Harieth
One hard step after the other, I watched as he progressed at walking. A smile curled up on my face. He was doing it and sooner than later, he'll be back to his old self. He'll forget I was ever in it and... damn it, I can't even think of what comes next after that.
I looked away from him.
What am I doing here? Watching him from afar will change nothing. It won't change the fact that our relationship is messed up and that I can never have him in my life, at least, not the way I desire.
Unable to help it, I looked up to him and watched as the nurse helped him have his seat on one of the benches in the park. She said something to him, he nodded and she went away.
There, he sat in quiet, his walking cane in one hand and with the other, he gave a light massage to his legs. I wished I could help but I couldn't. I know I was being stupid, hiding out here, in a hood, stalking behind a tree.
I learnt his daily exercising routine and started the habit of tailing and watching him during those moments. He doesn't know but that's good enough for me.
Suddenly, he looked my direction, our eyes met and immediately, I hid away. My heart raced beneath my ribs. I hope he hasn't seen me. After a while, I looked once more but... he was gone.
I stepped outside my hiding spot and looked around but to no avail. Where did he disappear to in such a short period of time? Perhaps, did he take notice that I was here?
I shook my head in disapproval. No way, I'm dressed way too different to be noticed by him.
He's gone.
My subconscious concluded and I let out a sigh as I turned away only to draw to a halt right away. My eyes widened in surprise as I stared at the person in front of me, who, also, stared back with a little disbelief in his eyes.
"It's... it's really you." He stated as his eyes never left me. It has been so long since I had me in front of me or heard his voice up-close. In that moment, I realized how much I'd truly missed him.
A thought of throwing my arms around him for the longest embrace went across my mind but my body felt a little reluctant at that. Perhaps, because the will in my head disagreed with that.
I looked away from him to find the words that best suit this situation. Finally, I opened my mouth as I looked back up to him. Suddenly, in that moment, he threw his arms around me, engulfing me in the warmest embrace.
"I've missed you so much." He confessed as his hold got tighter as if I would sprint away at any minute.
In that moment, I shut my eyes to stop the tears and restrained the urge to hold him back. In one pull, I pulled away from his embrace much to his confusion.
"I... I have to go." I quickly stated as I lowered my eyes away from his and attempted walking past him.
He took hold of my arm forcing me to draw to a stop.
"No... you don't." He added rather sincerely and I just couldn't look up to him. I couldn't meet his eyes for fear of losing my will to keep going.
"I love you Harieth and I understand waiting those years must have been tough for you. I understand why you would walk away the way you did. I... I'm not angry with you. I just... I love you too much to let go so easily. I want to try. I want to make it up to you. I want to..."
"Just stop!" I exclaimed as I turned to him. The tears had gathered my eyes, ready to roll down my cheeks but I still couldn't look up to him.
"You did nothing wrong. You spent those years of your life unconscious because drove the car that day. Everything's my fault, not yours and that's why you need to sign the divorce papers so everything in your life can return to normal."
"Normal? You mean sad and lonely because that was my life before you came along." His words forced my eyes up to his face, to meet his eyes.
"What is this Harieth? What are you trying to do? I never knew you to be a martyr of some sort. You've always been bold and brave, refusing to care about the consequences of your actions... Is our love so little that you think so much about the consequences that might follow? I don't blame you for anything. If that faithful day were to repeat, I will always choose your life over mine because that's how much you mean to me."
I bursted out into tears. Does he have to have such good ways with words?
"You're an idiot." I told him amidst tears, unable to control them. I felt his arms around me once more and this time, I wrapped my arms around his waist to accept the hug as I wept a whole lot more. The memories of the past with him lying so helplessly on the bed flashed through my mind and I couldn't stop crying. To think I almost took my own life.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything, the accident, giving up on everything. I'm sorry." I had to apologize, and yet, it felt like it wasn't enough. Nothing I could say would be enough.
* * *
While my head rested on his shoulder, I unknowingly let out a sigh of relief as I stared into space. In the end, I'm back home, in his arms where I belong.The thought of everything eventually being okay set me a little at peace and yet, I couldn't stop my mind from wandering off.
"What's on your mind?" His voice interrupted my thoughts and I couldn't stop myself from looking up to his face. At the sight of it, a smile curled up my face and I'm reminded just how happy and satisfying he makes me feel.
I stared silently into space for a while, wondering where to start from or how to explain what my thoughts are.
"When I was ten years old, I was kidnapped alongside my mum and they demanded a certain ransom from my father. I remember feeling so scared and wishing I could go home... One night, somehow, mum was able to figure out a way for our escape. Turns out, we were in an unfamiliar forest... It rained so heavily that running fast enough seemed impossible. The men were fast on our trails and then we stopped... she... She hugged and kissed me on the forehead then she asked me to run as fast as I could without looking back, she was going to stall them for as long as she could." I gulped down hard as recollecting the memory was hard for me but he needed to hear this, he needed to understand my past.
"I couldn't keep at it. I couldn't leave her behind so I turned and began making my way back to her. I saw her. She stood boldly in front of the men and seemed ready to stop either of them from getting past her... One amongst them spotted me, he pulled the gun at me and ordered I return back to them right away but I just... stood. Mum looked my side one last time and yelled run as she fought for the hold on the gun. I turned away in fear and began running then I heard it... gun shot. I turned and... her body laid lifeless on the ground... she was gone. She was dead... That's when it started. I froze, neither able to move or hear anything."
I looked back up to his face and met his eyes.
"The trauma of that night acts up anytime it rains. I'm sorry that accident ever happened. You shouldn't have been caught in all this..." His lips locked with mine as he drew me closer into his arms.
"You're my wife and I love you. Your problem is mine as well so stop apologizing." He added as his lips slightly left mine. I couldn't help the smile that surfaced afterwards.
"Thank you. Thank you for loving me regardless of everything about me."
He smiled.
"No, thank you for coming into my life."
We both smiled at each other before he drew closer for yet another intense kiss.
Christian
"Christian. Christian." Lucas called just as I turned away in a hurry to leave the boardroom right after the meeting was over. Although, in a hurry, I had to turn back to him. Once in front of him, I watched as he took notice of the fact that room was yet to be empty.
"I can't talk for long. I'm in a hurry." I had to let him know. I watched as light sigh eluded his lips, somehow giving away the fact that what he wants to say is a bit difficult for him.
"I still don't think coming back to work this early is good for you."
"You don't need to worry about me. I'm fine and besides, I have Harieth. She has been a big help." I told him the truth.
I watched as another sigh left his lips. It made me wonder what was eating at him. It was quite unlike Lucas to beat around the bush.
"Lucas..."
"I don't think Harieth is good for you. I mean... she lied and then she disappeared the way she did. There's a huge possibility she's just like her father. You need to think this through." His words came out rather quick.
For a moment, I was silent, staring and it seemed I'd given in.
"It seems you preferred me better as sad and lonely or better yet... do I keep up with the feelings I had towards your wife."
"Christian..."
"I love Harieth. I would appreciate it better if you accept that and behave less like my mother." With that I turned away and found my way out of the room without sparing a look back.
I felt a weight lift off my chest. It felt nice and satisfying saying those words out. How long I'd bottled them in and pretended everything was okay. Finally, I'm okay.
I stepped out of the elevator, a few steps forward, I stopped and looked around for any sight of my wife.
"Christian."
I looked the direction of her voice and caught her smiling broadly as she waved for my attention. I smiled back, letting her know I'd seen her. The smile never left my face as I walked up to her.
"Sorry I'm late." I apologized as I threw my arm around her neck then began walking towards the exit together.
She shook her head.
"It's okay. In the end, you're here."
Her words forced my eyes to her side and caught her staring back at me, the look in her eyes, that of admiration and in that moment, I knew I'd be safe with her.
Finally, I've found my better half.