*the bittersweetness of arriving in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self*
Also, hello? Why are you guys so handsome? 👆👆
And who else is excited for the new single and the new album? 🤩🤩🤩🤩 I can't wait!
Back to the story. 😬
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Years later.
It had been 4 years since Cho hee was born. My angel.
Ènouement.
This word exactly described my life. If I had known that my life would turn out this way, happy, with me contently doing my job and sharing my time with a precious daughter, I would have spent my prime years in a better way, without worrying.
But that was just how life rolled. I laughed every time I thought of the times, I stressed myself over petty things, not knowing that they didn't matter and that I would be fine. I would have had much more fun, had I been more carefree.
I turned 30, officially entering the age of motherhood and being a grown woman. I was managing life pretty well and living great.
"Mom, can we go already? I can't wait!" My baby called out to me.
She was four now, and enrolled in playschool. She made friends and had fun in her own ways. I loved watching her grow up. She was my archangel. She was the reason I was alive to say the least, I would have disappeared long before, had it not been for her.
"Yes of course! Let uncle come. We'll leave then." I replied, crouching down and setting her clothes straight.
"Damn baby, you look so pretty!" I told her looking her up and down.
The sound of laughter entered my ears and I looked at her in awe.
She behaved Just. Like. Her. Father.
She grew shy, covering her face with her sweater paws. Oh God. She was so cute. I was a proud Momma. I didn't know what I did to deserve her.
"Kisses please." I showed her my cheek. And she kissed it.
"Here?" I showed her my other cheek and she kissed it too, giggling.
"Here?" I showed her my forehead.
"Mom!" She started laughing.
"Then I'll attack you with kisses." I smirked and caged her with my hug, kissing every single inch of her face, making her laugh and push me away.
A car honked, getting our attention and driving us apart.
"Uncle is here. Let's go!" I took her tiny hand in mine and left for Dae hyun's car.
We were going to Seoul. It was Cho hee's first time visiting Seoul.
And yours too.
And mine. After I moved here.
I had barely spent an hour or more there while registering her nationality and stuff and returned right back. That place just held too many memories for me to go back and relive each of them.
They weren't exactly bad memories but I missed Jimin a lot. Way too much to let myself go through all that pain again.
"Here we are." Dae hyun said to us. It was a long freaking journey and Cho was asleep. "I'll hold her. Relax and shake your legs a bit." He said to me, taking the sleeping Cho into his arms. I smiled at him, admiring his gentlemanly charms. I pecked his lips, taking him by surprise. He blushed and looked away making me laugh.
I was thankful for him. I owed him my life. He gave me the courage that I was likeable. He loved me despite all my flaws. He gave me the confidence that I was someone of worth too.
He gave me everything that Jimin had given me and taken away in an instant.
I stepped into the city, looking around at the familiar places that I had been in. Nostalgia hit me hard, making me let a huge breath out.
"Let's go." Dae hyun said to me, standing by my side.
It felt like a movie. Like I was going to start a new life. Me, my daughter and a man who sacrificed himself for us.
"I don't feel good...."
I couldn't even finish the sentence when I was interrupted by him.
"Why? Are you sick?" He was looking at me keenly, standing in front of me now.
What did he like in me to take care of me this well?
"I'm afraid. I was afraid of what would happen if I came here again. Too many things happened here Dae hyun." I looked at the floor.
He lifted my face up with one hand, the other still holding Cho, who was sleeping peacefully on his chest.
"Don't be. Let him go. We're all happy and are here now. That is all that matters." I smiled at him, eyes glistening.
"Please don't cry, I don't want to get scolded by your daughter for making you cry." He chuckled, pulling me into a hug.
"Why are you all squeezing me?"
Cho was up.
"You were all excited to visit Seoul. Now look who's asleep!" Dae hyun said to her and then she looked around in surprise.
"We're here?" She jumped off of his hands and ran forward when I called out to her.
"Cho!"
She turned back to look at me and after seeing my stern expression she sighed, walking back to me.
"What did I tell you before coming here?"
"No running and that I should always stay with you and uncle." She said monotonously.
"Then follow it or we're going right back."
"Okay." She replied, face drooping as she came stood by my side, holding my outstretched hand in hers.
"Aww. It's okay. Where is the cheerful baby I know? Mom just wants you to be safe." Dae hyun spoke to her as we started walking.
"And you, cut her some slack! She's just excited." He whispered to me.
"That's not a reason to run around. You have to be careful with kids Dae hyun. Anything could happen." I replied in a dry voice.
He sighed. "Please don't dampen her spirits. That's just how kids are. You be careful with her instead of asking her to do it."
I glared at him making him look away.
"I want you both happy that's all. I want her to be safe too. Stop glaring at me like that."
Good intent didn't always bring good results. True. His reply made me smile. He was just too sweet.
We visited several places and now we were at the mall. Cho just wanted to look at EVERYTHING everywhere. I had never seen her more excited. I was content with just watching her be happy.
"Stay here, I'll be back." Dae hyun said to me and I nodded in response.
"Mom can we go to that shop?" Cho asked me and I looked at where she was pointing.
I stooped down to look at her. "Of course. But you do remember what mom told you earlier right? We can't buy a lot of stuff." She nodded excited and pulled my hands pointing at the toy store.
I taught her the value of money right from when she started talking. She had to know that money wasn't easy and that I wasn't rich. I earned just enough to provide us both the basic amenities.
I chuckled, letting her lead me. We were walking when a voice called out to me.
"Saura?"
I turned back instinctively...... and wished I had never done it.
My eyes were met with a face covered by a mask, but I could recognize it nonetheless. My face visibly contorted into fear as my grip on Cho tightened.
His eyes travelled down as he looked at Cho. My instincts led me to hide her from him, pushing her behind me.
"Mom please let's go faster. Pleaseee..." She pulled on my hand as I shut my eyes in desperation.
Please don't ask me anything.
They were the last people I wanted to meet and I didn't want them to know about me at all.
"Jin! We're going there..." Another person joined Jin, who was standing in front of me with eyes just looking at Cho and me.
"Saura?" The other person said as he stepped closer to me, making me take a step back.
And then it took him a few moments to grasp the situation as Cho caught his attention. His surprise was evident despite the mask covering his face.
"Who's kid is that?" He asked me, eyes wide. I felt intimidated, thankfully Jin held him back.
"Mom, who is this uncle?" Cho asked me.
I wanted so bad for her to shut up for a while and stop giving away details about my life to them.
"Mom?" Tae asked me. I couldn't meet his eyes.
Why was I feeling guilty? I hadn't done anything wrong.
You kept a child away from her father.
I did. But those were the circumstances I was in.
Whatever they were, what you did was wrong.
My conscience kept killing me all these years and it just got worse.
My eyes looked around for him. Jimin.
Pathetic.
I knew. But I couldn't help but look for him. I missed him and was curious too. I teared up.
"Anything wrong? Do you know them?" Dae hyun came towards us and stopped in front of me defensively. "Can I help you?"
No, not now. No.
He asked Jin and Tae. I looked at them curiously, wanting to know their reaction. They looked at Dae hyun, curious, and then Jin's eyes lit with recognition.
He pulled his mask down for a short while as he spoke to Dae hyun. "Nice meeting you again."
Dae hyun's eyes grew wide in shock as he looked at them both and then at me.
I was so overwhelmed at this point that tears had started falling down my cheeks. I sniffed and hid my face in my coat, turning away. Dae hyun held me by my shoulder as a gesture of comfort.
I shrugged it off, as discreetly as I could.
They probably thought Cho was Dae hyun and my kid.
I felt terrible. I didn't want to hurt Dae hyun but I didn't want them to get the wrong idea that I was with him.
Yes I did behave like a girlfriend when I was with him, but I didn't love him.
My heart was still with Jimin.
I felt disgusted at my own feelings making me cry harder.
"Mom why are you crying?" Cho asked me worriedly and Dae hyun picked her up.
"She is not. She just got something in her eye." He told her.
"No she is." Cho argued, trying to get out of his arms. "Uncle let go."
There. She said it. Problem solved.
Now they would ask for the father.
I turned away, crying my eyes out, we were attracting way too many eyes, making them look at us.
I felt arms wrap around my shoulder and a voice said, "Let's go somewhere safe."
Tae.
I shook my head, I wanted to run away from all this mess. He turned me around and picked my face in his hands. "Please?"
I looked at Cho, who was looking at us, eyes wide, in Dae hyun's arms.
This was the first time she was seeing me in such close proximity with a guy that wasn't Dae hyun.
Of course she would be shocked.
Dae hyun walked towards us and Cho immediately jumped into my arms. I gladly took her into my arms, feeling solace. She hugged me immediately asking me not to cry. She calmed me down. As always.
"Go talk." Dae hyun said to me.
I felt sorry for him. The guy tried so hard to get something that belonged to someone else.
I saw myself in him.
I gulped down and nodded.
"I'll take her with me." He reached out for Cho when I took a step back shaking my head.
He bit down on his lip and nodded. "Call me when you're done." He said before leaving.
I wanted to hug him and apologize for being such a sh*tty person. But I just couldn't.
"Wait!" I said, my voice broken.
He turned to look at me.
"I'm sorry." I apologized as a tear rolled down my cheek. He just looked at me with a forlorn face. I felt extremely bad for putting him through the sh*t I was going through. He just gave a curt nod and left.
I broke down, almost falling to my knees after he left. Tae held me up straight, and I held onto him for balance.
I felt like the worst being on earth.
I broke the guy's heart when mine was already broken.
"Mom why are you crying? I'll not go to that shop if you don't want me to. Don't cry." She said.
Her words were so innocent and I put up a smile to calm her.
"I just got something in my eye. Nothing is wrong."
"Hi! what's your name?" Jin asked her and she replied, "Cho hee Roy."
"Roy?" Tae looked at me, followed by Jin. I didn't take my eyes off Cho, not wanting to see them.
"Cho hee, I'm Jin. Call me uncle. Do you want to go to that shop with me?" He asked, taking me by surprise.
I looked at him, eyes wide.
"Yes..." Cho hee replied and then looked at me. "No, I'll go with mom."
I was proud of my baby.
Jin looked at me for permission and I honestly didn't know what to reply.
"Let them go. We need to talk. You trust us right?" Tae asked, making me think if I really trusted them.
Well, they wouldn't run away with Cho or kidnap her. I slowly nodded and looked at Cho.
"Do you want to go to the shop with uncle?" I asked her.
She looked at me shocked. "I can? Yes please!"
I smiled and pushed her wavy hair behind her ears. Her hair was just like mine, jet black and wavy.
"Just be careful and don't pester him. Be a good girl, okay? "
"I promise." She said excited as she was taken away from my arms into Jin's.
Giving her away actually hurt. Now I was all alone with no one that I could hide behind. I was defenseless and I hated it.
"I'll take care of her. You guys talk." He left with Cho, talking with her. They looked like they were having fun.
"Whose child is that? " Tae asked me, making me bring my attention back to him, pulling me out of my makeshift safe hole.
"Saura?"
A new voice called out as I met the eyes of the owner with my own.
This was going to be a long day.
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Author's Note:
Sorry for the delay everyone. I was really busy for the past few days. Anyways let's hop onto the story. We are nearing the climax of the book and it's making me sad. 🥺🥺
This was the very first scenario that came into my mind when I thought about this story. All that I wrote until now was created later on. I am happy now, putting it down into words, finally, after so many months. So this chapter is officially the beginning of the story that I was about to write.😍
Please do comment and let me know how you feel about the current direction of the story. By the way, this was originally meant to be a sad story with a happy ending. (Dropping the spoiler like it's no big deal. 😏)
So we'll get the happy ending we all want.
Until then, I had taken these pictures and was itching to post them here. LOOK AT THEM! Look at Jimin. I'm dying.😭😭😭