The dressing room slowly comes into focus. I sit there for a moment, thinking about what I had seen. My heart beats fast in my chest and my stomach ties itself in knots. I can hear my mom and Lis oohing over the outfit she chose.
I look around, there are at least ten more outfits to try on and I don't have the time. I grab the black leather jacket off my second pile and pull it on. The outfit doesn't look too bad and I'm out of time.
"Ash, you look hot!" Lis says when she catches me walking out of the stall.
"Very cute honey, "My mom nods in approval.
I lie, "This is my favorite outfit of all the ones I tried on. This is the one." I smile when I say it, hoping they will think I look more excited than I felt.
"Well let's get some lunch and head home?" My mom suggests,
My mom buys the outfits, while Lis and I chat by the store's entrance.
Lis is eyeing me, "You feeling okay Ash? Your cheeks look flushed."
Mentally kicking myself for not being honest, "Yeah, I'm good. Just a little bit nervous, that's all."
She smiles, "It's going to be great! I'm serious, think about that kiss in the hall, maybe there will be more of that tonight." She wiggles her eyebrows and giggles.
I playfully swat her arm, "Lis."
"What are you girls talking about?" Mom asks while approaching us.
Lis and I share a look, "Nothing." We say in unison.
It was a short drive over to the restaurant, we chatted about our hair and makeup. We pull up to the restaurant. My mom circles the parking lot to locate the perfect space. My mom and Lis open the doors and begin climbing out of the car. My vision blurs. I'm losing focus on the scene in front of me. I hear my phone chime, a new message. The timing perfect.
I manage to get the words out, "I'll meet you inside." I don't hear a response but I can see two figures moving away from me. My head is spinning. A dull, aching spreads over my forehead. Spiraling out from the center. A tingling sensation crawls across my skin and I taste blood in my mouth. A bitter scent fills the air.
We are standing in the middle of the park. As the sunsets, the temperature is dropping. The wind whips my hair in my face. With the gust of wind comes a chill so deep it reaches my bones. I'm standing here with the boy I love, but I'm terrified. My hands shake and I cross my arms over my chest.
"I can't do this anymore. We are moving too fast and it's scaring me," I tell him. Wet tears stream down my cheeks. My heart aches.
He looks down tears pool in his eyes. He opens his mouth and closes it again. A few moments pass us. He says, "Riley, I love you."
I look at Xavier. His green eyes sparkling with tears. I run my hand through his night-black hair. "I know and I love you. I need time. I need to process things and consider the things that are important to me."
Xavier slumps his shoulders and turns his back to me. I watch him walk away. Feeling of regret surge to the surface, but I push them back. He turns around, "Are you seeing someone else?
Taken aback by his question, feeling unsteady. Of course, he would jump to this conclusion. He was in love with me. I shake my head and answer his question, "Of course not."
His face contorts, "You are lying to me. That's the only reason you would end this. You are everything to me. I don't know what to do without you." He rushes back to me and grabs my arms. His grip tightens and tears spring into my eyes. His eyes no longer hold a hint of sadness. They are full of rage. I can feel the anger radiating off of him.
My body trembles and I begin to cry, "Let go. Please. You are hurting me." His arms drop to his sides. His face changes. A look of recognition crosses over his face before he turns around and runs in the other direction.
Relief is what I should be feeling. I can't hurt him anymore. It's over. There's nothing left to fear. As my body begins to relax, all I can feel is sorrow and fear. I am attacked by a fit of tears. I sit in the grass and cry for what feels like hours.
Finally, I have no tears left to cry. I breathe in and out, counting my breaths as I calm down. I feel the hairs rise on the back of my neck. I force myself to remain still until I hear thumps on the ground behind me. Are those footsteps. I jerk around to see who it is. There's no one there, but I can't shake the feeling of someone watching me.
"Ohmygod, ohmygod, why are you doing this to me?" I'm sobbing, hugging my arms against my chest, and rocking back and forth.
A quiet voice asks, "Are you okay?" Dark eyes are staring at me, incredulous, the woman asks, "Baby, are you okay?"
I look around, realizing that I am not in the park. I'm safe, so I respond, "Yes, I'm okay."
"Are you here by yourself? What's your name?" The woman questions me, clearly convinced there is something the matter.
"I'm fine. My name is Riley. I need to go inside and meet my mom," as soon as the words escape, I realize my mistake. I am not Riley, I am Ashlynn. I force myself to walk faster.
I walk into the restaurant. Mom and Lis are sitting at a corner table. I scan the restaurant for the restroom. Mom notices me enter and waves. I wave back, then point to the restroom. Rushing towards the bathroom, I fail to notice Jordan stepping out of the male restroom and I smack into him.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't see you, and I was in a hurry," the words fly out of my mouth.
His eyes meet mine, a smile breaks across his face. He shakes his head, "Chill, it's no big deal. I didn't see you either, hence the collision." I watch as his eyes take in my wet cheeks and puffy eyes. He says nothing about them, "Well, I will see you at school." He takes my hand in his, "I hope you have a nice night." I watch him return to his table. An older man is sitting there. He looks just like him. I imagine it is his dad.
In the bathroom, I wet a towel and wipe it across my cheeks. Carefully drying underneath my eyes. I don't want to mess up my mascara. Scanning my reflection, I decide I look okay, and return to my mom and Lis.
I must have cleaned up well because they didn't notice I'd been crying. Instead, they smile and point to my seat.
"So, what was that about?" Lis questions me.
I force a smile, "Nothing, it's Kory asking if we were still on."
"What a thoughtful boy, giving you a chance to back out. Little does he know, you've spent the entire day getting ready," mom teases.
I smile and listen to Lis go on about Kory. My mom steals all the details from her, Lis happy to spill. I join, correcting Lis and adding to the conversation. The rest of the meal passes uneventfully. During the ride home, I sat quietly and let Lis run the conversation.
My mind was elsewhere thinking about Riley. Praying that we were okay; The dreams are real. The memories imprinted on my soul. I play with the idea of talking to Jordan about it, but for now, It's time to finish getting ready for our dates.
Lis and I pour our makeup out. We set up the extra mirror and start warming the curling iron. We help each other apply our makeup and laugh at the hilarious faces we each make. We finish our eyeliner and look at the mirror to check out our handiwork. Lis finishes her inspection first and takes to the stairs to find my mom.
I watch her go before turning back to the mirror. I gasp and jerk away. Riley is staring back at me from inside the mirror. My heart pounds in my chest. I close my eyes and count to ten, taking in deep breaths. When I open my eyes she's gone.
Footsteps in the hallway attract my attention. My mom's face peeks around the door, "Are you ready for me to curl your hair?"
"Yes, the final touch, then I am ready," I say, biting my lip.
She smiles and draws circles on my back, "Everything will be perfect."
I relax a little as she curls my hair. I tell her about Kory, "He really is sweet mom, you will love him."
"If you like him and he's nice to you, that's all it takes. I like him already," mom tells me. "How old is he? Are you in the same grade?" She asks.
"Yes, he's in my grade. I think he's seventeen," I guess.
She smirks at me, "You think he's seventeen?"
I clarify, "Well, he's either sixteen or seventeen. I will have to find out tonight."
"It's time for the finishing touch! Close your eyes and let me spray it," I do as she says.
We check in on Lis in the bathroom. She's finished her hair and is taking selfies. She spots me and waves for me to come over, "We should take pictures!"
I step over to her and smile as she snaps away. I glance at my mom, "Come here, take a picture with us!"
She joins us and we take a couple of pictures with funny faces. We swipe through them, laughing at our expressions. The doorbell rings. My stomach jumps, realizing it's time to go.