Song - You broke me first by Tate McRae.
Now suddenly you're asking for it back
Could you tell me, where'd you get the nerve?
Yeah, you could say you miss all that we had
But I don't really care how bad it hurts
When you broke me first
You broke me first...i
Logan's POV
I watched as Emma drove off in the rain without looking back. It still felt very surreal to me that she left. She actually left me - again. I wanted to get into one of my cars and follow her but she was already far ahead. God, why did I let her leave? I could have done something.
I walked back inside, soaking wet from the rain . My clothes were dripping water on the floor.
" Oh my, I'll get you a towel." Greta said when she saw me.
" I don't need a fucking towel, I just need to be alone!" I snapped as I moved past her leaving her shocked. I walked into my office and slammed the door hard. I felt rage, I felt anger, I felt exasperated and I felt bad that I had just taken it out on Greta.
It still felt like a dream to me. Emma actually packed her stuff and left me. I paced around the room drastically thinking of what to do , how to get her back. I know I fucked up. I fucked up big time but in my defence, if Jake Hartley and his maniac of a father hadn't launched a cyber attack on my company then I wouldn't have lost track of the time.
It was one mistake. One stupid mistake. Why wouldn't she just forgive me? I know that I've been an asshole recently especially because of the pregnancy but I really cannot help myself. Why can't Emma accept me as I am? I'm not perfect. No one is. I don't mean to act the way I do. I didn't mean to hurt or disappoint her. If only I knew how important going for the ultrasound with her was, I would have been more careful with the time. I wanted to kick myself for allowing myself to get distracted by Lisa and Orange Inc . but I had to save my company. I couldn't let Orange Inc get what they wanted.
" Oh Logan , I'm sure you would say anything to get you out of this. I don't even know why I believed you in the first place. I should have known that you agreeing to come with me to the hospital was too good to be true."
The disappointment laced in her voice when she said this wanted to tear me apart. She sounded like it was a big mistake for her to ever trust me. I could imagine her sitting in the room , waiting for me to come . All the calls , all her texts . Fuck . I messed up . I messed up big time .
" Then why didn't you show up, Logan.Why weren't you there for me when I needed you the most? I was scared. I waited for hours and you didn't show up. You made me look like a fool sitting there and waiting for you ."
I'm so sorry , Emma.
" Oh my God. I can't believe you Logan . Now you're blaming Jake and his father for your inability to keep your promises?"
The worst part is that she didn't even believe me when I told her about Orange Inc.She probably thought I was using the fact that I hated that she took a job with him as an excuse for not showing up . She thought it was because of the fight we had this morning but it was so much more than that . I wonder how Jake got her to work with him. I couldn't believe she trusted Jake . I couldn't believe she went to the same high school with him. That's probably what he used to brainwash her. Emma doesn't know what she's getting into. Everyone knows the business world is full of deceitful snakes . You can never really know the real ones and heaven knows that if there's anyone in the business world who couldn't be trusted , it was Ben Hartley and his son.
" I don't care Logan . I don't care what it was . You made your choice. You chose what was most important to you and once again I'm at the end of the food chain. If it's not your company , then it's your ex wife but I'm always last."
The pain in her eyes when she said this made me feel very horrible . Every word she spoke was laced with hurt and regret. I wished I could unsee it . I wished I could make her smile at me Instead but she was crying and there was not . I tried to do hard to put Emma first but I had my company to protect and Well, Amy. God knows I couldn't just push Amy and her memories out of my life like that . I missed her so much . She was my first everything. The mother of my kids. How did Emma expect me to just push her out of me and my kids lives just like that? I was very sure Alex, Jason, Avery still missed her so much.
" All I needed was for you to show me that you still cared. All I wanted was for you to show me that you would at least try to be present in the life of this baby. All I've ever wanted from you was for you to love me but it's obvious you never did . I always felt like an option instead of a choice."
I felt her sinking into deeper sadness and it felt like there was nothing I could do about it. Emma was important to me. She had become an important part of my life since I fell in love with her and I've shown her how much she means to me. Why didn't she see that?
"It's easy for you to say you love me but recently I haven't felt your love. I can't see it either. I can only hear you say it and words are not enough , Logan. When I needed you to show me how much you loved me, you weren't there."
I begged her not to leave me because I need her . I need her because I'm a broken man. Emma was my only sanity. I didn't know how I would survive without her. When the rain started falling, I thought that would make her stay but I was wrong .
" And this baby needs me more. I've realized that no matter what I do, you will never love or want this baby and I've accepted it. I'm going to do this without you."
I couldn't believe that she would chose the baby over me. That was one of the reasons why I didn't want a baby in the first place. I didn't want Emma to love someone else more than me. I wanted her undivided love and attention and now that baby had succeeded in taking everything away from me .
" By the way, it's a girl."
I remembered how I felt dizzy when she told me the gender of the baby. A girl. Hearing it made this all very real to me. Emma was having a baby girl. A baby girl that she would give all her love and attention to. A baby girl that I would have to share Emma with. I kept begging her to stay. I didn't want to lose her.
" You're not sorry, Logan. You'll say anything to make me stay but I'm this time, I'm really done . I'm not going to be used as a doormat anymore."
But you're not a doormat Emma.
That's what I should have said but instead, I went ahead and said something stupid and regretted it immediately.
" So this it huh? After everything we've been through you just want to leave me. Why do you always run away from your problems? I'm not the only one who has broken a promise , am I?"
I watched Emma stop at the door for a few seconds. That's when I knew that I had really fucked up big time. I didn't mean to say it but it just came out of my mouth. I didn't even realize that I had been holding that in for a long time. I had been keeping this in my mind and I didn't even realize it. Maybe I was waiting for a good opportunity to use it against her and I just did .
"I know I messed up by leaving you and running back home and I apologized. But Logan , this is your problem to solve not mine."
I tried to apologize but she looked like she didn't even give a shit about what I was saying. She looked like she wanted to be as far away from me as possible. Why did I always make things worse?
I watched walk away. Luke wanted to follow her but the look she gave him made him change his mind . Then she got in her car and when I was about to go after her under the rain she drove off leaving me standing there desperate and screaming her name .
How could she do this to me? How could she just leave ? She promised not to leave me anymore. I had to get her back . I couldn't let her leave me like this .
The sound of my phone ringing rudely interrupted my plots on how to get Emma back.
" What ?!" I shouted at the phone .
" Logan , It's me ." The voice on the other end of the line sounded like Mr Brown.
" Mr Brown not now . Call me some other time ."
" It's James and No , I can't call you some other time . This is important."
" Fine . What is it ?"
" I managed to get access to Daniel Brian's emails. I had to get my hands dirty for this one. I saw that few weeks before the rumors were released , he had been sending and receiving emails to someone . There were also phone calls in his call log from an unknown number. Luckily Daniel wasn't very smart and he didn't delete the messages but the images and videos were deleted. The annoying part of this is that the email address of the person can't be traced."
" How does this help in anyway if you haven't found the person's identity?" I asked impatiently. He was wasting my time. The time I would have been using to make plans how to get Emma to come back home.
" While that is a major setback, at least now we know that Daniel was forced to release the rumors. So we can add this unknown person to our list of possible murderers."
" So you're saying that this mystery person might be the person who murdered Daniel ?"
" Yes but It's not certain yet . I'll send you screenshots of the emails."
In a matter of seconds, the screenshots appeared in my phone.
DanielBrian@gmail.com
12/6/2019
- Why do I have to do this? This isn't right.
Unknown
13/6/2019
- You don't want to mess with me , Daniel. I will make your life miserable if you don't do this.
DanielBrian@gmail.com
20/6/2019
- Hey, my girlfriend was in an accident today . Did you have anything to do with it? Please leave her out of this. I'll do whatever you want.
22/6/2019
- That was just the tip of the iceberg. Now you know what I'm capable of. Work with me and no harm will come to you or your girlfriend. Refuse, and watch not only your girlfriend but your whole family die right in front of your eyes. I'll start with your five year old daughter , Heather.
DanielBrian
22/6/2029
- Please don't hurt my daughter . I'll do anything you ask . Just please don't bring my family into this."
Unknown
- You know what to do then.
I didn't have time to read through the rest of the screenshots but the ones I just read proved that this case was getting more complicated and out of hand. With what I just read, I knew that whoever did this was outrightly trying to ruin me and Emma and was capable of dangerous things. That's why I had to protect Emma. I can't believe she didn't take a body guard with her. I had to find her. I couldn't leave her alone to go round New York by herself. It wasn't safe for her.
" Find this person. I need to know who I'm dealing with."
" Alright. I'll keep you updated."
" Thanks." I told him then I hung up.
" Fuck." I growled as I ran my hands through my hair exasperatedly. I needed a drink . Something strong .
I walked out from my study room and went to my bar . Then I took a bottle of whiskey and took a swig. I would need more of these to get me by. I took one more gulp . Why would Emma leave me? Did she not love me anymore? I know I messed up but she didn't have to leave.
I had drank more than half the bottle when I heard Greta call my name. I opened my eyes and saw her holding a gift box. I cleaned my eyes because I was already seeing two Gretas. That's how I knew the alcohol had kicked in.
" I'm sorry to disturb you but this came in earlier today . It's for you." She said tentatively as she handed me the box.
" Why would anyone give me a present? It's not even my birthday yet." I slurred as I slowly took it from her .
" I don't know Sir." She replied .
" Okay, thanks." I told her. " I hope it's a nice present though."
I took the bottle of whiskey and another bottle from the bar then I staggered upstairs to my room.
I removed my blazer and fell on my bed then I spotted the box. It was wrapped in red wrapping paper. Who would send a present to me and why?
I sat up and ripped the wrapping paper of the box and when I opened it the felt thing I smelled was a strong perfume. I reached for what was inside and felt a soft fabric and when I brought it out, it was a red thong. I quickly threw it back inside the box. Who would send me a red thong?
I know there was a time I used to get weird letters and presents from a lot of women but after the world found out about my relationship with Emma, it gradually stopped.
I saw a note inside the box and I cleaned my eyes to help me read it well.
I know I said I would stay away but I just couldn't. I'm sorry for annoying you earlier today. So here's a present to make it up to you.
I frowned when I realized that there was only one person who could send this to me. Lisa. I felt the anger building up inside me. What the hell was wrong with her ? First she threatened to tell lies against me to the whole world and now she has the guts to send me a thong? I felt disgusted just looking at it. What could I do to make her stay away from me? Did she come back for revenge? I mean I apologized to her. What else does she want?
I threw them the box away and it landed at a corner of my room. I didn't care about a stupid present. All I cared about right now was Emma. She was all I could think of . I grabbed my phone and dialed her number but after a few seconds of ringing, she didn't pick up. I kept calling her. I wouldn't give up . Maybe I could talk to her and convince her to come back .
All the calls went to voicemail until she finally switched off her phone. Did she really not want to talk to me? This meant she was really mad at me. I stopped calling but I promised my self to resume calling her tomorrow. I couldn't let her walk out of my life like this.
I couldn't even sleep properly at night. My nightmares kicked in and they were only worse. This time, I saw Emma disappearing into an abyss . This time , the monsters weren't taking her. She was willingly walking away from me. I kept yelling her name to come back to me but she wouldn't listen. It's like she was happy leaving me.
I woke up with beads of sweat on my forehead. My shirt was soaked with sweat too. Since I couldn't get any sleep , I stayed awake till morning came. The moment the first rays of the sun hit my window, I had a quick shower and dressed up. I needed to find Emma. It was just one night without her but it felt like the longest night of my life.
When it was about 8am, I dialed her number again but she still wasn't answering.
Please pick up ,Angel. I'm sorry.
All together I had called her fifteen times since yesterday. It might seem a little bit extreme but that's how crazy I was without her. I would go miles to get Emma back .
I decided to do something more extreme. Tracking her phone. Ross Mobiles have a tracking device in case a person loses their phone or if it gets stolen or in my case, if the love of your life breaks up with you and you can't find her.
In a few seconds, I found her location. She was at a hotel. The Hudson hotel precisely . Why would she go to a hotel when she could just come back home to me? Well she won't be there for long. I'll make sure of that.
It was past 9am when I got to the hotel. As I walked into the hotel lobby, I wore my sunglasses to avoid being recognized. The last thing I wanted was unwanted attention. My only mission here was to get my girl and leave.
It was hard getting the receptionist to tell me what room Emma was in so I had to remove my glasses to show her who I was . The moment she saw me , her eyes grew wide like she had just seen a ghost and she searched for Emma's room number immediately. That and the fact I knew the owner of the hotel and I could get her fired. The fact that I always had an effect on people always came as an advantage to me and today I enjoyed the privilege that came with me being a public figure as usual .
I felt a surge of adrenaline move through me as I got out of the elevator and walked through the hallway to Emma's room. Room 55 , that was her room. I knew I was the last person she suspected to be here since she was obviously trying to keep her location a secret but I promised myself that I wouldn't leave without her. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
The door opened almost immediately and I saw her. She was wearing a big grey t shirt and shorts. Her hair was in a messy bun and her eyes. She looked so beautiful. So beautiful even when she wasn't even trying but fuck, there were bags under her eyes. She had been crying a lot and it was all because of me .
" Hi Emma, I've been calling you." I said stupidly. That's was the only thing I could think of .
She looked surprised when she saw me at first . Like was she was expecting someone else and then her face formed a deep frown.
" Logan, What are you doing here? How did you know I was here?" She asked as she put her head out of the door to probably check if there was anyone in the hallway.
"It doesn't matter how I found you . All that matters is that I'm here now and I'm sorry. Please come back home."
She gave me a hard stare and crossed her arms against her chest . " You can't be here .Please go back home and leave me alone."
Her eyes held no emotion or maybe they held a lot of emotions but she was trying to cover them up with a frown.
" Emma please, I know I hurt you but I'm sorry. You have to understand that what I did wasn't intentional."
She dropped her hands as she met my gaze. " I don't need to understand anything. Just please leave. I've had enough heart break from you."
Her words pierced my heart like a sword but I was determined not to give up.
" Emma, What's going on?" I heard a voice say from inside . It was a man's voice .
She hesitated before looking back . " Nothing . It's just Logan."
Did she just say nothing?
My jaw clenched as eyes quickly searched the room and that's when I spotted him. That devil , Jake had the guts to be here after trying to attack my company yesterday.
I pushed past Emma, walking into the room. Just the sight of him made my blood boil. Did Emma invite him here? Did she tell him her room number? He was sitting on the bed. The bed she slept in last night. Was he here last night? Did he sleep in the same bed with her? Did they wake up together?
" Logan , What are you doing?" Emma asked closing the door behind her and following me inside.
" What the hell are you doing here?" I demanded, ignoring her question .
" I should be asking you the same question." He replied with a smirk . The way he was sitting leisurely on the bed infuriated me the more .
" Please leave Jake out of this." She said tiredly . She looked weak . Like she didn't care about anything right now .
I turned to her with a slightly shocked look on my face . I was still trying to fathom why she was with Jake just a day after she left me . " Are you ..." I forced myself to say the words . " We're you cheating on me with him ? Is he the reason why you left me ?"
I felt very stupid asking that question .I knew Emma would never cheat on me but Jake was here in her room and there was no other logical reason I could think of that would justify Jake being in her hotel room this early in the morning .
" What ? Now you're accusing me of cheating ?" She looked really offended. I knew I had just added more petrol to fire with those questions.
" But he's here in your room ." I glared at Jake . If looks could kill, he would have been long gone by now .
Emma took a deep breath as she was trying to stay calm . " I don't owe you any explanations but if you must know , nothing is going on between me and Jake ."
" And what if there was? What are you gonna do about it ?" Jake asked with a smirk that I wanted to punch of his face . He looked like he was enjoying the drama he was causing . " You were stupid enough to let her go ."
" What did you just say?" I stepped forward with my hand balled into fists. I wasn't a big fan of getting into fights but right now I was ready to beat the shit of Jake . Only the mere thought of him touching my Emma made me want to vomit.
Jake stood up straight in front of me , staring at me with defying eyes . The look on his face said told me that he was also ready for physical combat. He looked buff just like I was but I was pretty sure I could get away with giving him a scar on his face .
" I said , what if there was something going on between me and Emma? What are you going to do about it , Logan ? You were stupid enough to to let her go."
My jaw clenched and unclenches as I stared at this motherfucker in front of me . I was getting ready to throw the first punch when Emma got in the middle of us .
" Both of you , please stop this."
" He started it ." Jake told her like a little boy .
I scoffed " I started it ? You and your thief of a father launched a cyber attack on my company yesterday and you have the guts to stand here and say I started it ?"
" Cyber attack ?" Jake laughed . " You don't even have any proof that we attacked your company . You've been falsely accusing my father and I for years . Don't you think you're becoming a psychopath? Creating false illusions and now you have the guts to tell lies to Emma just so she wouldn't work with me . Well it's too late . She already took the job ." Jake glanced at me . " Right Emma?"
Emma looked from Jake to me . She seemed confused and why wouldn't she be? Jake had probably filled her head with lies . " I ...I..
" Look Emma. This guy is a pathological liar . He and his father are evil. You cannot accept that job . What ever he's been filling your head with , it's all lies."
She ran her hands over her hair roughly almost undoing her bun. She looked exasperated and exhausted . " Look It doesn't matter if I'm taking the job or not . Both of you should just stop this and Logan you need to leave please ."
" Why me ? He should be the one leaving ." I pointed at Jake's ugly face .
" You heard her leave." He ordered with a half smile . I could see he was enjoying the fact that she told me to leave and not him . The restraint could only last me long enough . One more word from Jake's mouth and I was going to forget my fist on his face .
" Oh my God . Logan just go. You've hurt me enough. What exactly did you come to do here? Beg me to come back home with you?"
" Yes." I answered her desperately , trying to ignore Jake's presence. " Please come back home Emma. I made a mistake and I'm so sorry. Please just come home."
Her eyes looked watery and her face became soft . Maybe she was considering coming back. I still had a good chance after all. Jake tried to spoil it but in his face. Emma would come home with me and we can pretend all of this never happened.
Emma stared at the floor for a few seconds before looking up to meet my eyes. She shook her head once. " No."
Did she just say no?
" You rejected my baby. Your baby. You chose your ex wife over me, a dead woman and yesterday, you chose your company over me." Tears rolled down her cheek as she talked. It felt like she was talking from the deepest part of her heart . " You broke me over and over again but I still stayed. I gave you a lot of chances but you took them for granted . You'll take as many chances as I'm willing to give you . I can't do this anymore, Logan. I just can't."
Her words drove a sword to my heart. Yesterday she left but it felt like today she was finally breaking up with me. I came here to get her back but it felt like I was losing her the more.
" Emma, please." I begged.
" No. You being here is already too much for me. I came to this hotel to get away from you and you can't even leave me alone . I'm tired of the drama. I'm tired of the pain. Just please leave." Her voice was breaking and I could tell she was trying to hold back tears.
I glanced at Jake and he still had the smirk on his face. He raised one of his eye brows, signaling me to leave. I was hoping he would say something . Just one word so that I would take out all the anger and the pain of Emma telling me to leave on him but he stayed mute.
You better thank your stars, Jake.
" Alright I'll leave." I agreed reluctantly. I placed a quick kiss on Emma's forehead and the way she flinched sawed my heart into two. She didn't even want me to kiss her. " I'll be back , Angel. I promise you that."
She didn't give me any reply instead she went to sit at a corner of the bed and buried her head in her palms. I didn't know if she was crying or not but I wanted to hold her . To tell her to stop crying . To clean those tears off her rosy cheeks but she asked me to leave and that's what I was going to do. For now.
I reached for the door knob but before I opened the door, I turned around and held Jake's gaze. He was still standing there, waiting for me to leave like a guard.
" Jake Hartley, you and your father will rot in jail."
I didn't wait for his reply before I left the room and slammed the door behind me. I wasn't going to give up so easily . No matter how many times Emma told me to leave I would just keep coming back . I would never let Emma go . She's my lifeline.
~~
Hey guys! We've come to the end for this chapter .
Just to let you guys know . You might hate Logan for a little bit longer . Sorry not Sorry😊
Please leave respectful comments, suggestions and VOTE.
P.s you might want to reduce the way you insult the characters. They're human to and they're prone to mistakes if you think about it 🤷🏻♀️
I would be glad of you follow me on my Instagram handle : @aru_chii . I'll start posting updates about my books there soon . I love you all and stay safe❤️
Xoxo Kiara ❤️❤️