TRIGGER WARNING:
MENTIONS OF ABORTION
"It's alright, let it all out..." Shoto cooed as he rubbed Izuku's back while the omega gagged over the porcelain toilet bowl-- dry heaving as throwing up was the first thing that he did as soon as he woke up.
Izuku groaned, tears stinging his eyes as his throat burned and his stomach hurt. Feeling bile rise up once more as he threw up nothing over the toilet bowl while he felt Shoto press a cold cloth over his nape to help him relax.
It has been a few days after the couple found out about Izuku's pregnancy and the signs were showing as each day passed-- Izuku was starting to have morning sickness and frequent headaches which were symptoms normal on the first trimester of a pregnancy. There were also rare moments where Izuku would be picky with food but according to the doctor, cravings were still too early to start at the fourth week-- meaning that the worse was still yet to come for Izuku and Shoto.
With the omega still uncomfortable about the fact that he was now with a child, the news about him being pregnant was strictly disclosed only to family members and to Keigo. Katsuki and the others from their batch still had no idea about it, nor did they have any clue.
Rei and Fuyumi were overjoyed upon hearing the news and were excited-- imagining what Izuku and Keigo's children would look like-- while Enji insisted that Shoto start working from home to take care of Izuku and their child. Inko was beyond happy when she found out, but then took one look at Izuku and knew that her son was battling a silent war within himself and gave Shoto some small talk.
"You have to be patient with him... He loves you more than anything else but... he's still afraid of building a new family with you. So... this unexpected pregnancy is a punch in the gut for him... I know I'll be asking much but I'll need you to be by his side,"
Those words rung over Shoto's head everytime he sees Izuku spending his time alone. He knew and he understood that Izuku wasn't ready, but Shoto was willing to take things slow for the omega to catch up despite the bubbling excitement and joy the alpha was feeling deep inside.
"Ugh..." Izuku groaned, pressing his head on the cold toilet seat to relieve his headache.
"Are you starting to feel better now?" Shoto asked as he combed Izuku that seemed to help the omega relax.
Izuku gave a nod. "I'm still a bit nauseous, but I think it's starting to die down now," he answered.
"Okay..." Shoto said, "Here, let me help you up and then I'll fix you up some tea and then we can have breakfast,"
Izuku made a face before he let Shoto lead him to the kitchen. "Can't I just drink tea? I really don't feel like eating breakfast," he whined.
"But you can't skip meals, that'll be bad for the baby," Shoto said as he got out the pan to make pancakes with. "Now, be good and drink your tea while waiting for the pancakes... okay?"
Izuku frowned but still drank his tea silently while Shoto started cooking pancakes. "Oh, by the way... next week, we'll be visiting the gynecologist for your weekly check up," Shoto said, "I'll make sure to clear up my schedule so I can come with you. By next month, I'll start working from home since the old man insisted it so I can take care of you and the baby, and--"
"Shoto," Izuku cut the alpha off wherein the dominant male turned to him, throwing his mate a questionable look.
"Yeah?" Shoto asked. "What's wrong? Do you need to throw up?"
"N-no, I... I need to talk to you about something," Izuku said as he stared down at his half-full cup of tea and played with his fingers. "Um... I... I need you to sit down with me first,"
"Okay, but I just need to finish cooking up breakfast. The baby must be starving and--"
"I want to abort the baby,"
Izuku clenched his teeth and fist while he squeezed his eyes shut as he waited for Shoto's reaction to what he just said. He had thought about it long and hard and he knew with his current state he won't be able to take care of the child properly-- resulting him to take the last resort he could think of.
"W-what?" Shoto asked, the slight waving of his voice broke Izuku's heart. "Why would you..."
Izuku forced himself to meet Shoto's eyes and the omega could clearly see the shock and disappointment in them as they met Izuku's green orbs.
"I..." Izuku started to talk but his voice trailed off. "We're too young, Sho... you can't possibly expect that we'd be able to take care of the baby properly,"
"Kirishima and Bakugo doesn't seem to have a problem with it, nor did Jiro and Kaminari,"
"Well Kirishima-kun and Jiro-san were both prepared for it... They w-wanted to build a family with their mates,"
"And you? Don't you want to have a family with me?"
"I-I do! Of course, I do, Shoto, just... just not now," Izuku said as he looked down and held his stomach.
Shoto looked at his mate for a long time before he spoke again. "No,"
"What?"
"I won't let you abort my child... our child,"
"I wasn't really asking, Shoto,"
"Well neither was I," Shoto snapped. "And if I need to tie you down so you can't go through with your plan, I'll do it,"
Izuku looked at him in disbelief and Shoto sighed in frustration.
"Look... I know you're scared about what' s about to happen in the next 9 months and after our child is born... I'm scared too," Shoto said before he walked towards Izuku and knelt before him as he grabbed the omega's trembling hands. "But whenever I see you and remember how they told us that our child is growing inside you, all my fears and worries fade away and are replaced with happiness and excitement as I try to imagine the joy our child would bring us,"
Tears escaped Izuku's eyes and Shoto immediately wiped it down." I know you're still not ready, getting pregnant at the age of twenty-one. We still both have our lives ahead of us... but despite everything, I don't regret any of this and I never will,"
Izuku looked at Shoto and saw happiness twinkling in his eyes and the omega wished he could always see them. However, the omega still couldn't bring himself to believe in his alpha's words. He wanted to believe Shoto, he wanted the alpha's words to change his decisions, but... at the back of his mind, an ugly tiny voice kept on whispering to Izuku-- telling him that Shoto didn't really mean what he's saying and that as soon as the child grows, the alpha would gradually get tired and that the spark of joy in his eyes would gradually fade until it dies down. Funnily enough, that tiny voice had the same voice as Hisashi as his words continue to echo in Izuku's mind.
If Hisashi, a beta, couldn't accept Izuku when he came out an omega. How can Shoto, and alpha, be any different?
That question remained in Izuku's mind and it had created the fear and anxiety Izuku was feeling that pushed him to make his final decision.
Sighing, Izuku wiped his tears away. "I know you mean well, Shoto... Having a family of our own and take care of our child... It's a future that I see for both of us,"
A smile crept up in Shoto's face. "Oh, Izuku, you won't regret--"
"But it's something that should remain as a vision for the future as of the moment," Izuku pursed his lips and squeezed his eyes shut before finally composing himself. "I-I'm sorry, but... My mind's already made up,"
Shoto's expression was hard to read as he stood up and went back to cooking breakfast, leaving Izuku theeting with anxiety that had the omega stand up and reach for him.
"Shoto, please understand... I'm not ready to have kids yet, I--"
"You were ready to bond with me years back... You were ready to live in with me under the same room just months ago... You were ready to marry me when you said yes..." Shoto said, his back still turned to Izuku. "So tell me, Izuku... What's stopping you from being ready in building a family with me?"
Izuku opened his mouth to answer, but closed it again when he had none.
Shoto slowly turned to him and Izuku's heart broke when he saw the disappointment and sadness in his alpha's eyes. Shoto was heartbroken to know the fact that despite everything he had done and said, he still wasn't enough to make Izuku feel safe.
"You know... Bakugo once forced me to talk to him at the school rooftop years back," Shoto said, "He wanted to know the reason why I wouldn't take you as my mate and he had called me ridiculous when I told him that I didn't want to hurt you like how my father once did to my mother... but he slapped some sense into me when he told me that despite everything you've been through-- the abuse and the heart break-- you still took risks and pined for me to claim you as your mate... You were so ready to bond with me... so ready to marry me, knowing-- in the back of your mind-- you'd build a family with me someday... and now that it's happening... Why are you suddenly backing out?"
Shoto cursed as he furiously wiped the tears that escaped his eyes." A-am I not enough? Is my love for you not enough to reassure that I would never be like my father or yours?"
"No... Shoto, you are more than enough to--"
"Then I don't understand why do you want to push this so much," Shoto snapped, making Izuku flinch. "Abortion... do you have any idea how serious of a crime is that? The child is growing because of the love we shared both as mates and as a couple and you're telling me you want to kill it? You want to kill something that was born out of our love?"
Izuku bit his lip before he spoke." I took so risks in letting you claim me, that was true... I wanted you to be by my side for the rest of our lives possible... I wanted to believe that you weren't any like those monsters I've encountered,"
"Then why don't you believe it?"
"Because I'm afraid!" Izuku yelled. "I-I'm afraid that if I let myself indulge in this happiness I would be left broken when it turns upside down... I'm afraid that the smile in your lips and the happiness reflecting your eyes would be replaced by a scowl and a look of disappointment... I'm afraid that those promises you made me would be broken in the future... I'm afraid that I'd witness my family falling apart for the second time around,"
Shoto didn't answer as Izuku sobbed.
"I love you, Shoto... and I'm willing to take risks in our relationship, but... keeping the child is a risk I'm not yet ready to take,"
Shoto turned around and turned the stove off before shoving the now burnt pancakes on his and Izuku's plate and started cleaning his mess up.
"Make sure to eat your breakfast," Shoto said as he dried his hands." I'll go and prepare myself for work,"
"Shoto, I--"
"Don't," Shoto said as he tried to push his emotions down. "You once promised me that you would be by my side every step of the way... and I promised the same... Do whatever you want with the child..."
Izuku bit his lip. "I'm sorry,"
"You're sorry about a lot of things, Izu... I'm starting to think you're feeling sorry about this relationship too,"