By the time we've arrived to Shadow, Harry's anger seems to have died down a little bit. He continues to stare out the window, but his breathing is normal and his hands are solid. We haven't spoken at all and the silence is unbearable. I can't wait to go up in my room and be left alone. I do wonder why Harry came with me to Shadow when he could have just had Henry take me back. Suppose he doesn't trust me, considering I practically almost killed myself. Not the smartest decision, I even know, but when he made me feel worthless, my whole existence became worthless.
"Step out" Harry says just as Henry opens up my side door. I do as he says and by the time I step out of the vehicle, Harry is standing outside too. He looks at me with an emotionless face and I stay still, watching his eyes.
"Good day, Sir" Henry disputes before getting back into the car. My feet shift in their place as Harry keeps his eyes on me. I look down at the ground occasionally and everytime I look back up to him, he stays staring. Henry slowly pulls away and now nothing separates Harry and I.
I wait for him to do something or tell me to do something, but instead he throws his hands in his pockets and shrugs his shoulders.
"So..." I drag.
"What's it going to be, Ellie?" He finally speaks.
"What's what going to be?"
"You. What do you want?" He asks me a bizarre question. My eyebrows scrunch up in confusion.
"Why are you asking me what I want? Can I please just go inside?" I grow annoyed. My arms fly up to my chest and cross together. He takes a couple of steps forward, bringing us a little closer.
"You obviously want more to life, otherwise you wouldn't have almost gave yourself away. Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you." He raises his eyebrows and my cheeks heat up from anger. Who does he think he is to ask me what I want? He knows exactly what I want and he can't give it to me. Theres nothing Id rather have, then his love in return.
"You know what I want" I spit. He knows what I'm talking about because his face changes.
"You can't have... that." He looks at the ground, then back to me.
"That's all I want." I close my eyes and frown.
"Something else, Ellie. What could make you happier. Please, I don't want you to try something stupid again." His attitude is confusing. If he doesn't love me, why does he care if I'm happier or not?
He is offering me things to make me happy and the only other thing that would make me happy again is to have Esmay back, but sadly that won't happen.
"Niall and Ruby." I mumble after a moment of silence. They're important to me and if I can't be happy, then I want them to be.
"What about them?"
"They can be together. I want them to be together." I say and his eyes narrow.
"That's against my rules, Ellie." He frowns.
"Well that's what will make me happy- Their happiness." I stand my ground. Harry closes his eyes before running a hand through his hair. I take the moment to notice how much longer it has gotten. Almost to his shoulders.
"Not that" He pouts.
"That's all I want, Harry.... I mean, Master." I quickly correct myself, I don't know if he's okay with me calling him, Harry still. He almost smiles, which makes me tingle inside from how beautiful he looks when he tries to hold it back. He keeps a still face and stays on me for a few seconds. I raise my eyebrows, waiting for his answer.
"Fine" He huffs and I'm stunned.
"What? Really!?" I thought he wasn't going to let it happen.
"Yes, but they have to keep it a secret," He says. "I don't want everyone thinking that it's okay."
"Oh my god, thank you!" I step into his arms unwillingly. I'm very excited that he's going to let them be together! At least Ruby and Niall can be happy.
Once I notice that I'm in Harry's arms, I quickly step back and out of his chest.
"Sorry" I mutter, looking down at the ground. I hear him lightly chuckle and I glance up to him. His eyes and small smile is warm, making my heart beat fast. I look away from him, not being able to handle my feelings for him. I wish I didn't love him.
"It's ok," he smiles.
"Can I see Ruby?" I ask and he nods his head.
* * * * *
"I don't know how to thank you enough, Ellie. This is such good news." Shes almost in tears by the time I'm done telling her that her and Niall can be together.
She hasn't gotten from bed in a week because Louis had to remove the fetus and now she's in a lot of pain. I feel so bad for her. What Harry did was awful and if I was her, I don't think even I would be able to forgive him.
Harry stays standing by the door with his head down. He hasn't said anything since we've been in here and Ruby hasn't said nothing to him either. By the way she occasionally glares over at him, I can tell she hates his guts.
"How did you convince Master to let this happen?" She whispers to me, looking over to Harry. His eyes are on his hands as he plays with the rings on his fingers.
"It doesn't matter" I smile.
She doesn't bug the question anymore, which makes me happy and instead she grabs me into a hug again. I make sure not to push on her stomach too hard as I give her a returned hug.
"Where's Niall? When can I see him?" She looks so happy and my heart warms at how glad she is.
"Like Ellie said, you need to be secretive." Harry brings our attention to him. He stands tall, showing the power in his words.
"Of course, Sir." Ruby nods her head.
"I'll let you see Niall when you're better." He begins to walk towards us and I give him a small smile before standing from Ruby's bed. He steps by my side just as the door to her bedroom opens up. Louis walks inside, wearing his white coat. His eyes find mine and they light up until he notices Harry standing beside me.
"Master Harry" He greets, ignoring me on purpose. I can tell Louis still isn't aloud to speak to me by the way Harrys face has suddenly turned upset.
"Would you like me to come back later?" He steps back towards the door.
"No," Harry stops him. "Its fine, we were just leaving."
Harry grabs my hand and I gaps when my body whips with his pull. I turn and give Ruby a quick friendly goodbye. Louis moves from the door and keeps his eyes glued to the ground.
I really wish Harry wouldn't care if Louis and I talked. He was a good friend and It really makes me upset that Harry is still mad about him helping me.
"I know something else that would make me happy" I point out as Harry closes Ruby's door.
He lets go of my hand and closes his eyes before letting out a low groan. I can tell he knows what I'm going to say, but asks me what it is instead.
"If you would let Louis and I ateast say hi to each other." I mumble, afraid of what his reaction will be.
He narrows his eyes on me before rolling them, "Okay."
"Okay as in?"
"You can speak with him at most." He agrees and I smile at him.
"Let's go." He tilts his head towards the elevators, deeper in the hallway.
"Where are we going?"
"To my room." He shrugs before grabbing my hand and pulling me beside him. My skin ignites with chills and my stomach flies from his small touch.
"You cant do that, Master" I pull off from his hand, making him stop his feet from walking. He looks at me with confusion and I shoot my eyes at his hand. He realizes and puts it back down at his side.
"Having you do that and me knowing that you feel nothing of it, makes me upset." I explain and he looks down at his hands before moving his ring around.
"Right. I understand." He says.
I begin walking towards the elevator once again, but I stop when I Harry stays standing in the same spot.
"You coming?" I ask confused when he keeps looking at his hands. He glances up to me before opening his mouth.
"Ellie..." He begins and I'm confused by his sudden change in behavior. He's acting weird again. His mood swings are worse than anyone I've ever known.
"Yes?"
"Never mind." he shakes his head and walks towards the elevators, with me following behind him, fully confused.
"Let me take you to your room." He pushes the button.
"I thought we were going to your room?" I can't help, but feel sad that I'm not going to his bedroom. I know I shouldn't be around him, but I love just being with him, even if we aren't communicating or doing anything. I remember him saying that we weren't going to spend as much time together- maybe he just remembered saying that now.
"I know, but I don't think that's a good idea." The doors open and he steps inside. I think back to when he would always make me sleep in the same bed as him. My stomach flutters at the thought and I want to slap myself for telling him that I don't want him touching me anymore. I almost tell him to forget what I said and let him show me affection even if he doesn't love me or feel anything of it. Instead I do the right thing and stay quiet before stepping into the elevator next to him.
"To my room it is," I say just as the elevator doors close shut.
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