The smile on her face dropped as soon as it came and I could feel the eyes of my family and friends on me.
“Fifi—”
“Why are you here?” I asked her again.
She opened her mouth and closed it before she finally found a reply.
“Well Hannah’s my cousin too so I came for her wedding.” She said regaining her composure.
“Well I’m glad you’re here for someone, I believe we can get through this without saying a word to each other.” I said and walked away but she quickly grabbed my arm.
“Fifi I’m sorry.” She said and I looked at those eyes that looked exactly like mine.
“For what? Leaving or being a shitty sister?” I asked her and once again she was rendered speechless.
“For everything.” She muttered quietly.
“Well it’s a little bit late for that.” I told her and removed my arm from her hold.
As I walked away, I looked up to see my parents in front of me.
“You knew she was coming didn’t you?” I asked them.
“Honey she’s family.”
“Family doesn’t leave mum! She left without thinking twice! You didn’t send her away, she just up and left so stop acting like its okay!” I shouted as I could feel my eyes start to tear up.
I knew I was attracting an audience but I was pissed and sad at the same time.
“Honey she’s your sister.” My dad said this time around and I finally looked at them, like really looked at them and for the first time in years I didn’t see pity, I saw concern.
“No dad. I lost my sister a long time ago.” I said calmly and I heard my mum take in a sharp breath, a sign that she was about to cry so I walked away before she let out the waterworks.
I didn’t know where I was going but I just kept walking till I reached a particular area that was surrounded with flowers and a small fountain so I walked over to the bench and sat down.
I let out a loud breath as I let my mind wander while trying so hard not to cry.
Five years ago my sister left the house without a second glance. It was the year everything went down the drain and I was sure my family had been destroyed beyond repair.
The arguments between my parents got worse and slowly, we all became strangers well mostly me because I hated the look of pity they kept giving me.
“Hey Bumblebee.” I heard my cousin call and I turned to see him walking towards me.
“Hi Tomi.” I answered him with a small smile.
“Everyone’s worried about you back there.” He said and sat beside me.
“I’ll be fine. I just needed to get away for a second.” I told him and we settled in a comfortable silence.
“You knew she was coming didn’t you?” I finally asked him after a while and he confirmed my question with a nod.
“We all did. You know Hannah’s like her best friend.”
He was right. Just like Tiwa and I were close, Hannah and my sister were also close and I knew that she’d been talking to her since she left.
“Funny how she talks more to her cousin than her own sister. I haven’t heard a word from her since she left.” I told him.
“You know what our greatest fear was?” He asked me and I shook my head at him.
“That you’d never be happy again.” He answered and I kept quiet.
“That night, you lost the glow in your eyes and it broke my heart to see you like that. Your eyes were lifeless and you didn’t say a word to anybody for weeks.
Tiwa cried a lot and kept praying for you. We all did.” He stopped and wiped the tears from my eyes away with his handkerchief which made me realize I was crying.
“Then you started talking again but you were never the same and seeing you with the guys, I can finally see the light come back even though it’s gradually.”
“They don’t know what happened, I’m scared of how they’ll see me if they find out.” I told him finally voicing out my deepest fears.
“Emily is still here isn’t she? Plus I doubt that’s going to chase them away because it’s obvious they really love you and you do too because you actually allow the guys to hug you.” He said and my eyes widened in realization.
“You didn’t notice did you?” He asked me with a small smile and I shook my head.
“It took you six months before you let me touch you and a year to hug you but it’s been less than two months with them.” He said and it finally hit me.
I never let guys touch me before I met them. It scared the hell out of me and I avoided every encounter with guys till the stupid lunch incident.
“I freaked out on several occasions when I first met them and I could tell they were curious about my fear of guys but I guess a part of me trusts them which is a lot faster than normal but then again, Justin’s a hugger.” I told him with a shrug which caused him to laugh a little.
“I’m glad you’re opening your heart and letting people in little one.” He said wrapping his arm around me which caused me to settle into his warmth.
“Do you have space for one more?” He asked quietly and I pulled away to look at him.
“She left Tomi.” I reminded him and he just nodded in understanding.
“I know but you were all grieving in your different ways.”
“But I needed my big sister to be there for me.”
“Have you ever stopped to think that maybe she felt like she failed you? You were broken Fifi and no-one knew how to fix you, you were all going through your different healing process and yours was being a mute,” He paused with an amused smile and I just rolled my eyes at him, “maybe hers was leaving but you’ll never know if you don’t speak to her again. She’s your sister baby girl and your only one at that. Think about it okay?” He asked me and I just nodded.
“I love you.” He said and placed a kiss on my head before getting up and walking away.
“Love you too Tee.” I called out to him before taking my attention back to the fountain.
Maybe, just maybe he was right but a part of me still wanted to be mad at her.
I let out a loud sigh before saying out,
Dear Lord, please help me.
“You pray?” A voice asked and I whipped my head to look at a familiar pair of grey eyes behind me.
“Of course I pray. Why in God’s name did you scare me like that?” I asked him with a glare.
“I wasn’t trying to, I just didn’t want to disturb your little moment.” He said and walked towards me taking Tomi’s former position.
“So do you go to church?” He asked.
“Used to. I stopped going a few years back because I felt like God left me.” I told him while admiring the sky.
“Are you ever going back?” He asked again.
“I’m not sure yet. I hope I can get answers before I go back.” I told him.
“Answers to what?”
“The millions of questions in my head and probably the things that have happened.” I said and turned to see him staring at me.
His eyes were searching mine for answers that I wasn’t ready to give him but before I could look away, he spoke.
“You’ve been crying.” He said in more of a statement than a question.
“I guess so.” I said and looked away from his inquisitive eyes.
“So that’s the famous sister you told me about?” He asked and I just nodded.
“You guys look alike like a whole lot.”
“I hear that a lot. Sometimes people think we’re twins but she has definitely gotten prettier than the last time I saw her.” I told him remembering how she looked.
She’d cut her hair in a short Bob, a step I’ve been too scared to take because of my crazy attachment to my long hair, her eyes seemed brighter and there was a particular glow she had that I just couldn’t place my finger on.
“How long has she been gone for?” He asked snapping me out of my inner thoughts.
“Five years.” I told him and he just nodded in understanding.
“So are you ever going to talk to her about it?” He asked after a while of silence.
“I don’t know Alex. It’s just like how it is with your father except that she’s my sister and I didn’t even see her leave. It was while I was asleep and I just woke up to see that she left, no note, no message nothing. I called and called but I guess she stopped using those numbers because they never went through and everyday I hoped she would come through those doors and tell me she was there for me, that it was just a prank and that she’d never leave me but it never happened. My heart broke as days passed till I just became numb and suddenly it felt like she was never there. Seeing her just brought back a lot of emotions that I thought I stopped feeling.” I told him and I turned to see him staring at me intently.
I could tell that he wanted to know what happened but I wasn’t ready to tell him yet and I was grateful that he didn’t ask.
“I understand how you feel. I mean I’ve been avoiding my dad for weeks now which is really hard because he’s spending more time with the twins these days but I’m just not ready to face him yet. I guess I just want to feel angry a bit more in case what I hear ends up being reasonable you know?” He asked with a small smile and I nodded laughing lightly.
“I get you but do you think we’re being selfish?”
“I think we have the right to be mad. We were hurt by people we cared the most about so I think we have every right to feel this way.” He said and I nodded like he was talking to himself.
“How about this? I talk to my dad when you finally talk to your sister.” He told me turning to face me fully.
“Isn’t that supposed to be the other way round since your dad came earlier?” I asked him with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m the one proposing the deal here so no questions.” He told me waving his hands at me to shush me and I just laughed feeling a sense of relief.
“Whatever. It’s a deal.” I told him which caused him to smile as he stretched his hand towards me.
I placed my hand in his and his smile widened.
It wasn’t his usual cocky smile, it was a genuine one that make his eyes squint a little and trust me people, his smile could melt hearts.
I felt tingles where our hands connected and I could feel my heart beat pick up.
Okay, this is not weird at all.
“Now come on, we have a wedding to attend.” He said pulling me up and holding on to my hand.
His other hand went to my cheek as he wiped a stray tear from my eye but this time his touch lingered as he stared at me and I suddenly felt like he could see through me.
He gave me a small smile again and asked, “You ready?”
I nodded and he removed his hand from my cheek as we walked towards the wedding reception without letting go of my hand.
As soon as we got back into the hall, my friends turned to look at me with worried looks on their faces and I gave them a reassuring smile which seemed to calm them down a bit but all of a sudden the girls walked to me and literally dragged me away from Alex towards the toilet saying they had to fix me up because of my tears.
“I honestly see no reason for this, I could just wash it off.” I muttered as Rosa adjusted the powder on my face.
“You’re unnecessarily dramatic Fi, you’re just lucky the makeup artist used a waterproof eyeliner and mascara so there’s not much damage done.” Emily said to me.
“Gee thanks bestie. I can really feel the love from over here.” I told her with a small smile which made her roll her eyes at me but she also gave me a look that said we’d talk later.
“We haven’t taken pictures yet so there will be no washing of anything yet.” Lauren said.
“You mean the hundreds of thousands we took isn’t enough?” I asked her with a raised eyebrow.
“No Fiona, it’s funny how you think that’s all for today. Plus we haven’t taken pictures with the guys yet.” Rosa said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Don’t worry, Rosa is really great at taking at editing pictures.” Lauren said.
“Are you taking Photography as a course in the Uni?” I asked her.
“I’m not sure yet, I’m still deciding but there’s still time to think about it.” She said with a shrug, “And I’m done. Fi you look as good as new.” She said with a proud smile and moved to clear up her makeup products.
“Way to make me feel like a kitchen utensil.” I told her and she just laughed at me while we all walked back outside but not before I stopped to look at the mirror to see that I did look as good as new.
We spent the rest of the day taking pictures, eating, laughing and dancing with one another.
Till the DJ played another slow song again and once again my friends were all paired up except this time, Tiwa was with Justin and Emily was with Tomi.
Okay?
“I believe you owe me a dance.” Alex said coming to stand in front of me.
“You’re not letting this go are you?” I asked him trying to fight the smile off my face.
“Not until you dance with me.” He said moving closer to me with a mischievous glint in his eye.
“I still don’t trust you but whatever.” I told him shaking my head as I placed my hand in his outstretched hand while he placed his other hand on my waist and I placed mine on his shoulder.
We swayed softly to Ed Sheeran’s perfect and when Calum Scott’s You are the reason came on, he twirled me around before drawing me back to him but this time around, he placed his hands on both sides of my waist so I had to put my arms around his neck.
"Charming." I commented with a small smile.
"I try." He said with a smirk and I just rolled my eyes at him.
There goes my heart beating
Cause you are the reason
I'm losing my sleep
Please come back now
There goes my mind racing
And you are the reason
That I'm still breathing
I'm hopeless now
I'd climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
And fix what I've broken
Oh, cause I need you to see
That you are the reason
As we danced to the lyrics of the song, I couldn’t help but wonder how I suddenly managed to snatch the attention of one the hottest guys in school but then again I give all credit to my clumsiness.
There goes my hands shaking
And you are the reason
My heart keeps bleeding
I need you now
If I could turn back the clock
I'd make sure the light defeated the dark
I'd spend every hour, of every day
Keeping you safe
And I'd climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
And fix what I've broken
Oh, cause I need you to see
That you are the reason
It’s weird how when I started this year, I planned to be on the low but now two months down the line, I’m friends with the most famous guys in school who prior to my initial thoughts are one of the most amazing people I know.
I don't wanna fight no more
I don't wanna hide no more
I don't wanna cry no more
Come back I need you to hold me
(You are the reason)
Come a little closer now
Just a little closer now
Come a little closer
I need you to hold me tonight
I'd climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
And fix what I've broken
Cause I need you to see
That you are the reason
Alex’s gaze got more intense and I could feel my heartbeat pick up once again so instead of letting him know that he had an effect on me, I raised my brow at him in a questioning manner.
“You’re different, a good kind of different and I like it. You’re kind of hard to figure out but I’m willing to hang around till I figure every bit of you out because something tells me it’ll all be worth it.” He said with an intense look.
“What do you mean?” I asked him softly as our faces were dangerously close to each other.
“Don’t worry Princess, just wait and see.” He said with a wink and softly placed a kiss on my forehead.
My eyes widened at the gesture and I could feel my heartbeat fly over the roof like I’d just ran a marathon.
When he pulled away, I realized that the song had ended and it was not changed to a Hip Hop song.
I looked at him to see him wink at me and before I could do anything, I was dragged away by an overexcited Justin who kept jumping around like a kid.
As the night progressed, I pushed the thought of what Alex said to the back of my mind as I danced with my friends.
It felt good being able to say that but I’m sure they all saw what happened and I was expecting a lot of grilling from the girls and family later on.
I really have nothing to say so why don't you tell me in the comment section hoe you've been coping with this pandemic?
I'll be waiting for your answers lovelies 😘
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