instantly morphed into confusion, he leaned slightly forward in interest.
"What guy?"
"I posted in the forums on university's homepage, looking for anyone that could give us some info on what happened in your room. And there was a guy claiming to be a friend of this one dude that lived in you room before he got into an accident."
Sarawat sat up straighter, fingers curling into fists nervously, knuckles whitening. That had to be one of Tine's friends. Then why the hell had they been so hostile when talking to Sarawat before, if one of them had already been willing to share details online?
But wait, stop. One thing at a time.
Had Tine been in an accident? Shit. Sarawat's head was spinning at this unexpected information surplus. His heart thudded heavily in the enclosure of his ribcage, each time swelling bigger and more suffocating, painfully filling up his whole chest. Of course. Tine had to have been in an accident with the way he initially looked Sarawat chided himself. These were positive news, finally having the occurrence of an accident confirmed but at the same time these news did not really reveal anything new. Sarawat would have to try talking with Tine's friends again. Maybe ask Boss and Man to butter them up if they had issues speaking with Sarawat himself.
"What's his name?"
Boss shrugged, picking up his fork and picking slowly at his food, sending a glare Man's way when he noticed that all the meat pieces were gone.
"Eh, I don't remember but I can check the thread since he replied with his student account."
"Do me a favor and meet with this guy for me," Sarawat asked seriously with a certain heat gleaming in his dark eyes and for once Boss did not even try to be coy, he just nodded dutifully and left it at that. Man nodded too. The guys trusted that Sarawat would tell them what was going in time. Even though Boss' whole body was impatiently tingling with curiosity, he tried to rein it in, for now. Sarawat was such a secretive fucker sometimes.
-----
"You're telling me that you can see spirits?" Natty asked with evident disbelief in her nasal voice, her slender hands were cupped around a tall glass of iced coffee on the rickety, outdoor café table between them. The golden bracelets on her arms gleamed in the sunlight.
"Just one spirit," Sarawat clarified exasperated, leaning back in his seat and crossing his lithe arms over his chest, the sweatshirt tightening around his shoulders and biceps. Natty was wearing his patience thin. This was her third time asking the same fucking question and Sarawat was ready to rip his hair out in frustration. They had been going around the topic in circles and he wanted some actual answers. Now, thank you!
"Hm." Natty slurped her sugary drink while her eyes kept darting madly around the outdoor serving of the coffee shop. The foam from the drink smudged on her upper lip like a white, fluffy mustache.
The downside of being a medium was that Natty was a little all over the place, often getting lost between the different layers of the world, confused by all the well meaning but also corrupt spirits. Like now for example, Natty was really trying to get into the conversation with Sarawat but she was also trying to avoid eye contact with a really nasty looking sprit hovering a couple of tables over.
Her heart ached for lost souls the most. Nothing could ever help them once they lost their last sliver of humanity. Once that happened they would either be stuck reliving a fragment from their life, mindlessly going trough the notions on a loop or if their soul had been corrupted badly enough they would latch onto unsuspecting humans, slowly draining them of their life force. That is until someone set them free of their shackles and purged them from the living world. These souls then ceased to exist altogether, never getting another chance at rebirth.
Sarawat's lips curled mirthlessly, flashing a row of white teeth as he passed her a paper napkin to wipe her face with. Natty stared confusedly at his stoic expression, long lashes fluttering until Sarawat rolled his eyes and pointed at his own bow shaped mouth, mimicking a wiping motion and then pointed back at Natty. She flushed instantly and threw herself over the napkin wildly, rubbing fiercely at her stained lips, the bracelets on her arms clinking against each other.
"Is it the same one that's haunting your room?" She then asked finally when she was done with wiping her mouth, a pocket mirror now in her hand as she reapplied red lipstick on her thin lips. Her eyes darted quizzically over to Sarawat when the silence stretched but then her eyes grew huge at the ugly spirit staring back at her through the reflection in the tiny mirror and Natty snapped it shut with a resonating click. Fucking pests.
Sarawat inhaled deeply, trying to keep his frustration at bay. Natty was certainly an acquired taste that took some time getting used to.
"Yes," he droned. That one ghost that you did not manage to see, Sarawat almost added but refrained since he still wanted to wheedle some sort of information from Natty before unintentionally insulting her.
"And now this spirit haunts you?"
"Uh-" Sarawat balked slightly at her wording, inky eyes widening and pupils dilating. "I guess you could say it like that since he's just hanging around my room and only I can see him."
Sarawat rubbed at his nape, feeling unreasonably awkward at her blatant words, eyes darting to the side. A strange, wavering feeling swept along his spine, making the small hairs on his arms rise. So there was a possibly that Tine hung around Sarawat because he was haunting him and not because they were just stuck in the same dorm room? What the hell. It had never even crossed Sarawat's mind to put it that way. He had just assumed that the ghost had come together with the room, buy one and get one for free deal. His lips twisted downward, jutting out faintly in confusion. But why would Tine haunt Sarawat?
"Tin-" he started but then corrected himself since that sounded a little too personal. "Is that why the ghost was able to follow me outside, because he haunts me? But then why did it happen only once?" Noting made sense anymore.
Natty put her chin in one hand, elbow resting on the table while she pondered, lips in a pout and long nails tapping against her skin. Her eyes rolled up slightly into her skull, only halves of her irises showing. Well, that was certainly some deep thoughts that she was having.
Sarawat just shook his head wryly, already getting used to all the weirdness slowly closing in on him. Instead he stuck one hand inside his jeans pocket, taking out a packet of cigarettes and lightening up a cigarette with a clicking noise from the lighter. Sarawat took a lazy drag of it, eyes on the female while she was still stuck in her strange trance, white smoke pooling between his wide lips for a moment before it drafted idly up into the blue sky on his exhale. Sarawat then withdrew the nicotine stick from his pouty mouth, irately squeezing it between his long fingers at his side.
"Well?" He drawled. His long, denim clad legs sprawled under the table lazily, a round knee hitting the underside of the low table.
"Do you have something that belonged to the spirit once?" Natty asked after a few more beats of silence, her eyes now back to normal even if a little unfocused as she looked at the young man sitting across from her. "Sometimes spirits are bound to things instead of places, regardless of who they haunt."
Which is why no one should pick up random, seemingly lost items off the street, Natty thought while her eyes darted to the scary spirit with them on the patio. A piece of jewelry gleamed under the table where the spirit was still hovering around. What an inconspicuous trap.
Sarawat combed his free hand through his dark brown hair, shouldering up and exhaling with an ouf-sound, the muscles in his upper arm flexing. The cigarette dropped ashes to the ground from his hefty movement.
An item that belonged to Tine? And one that Sarawat had unknowingly taken with him? Nothing came really to his mind. Shit, Sarawat was now getting both frustrated and confused, thoughts only bouncing chaotically against the walls of his skull. Why did everything had to be so complicated?
"I don't think so," Sarawat replied, face still pensive and lips twisted as he kept wracking his brain.
"Well, double check that. It has never happed before that spirits bound to places has been able to relocate and it won't happen now, trust me." Natty waved with her thin hand grandiosely, underlying what she had said.
Sarawat arched his brows skeptically. Right. Natty did not peg him as the trustworthy type but whatever, it was not as if he had any other options right now. Sarawat took another drag of his cigarette to stifle the unexpected jitters running through him, fingers twitching slightly. It suddenly crept up on him how real this situation was. Shit, what the hell was he getting himself into?
The female took another sip of her cold beverage before leaning back into her chair, crossing one slender leg over another, her bedazzled heels sparkling in the sunlight.
"But be careful, Sarawat," Natty urged then with a serious tone of voice for once, making an aborted movement as if to grab Sarawat's sturdy hand but upon seeing his closed off expression thought better of it and just dropped it back onto her lap. "This spirit seems strange. I usually see souls of deceased people effortlessly but I couldn't get in touch with this one, it wasn't willing to reveal itself to me." She shrugged with a befuddled expression on her face.
Natty's phone suddenly buzzed on the table in front of her and her gaze darted to it, eyes growing huge at what she saw on the screen, brows disappearing into the hairline.
"Oh, shit!" The young woman shrieked as she rushed up to her feet, staggering slightly on her heels. "I totally forgot about my next appointment. Sorry but I need to go now! If you want a purification ritual to cleanse the spirit then it will cost you 10,000.00 baht."
Sarawat rolled his eyes at her brazen words and took another lazy drag of his cigarette, his dark gaze tracking the frantic movements as Natty hurriedly gathered her things from atop the table. How much shit did women have on them? Then she stilled abruptly, almost giving Sarawat whiplash, suddenly cutting off her hectic movements and looked straight back at him. Natty's huge hoop earrings dangled on each side of her slim face.
"Ow, I almost forgot to tell you!" She lamented with a pout and a little furrow between her brows. Sarawat tilted his chin up, listening while stubbing out his cigarette against a ceramic ashtray on the table. "There are three reasons for spirits to dwell in the living world." Sarawat's lips parted in anticipation. She raised one slim hand and counted off on her fingers, bending them one by one as she rattled off the reasons. "The first reason is that there are no family or friends to visit their grave, the second is that they do not know why they died and the third reason is that their life expectancy is not over." She then pointed at Sarawat, her finger trembling slightly from the force of it. "Pick one and go from there. Good luck!"
Finished with her spiel, Natty hustled through the outdoor patio of the coffee shop and further along the street, her willowy frame disappearing into an alley.
Sarawat's heart faltered in his chest, breaths instantly getting shorter as he stared uncomprehendingly into the air. What? He blinked his big eyes, trying to gather his thoughts. Fucking Natty should have started off with this to begin with. Sarawat sat up straighter in his seat but then faltered and leaned forward instead, head cradled between his suddenly sweaty hands as he stared at the ground between his feet. White noise was buzzing in his ears.
What the hell did this mean?
Note:
Hiya, thanks for reading so far!
I thought to share that this story is inspired by a book called Her fearful symmetry by Audrey Neffenegger. It has a modern twist on Victorian ghost telling and is about a pair of twins that move into their dead aunt's apartment next to a cemetary (not bl). Also, there is actually a bl webtoon by Haribo called At the end of the road that kind of hauntingly tells a story of a teen brought back to life in another body, which often comes to my mind while I write this. Both of these tell stories of love, loss and identity. If you have time I would suggest checking these out! The webtoon is in full color with beautiful art and has been finished some time ago ♥
Edit:
Also, one of the readers mentioned that one of the ghost moments reminded them of a movie called Crimson Peak and since I do love that movie, I might have gotten some of those ghostly images from there subconsciously. It is a beautiful but chilling story of love, be sure to check it out!